Chapter 4
"Aaaah!" Amanda's startled gasp punctured the quietness of her bedroom as she awoke with a start. Bolting upright, she clutched the v-neck of her nightgown, expecting to come face to face with Lee. He had called her name - she was sure of it. The crescendo of her labored breathing gradually rose in volume before fading into silence.
The moonless night lent its protective cover to anyone who might be hovering in her room, under the cloak of darkness. With a long reach, she cautiously clicked on the bedside lamp, allowing her eyes to adjust before she scanned every corner of the room. There was no one. Listening intently, she tried to identify the source of her summons.
The only sounds she could discern were the distant hum of traffic far away on Glebe Road and the knocking in the heat vent when the furnace kicked on. All her fears were nothing more then a repeat performance of similar nightmares she'd had for three nights. The basic plot was always the same - Lee was alone, and he needed her.
She glanced nervously at the digital clock. The large red numbers announced the late hour of eleven-thirty. The whole household should be asleep. Just the same, she wanted to check on her children. Gingerly maneuvering her legs to the side of the mattress, she winced at the lingering discomfort from her accident. Strained muscles and a stiff neck still hampered her usual agility. Even though she'd been home from the hospital for several days, she hadn't gotten back into her usual routine.
Thankful for the cushion of the hall carpet that muffled her footsteps, Amanda hesitated at the entrance to the boys' bedroom. She could hear the rustle of covers as Phillip tossed and turned. He always had been a restless sleeper. As a baby she'd hardly dared to check on him for fear he would pop awake.
"Mom?" Phillip's changing youthful voice startled her. How did her little boy make it to the threshold of adolescence so quickly?
"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I didn't mean to disturb you." Amanda moved to straighten his covers and smooth a lock of hair from his forehead. He pulled back slightly, reminding her that he was too big to be babied.
"It wasn't you, Mom. I'm just having trouble sleeping."
Uninvited, she took a seat at the end of the single bed, careful not to encroach on his long legs. "What's troubling you, Phillip?"
"I don't know exactly. I've been lying here listening to Bozo scratch in his sleep. I think he has the hives again. He always seems to get them when Dad comes home."
"Please don't call your brother, Bozo." Amanda made a mental note to call the pharmacy in the morning and order some Benadryl. "Sweetheart, are you okay with your Dad being around us so much? I know his visit has been an adjustment."
The boy hesitated for a beat, just long enough for her to sense his doubts. "It's okay, I guess. I know Dad really loves seeing us, and it's been great to do things with him, but . . ."
"But, what, Phillip?"
Throwing his legs over the side of the bed, he moved to sit next to his mother. A nervous snap of his knuckles proceeded the high pitched squeal of his youthful confession. "Mom, it really bugs me when Dad gets on my case. He's been riding me about my grades. Would you ask him to back off a little?"
A soft sigh perforated the space between them. Her son's concerns had somehow fallen through the cracks of the disjointed household.
"Oh, Phillip. I'm sorry. In all the confusion, I didn't notice. I'll speak to him when you guys are at school." Amanda placed a hand on the bony knee that poked through the worn fabric of his pajamas. "You know, sweetheart, your father is very proud of you. However, he sometimes forgets that report cards don't begin to measure your many talents."
"Yeah, but Dad gets more exited over Jamie's straight "A" report card than he does over my three goals in a soccer match."
"Believe me, he's thrilled with his star athlete, too. Just remember, your father loves you both very much." Amanda smiled and rose to go. "Everything will be fine, Phillip. I promise. Now try to get some sleep."
Placing a quick kiss on his forehead, she moved across the room to check on Jamie. The sound of fingernails scrapping tender flesh prompted her to tuck the hands of her youngest child into the folds of the quilt. With a gentle squeeze of his arm, she stepped into the doorway. "Goodnight, Phillip."
"Night, Mom. Thanks."
