A/N- One million apologise for not updating in so long, I've been busy, lame excuse I know, sorry. Please review.

Description: What if Jess had stayed after Liz's wedding. How will things change with Jess now living in Stars Hollow again?

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls or the characters associated with the show.

A Different View on Reality

Chapter Three: Please don't walk away from me

Over the next few weeks Rory avoided coming back to stars hollow at the weekends because she didn't want to deal with her feelings for Jess, it would all be too hard to figure out, so instead she started going away at the weekends with friends, or meeting her mom and having a weekend away somewhere. Though Lorelai had tried to talk to her about it, she had refused to listen or respond. Now six weeks later she finally got the courage to come back, the decision made almost entirely because she wanted to see Jess, she found that avoiding him made her think about him just as much if not more than when she was around him. So making the decision that she had to deal with it she came home for the weekend and headed straight to the bookstore, finding it empty except for Jess who was leaning against one of the shelves reading one of the books he was suppose to be putting out on the shelves.

'They'll not sell that way.' Rory said nervously, Jess turned to face her putting the book down.

'I thought you'd forgotten your way here.' Jess said dryly.

'You're mad at me?' Rory was annoyed, he didn't have any right to be mad at her, he was the one who'd left not her.

'Nope, the kissing me and running off thing is getting familiar though.' Jess said turning back to his work.

'Why do you get to be mad at me? I was confused and I needed to leave, we weren't together or anything so it's none of your business if I decided to stay away for a while, you hurt me Jess!'

'I know I did and I'm sorry for that, but guess what Rory you're not always the only one getting hurt. Do you think it's easy for me coming back here?'

'Nobody asked you to come back.' Rory shouted.

'No they didn't I made the decision to come back because I love you and I decided that I wanted to see you, even if there couldn't ever be anything between us again, I wanted to come back here because this is the one place where I actually had a grip on reality!' Jess said slamming a book down on the table. 'Then you go and kiss me and suddenly run off and everything feels like it's been ripped out!'

'I didn't mean for it to happen.' Rory said defensively. 'You're messing with my head just as much as I am with yours, every time I see you recently you seem to tell me you love me and I don't know what you're hoping to achieve.'

'I'm not aiming to achieve anything in particular; I just wanted you to know.' Jess shrugged.

'Well I know ok so stop saying it.' Rory leaned against a shelf and slid her back down it until she was sat on the floor. 'This is all so stupid.'

'What is? The fact that we can't seem to talk to each other for more than a minute without it turning into a row.' Jess said grimly, Rory looked up and watched him working for a while trying to work out what she was going to say next.

'So let's try something simpler.' Rory said crossing her legs beneath her. 'What are you reading at the moment?'

'Fathers and Sons.' Jess replied with a smirk.

'Ah a Russian novel, I love that book.' Rory smiled falling into the easy banter that they'd always had, keeping him company until the store closed, then helping him lock up. He switched the lights off leaving them in darkness.

'Please don't walk away from me.' Rory said suddenly looking up at Jess who was lit up by the moonlight.

'Huh?'

'While I try and work this out.' She indicated the two of them. 'Promise you won't leave.'

'I promise.' Jess replied. 'Even though that statement is messing with my head as much as the kiss did.

'I'm sorry about that.' Rory sighed opening the door.

'That's ok, I'm in love with you so you can get away with anything.'

'Jess...' Rory said warningly.

'What you're allowed to come out with a noncommittal sentence as to your feelings, which keeps me on the hook and yet I'm not allowed to express my very permanent, very real feelings.' Jess smirked at her.

'You know I think I preferred it when the most I got out of you was "huh"' Rory sighed walking out of the store.

'Huh.' Jess smirked at her.

'Ok I have to leave now.' Rory turned away from him.

'You don't want to grab something to eat?' Jess asked not wanting to lose her company again.

'I can't be around you right now.' Rory said stepping away slightly.

'Why? I don't turn into some sort of monster after 9.' Jess looked at her in confusion. 'I thought we were having a good time.'

'We are, I am...but I just can't because you're being all charming again and I really want to kiss you.' Rory let the words slip out, slapping a hand over her mouth as she spoke. Jess chuckled at her confession and stepped forwards, kissing her forehead lightly.

'I'll see you round.' Jess said walking towards the diner. Rory watched him go not turning away until he was out of sight, and then headed back to her house.

'Hey where have you been?' Lorelai asked as Rory dropped down onto the couch beside her mother. Rory stared straight ahead and answered the question.

'I went to see Jess, figured I'd avoided him long enough.' Rory answered.

'Oh, how'd that go?'

'He was mad at me.' Rory replied.

'That little punk!'

'He had a right to be mad at me, anyway we spoke and then got into a fight and it all ended with me wanting to kiss him again.' Rory covered her face with her hands.

'Whoa! How do you get from being in a fight to wanting to kiss him?' Lorelai asked.

'Beats me, all I know is that one minute we were fighting and then the next I'm telling him not to leave until I figure out how I feel and he's complaining that I'm messing with his head and then telling me he loves me and then I'm melting and he's being wonderful and then I just...wanted to kiss him.' Rory shook her head. 'There's something seriously wrong with me.'

'Oh honey there isn't anything wrong with you, but you do need to face the fact that Jess has this kind of effect on you and maybe that isn't a bad thing, maybe that's just telling you that you're meant to give him a second chance.'

'This coming from you, the leader and founding member of the "I hate Jess Mariano club" when did you change your tune?' Rory asked running her fingers through her hair.

'Somewhere around the time my daughter founded the "I'm totally in love with Jess Mariano but won't admit it club" or something like that.' Lorelai said lightly, Rory raised her eyebrows at him.

