I haven't updated this in weeks, and there's a good reason for that: College is time-consuming and I sat at the computer and concentrated on the page until I could come up with something that might be funny.

So, after much rumination and editing, here is Chapter Four.

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything. Not even any merchandise from the stores parodied in this chapter.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Gozaburo stomped into the office. "Impossible stupid schedule..." he growled.

"What, does the meeting cut into your ego-inflation time?" Seto's eyes refused to leave his laptop's screen. Of course, whose eyes wouldn't, when the other option was to actually look at Gozaburo.

"I see Ms. Toilet's lessons have failed to sink in," Gozaburo remarked, slamming his briefcase down on the table. "They've postponed our meeting."

Now Seto's eyes did travel upwards-then burned when he saw that his father was wearing that horridly bright red suit again. "What was the reason for that?"

"According to their rather dubious-sounding secretary, they canceled due to the impending alteration of direction in our plot."

"What in the blazes is that supposed to mean?" Seto went right back to his laptop.

"I don't know, and I don't particularly care, just as long as they can come up with a better excuse by the time we do have the conference." Gozaburo turned and left the room. Seto watched as the door to the office slammed shut. He then minimized the decoy important document and maximized the window entitled, "Penthouse Dragons: White Lightning, Indeed."

Having left his son to his dragon delights, Gozaburo stalked off to his sleeping quarters. "Those idiots better have a damn good reason for canceling," he growled through his teeth as he put down his briefcase.

He felt the muscles in his neck attempt to engage in some sort of slam dance. The not at all comfortable sensation spread to his shoulders, then decided, "Hey, wouldn't it be so cool if I went all the way up to his head and into his eyes?" Gozaburo jerked the blinds shut.

"Stupid tension headaches. It's so stressful being so awesome all the time." His head jerked upwards, causing quite possibly the worst brain explosion since Mokuba tried to sit through the entire length of "Pink Flamingoes." "Did I just use the word 'awesome' in my thoughts? I'd rather know what page Seto's really looking at than use that word in any form."

He shook his head. "I must be overworked. I think I just need to relax…But how?"

Seto was exiting the office with a huge, sloppy grin on his face when Gozaburo traversed the hallway and headed briskly towards the stairs. Seto took that moment to note that he was neither carrying his briefcase nor himself in such a way that would suggest he was going back to work.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

Gozaburo turned around slowly, his face a mask of impassivity.

"Shopping!" he sang, his voice fluttering as high as Mount Everest as his hands flapped like tiny wings.

Seto's back decided to become intimate with the floor.

-O-o-O-

Fortunately for Seto (and Noah and Mokuba, and maybe even Roland), in his cloud of shopping joy, Gozaburo neglected to summon Ms. Toilet. Nobody even thought to call her…Well, actually they did, but they rethought that particular course of action after remembering yesterday's events. Not that they actually wanted to be babysat by her; Mokuba wanted to observe her more and hear more about what she wanted from Gozaburo. Noah objected, saying that they could all use a break from the possible Big Bird murderer (a trial had not yet been held). As for Seto, he just didn't care.

Mokuba had emerged from his room at precisely the same moment Seto regained consciousness. He made no remark about the small drool puddle next to his brother, nor did he comment on the rather undignified manner in which he was sprawled across the floor.

"What the hell happened?" Seto muttered, still half-awake. Mokuba was standing over him, looking almost amused.

"It would appear that you fainted. Maybe you should take a day off," Mokuba answered, stifling a snicker at the line of saliva dangling from the edge of Seto's mouth.

"I'll be fine, Mokuba," Seto said, trying to discreetly wipe away the drool. "As soon as I get an Advil, I'll be fine."

Mokuba looked around, noticing the office was empty. "Where'd Gozaburo go?"

Seto twitched. "Shopping." Then he went off in search of something a bit stronger than Advil that also came in a bottle.

-O-o-O-

Meanwhile, Gozaburo strolled through the mall. He didn't buy anything; he just loved to bask in the fact that he could buy and sell this dump ten times over.