Sighing deeply, Amanda made her way back to bed, wondering why her life was going through such a rough patch. Her happy home and fulfilling job had taken a direct hit in recent days. Even worse, her relationship with Lee was in shambles.
The oppressive silence of the bedroom only served to heighten her uneasiness. What once sufficed as a place of refuge, now loomed like a barren wasteland of exile. Propping up on her pillows, she prepared to while away the desolate hours with worry, until her body could finally succumb to exhausted sleep.
How could she feel so abandoned and disconnected in the midst of her loved ones? Everybody had been incredibly supportive since the car accident, pampering her royally with flowers, books, and a TV in her room. What's more, her leave of absence from work afforded her precious extended time at home. Like Mother and the boys, she relished Joe's return, temporary as it may be, to the bosom of the family. Long separations couldn't negate his importance and contribution to their well-being. Despite the frightening ordeal of his path home, it was wonderful to welcome him back.
But at what cost? Had a blossoming friendship been brought to its knees at the altar of an extinguished flame? Had she sacrificed the trust of a cherished colleague and companion to worship old devotions? While she reveled in her past romance and loyalty to Joe, her best friend had been left out of the celebration.
The moment Mr. Melrose announced, "Scarecrow is on the case," Amanda knew in her heart that Lee would be hurt by Joe's return. Every instinct told her the tentative flirtations of their special friendship were too new and fragile to withstand the tidal wave of Joe King surging into their unsuspecting secret world.
She'd rarely mentioned her ex-husband and failed marriage to anyone in the work place. Lee had never tried to pry - at least not until he was placed in charge of Joe's investigation. Then, all of a sudden, Scarecrow, the agent, needed facts, feelings and explanations. It was too personal and disconcerting. She wasn't ready to expose her foibles to her colleague, much less have him journey through her intimate memories of young love.
As the threesome traveled through the Georgetown campus and community, they'd been the picture of a devoted couple with a tag along extra. They were an unfortunate triangle, and Lee Stetson was the odd one out.
Lee. No words could describe how much she missed him. It felt like her heart and soul had taken flight since he'd vacated her life. The anger from their heated argument had long since dissipated - at least on her part. She was more than ready to own up to her participation in the blow-up.
The fury in his hazel eyes still haunted her. She'd hurt him terribly and then admonished him for acting out his injured feelings. He was a deeply sensitive man. Dedicated study, in the school of Stetson anger management, had taught her to step lightly when he careened out of control. She'd honed her skills for years, learning how to sooth the savage beast that guarded the gate to his fragile emotions.
True, he'd behaved outrageously when he barged over to her house with his hot temper. But she'd only made things worse by avoiding him after he'd stormed off her patio. Now he was gone, by choice or necessity, and she had no clue to his whereabouts. Her absence from work had left her totally out of the loop. Mr. Melrose's only exception to the Agency's need-to-know policy had been a brief visit to the hospital. In as few words as possible, he'd inferred Lee was overseas on assignment.
Despite the warmth of her down comforter, a chilling premonition shook her slender frame. Trouble was stalking Lee Stetson, and Amanda knew it with every fiber of her being. She sensed her partner was in over his head. He needed her to watch his back. Somehow, Lee's thoughts were reaching across time and space - alerting her finely tuned instincts to his ominous situation. Rubbing the goose bumps that dotted her flesh, she reached a firm decision. At dawn's first light she would call Mr. Melrose and request a return to active duty. Then she would call for a doctor's appointment to get a medical clearance for work. Before the week was out, she wanted her secret life back.
SMK-SMK-SMK
Amanda kept a wary eye on Joe as she cleared away the dinner dishes from the table. She would be returning to work tomorrow, but, so far, had put off announcing her plans. The conversation had simmered on the back burner for days, while she waited for the perfect moment to open the necessary discussion.
