Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing. ^-^
A/N: Thanks a lot to my beta-reader, for helping me out and motivating me to move on with this story. You are the best!
song used: Immortality by Celine Dion and the Beegees
Back to Zero
a 1xR, 3xR fanfic by Ines kanoyan
Romance/Drama
Chapter 6: Immortality
So this is who I am
And this is all I know
And I must choose to live
For all that I can give
The spark that makes the power grow
And I will stand for my dream if I can
Symbol of my faith in who I am
But you are my only
Relena drank straight what could be her 23rd shot of whiskey for the night. She smiled intoxicatingly as she stared at her glass.
"My 23rd shot," she said to herself. "Happy birthday to me…"
Everything's hazy now. She was after all, not really used to drinking this much. She wasn't drinking at all. The Vice Foreign Minister and former Queen of the World, Relena Peacecraft couldn't afford to be an alcoholic - never before and sure not now. But, really? Can she really survive the day- no, not just any other day, her birthday - without an aide to make her forget the events that had just occurred on her supposed to be special day?
He was back again in her life. He was gone three years ago just like that. And now he's back, again, just like that. And seriously? For her birthday? Yeah right. What a nice surprise. And he's a whole new different person-she had called him Arthur. So, was he, her Arthur now? Her smiling and laughing Gundam pilot turned bodyguard. What the hell?
CRASH!
Everything went pitch black.
I couldn't contain nor comprehend the scene happening before my eyes. Here I am on my 23rd birthday sitting in a restaurant with the man I so yearn to see, to be with and I am completely, dumbfoundedly silent.
"It's such an honor to be spending my birthday with you, former Queen of the World and Princess Relena Peacecraft." He even said, out of nowhere. Or maybe, he was trying to make me comfortable, seeing how unusually quiet I was when Sophie claimed that I was such a fun person to be with.
To his remark, I only managed a really, really awkward smile followed by, well, I tried to voice out something but I just found talking a hard feat to perform. Gladly, Sophie came to my rescue.
"Oh, Arthur, don't make Relena uncomfortable." she pleaded but in a reprimanding tone. "You know how royalties hate the formalities."
Heero Yuy chuckled. Yes, he did. For the last ten minutes sitting here with him, he had smiled, laughed, talked, commented and chuckled casually. What am I saying? But, really? He did chuckle before apologizing.
"Sorry, about that. I never learn. Sophie sure wouldn't enjoy your company if your one of those ill-bred, obnoxious princesses she absolutely dreads." He said as he looked at me while casually enjoying his cup of coffee.
Again, I only manage a reply to that in the form of an ultra-awkward smile or it might have appeared as a grin.
Suddenly, his phone rang and he had to excuse himself to take the call. And, Sophie and I were alone at last. Sophie, who was sensitive enough to notice my unusual silence and weird forced replies in the form of awkward smiles, managed to inquire about it.
"Hey, Relena," she said in a whisper. "Are you ok? You seem to have something that bothering you."
I sighed helplessly. "Nothing, it's just-"
"Being alone for your birthday is sure to be the saddest thing in the world, right?"
"Yeah," I decided to agree and smiled to hide my emotions.
"Awwww, don't worry, we're here for you. Arthur's really nice, you two would get along really fine." she assured.
In an instant, Heero was back and was standing just behind his seat which was in between mine and Sophie's.
"Sorry 'bout that. I thought it was something of an emergency since it was my superior who called, but turns out the team just wants to give their birthday greetings in a unique way." He narrated proudly.
"Really? And how unique was it?" Sophie inquired, obviously curious.
"Well, they made a dance presentation, sort of a cheer dance performance of 'Happy Birthday, Arthur'."
Sophie chuckled in amusement. "They're just so cute!"
Heero smirked as he blushed in embarrassment. He then turned to look at me and he might have noticed how I clueless I was in their conversation.
"Sorry, Relena. That was about my co-workers at the City Hospital. I work there as a paramedic, you know." He enlightened me. "They look really in control and serious everyday heroes but they're really a bunch of crazy, outrageous fools."
He said all of that while smiling and with an enthusiasm that was like Duo's. He was still talking but I just couldn't follow anymore. His actions were speaking louder than his statements, making the neurons in my brain struggle with forming new connections to allow me to comprehend anything he was saying. The only thing that was clear to me was this man before me was slowly becoming more and more unlike Heero.
