Chapter 4

I must have been brooding for a while…

Night was falling by the time Zuko arrived outside his sister's cell. Though surprised, Dr. Cathka had not given any objections to his usually late visit. Azula, though, would not be so lenient. Zuko sighed in slight worry as he walked into the cell.

What he saw made him stop dead in his tracks, his eyes locked in gaze.

Azula was in her standard brown-orange robes, sitting on her mattress and ready to go to sleep. It was when she looked up that he was caught severely off guard.

Her tousled, oily hair was completely down. When it framed her face and body like that…

My god, she looks just like Mother, thought Zuko. Granted, the resemblance was distorted by Azula's glare, and right now she looked much less beautiful than Ursa, but it still was incredibly striking. Sadly, Zuko really didn't need the reminder right now. He choked back tears and tried hard to keep a straight face.

Unfortunately, his efforts were not completely successful; a very sad frown slipped out.

Azula was quick to call him out. "What are you staring at, dumb-dumb?" she snapped. "Here to cry to me because you had a bad day?"

Her glare intensified. "And why are you so late? I'm about to go to bed!" she added snottily.

Zuko's face stiffened and he glared back. "I have duties, Azula. Today they took longer than usual." He pulled out a chair at the table and sat down.

Azula rolled her eyes. "Whatever. It doesn't change the fact that I know you're playing a game with me." Her glare intensified even further, quiet rage glowing like flames in her eyes. "And I'm getting very tired of it."

Zuko shook a bit at her appearance but he was much more annoyed than afraid. "What are you talking about?" he asked, throwing his hands out in a puzzled gesture.

"Don't play stupid, Zuzu," growled Azula. She strolled over to the table and sat opposite him. "You keep coming here to keep up your act of a concerned brother, looking after his little sister." She threw him a very sadistic smirk. "You keep me around as your trophy. You're too cowardly to kill me, and you never will, because I'm too much a part of you," she sneered.

Zuko looked down for a few seconds.

She's right… in a way.

Then he looked back up with a serious expression. "No," he said determinedly. "You're right. I won't kill you, because I'm not you. If I had you executed or left to rot, I'd be as bad as you. You believe in only keeping people around as long as you can manipulate or dominate them. I believe in standing by people so I can help them." He smiled confidently. "That's the difference between us."

Azula's smirk melted into another glare. "Liar!" she snarled. "You just preach self-righteousness so you can make yourself feel better and get people to like you. Deep down, you're just a coward and a traitor." Her voice filled with bitterness and disgust. "You betrayed me… you betrayed Father… you betrayed your entire country, just like your uncle Fatso!"

Zuko slammed his fist on the table. "I didn't betray anyone from home!" he shouted. "I had nothing here! Nobody here cared about me! The person I did betray was Iroh! I realized my mistake, and I joined the Avatar because I realized Uncle was the one who truly loved me and that he was right: serving the Fire Nation was wrong!"

"Nobody cared about you?" snorted Azula. "Maybe if you stopped being such a pathetic, angry whiner, you would have noticed that you had a father who thought you were a hero. You had a girlfriend who loved you. And," she added with venomous sly "a sister who made all that possible."

"Bullshit!" yelled Zuko as he slammed the table with both his hands and bolted out of his chair. "You had nothing to do with that! You were manipulating me from the moment you convinced me to help you at Basing Se! Everything you did was a trick to make me your pawn! Mai fell in love with me because she already had feelings for me for a long time, and Father only thought I was a hero because you made me the fall guy for taking down the Avatar when he was still alive!"

"Whose fault is that, Zuzu?" asked Azula sneeringly. "You lied to me first; you knew the Avatar was still alive and you kept that from me. I just made sure that if you were lying, you would get what you deserved. Other than that, I looked out for you."

"Stop lying!" snapped Zuko. "You did not!"

Azula stopped sneering and glared. "Am I?" she retorted angrily. "I could have busted you for your countless visits to Uncle while he was in prison, but I didn't. I could have easily disposed of you after you helped me, but I didn't. It's because of me that you were accepted back into a life of luxury and comfort, and you repaid me by betraying me, and then causing Mai, Ty Lee, and everyone else to turn on me!"