He stole quick glances at the teenagers ducking in and out of stores. Was this what people did with their hard-earned money and time? He made a note to buy some space in the store for a KaibaCorp store. He immediately discarded the thought when he saw that Seto and Noah already had (though, he wasn't exactly sure how well the idea sat with the public, since some smartass had spray-painted "KaibaCrap" under the sign). He rounded the corner and proceeded past Veronica's Discretion, Perpetually Twenty-two, and Cold Subject, taking note of what the people seemed to be buying in great quantities.

As he observed a particularly well-endowed mannequin, an unusual sight crept into his peripheral vision. A shiny, pink and blond-haired sight.

Just exiting Plantain Dictatorship was a woman who seemed to glitter down the path. She did not walk, she did not tread; she glittered. Her blond and pink hair floated, though one would think that all the glitter (which had to be mired in a vat of hair gel) would weigh it down.

Gozaburo found himself unable to operate his legs as she approached, which was unfortunate, in his opinion. His last thoughts were that if she were to brush against him, he'd need to bathe with a wire brush that night.

-O-o-O-

For the past hour, Mokuba had been working on a plan to track down Ms. Toilet and isolate her so they could observe her better. So far, all he had was a three-sentence paragraph and a diagram depicting Ms. Toilet walking down the street with her arms flailing while he, Seto, and Noah followed with hats pulled down over their faces. He'd gotten a little carried away with some of the details of the drawing; as of that moment Ms. Toilet's beehive, if the drawing's scale matched reality, would be at least three feet high. Mokuba brandished an enormous umbrella (presumably to fend off the aforementioned Kaiba-sitter, should she attack them), Seto held a bottle of an unnamed liquid behind his back, and Noah wielded the biggest tobacco pipe on earth.

For the past hour, Seto had been working on a rather large bottle of beer. So far, he'd only gotten about halfway finished with it. He'd gotten a little carried away, or at least his imagination had, judging by the pink elephants jumping around on the table. As of that moment, one of the elephants was attempting to tell him something, but was muted.

For the past hour, Noah had been washing his brain out with bleach after hearing the description of Gozaburo's behavior. So far, he'd decided he'd need at least two years of therapy to fully recover after the brain cleansing. As of that moment, he was forced to conjure up the image of Ms. Toilet in her underwear from the previous day.

Mokuba put down his pencil. "This is pointless. Let's just go now."

"Well, we're not going to have much luck finding her if we don't know where she is," Noah pointed out. Seto only sat there with a dull grin on his face.

"Well, we're never going to find her if we just sit around getting drunk all day," Mokuba retorted.

"Hey, I'm not drunk," Seto answered, a little too loudly.

"Sure you're not. You're also not underage." Mokuba folded up his diagram. As he was standing up, it hit him. He looked around to hit it back, until he realized he was incapable of hitting an idea. He also couldn't even begin to guess why this particular idea hit him (it probably had issues with violence).

"I think she's at the mall," Mokuba said, heading for the door.

"Huh?" was all Seto in his present state could manage to utter.

"Mokuba, even our drunken brother realizes that's an incredibly irrational guess," Noah protested, going after him.

"I'm not drunk!" Seto turned off of the chair and fell flat on his face. "Maybe a little, then."

"Actually, it's not such a leap of logic. Gozaburo said he'd be shopping; Ms. Toilet wants to do something with him. I think she could very well have stalked him all the way to the mall," Mokuba explained, propping Seto up against him, as they walked to Noah's car.

"Okay, if we have to go to the mall, we are not going in that," Seto said, as they approached the car.

"What do you have against my car?" Noah demanded, unlocking the bright orange door of the mostly lime green Volkswagen.

"For one, it makes my head hurt," Seto answered, shielding his eyes. "And if we get in a wreck with an SUV, which we very well might, with your driving, we're screwed."

"Well, then, I'll drive at fifty miles per hour this time." Noah slid into the driver's seat. Seto shot Mokuba an "I'm too drunk to argue, help me out here" look.

"Hey, I'm not the one who taught him to drive."

-O-o-O-o-O-

The ending wasn't as funny as I thought it would be, but the alternatives were even less humorous.