It hadn't been an easy week for anyone. Joe's daily presence had started to wear on her nerves and, she suspected, on the rest of the family, too. She was grateful for the stability he brought to the boys' lives while she was in the hospital. However, as soon as she came home, she felt a familiar friction igniting past issues between them.
They were playing the old tapes that had been a persistent irritant to them in their marriage. Joe wanted to be the head of the household, and he took it for granted that Amanda needed him to make all the family decisions. She could only hope he would soon make definite plans about his future and get on with his life.
Joe's "take charge" style may have served him well in Estoccia, but it quickly met resistance when he tried to regiment the boys' lives. Phillip and Jamie found it confusing that their fun Dad, who usually pampered them on short visits, could really be a strict parental figure when they had to live in such close proximity. She'd tactfully pointed out the strain it put on the boys, especially Phillip, but Joe only seemed hurt by her observations. Just the same, he promised to go easier on their oldest son when it came to his grades.
"What's the matter, sweetheart?" Joe's sudden appearance startled her out of her reverie. Somehow, he'd managed to silently materialize at her side, carrying his coffee mug and the financial section of the "Washington Post."
Taking her hands out of the dish water, she wiped the moisture from her skin and rolled down the sleeves of her favorite red plaid shirt. "Oh, I was just thinking it may be time for a talk this evening. Now that mother has left on her date and the boys have settled in their room, this looks like the best opportunity."
"You make it sound so serious." Joe put an arm around her waist and guided her to the living room. Positioning himself beside her, he smiled warmly, the laugh lines near his temples crinkling into his endearing grin. "What's troubling you, sweetheart?"
Amanda blew out a breath, trying to brace herself for a disagreement. Here goes, she thought. "Joe, I want to talk to you about my job. I've decided to return to work tomorrow."
He reached out to claim her hand. "So, soon? Did the doctor say it's okay?"
"Yes, the doctor says I've healed enough to return to work." She bit her lip as she watched the disappointment spread across his features.
"Well, what a let down," Joe said in clear frustration. "Now that you're feeling better, I hoped we could get out and do something special - just the two of us."
"Something special?" Amanda closed her eyes when she guessed the direction of her ex-husband's thoughts. He obviously was hoping to rekindle the old spark between them. "Joe, I don't think it's appropriate for us to be doing special things as a twosome."
"I see." His curt response said it all. "You'd rather go back to a boring secretarial job than spend quality time with me." He sagged against the sofa, rejection written all over his face. "I thought our time together would be a great opportunity to rethink our relationship."
"You mean our divorce?" Seeing his slight nod acknowledge her assumption, she quickly squelched any illusions he might be harboring. "I'm sorry, sweetheart, but it's not what I want anymore."
Joe looked away, sadness evident in his eyes. "I'd always hoped that some day, when I was ready to give up the traveling, well, maybe we could give our relationship another try."
Amanda sighed. How typical of her ex-husband. Apparently, he harbored fantasies of the devoted housewife, waiting and willing to restart their marriage when he finally decided to settle down. "I've changed, sweetheart. We've both changed. Life goes on."
"I suppose that means there's no going back." His words were thick with regret.
She tightened her hold on his hand. "Sweetheart, do you remember our talk at Dooley's? You asked me if I wanted to go back, and I said I wanted to go forward with my life." Waiting for Joe to nod in understanding, she pushed on. "You know, I'm not the timid, naïve housewife you left behind. I've built a new life for myself - one that brings me a great deal of personal satisfaction."
Joe looked skeptical. "Just what is this new life you've built? I know you do secretarial work for IFF, and I'm proud that you're taking outside responsibility. But I would hardly refer to part-time typing and filing as moving on with your life."
"Well, thank you for your vote of confidence." Amanda bit back a stronger retort.
Joe looked at her in confusion. "Okay, Amanda, there's more to this conversation than meets the eye. What are you holding back? Is there someone in your life you aren't telling me about?"
She was shocked that Joe could still read her so well. Nervously tracing the floral pattern on the sofa cushion, she pondered what to say next. "I don't know how you could ask that, Joe. Have you seen a man in my life?"
