Chapter 15
Chapter 15
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Lily – Normal
Sirius – Bold
James – Normal underlined
Remus – Italics
Peter – Bold Italics
And for this chapter –
Emma – bold, italics underlined
Good afternoon single females of Hogwarts, I don't have a date tonight.
I wonder why.
Well it's not my fault that someone spread that I had some, er, diseases.
I'm sorry, Black, I thought everyone should know before they catch them too.
Padfoot you didn't tell us you had-
I DON'T!
You don't? Well there isn't much we can do about it now, sorry Black.
SORRY? That's all you can say?
You don't have to apologise to him Emma, he probably deserved it.
What did the prick do this time?
I caught the brainless twat making out with Alicia when he's supposed to be dating Melanie.
Well, they always know that one day that's going to happen.
You're insufferable!
Why don't you just admit that you're freakishly attracted to me?
Your right! Wanna make out?
Huh?
What?
Haha! You've got 5 pimples growing and popping already!
She just hexed me!
Yeah, with a popping pimple jinx! (I know this jinx doesn't exist :))
Try in on again Black and you will be neutered.
Listen up you egotistical jerk, why can't you just leave her alone, Black, she's Remus' girlfriend.
Upset that I don't hit on you anymore, Evans, your always number one in my books, I won't forget that night we spent together.
What when we played exploding snap?
Yeah it was so beautiful.
You're such an annoyance!
Who can resist the one and only Sirius Black?
All these girls you claim to have slept with must be deluded.
How can the whole school be deluded?
So you've been with guys too?
Yeah, and one of them was your boyfriend.
Idiot!
Yeah, I hate to break it to you, but Remmy is bisexual.
When are you going to grow up?
When you marry Pete and have nine kids.
Sirius: what is your morning routine? Do you take hours to get ready? That could be part of why Remus thinks you're gay.
The morning is the most awful time of the day; we each get about five minutes on average in the bathroom, but Sirius gets five hours in the morning.
You should wake up early like me.
No thanks; normal human beings do not get up at four in the morning.
Well, he's not normal is he?
You want my body, Mason.
Yeah you're so sexy.
She thinks I'm sexy Moony, watch out.
I was being sarcastic you immature berk.
I love you too.
Care to tell us what you do for five hours in a bathroom?
Simple, shower, washing hair, drying hair, fixing hair, shaving, brushing teeth and some other stuff.
You call that simple?!
You shave everyday? I only shave once a week!
Well that's how a get my lovely and soft skin that is lovely to stroke.
And who'd want to stroke your ugly face.
Er, everyone!
Black, your morning routine is so pathetic.
Hey! It takes time to look this good!
Is that what you call good?
No this is what I call; perfect, gorgeous, sexy, attractive, smart, fit, athletic, must I go on?
No you mustn't because not one of those things is true.
Do you enjoy yourself whilst you're insulting me?
Yeah actually, it's a lot of fun.
I agree!
Sirius: I swear I'm not a crazed stalker who will shave off your eyebrows. So, when is our date?
Padfoot, I don't think this girl is going to give up.
Yeah she wants you bad, Padfoot.
I can't imagine why, just look at his ugly face, why would anyone want to go out with that?
Now lets see, im booked up with dates until 15th of August.
That's a month away!
How can so many girls want to go out with you?
See I've been saying this all along, they want my body, they think im sexy.
Remus, how can you be friends with that shallow prick?
They must be blinded by my beauty.
More like blinded by your hideousness.
Moonpie, we all no you think im gorgeous.
Yeah yeah, you're an oil painting.
I knew you liked me.
I can't believe im having this discussion with one of my best friends.
I'm one of your best friends? Oh im so touched!
Way to be sarcastic.
Sirius - which one of your cousins do you find the most attractive?
Oh, what a choice Bellatrix or Narcissa? There both beautiful.
Isn't Andromeda his cousin too?
Yeah, she's the nicest, I'll pick Andromeda.
Snivellus would pick Bellatrix.
Or Narcissa, their both Slytherin SCUM!
Is that all you talk about? Slytherins and your sex life?
Pretty much, my sex life is a very interesting topic, thank you very much.
Have you dated a girl for more than a week?
No, four days is my limit.
I'll give you five galleons if you can stay with a girl for more than two weeks-
Your on, I'll just go and find Katie, she'll stay with me even if I cheat on her.
WITHOUT CHEATING ON HER!
Ooer that going to be pretty hard, I don't want to ruin my reputation.
What? For being the biggest man slut?
Exactly.
Thanks for reading! :)
I think I might end this fic after a couple more chapters, as some people have said that the jokes are getting too old, so I don't want you to find this fic boring. But what do you think? Are the jokes getting to old? Do you find it boring? It's totally up to you, if you want me to keep writing this I will, as personally I love writing it! :)
Please review. :)