"Relena!" Trowa spoke in relief. "We have all been worried about you."
When she regained her consciousness, the first thing she saw was a pair of emerald green eyes staring intently at her own and glimmered in delight when she gazed back at them.
Then, Relena realized it wasn't only Trowa's eyes that were attuned to her. There were eight other pairs of eyes gazing upon her worriedly. She managed to slowly sit up as Trowa assisted her. She was back in her condo, alright. Noticing the familiar room and oh, there were party decors all over the living room.
"You prepared a surprise for me." She concluded sadly.
"Yeah," Duo replied at once. "But, we were the ones surprised, when Trowa went home with an unconscious and apparently drunk birthday celebrant."
"I'm sorry," she sighed sadly.
Milliardo made room for himself and sat next to his sister. "Tell us what happened."
Relena again sighed sadly- not quite ready and comfortable enough to impart the reason behind her sudden intoxication. But, she has to face the fact and be brave enough to move forward.
"He's back." she mumbled softly. "Heero."
And I must follow on the road that lies ahead
And I won't let my heart control my head
But you are my only
And we don't say good bye
And I know what I've got to be
Immortality
I make my journey through eternity
I keep the memory of you and me inside
Relena couldn't thank the heavens more for the wonderful people she have in her life. They all made her forget how alone she felt after the 'Heero Incident'. Milliardo and Noin were always comforting to be with. They had always provided her that sense of security whenever they were together and the good news of them trying to have a baby was sheer joy for Relena. The three other pilots of course brought their 'girlfriends' with them although only Duo would have the nuts to admit or to accept that. Nonetheless, Relena was glad that they were all here casual and not at all stoic or formal with her. Of course, the girls were a delight to spend time with. Hilde, Dorothy and Sally were very different from each other but they all made her forget that she had just seen a dead man come to life.
After her brother and Noin had to leave early for other commitments and while the guys were busy drinking and talking about mobile suits stuff, the girls managed to get a three-on-one catching up session with Relena. As soon as the guys got too engrossed with their poker/drinking game, the girls retreated to Relena's room enjoy a long overdue ladies' night chat.
"So, tell us everything. " Hilde immediately said as she closed the door behind her.
Relena gave out a quizzical look.
"She means about you and Heero seeing each other again." Dorothy explained impatiently, easily annoyed at Relena's apparent slow comprehension.
"Oh, that. Well, as I have said, he's a different person entirely." She replied briefly.
"Well, amnesia does that." Sally said, in a way confirming Relena's statement through a doctor's point of view.
"Yeah, but I've always thought Heero was immune to stuff like that. You know he saved the whole universe way back but he didn't manage to save his memories for himself." Hilde quipped.
"As if his memories were really worth treasuring." Dorothy commented in a sarcastic tone.
"Dorothy!" Hilde bellowed.
"No offense to anybody, especially to the birthday girl." Dorothy immediately apologized, looking rather sincere at that. "But, hey, I've got a point."
"She's right." Sally agreed. "Usually, people from the war experience post-traumatic amnesia. It's like an unconscious coping mechanism to push painful and dreadful experiences to the deep recesses of the brain. Heero's too strong to exhibit that but maybe the accident was the universe's way of thanking him by pushing away his terrifying war memories, especially the savage, horrifying visions of death and doom courtesy of the Zero System."
Relena was learning a lot and seeing a new perspective on this whole amnesia situation of Heero. While all of her thoughts were stupid, senseless and even pathetic rambling about how different Heero was and how fate was cruel enough to bring back an alien version of her Heero, her friends' analysis and synthesis of things were actually pretty rational, sensible and even bordering on the scientific. Thanks a lot to Sally for that.
The three ladies noticed Relena's silence and felt that she may be taking all of this harder than what she appears to be. They were never clueless about how Relena had always felt about Heero and how hard it was for her to accept the accident that made all of them think that Heero was lost forever. They decided to take the conversation and the questioning on a lighter note.
"But, come to think of it, Relena dear," Dorothy started off. "This could be a blessing in disguise."
Relena frowned quizzically at that. "Blessing?"