"A-man-da," Joe said with a short laugh. "Every time you answer a question with a question, I know you're hiding something. Now, who is the lucky man that convinced you to move on with your life?"
"Joe, did you see any man visit me in the hospital? Don't you think, if I had a man in my life, he would care enough to visit me after the accident?" Just saying the words brought tears to her eyes. The one man she wanted to be there for her had left town without saying good-bye.
"Mom." A quiet voice called from the front hallway, interrupting their discussion. "Mom, another man did come to see you."
The words were spoken so softly, Amanda wasn't sure if she'd heard them correctly.
"What?" Joe and Amanda spoke in unison as they turned to find the timid Jamie watching them from the stairs. He clung to the banister for support and nervously glanced toward the second floor, like he planned to flee at the slightest provocation.
"James King," Joe said, in a firm but patient tone. "You know better than to spy on your parents. Your mother and I are having a grown-up conversation, and we need you to go back to bed, right now."
"Yes, sir," The child quickly turned on his heel to head up the stairs.
"No, Jamie, wait." Amanda calmly beckoned to her son. "We aren't angry with you. Just come here, and tell us what you think you saw."
Jamie moved a few steps closer. Ignoring his father, he whispered to his mother, "Mom, I saw the man - the one who was swinging on the rope. He visited you in the hospital."
Joe pulled back in surprise when he apparently overheard the stage whisper. "Son, this is ridiculous." There couldn't have been a man on a rope in the hospital."
"Not the hospital, Dad." The boy's voice gradually rose in volume. "I'm talking about the rope in the gym."
Joe still didn't comprehend what his son was saying. He shot his wife a dubious look as recognition dawned in her mind.
She moved to put an arm around Jamie's shoulders. "You saw the man from the school gym? I assume you're referring to the agent who helped our family. Did he say anything?"
Nodding his head, Jamie looked at his feet as he revealed the rest of his secret. "It was the federal agent. I saw him talking to you in your hospital room, but you were asleep. I think the guy kissed your forehead. Then he turned around and saw me and walked me back to my room. He was really nice, but he asked me not to tell anyone that he was there."
Amanda watched the horror spread across the face of her ex-husband. Ignoring Joe, she hastened to reassure their child. "Thank you. I'm glad you told us. It's an important secret, but one I needed to hear. Now hurry on back to bed, sweetheart. Everything's going to be fine."
Amanda smiled warmly as her eyes followed Jamie's retreat. Inwardly, she felt relief surge through her body. Amazingly, Lee had been there for her, after all.
Jamie was no sooner out of sight when Joe unloaded his frustration. "I can't believe it," he stammered. "I mean the nerve of that agent showing up at the hospital, after I specifically told him to stay away. God, Amanda, you just met the guy, and now he feels free to insert himself into our family business. Did you do something to encourage the attentions of Stetson?"
"Joe, calm down."
"Come to think of it, Amanda King, you never did offer me an explanation about the tension between you and Stetson at Dooley's. You two looked more like a couple breaking up than strangers who just met."
"Joe, there are things you don't know - that you shouldn't know."
"I just bet. There have been other bizarre occurrences, too. Do you care to tell me why you slid your hand over Stetson's back when we were at his apartment?"
"What?" Amanda shook her head in confusion.
"Don't play dumb with me, Amanda King. I saw you behaving like two sidekicks in his kitchen the night we were together with the Prime Minister. Then you fondly rubbed your hand along Stetson's back when you stepped around him in the living room. Since when did you become so forward with men, or is it just undercover agents you flirt with?"
"That's enough, Joe." She sighed in resignation, realizing the time had come to open up about her secret life. "There's a lot you don't know, but if you'll calm down, I'll tell you what's going on."
"This had better be good." Joe stormed over to the wing-back chair, seating himself as far away from Amanda as he could in the tight confines of the family room.
