A/N: I think that if you see the reviews you'll know who she'll end up...I'm all for her not ending up with anyone lol Enjoy and like always review!

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I'd made up my mind... I think deep down I always knew.

I just wanted to try something new and my mind had been clouded by lust.

I hoped that one day he would find it in his heart to forgive me.

Both really.

I'd harm both of them beyond words and believe...and in the process harm myself too.

Can you forgive me again?
I don't know what I said
But I didn't mean to hurt you

I hadn't said anything bad last night... just the truth like he wanted, but somehow that did more than the whole affair.

I didn't mean to hurt Dimitri, I didn't mean to make him cry... I didn't mean to do anything of what I had done.

It was an impulse.

And everyone knew just how impulsive I was.

I wanted him to forgive me.

To actually mean it.

And I wanted Adrian to forgive once more.

This was the second time I did this to him.

It was unforgivable really.

I heard the words come out
I felt that I would die
It hurt so much to hurt you

The moment the words left my mouth I instantly regretted them, the amount of pain that crossed his eyes... was more than I could take.

I saw the my words cut his heart, and I felt it... I felt the pain that I was causing...The pain I had caused.

I don't deserve Adrian.

And I most definitely do not deserve Dimitri.

Then you look at me
You're not shouting anymore
You're silently broken

After the fight, he didn't say anything.

Didn't shout at me.

Didn't do anything.

I watched my Russian God crumple in front of me.

I saw him break in front of my eyes.

I saw him fall to his knees and... sob.

And all because of me.

I'd give anything now
to kill those words for you

If I could go back in time I would take back my words.

And more importantly.

I would take my actions back.

And if it made him happy I would go ahead and kill myself.

Anything to make him forgive me and make him happy.

Each time I say something I regret I cry "I don't want to lose you."
But somehow I know that you will never leave me, yeah.

After every word, after every action that I do or say... I want to take it back.

I don't want to lose him... I want him forever by my side.

But I know that as long as he loves me he will never leave my side.

'Cause you were made for me
Somehow I'll make you see
How happy you make me

And if he forgave me I would show him how much I love him and how much I need him.

And how much we were made for each other.

He was made for me, he understands me, gets me, and believes in me more than I do.

I can't live this life
Without you by my side
I need you to survive

I wouldn't be able to live without him.

And if I can't have him, I rather die.

So stay with me
You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry.

Every time I look him in the eye I tell him 'I'm sorry' and I want to yell it out from a rooftop.

And you forgive me again
You're my one true friend
And I never meant to hurt you

I didn't mean to hurt him.

I didn't want to hurt him.

And I don't want to hurt him anymore.

I want his forgiveness just as much as I love him.

I was born to carry that name.

And under no circumstances will I stop being Mrs. Belikov.