Chapter Five
The blaring spring sunlight was piercing through the curtains, there were dirty dishes stacked sky high and old take-away containers scattered everywhere – basically the flat was a mess. Ste was still in bed trying to avoid looking at the time when Noah started calling…
"Ste get up!" (He pulled the covers back to reveal Ste's semi naked body)
"Leave me." (He kicked Noah away from the bed and pulled the covers back over)
"You're going to be late for work at this rate. But fine if you just want to lie in bed all day…" (He turned to walk away hoping that it would encourage Ste to get up)
"Ugh fine!" (Ste kicked the covers off and got up) "You are so irritating!" (He stared at Noah who gave a smile of achievement and walked out of the room)
Ste got dressed into his work clothes, brushed his teeth, combed and styled his hair and then went into the kitchen for some breakfast.
"How are you today?" (Noah was making coffee in a weak attempt of gaining Ste's forgiveness)
"Ok." (He was lying through his teeth)
"Good because I thought we could go out tonight?" (He held Ste's hands and stood on his tiptoes like a schoolgirl with exciting news)
"I would love to but…"
"You're working? Typical."
"I'm sorry it's just with Brendan in hospital and Cheryl staying with him most nights there isn't anyone else who can do the shifts." (He looked pleadingly at Noah trying to make him see his dilemma)
"No Ste I'm the one who should be sorry I know it has been hard at work since the accident. I just feel like we never have any time together anymore. You know all work and no play – and I like play." (He put his hands gently on Ste hips and pulled him closer. Ste pulled away leaving Noah feeling rejected)
"I'll see ya later, we can talk then." (He left)
As he walked to the club Ste seemed dazed and numb, he had been like this for the last two months since the accident and there were no signs of change. The village felt bland and lifeless to him now that Brendan wasn't here and nothing- not even Noah's exhilarating 'nights out' could help him overcome that sense of loneliness he felt surging through his body. Work was the same. There was nobody their looking over him, criticising him, telling him to work faster or making jokes about his small, unchiselled body. There was no Brendan! He filled all these gaping holes that Ste had and now he was gone there was nothing that came close to replacing him.
Ste was working the late shift one night when he got a phone call.
"Hi Ste it's Conal."
"Oh hi Conal, what's wrong" (Fear was sweeping over him causing his body to become tense)
"Nothing's wrong, it's just they are going to take Brendan off life support tomorrow and I want you to be there." (He sounded ecstatic as he relayed the news to Ste)
Silence
"Ste, Ste are you there?" (Conal's voice became more concerned with every passing second of silence)
"Yeah I'm here, I just can't believe it that's all. When are they going to do it?" (His tone of voice started to change into something more positive)
"Twelve."
"Ok I'll be there."
"Thanks Ste that means a lot."
"It's ok. See ya tomorrow." (He put the phone down)
Ste, without looking, slowly lowered himself down onto a bar stool behind him as he stared into the distance contemplating the conversation he had just had. Brendan, Brendan was going to be awake for the first time in just over two months! He then had the sudden realisation that he would have to tell Noah and he knew he wasn't going to be happy. Noah hadn't liked Ste visiting Brendan in the hospital and he got shirty every time he did so Ste stopped to avoid confrontations, but he wasn't going to miss this not for Noah or for anyone.
At the hospital Ste walked along the large, spacious corridors like he had done before, past the same old reception desk, X-Ray, outpatient's areas and the café until he got to the entrance of Intensive Care. He stood for a while, willing himself to press the buzzer and when he did the same, familiar woman's voice answered.
"Hello?"
"Hi it's Ste Hay; I'm here to see Brendan." (He waited anxiously for a reply)
"I'll buzz you in."
On the other side of the same heavy doors, which didn't seem to get any lighter, Conal was standing talking to the doctor.
"Oh Ste you're here."
"Yeah sorry I'm late I got lost" (He was barefaced lying as he knew the way to Intensive Care like the back of his hand)
"It's ok you're just in time, come on." (Conal led him through the same double doors into the same room like before where a group of people were standing.)
"Ah you must be Mr Hay?" (The man's voice was deep and somewhat reassuring – "like a proper doctor" Ste thought to himself)
"Yeah I am, and who are you?" (His tone was defensive)
"Ste this is Mr Parker, the anaesthetist who is going to wake Brendan up." (He gave a sharp look at Ste so as to make him regret his tone)
"Oh right, sorry."
"No need. Now shall we." (He gestured towards Brendan's room and everyone followed on behind)
As they walked through Ste's body burned with anticipation. He saw Brendan lying in the same bed, in the same lifeless position he had maintained for the last two months. The doctors and nurses surrounded Brendan's bed as they discussed what they were going to do. Ste and Conal could only hear faint whispers of medical jargon which meant nothing – so they stopped straining their ears trying to make sense of it.
"Ok gentlemen we are ready to extubate."
Both men stayed perfectly still as the watched the delicate procedure. Firstly they injected Brendan with an anti-sedation drug, next they reduced the amount of oxygen the ventilator supplied until it reached a very low level; meaning it was safe to remove the tube from Brendan's mouth. The nurse waited for Mr Parker's instructions whilst Conal and Ste waited with baited breath, when he gave the signal the nurse undid the tube connector allowing Mr Parker to slide the tube out of Brendan's mouth. Brendan coughed and spluttered as he gasped for breath. The nurse quickly placed an oxygen mask over his mouth to relieve his discomfort – then she turned to Ste and Conal.
"He still very weak and his voice may take some time to return but he is able to hear and see you." (She smiled as if it was one of the perks of the job, then she left to give all three men some space.)
"Brendan…" (Conal rushed over to his bedside to hold his hand.) "We are so glad you are ok!" (He gestured to Ste to come over and talk to Brendan.)
Ste approached the bed with caution as he was unsure what to expect. A few weeks ago he and Conal were told to consider turning off the life support and now Brendan was breathing on his own! If Ste needed anymore reassurance in his life never to trust authority – this was it.
"I'm glad you're ok Brendan, work has been a nightmare without you!" (Both Conal and Ste produced a smile which made the situation a whole lot less tense)
Brendan moved his arm away from Conal's making him feel slightly rejected however he didn't let it show.
"Conal should I go?"
(Conal turned around) "Why do you ask that?"
"Cos I thought you two would want your space that's all."
Before Conal could answer Brendan was limply flicking his left hand towards the door as a signal for Ste to leave. Ste got the message and left. Conal and Brendan were alone. Hours passed without either of them moving or saying a word until the nurse came round with dinner.
"Here you are Mr O'Malley." (She placed the tray of dinner which was shepherd's pie on the table.)
"Thanks." (He looked unenthusiastically at the plate)
"So has he said anything yet?"
"No but I am hoping he will soon." (His voice was anything besides hopeful and the nurse sensed this)
"It takes time to recover from something as serious as this so try and be patient." (Her voice was soft and understanding)
"Yeah I know - thanks."
"It's my job Mr O'Malley." (She smiled, put her hand briefly on Conal's shoulder and left the room)