HI AGAIN!
If you think that Act 1 was cracked, get heady to have and earthquake... :P
Here's some more randomness...
BTW, Hey Shakespeare, if you can read this from heaven, please don't shoot thunder bolts at me for frying your play...
The rest of you, please Enjoy:
Act 2
Scene 1
Brutus' orchard.
[Enter Brutus with his Samsung Galaxy S]
Brutus: Darn the weather! It's so damn cold! And that Cass just had to meet at the orchard. Gayassed Moron!
(A gunshot within)
Brutus: OOOOHHHH a new text message. (Reads) Hey Brutus, do you have balls or what? Can't you see what the old geezer is doing? Redress!
Oh god! This is the third time this week. Who are these people sending me texts via Yahoo Messenger about JC? Weird.
[Enter Lucius]
Lucius: Sir, someone wants to see you.
Brutus: Oh? Who is it?
Lucius: Some ridiculous idiot. He's wearing a joker costume and his face is painted like a joker. I don't recognize him.
Brutus: (twitching) Send them in.
[Exit Lucius]
Oh Cass, that just ridiculous!
[Enter Cassius]
Cassius: Yo B-man!
Brutus: (raises an eyebrow) Dude, what's with the joker costume?
Cassius: Well I obviously couldn't visit you at this hour dressed like myself. People would get suspicious.
Brutus: But joker?
Cassius: Well… They had a 50% off on this costume. I was actually going to try the Barbie -
Brutus: Okay, I get it! Now quit wasting my time and remind me why I am standing out in the cold.
Cassius: Oh yeah! I've got it all planned out. We do it tomorrow in the office.
Brutus: You mean kill the fag?
Cassius: Yes!
Brutus: Is that you had to say?
Cassius: Oh… and I asked Coffee to go and make sure that he comes to the Senate tomorrow.
Brutus: Okay.
(Awkward pause)
Brutus: That's it?
Cassius: Uh… yeah.
Brutus: You know what, my wife thinks that I have lost my balls 'cause I couldn't do what she wanted me to do.
Cassius: Oh that's so bad. (Winks seductively)
Brutus: Your fault! (Takes off his shoes and starts to hit Cassius.)
[Exit Brutus hitting Cassius]
Scene 2
Brutus' Porch
[Enter Portia and her pet duck, Bongo]
Portia: That fucking Brutus! What the fuck is his problem anyway!
Bongo: Quack, quacccckkkkkk
Portia: Thanks Bongo, He has become such a fag these days! You know, we haven't had any fun in ages!
Bongo: Quack….
Portia: Is he gay or what?
Bongo: Quack quackkkk, quaaaaacck.
Portia: That's a wonderful idea! I'll go to his office and catch him red handed. And maybe check out Jules. (snicker)
[Exeunt]
Scene 3
Caesar's villa: Living room
[Enter Caesar and Calphurnia]
Caesar: Neither heaven nor earth hadn't been in peace tonight. I…
Calphurnia: Oh don't you fucking talk about heaven and change the topic!
Caesar: Cal darling…
Calphurnia: Don't you darling me, you ass!
Caesar: Please baby…
Calphurnia: No! What you did yesterday can't be overlooked! I know you were missing Brutus all along. And I saw you ogling at those belly dancers.
Caesar: Baby, listen…
Calphurnia: Don't you fucking try and deny that Julius Apollo Montesquieu Remises Stalin von Adolf William Catherine Gross Caesar!
Caesar: Oh god! You can't be so mad at me that you call me by my full name! I'm so sorry darling!
Calphurnia: That fucking fake sorry again! I've had enough of you r bullshit.
Caesar: Please darling… Please let me make it up to you. Just one more chance.
Calphurnia: (smiles) Okay. You won't go to the Senate today. Stay at home with me. (She puts her arms around his neck.) We can go out together. We can hang out just like we used to back in high school.
Caesar: Okay. Anything for you, love. (He holds her waist.)
[Enter Decius Brutus]
Decius: HEY JULES! You won't believe what I just heard! The Senators have planned a special belated b'day party for you! They're getting a strawberry cake!
Caesar: OMG! Got to go! (He leaves Calphurnia and goes.)
(Calphurnia falls flat on her face.)
[Exit Caesar and Decius, running]
Calphurnia: YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE JULIUS! FUCK YOU!
[Exeunt]
That's it for the time being. Please review:)
Please, please review. Your comments are important!
Bye now!