Zuko sat back down and crossed his arms. "First of all," he began with extreme irritation, "those are pretty weak signs of "looking out" for me. Second, I didn't want that life deep down; I finally realized how false a reward it was. Third, you can't blame me for something you brought upon yourself." He leaned forward and glared. "That's what you get for building your entire life on manipulating and scaring people."

It was Azula's turn to jump up from the table. "SHUT UP!" she screamed. "Don't you dare lecture me like that! Especially since you ruined my life!"

Zuko mouth dropped in angry dismay. "What?" he flubbed out, completely at a loss for words. "How… the… fuck… did I ruin your life? You were better than me at everything! You had Father's love, you were a firebending prodigy, and your accomplishments always got attention while mine got none! Plus, I never did anything bad to you in my entire life! What could you possibly have as a reason to resent me?"

Azula crossed her arms and looked away huffily. "You took Mother from me…" she muttered accusingly.

Zuko sighed heavily; this was far from the first time he had heard that type of talk from her. "Azula, I didn't take Mother from you. She was just looking out for me because she was worried about me." He looked down sadly. "I needed her so badly..."

"Oh, and I didn't?" snapped Azula. "She never cared for me even close to the way she did for you!"

Zuko glared. "Azula, Mother is the only person in my life who's ever loved me unconditionally besides Uncle. You made my life hell, and Father not only hated me, but he was ready to murder me for the throne!" He put his hands on the table and stared intensely at his sister. "She got herself banished protecting me; I would be dead if it wasn't for her!"

He leaned back and crossed his arms. "Besides, even if she did favor me, what's the big deal? You had Father."

"It's not the same!" snarled Azula. She looked away.

Zuko couldn't tell if she was angry or sad. "What do you mean?" he asked.

Azula remained staring away from him. "Father didn't love me," she mumbled, a trace of sad and pained resignation in her voice.

Zuko was stunned. He knew his father was a horrible person, but he had always believed Ozai had loved Azula with all his heart, and that was why Azula had grown up to be so much like him. Had he been wrong this whole time…?

"How did you figure that?" he asked Azula.

Azula waited for a few seconds before responding. "He wouldn't let me come with him to burn down the Earth Kingdom," she answered. She slammed her fist on the table "It was my idea!" she moaned. "He stuck me as Firelord while he became the Phoenix King!"

Zuko sat bewildered "He needed you to guard the palace Azula. What's the big deal?" He tried not to sound too mean, but he did feel Azula was acting rather spoiled.

"You don't understand!" snapped Azula. She turned away in a huff.

"What don't I understand?" asked Zuko rather impatiently.

Azula didn't answer. She just stared off to the side.

Zuko sighed. "Ok, ok. We can talk about that later. I guess I should let you know that I'm searching for Mother as we speak. So maybe-"

Azula whipped back around to face him. "What?"

Zuko did not like the look on her face. It was lit up with volatile hostility.

He swallowed. "I've found out that Mother might be in a hostile area of the Earth Kingdom. If it would make you feel better, when I find her, I'll bring her here-"

"If you bring her here, I'll kill her myself!" snarled Azula.

Zuko reeled back in horror. "What?" he gasped.

Azula smiled maliciously at her brother's horrified reaction. "I hate that woman. I hope you don't find her. And if you find her, I hope she's dead."

Zuko felt his mouth drop. "What did you just say?" he asked, outraged.

Azula gave a wide, psychotic grin. She looked like a gleeful serial killer. "Allow me to repeat myself," she began softly.

Zuko gulped.

"I… HOPE… SHE'S… DEAD!" screamed Azula, her voice and face a mixture of homicidal rage and triumph. Her eyes glowed with death.

Zuko shook like a ship lost at sea in the middle of a storm. "W-W-WHY?" he screamed back. "AZULA, SHE'S OUR MOTHER!" He looked around, stuttering and trying hard to fight back tears. "We- we need her! I- I need her..."

"Aw, poor baby Zuzu misses his mommy," sneered Azula. She began to laugh manically. "No matter what, you're still just that pathetic, scared little mama's boy," she taunted.

Zuko felt his face going red with rage. "Mother was right… YOU ARE A MONSTER!" he roared, choking back more tears.

Azula laughed harder.

Zuko leaped up and slammed his hands on the table. "YOU'RE A PSYCHOPATH!"

Azula laughed even harder.

"YOU'RE A SICK, TWISTED FUCK!"