"Uh huh," Dorothy said, as she sat beside Relena on the bed. "Your relationship with Heero had been a painfully slow progress much like the birth of a new star, thanks to his "perfect soldier" persona. Now, that he is the typical boy-next-door/paramedic hottie, your credentials as the princess-loved-by-all persona might just be the start of new love affair."
"What? Dorothy what are you saying?" Relena exclaimed, not comfortable with Dorothy describing her and Heero.
"She's saying, why not use Heero's new persona to your advantage? He still is Heero but more human and normal. You know, typical guy with needs." Hilde said, winking in a rather naughty way.
Relena just face palmed herself after hearing her friends' suggestions. Yeah, Dorothy was as manipulative as ever but Hilde wasn't anything like that. She began to wonder whether living under the same roof as Duo could alter a person that easily.
"Who wouldn't say no to the former Queen of the World, right?" Sally teased some more, as she raised he hand high up for a bunch of high-fives from the other girls.
Relena couldn't help but giggle at the silly, naughty ideas of her supposedly serious girlfriends.
But, of course, time flies when one is having fun. Relena dreaded closing the door behind her and being back at her condo with all the memories slipping back to her consciousness again.
But, she was not alone.
He was looking at her with that look of genuine concern. It was almost like he was hugging her. The wonders those emerald swirls could do to comfort her was just amazing.
"Will you be okay?" he asked, as she sat next to her at the couch.
She thought of replying with the same old cliché that was 'of course' but she just couldn't lie to him. He had seen her weep over Heero years ago and she knows pretty well that he would easily detect if she were to lie.
"I don't know," she chose to say. "I just can't believe it. I guess."
"But, you already saw him a few days ago, right?"
"Yeah, but today was different. We were actually sitting on the same table. We were chatting. He was laughing, smiling talking to me casually. Like it was our first time meeting each other." Relena allowed herself a lavish expression of her feelings. She just couldn't contain the absurdity that happened at the café.
"Well, we both know it wasn't anything like that when you first met, right?" Trowa quipped with a playful smile on his lips.
Relena caught herself smiling on that one. "I know right." She said, as she laughed softly. "That's why I can't contain how normal he was acting a while ago!"
Trowa chuckled at that too. They both laughed. But, Relena couldn't laugh that long.
"I don't know what to do, Trowa." she finally admitted in defeat; knowing very well that there would be more of Heero and more of her feeling uneasy about her feelings for him. "Sophie and I are friends and I just couldn't shut her off just because of him."
"This isn't about Sophie, Relena." Trowa replied plainly. "This is about you and Heero. I know."
Relena's silence couldn't agree more to that. And Trowa couldn't believe he'd be actually saying this, "You should win him back."
Relena's eyes widened for some unexplainable impulse. But, that didn't sound to be an easy task. "Win him back,"
"Make him remember everything. Who he is, who we are, how you are."
"What about Sophie?" Relena said, not thoroughly prepared and confident about Trowa's suggestion. "I think he's very special to her. And what exactly do I do?"
"You have to tell Sophie who he really is. That's the only way. We can't do anything without her help."
Fulfill your destiny
Is there within the child
My storm will never end
My fate is on the wind
The king of hearts, the joker's wild
But we don't say goodbye
I'll make them all remember me
Cause I have found a dream that must come true
Every ounce of me must see it through
But you are my only
I'm sorry I don't have a role for love to play
Hand over my heart I'll find my way
I will make them give it to me
That night, Relena pondered on everything that had happened on the day of her 23rd birthday. Seeing him again alive and happy was like being reborn again. But, it also felt like being an infant again, where one couldn't rationalize nor express one's feelings in the right way. He was so different but the feeling he steered within her were the same if not amplified to a whole new level.
Then, she recalled those nights when she had thought she had lost him forever. How she regretted not making him realize how much he means to her; how he had radiated that distinct sense of strength and hope that allowed her to become the beacon of light for the whole world. He did not know anything and oh how she burned to let him know.
This was her chance. She would not dare waste it.
The following morning, Relena made a call to Sophia Nuremberg and told her everything there was to know about a man named, Heero Yuy.
Immortality
There is a vision and a fire in me
I keep the memory of you and me inside
And we don't say goodbye
With all my love for you
And what else we may do
We don't say goodbye….
-TBC-