This is the final chapter in this story. Please forgive the mistakes since I still have not located a new Beta. Anyone reading this that might be interested please contact me. I have begun fleshing out my next story which will take place sometime after this one. Of course normal things apply here; Torchwood nor any of characters do not belong to me. Would be proud to own any of

them ! J Please take a moment to tell me how you liked or disliked this story. Thanks for Reading!

The clock ticks away the minutes and before he realizes it, he must leave to go and meet with Gwen. He straightens his shirt puts on his coat and checks himself one last time in the mirror. He notices the gray has continued to spread from his sideburns and into his hair. He wonders if he should try to cover it, and then shakes his head shrugs and walks away. Heading for the garage he reaches it too quickly and hesitates before finally getting into one of the SUV's starting it up and driving away. Looking at the vehicles clock he knows he has plenty of time to get there. Lots of things begin running through his mind, he starts rehearsing what he will say to Gwen, but nothing seems right. There is nothing he can say that will compete with Gwen's wrath.

As he turns off the highway he sees his destination then looks for a parking space nearby and after finding one parks the SUV turns it off then just sits in the car and stares not really wanting to get out. The café he is meeting them at is just across the street and sitting at one of the outdoor tables he can see Gwen, Rhys, and a small child. They are talking, smiling, the little boy is laughing. He doesn't want to disturb them they seem so content but he knows he must do this so he swallows the rock hard lump in his throat then opens the door gets out and walks slowly across the street. Rhys sees him first and stands up; Gwen who is playing with the child turns to see him and stands there staring the child placed on her hip.

Jack, who was slouching slightly mostly from a feeling of global size dread, stands up straight trying to change his demeanor by at least looking happy to see her, though deep inside he is longing for Gwen's forgiveness but he knows he must see this through he must stick to the plan. He is so afraid he can barely speak, but he does manage to eke out the words he is beaming as he speaks. "Hello Gwen, Rhys, and who is this little guy?" He looks at the child pats him on the head and smiles. "Good to see both of you, you are looking good Gwen."

Gwen speaks sounding exasperated, "Jack none of that," Her Welsh accent overpowering her words.

"What can't a fellah even say hello to a couple old friends?" Jack is laying it on thick he even flashes those beautiful blue eyes at her.

It didn't faze Gwen at all she looks directly at him speaking very calmly and quietly. "Hello Jack, been awhile hasn't it, as if you actually care, this (she hugs the child) is RJ Rhys Junior." Gwen pulls him in tight to her as if Jack was going to steal him from her. Jack just reaches over and pats the boy on the back and smiles at him again.

Rhys who steps in and interrupts this not so happy reunion speaks loudly. "Hey Jack not been long enough and if I didn't have a child here I'd tell you exactly how I feel about seeing you again." Rhys was always one to say what he thought. Jack always liked that about him.

Gwen, though she would actually like to see Rhys deck him, decides it's probably not a good thing for the child to witness so she hands RJ over to him," Rhys take RJ and go over to the playground I will join you shortly."

"Gwen I can't leave you here with him. He might try something."

"Exactly what might I try Rhys?"

"I don't know you have always been a tricky bugger." He sneers at him.

She steps between the two men. "I will be fine; now take him across the street." He sets RJ down takes him by the hand and leads him over to the playground. Once they are far enough away Gwen turns back to Jack and angrily slaps him very hard across the face. Jacks looks surprised rubbing his stinging face. Gwen begins yelling " How could you Jack, how could you leave us to clean up your mess and then just disappear like that. We had no idea what was happening to you. What you didn't think the losses hurt all of us? I was with child; you think you might want to know that both of us are alright." She continues yelling at him waving her arms and pointing at him.

He wants to tell her he did know that she was alright it's the first thing he did when he came back. He checked on her found out where she was what she was doing even went to see her to make sure she was happy. He never cared much for Rhys, but he had to admit he was a good father and husband. Yes he did care and yes he did check on her he just didn't let anyone know he was doing it. He should tell her he should speak up, but he can't. His heart is dissolving slowly in his chest the pain excruciating. He wants to hug her, no needs to hold her to explain everything to her to ease her mind to comfort her but he can't. He knows what he must do even though it is destroying him inside.

She rambles on "I had to start all over without you. You think it was easy for me, pregnant, out of a job and all this time passes and we here nothing from you. Rhys was hoping maybe somehow you had died and now I think maybe you should have. She shoves him hard in the chest. Dammit Jack you left me!" She shoves him again, he stumbles backwards. "How could you just leave me like that, did I mean nothing to you?" She shoves him once more but this time he trips over the leg of the chair and falls clumsily to the ground with a hard thud. Angry now he shoots back up brushes himself off and speaks very calmly but firmly "Yes Gwen I left you, I felt I had too. You are for some reason under the assumption that I have no heart, no feelings, that death means nothing too me. You couldn't be more wrong. Over the years I have had to watch as everyone I have ever loved die before me. Many times I held them in my arms and watch helpless to do anything. I have sacrificed everything for the sake of saving humanity and for what? I was so grief stricken and ashamed of my actions that I could not bear to look at you. I could see the disapproval in your face. I truly believed that if I stayed the next person I would have to watch die would be you. I felt to protect you I had to leave and never come back and that somehow would keep you safe."