"Well, Joe, it's hard to know where to begin." Leaning forward she began to speak in hushed tones. "Mr. Stetson visited me in the hospital, because he's my friend."
Joe shook his head in disbelief. "You could have told me you knew the guy."
"Not really. The nature of the investigation made it necessary to keep our friendship a secret. In truth, we've been acquainted for almost three years." She watched Joe's expression change from surprise to annoyance.
"Amanda! What are you doing with a spy? You shouldn't expose the boys to the dangerous world of espionage."
"Joe, I've never introduced the boys or mother to federal agents." Once again, Amanda tried to bite back bitter words without success. "Actually, who I spend time with isn't open to debate."
"But why?" Joe's face tured beet red. "Why would you risk an affair with such a dangerous person?"
"That dangerous person saved our family." Amanda seethed with anger as she fought to keep her temper under control. "And, for the record, I'm not having an affair. Lee and I aren't romantically involved, and he's certainly not my lover."
Joe sighed with obvious relief. "Just the same, Amanda, you must spend time with him, if he's your friend. I can't fathom what would bring you two together."
"Sweetheart, we didn't plan to meet. It was just a fluke." Amanda smiled to herself as she recalled Lee using the same word to describe their first encounter. "I innocently walked into the middle of one of Mr. Stetson's undercover assignments. You could say I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. However, since it was a case that involved national security and the safety of other intelligence operatives, I'm not at liberty to divulge the details."
"National security. Intelligence operatives. You sound pretty well versed about the world of espionage. Next you'll be telling me you're a spy." Joe pinned her with a smoldering look.
Amanda sat silently for a moment, before deciding to tell Joe about the Agency. She hoped Mr. Melrose wouldn't deem her a traitor for coming clean with her ex-husband. At least her boss had already surmised the disclosure might become necessary.
"Joe, you were wrong to think that typing and filing don't constitute moving on with my life." Amanda took a shaky breath, before plunging in with her revelation. "IFF is not just a documentary film company. Actually it's a cover for an elite team of intelligence operatives."
"What?" Joe gasped.
Seeing her chance, Amanda rushed to bring the rest of the story to light. "I may have fallen into the Agency by mistake, but it didn't take me long to realize I could make a contribution to our nation's security. Apparently, Mr. Stetson's boss saw some potential in me. When I handled myself instinctively during the impromptu incident with Lee, Mr. Melrose offered me a job, and I accepted. Of course, I was hired as civilian auxiliary. Typing was my main responsibility."
"And now?"
"I still perform simple low-level tasks, but I have been involved in several undercover assignments."
Joe stared at Amanda in disbelief, but finally found his voice. "Well, you're full of surprises. I wasn't expecting this. Surely you're exaggerating. They most certainly hired you for your typing skills, not for your potential as a spy. I mean what would they want with a suburban housewife with two young children?"
"Indeed." Amanda raised an eyebrow, but held her tongue.
Joe laughed nervously. "You don't have to do anything dangerous, do you?" Alarm flashed across his face. "Sweetheart, you're tied to desk work, aren't you?"
"Not exactly, Joe. Do you remember the little episode in the Georgetown library - you know, when I led you through the avoidance pattern and steered you away from the shooter."
Joe's eyes widened in surprise. "My God," he said, shaking his head in defeat. "The mother of my children has become a trained agent."
"No, I'm not, sweetheart." Amanda cleared her throat as she prepared for more resistance.
"A-man-da, I don't approve of this at all."
Putting her hand up to stop him, Amanda rushed to finish. "I know what you're thinking, but my job isn't usually dangerous. I'm not an actual agent. I don't carry a gun. Lee always insists that I remain out of the line of fire. He also makes sure that our family is protected. Now, please, Joe, you have to promise to keep this a secret for your own safety, the safety of our family, and for the sake of national security. And whatever you do, don't tell my mother!"
To be continued