"You heard me," Jane answers.
"Did she have a reason to think that he got you pregnant?"
"At the time I was convinced that she was insane. She of course was convinced that I was pregnant. When I got back from Atlantic City she was even more convinced."
"Why did she think that in the first place?"
"I got sick on graduation day, and refused to eat her three bean casserole. I told her that she was crazy, and left. She bought a pregnancy test, and it set me over the edge."
"Because?"
"My mother is a nut. I refused to take it."
"So what happened when you got back?"
"She cried, and stayed in bed for three days."
"Because you got married?"
"Because I was throwing my life away with a loser who didn't have a job, and couldn't support me."
"So what made her finally come around?"
"She didn't. I had a fight with Ryan, and went home in the middle of the night sobbing. She didn't say a word. She didn't tell me that I was wrong, or ask for an apology."
"What was the fight about?"
"Mostly it was about my mother."
"He didn't like her?"
"No. What he said should have been a sign, but it wasn't."
"So you got the marriage annulled?"
"After a year."
"A year? Why did you wait so long?"
"Because of my father."
"Your father liked him?"
"No he despised him, but he gave him a job."
"Why? Why didn't he just let him..."
"He thought that he should learn to be responsible."
"So did you go back to him?"
"Unfortunately."
"Why?"
"Because my mother is the most irritating individual on the face of the planet."
"I thought that your mother didn't like him."
"She hated his guts..."
"What changed?"
"She was right."
"Right? About what? Him being a loser?"
"No the other thing," Jane answers.
"What other thing?"
"That's what the fight was about."
"What are you talking about?"
"She was right," Jane repeats numbly, casting her glance to the picture on the table.
"You were pregnant?" Maura whispers.
Jane nods.
Maura points to the picture, "This is her?"
"Yeah."
"But you don't have a kid. What happened?"
"Ryan didn't want to be saddled with a kid, so eventually I kicked him out. I didn't need him in my life. So I moved back in with my parents. I stayed there until she was born. Then I moved into my own apartment."
"You don't have a kid," Maura repeats.
"Do you have any idea how hard it is to go to school, work, and take care of a newborn?"
Maura simply shakes her head.
"I thought that I was going to have to be committed."
"What happened?"
"While I was at work she would stay with my mother. I would get off, and most of the time it would be late at night or early in the morning. I would fall asleep for a while. I would set my alarm so that I could get up with her when she woke up at seven. Of course Ryan wasn't around much. He didn't do much. He might have seen her three, or four times."
"Jane what happened?"
"Peyton was four. One morning I dropped her off to preschool. I had just gotten called in, so I didn't walk her into her classroom. I just dropped her off at the school's entrance. When my mother went to pick her up at noon the teacher said that she never made it into the classroom. I should have taken the time. Maura it was my fault. She was four she..."
"What happened?"
"Witnesses said they saw a green firebird pull up just after I pulled out. He rolled down the window and she got in."
"Who was it?"
"It was Ryan."
"Where did they find her?"
Jane stares at her drink for a moment. She then looks at the picture. Her eyes finally meet Maura's. She takes a deep breath and chokes back tears, "They never did. They found the firebird wrapped around a tree. It caught on fire, but there wasn't anyone inside. They found blood in the seat..."
"Jane why didn't you ever say anything."
"I guess if I pretend that it's not real then it can't be. How could I have let that happen?"
"It wasn't your fault."
"Yes it was. I should have been a better parent. I should have spent more time with her. I should have done more. I should have saved her. Every day for the rest of my life I have to wonder if she's dead or alive. If she's alive and miserable, or if she's lying at the bottom of the river, dead, and has been for eight years."
"Why did he take her?"
"He wanted to see her. He threatened to take me to court, and I told him that he would never see her. I would run away before I'd let him see her."