Azula practically screamed with maniacal laughter.

"GRRR-AAAARGH!" bellowed Zuko in agony. He stomped toward the door. He had to get out of here… now!

"Leaving already?" sneered Azula, her laughter slowly yet steadily calming down. "Hope you don't cry to much at the sight of Mommy's corpse, little baby Zuzu!"

Zuko stopped short as his hand reached the door handle.

That's it…

He turned to Azula and glared hard at her. She just smirked.

"I don't know what exactly Mother said about you or did to you," he growled. His voice dripped with utter disgust and loathing for his twisted, sadistic sister. "But I'll tell you one thing: I am so proud of her."

Azula smirked harder. "I wonder why that could be," she sneered.

Zuko's voice turned ice cold with contempt. "Because she recognized the biggest mistake of her life: giving birth to you."

Azula's smirk vanished. She raised her eyebrows.

Was she stunned? Hurt, perhaps?

Zuko couldn't have cared less. "Yes, Mother realized she had given life to a complete monster, an abomination," he continued, seething with fury. "She recognized you as the insane, power-hungry killer you were right as you were born. That is why she never loved you."

Azula's barred her teeth, her face an intense stare of death. It completely bounced off Zuko, though, who shot back with an even more intense death glare of his own.

"I am really glad she didn't waste her time with you." Zuko was practically spitting at this point. "She was totally right in what she did. You know why?"

He leaned forward.

"Because no decent person in their right mind would ever love you!" he snarled.

No sooner had he finished that statement than was Azula leaping at him, roaring with rage. She slammed him into the wall and punched him hard in the face.

Zuko grabbed her arm, but she quickly shot up her other one and scratched his check. As he yelped and reeled back in pain, she broke free her arm, a ball of fire glowing in her hands.

As she moved in for a burn, Zuko smashed his forehead into her face. Azula yelled in pain as Zuko grabbed her at the wrists violently shoved her against the wall.

They barely heard the cell door opening behind them. Dr. Cathka rushed in with two guards.

"Fire Lord Zuko, is-"

The doctor and the guards immediately found themselves receiving the two most murderous glares they would probably ever see in their lives. Like brother, like sister.

"GET OUT OF HERE!" roared the siblings.

The three men shook in terror, and what looked like dark spots formed between their likes. All rushed out and shut the door behind them.

Zuko and Azula struggled for another few minutes, growling and snapping at each other like animals. Finally, Zuko shoved himself away from his sister, and started wiping blood from his mouth, where she had punched him.

Azula grabbed her nose and lip, which were oozing blood as well.

"Get the fuck out of my cell!" she snarled, and thrust her finger toward the door. "I never want to see you again!"

"I will arrange that with pleasure!" snarled Zuko back. He stormed toward the door and yanked it open. "You will rot here until you die like the piece of shit you are!"

"GO TO HELL!" screamed Azula.

"I WILL!" bellowed Zuko over his shoulder as he rammed the door shut. "And I'll save you a spot right next to me!"

Zuko stomped down the hall to the exit. Dr. Cathka and the guards nervously approached him.

Zuko held up his hand. "You can continue caring for her," he stated coldly. "But I don't want to hear a peep about it."

Dr. Cathka nodded shakily as the Fire Lord left the asylum, slamming the entrance door in the process.

Stupid, spoiled brat. Why should I make myself suffer for the sake of that psychopath?

Zuko stared out into the dark night as he made his way back to the mainland on the ferry.

He was not going to bother with Azula anymore. She was insane, beyond help.

And it was not his fault things had gone so bad; it was hers, because she was so messed up.

He was certain of it.

So why did he feel tears welling up in his eyes?

Zuko looked down, and them let drop in silence…

He's no brother. He's just a traitor, hypocrite, and glory-hunter.

Azula sat down angrily on her bed. She could not fall asleep.

"Azula?"

Azula turned, none too surprised. It was that "woman" again.

"Leave me alone, Mother," she muttered.

"Why did you turn him away like that? He's trying to help you…"

"Shut up! No he isn't!" she snapped. "He's just out to make me suffer…"

"You know that's not true," whispered Ursa softly.

Azula's looked down at the floor. Her lip began to tremble.

"Go away," she muttered as her voice cracked.

In seconds, she was all alone. Again. She had better get used to it…

Azula plunged her face into her palms and cried.