"That's crazy Jack you can't always be around to keep me safe. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

"Yes I know but by me leaving it was a good way to decrease your chances of getting killed. The people I love keep dying; Tosh, Owen, Ianto, Steven, all dead because of me. So I left vowing to never to return, I would put it all behind me, I would never return to Earth and would never truly love anyone ever again. Then the world would be safe from me and I from it. "

There is no sympathy or pity from Gwen her rage powers on. "No one is safe from you Jack you are infectious; you get in the bloodstream and remain there forever like an incurable disease." Her eyes flash angrily." You are like deaths brother whenever you are around the bodies start piling up. I came here today to see you one final time so I could personally tell you to stay away from me and especially from my family because you are right Jack you bring nothing but death and destruction to those around you and I want to keep my family safe."

He closes his eyes takes a deep breath and suppresses the urge to turn and run. He takes a deep breath and forces back the tears. He must do this, he must. "I understand how you feel Gwen. I felt I had lost everyone and everything important to me. I was so distraught I had to run and hide to bury myself in a hole and hope I could just stay there forever. I found that hole then I crawled into the bottom of a bottle diving in to a drunken stupor and was content to be there. I cared about nothing and no one as I swam in self-pity making my own hell. I would still be there if someone hadn't introduced me to this remarkable young man." He could help but smile as he spoke. "He has great wisdom far beyond his years. It was his inspiration that made me crawl out of that hole. As we sat next to each other talking he noticed I was unhappy about something. He wanted to know what was so bad that I had to try to drown my sorrows; so I told him my story I told him everything that happened to me; spurred on by the demon drink unabashed I left nothing out. He heard the whole story listening intently then afterwards he said something so prophetic to me that it made my heart spring back to life. He said that I wasn't the bringer of death but the guardian of life. I was looking a little confused so he explained it to me. You can't stop loving people just because they might die and if they do die it's not always going to be your fault. That no matter what you do or don't do people will die; it's how living works. Then he explained how I had brought life not to just a few people, but to whole worlds. He recalls the stories I told him of building the hub and putting the team together of how I brought out the best in them and how they would never have gotten the chance to become heroes by saving the world many times over. How through everything no matter the odds or how bad things got that I should continue to keep on saving the world, not just for me, but for all those that died trying to help me. I didn't understand at first, but he's a brilliant young man and as we delved into my past there was one thing that I always seem to come back to, and that was the need to protect this world. No matter where I travel who I meet or what I do I always come back to Earth it really is my home. Now here I am standing before you allowing you to dictate who I am and to judge me for my crimes. I am not the only one here who committed crimes you are not so innocent. I know someday I am bound to meet my maker and he will judge me and decide my punishment. Until that time I will continue to protect this world. I will live and I will love and unfortunately I will suffer great losses. Again and again my heart will be broken but I will persevere. I will also respect your wishes and stay away from you and your family. Gwen I love you, I don't expect you to understand and I will not beg for your forgiveness; now I am done I have nothing more to say to you. You should go to Rhys and RJ; love them, care for them, protect them but mostly keep them the hell away from me."

Jack turns away and hurriedly walks back to the car once he is inside he looks across the street to see Gwen talking to Rhys and crying. She doesn't see the tears forming in his eyes, or the streams of them that start flowing down his cheeks as he starts the car and drives off never looking back. He had to do it he needed to break the ties between them; she had a new life now that didn't include him. She would hate him for it but that's the only way he was certain she would stay away from Torchwood. He had to leave her angry and hurt. He kept on driving not really caring where he was going or what direction he was headed. He drove through the night until he reached a point that he couldn't drive any further. He had driven himself to a parking lot right at the edge of the sea shore. He got out of the car and stood on the beach looking out into the depths of the ocean. Speaking aloud not caring who might hear. "I am so sorry Steven if I had any other choice I would have taken it. Ianto, there has never been nor will there ever be another man like you. Tosh, Owen, all of you, please forgive me." Just then he heard something in his pocket chiming. It was his phone he had forgotten it was in there. He puts on his earpiece and taps the button to answer it. He heard the familiar whine of Alonso's voice it was very comforting to him. He has grown to love that little whine, whenever Al was excited or angry it always came out. Jack thought it was endearing.

Alonso talking very fast, "Jack are you alright, I have been calling for hours Gwen said you left shortly after meeting with her. She was pretty upset."

"Yes I am alright, I am sorry I didn't call I didn't mean to worry you. I am fine and sorry about Gwen. Everything is good here I am at the sea shore." He sounds almost robotic frightening Al even more.

Frantic his voice raises, "Sea Shore, what sea shore?"

"I don't know I am not really sure it's a bit fuzzy on how I got here but I will figure it out and be back there soon."

"Are you sure you are alright Jack," He says with great concern in his voice.

"I will be fine now there is no need to worry."

He did worry. "Okay I will try not to worry. Be careful driving back", he hesitates, "and Jack, I love you."

"Yes I will be careful and I love you too Al. See you soon, bye." As he disconnects the phone he realized for the first time in a very long time that he'd said those words; freely, easily, without fear, without doubt. He did love Alonso and he would until the day Al died. He didn't know when or how only that it was sure to happen but it really doesn't matter to him because until then; he will love, him cherish him, and be thankful for the time he has with him. As he stood there watching the waves wash over the sand; the sun reflecting off the water giving it the look of diamonds, he thought of all those who he had loved and lost and was grateful to have had the chance to be with them. A sense of calm flows over him as he reaches over and picks up a hand full of warm sand the tiny grains seeping through his fingers he can try to hold on to them but sooner or later they slip through. He turns his hand sideways letting the last of the sand fall to the ground smiles and walks back to the SUV. He's looking forward to being with Al he is excited about going back, now all he needs to do is figure out where the hell he is at.

Thank you again for reading, and please do review.