'You're insane.' Rory shook her head. 'Just because I wanted to kiss him, doesn't mean I'm in love with him.' Rory replied. 'I've wanted to kiss him basically since I met him.' She stood up, it seemed to be a habit of hers lately, to say things and then regret it.

'I so didn't need to know that.' Lorelai replied. 'But doesn't that tell you something, you've had feelings for Jess for ages, so why are you fighting so hard this time?'

'Because...there's nothing to fight, I don't love him, I care for him but he broke my heart and I can't let that happen again.'

'Agreed.' Lorelai looks over at Rory who is biting her nails. 'So...what happens now?'

'I try to get over this whole wanting to kiss Jess thing. I want us to be friends, but I don't think I can handle anything else.'

'Then you need to tell him that, because that kid is in love with you and it'd be cruel to string him along.' Lorelai replied.

'Ok...so I tell him I just want to be friends.' Rory nodded. 'I can do that, I'll be back later.'

'You're going now?'

'Why not? Now's as good a time as any.' Rory headed out the door and walked determinedly to Jess', finding him heading out himself.

'Back so soon?' He smiles as her and her resolve falters.

'Uh yeah I wanted to talk.' Rory answers him.

'I was heading to the bridge, you want to come?' Jess asked her, she seems nervous to him and it's worrying him, but he's trying to stay cool.

'Sure.' She nods and falls into step with him, walking through the night streets. They both remain silent until they reach the bridge, he sits down and she follows his lead, sitting inches away from him.

'Rory?'

'Hmm.'

'You wanted to talk, what about?' Jess asks after several minutes of her staring out over the lake. She turns to him and meets his eyes.

'I want to be friends Jess.'

'Ok, I'd like that too.' Jess looks confused for a minute but then catches on. 'Oh, you mean you only ever want to be friends.'

'I...don't think me and you, as a couple, really...work.' She tears her gaze from him, dashing a stray tear away, it feels like she's breaking up with him, but they aren't even together.

'Did I mess things up that badly?'

'No...Jess it's not just about you leaving, I just can't let myself get hurt like that again and you...could do that to me, you have the ability to hurt me so badly and I know you say you won't...but you didn't think you'd leave last time.' Rory's starts shivering as it starts raining heavily, but neither of them move, Jess instinctively takes his leather jacket off and puts it on Rory, she wraps it around her, the smell of coffee and cigarettes mixing together. Her eyes meet his. 'I'll understand if you can't be my friend, if it's too hard.'

'If having you as a friend is the only way I can have you in my life, then it's what we'll do.' Jess answers honestly, his voice is sweet but sad and his eyes hold such unspoken emotion. 'I can't walk out of your life, and I won't let you walk out of mine.'

She's lost for a second, her tears mixing with the rain, she's half expected him to storm off and leave town, or stand here and yell at her about messing him around, but he was being mature, kind and sympathetic. Throwing away all her sense and logic, she leans forward and kisses him, pulling back a few seconds later and resting her head against his forehead, looking into his eyes.

'You're the queen of mixed signals you know that?' Jess smirks, it's impossible to be angry at this girl after she kisses him, however messed up it makes him.

'I'm so sorry, I know I'm being unfair but I'm finding it really hard to stop myself.'

'Then why are you trying?' Jess demands quietly. 'Let me have another chance.'

She stands and backs away and he's immediately on his feet.

'You know that I can't!' She shouts.

'Why not? Rory I'm here, I'm not going anywhere and you can trust me, you can rely on me now! I know you couldn't before but you can now! Give us a chance!'

'No! I can't do it, not again.' Rory shakes her head firmly.

'So this is what it'll be like? You'll be my friend until you feel like kissing me, because honestly Rory that's torture!'

'Then maybe we just need to stay away from each other for a while.' Rory crosses her arms over her chest. 'Because I don't want to hurt you and if my being around you is torture...'

'Rory...' She's turned away and walking towards the town but stops when she hears him call out her name. 'Please don't walk away from me.'

'I'm so sorry Jess.' Rory steps out of sight.

Jess walks into the apartment slamming the door shut, getting Luke's attention from the hockey game he was watching, then Jess walks over to his side of the room and punches a hole in the wall.

'Jess!' Luke shouts angrily. 'What on earth has gotten into you?'

'I can't deal with her! She's so...' He trails off unable to complete that sentence.

'I'm assuming we're talking about Rory.' Luke guesses.

'Who else, you know it's so unfair! I never asked to come here, I never asked to meet her and I certainly never asked to fall in love with her!'

'What happened?' Luke rubs his forehead and looks at his nephew gravely.

'I don't want to talk about it.' Jess drops down onto his bed.

'Are you leaving?'

'No! Why should I? If she doesn't want to see me then too bad, that's her problem and I could care less.' He picks up a book, indicating that the conversation is over.

Rory enters quietly into the house and numbly sits down on the couch next to her mom, soaked to the skin, hugging Jess' jacket around herself. Lorelai is immediately worried, switches off the tv and hugs Rory.

'I've ruined everything, he's never going to speak to me again, any chance of us being friends is gone.' Rory sobbed into her mother's shoulder.

'What happened?'

'I pushed him too hard, I told him we could never be more than friends and he was...kind and he accepted that and he was so sweet, I couldn't help it, I kissed him...'

'Oh Rory, you didn't kiss him and run away again!'

'I didn't run straight away, that would have been better. I stayed and turned him down, he was begging me to give him a chance, he asked me not to walk away and I just...left.' Rory's sobs grew louder. 'I've hurt him so much and now he'll never forgive me.'

'Oh honey, it'll be ok.' Lorelai soothes Rory as she cries herself to sleep.