Chapter nine

Seven long draining weeks had passed since Brendan and Conal said their farewells and Brendan was still slowly deteriorating. He hadn't spoken since Conal left, Cheryl had tried to engage him in a conversation however nothing seemed to work and she was running out of ideas. Ste had resisted going to see Brendan after a run-in with Noah about it but he knew that he would have to face it sooner rather than later.

It was late one afternoon and Cheryl had just come back from the hospital to pick up something from the club when Ste stopped her…

"Hi Cheryl how are you?" (He tried to sound positive)

"Oh Ste… (She hung her head in Ste's arms and started to cry)

Ste returned with a comforting cuddle.

"How is he?"

"Not well. The doctors…they said that the window of opportunity is nearly closed."

Ste sat with Cheryl cradled in his arms with his hand gently rubbing her back in an attempt to soothe her and his pain.

"I just can't make him see, he won't listen to anyone."

"I wish there was something I could do Cheryl."

At that moment Cheryl rose from Ste's shoulder, wiped her tears and turned to face Ste.

"There is."

"Anything."

"Can you talk to him?"

Ste's face froze. How could he go and see him after what he said to him the last time? He was a complete bitch.

"Please love, it would mean the world to him." (Her voice was desperate as she practically begged Ste)

"Ok, I'll go." (He got up from his stool and Cheryl gave him a huge hug)

"Thank you."

Ste, once again, made his way slowly down the large, spacious corridors past the reception desk, X-Ray, outpatient areas and the café until he reached the same old daunting doors at the entrance of Intensive Care. He pushed the buzzer harder and with more meaning than ever before and the wait for a reply seemed to last an eternity. The once heavy doors became feather-light as Ste was on a mission, the mission he promised himself to complete – save Brendan Brady!

Brendan was looking out the window onto the world when Ste walked into the room.

"You know if you have the surgery you could be out there sooner than you think, enjoying life rather than just enduring it until your time comes."

Brendan looked round to see Ste, standing in a beam of sun, looking almost Godlike. His gaze met Brendan's and both men seemed to connect once more without the need for words.

"What ye doing here Steven?" (He desperately tried to hide his delight however it was immediately apparent to Ste)

"Not pleased to see me then?"

"It depends if you're here to talk?"

"No I'm just here to be with you while I can." (He smiled and sat on the chair next to Brendan's bed)

"Steven I'm sorry for before I was being my usual inconsiderate self, can you forgive me?"

"Of course I can. The question is can you forgive me?"

"For what?"

"For not considering your feelings and wishes."

"They're not the easiest to be considerate of, I accept that."

"Brendan I am not here to disapprove I told you that." (His voice was soft and caring)

"Yeah sorry it's just something I do."

"It's ok."

"Ah." (Brendan's face was screwed up in pain)

"Brendan? Are you ok, do you want me to call the doctor?" (Concern swept over Ste's face and rendered him motionless)

"Na, the doctor said it would be like this, you know – towards the end."

Both men flushed at the reality of the situation before them, unable to offer any words of comfort at this moment.

"Please don't hate me Steven."

"I don't and never will." (His voice was serious)

Time passed, the two men sat chatting and watching telly. It was like for a few hours they seemed to forget the reality of coming events and just lived in the moment.

"Brendan?"

"Yeah Steven."

"Are you sure about this?"

"About dying?"

Ste flinched and then nodded.

"I don't want to be a burden Steven."

"That isn't answering my question."

"I just want my family and friends to have a life, free from caring for me ye know."

"Are you avoiding me?"

Brendan looked awkwardly out of the window however Ste pressed on with the matter.

"Brendan you are completely sure this is what you want right?" (He leaned into Brendan, looking deeply into his eyes)

Brendan sighed and hung his head in shame.

"Steven I know what it is like to care for someone who can't do anything for themselves – it's draining." (He kept his head looking down)

"Who are you talking about?" (He was deeply intrigued by this piece of information as Brendan was very secretive about his private life before moving to the village)

"My mum…"

"Go on…"

"She was in a wheelchair and I looked after her until it became too much."

"What happened?" (Ste was patient and understanding which made Brendan feel at peace telling him about his childhood)

"School found out and took me away from her, I had to go live with my dad and I hated it." (His face seemed to display something that Ste had never seen before – vulnerability)

"So where is she now?"

"She died a few years ago – she lived in a home."

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok, I've dealt with it." (He was lying through his teeth, something Brendan did as naturally as breathing)

Brendan went to sleep for a few hours and Ste took a walk around the hospital. He was still contemplating the revelations of Brendan's past and how it has affected his presence, principles and decision to die. He made his way back to Brendan's room to find him talking to the doctor.

"Ok Mr Brady and you understand the procedure?"

"Yeah I understand."

"Good the nurse will be along in a few minutes to prep you for theatre."

Ste came over to Brendan who was signing a piece of paper.

"Hey, you ok?"

"Yeah I'm just signing the consent form."

"For the surgery?"

"Yeah."

"What changed your mind?"

"My mum never gave up and I would be dishonouring her if I did. She fought to the bitter end and that's what I shall do!"

"I'm glad to hear it."

"Will ye come with me?"

"Where?"

"To the operating theatre."

"Yeah, course." (He smiled and Brendan smiled back)

At that moment the nurse with the team of anaesthetists came in to the room…

"Are you ready Mr Brady?"

"Yeah."

As the moved Brendan's bed down the corridor Ste grasped Brendan's hand and held it tight. It felt like the walk lasted hours as both men feared for what was to come. The doctor had told them that there was only a twenty percent chance of clearing the infection fully now that it had been left to develop, however he did seem positive that they were doing the surgery just in time.

When they reached the anaesthetic room Brendan was shaking. Ste held his hand close to his chest for reassurance which seemed to steady Brendan's nerves slightly.

"Please may we have your hand Mr Brady" (He gestured to Ste's hand)

"Oh yeah sorry." (Ste let go and moved back to let the anaesthetists work, looking slightly embarrassed and awkward)

"Would you like to say goodbye." (He looked at Ste)

"No I'll say see ya later."

"Wait! Steven will you do something for me?"

"Yeah anything?"

"Promise you will be here when I wake up – I mean as more than just a friend."

Ste moved over to Brendan, leaned in and kissed him lightly on the forehead.

"I thought you'd never ask." (He smiled)

As Brendan fell asleep Ste was ushered out of the room with a distinct feeling of victory. He had not only saved Brendan Brady but he had finally got exactly what he wanted – mission accomplished!