Title: I Wear A Halo When You Look At Me - Chapter Two
Pairing: Brittana
Rating: PG-13 (I think)
Summary: Santana decides to stay in New York after Nationals to help her get the courage to come out and then she comes out with Brittany right beside her.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any of the Characters I've used.
Spoilers: None (I think)
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Santana fell back into the softness of Brittany's familiar bed with a small sigh. She was still tired from her journey and the warm fabric beneath her made her just want to fall asleep. Brittany sat next to her, her long legs hanging over the edge of the bed, covered by long bottoms dotted with little different colored ducks.
"I didn't know you were going to be back so soon, San." Brittany smiled, clearly excited to see her friend.
Santana was equally excited and more than happy to be with Brittany but her tired eyes didn't show it. "I know, I wanted to come back though. I wanted to see you."
Brittany blushed slightly and giggled shyly.
"So...?" The taller girls voice was soft but uncertain. She thought that Santana would dive right into telling her stories about New York but so far the Latina had remained silent.
"It was...good." Santana spoke slowly, understanding what Brittany was asking her. She was dreading telling Brittany about the Grace thing because she knew that even thought the blonde would hide it she would be heartbroken. Brittany had been the one to put the idea in her head but Santana knew that she would regret it.
"That's it?" Brittany grinned, knowing there was more to tell.
"This is...so lame." Santana mumbled ducking her head embarrassed. "But I really missed your voice...and your smile, even."
Brittany's heart swelled. It wasn't often that the Latina spoke about her feeling even when she was with Brittany. When she needed to Santana told Brittany how much she loved her and things she loved about her but she never really said things that would be considered 'cute' or 'sweet'.
"It's not lame." Brittany laughed resting her hand on the Latina's exposed knee. "It's totally sweet."
Neither girl spoke for a few minutes as Brittany drew tiny circles with her fingers on Santana's knee and just above and underneath it. The soothing touches made Santana's eyes slip closed and she relaxed completely into the pillows.
"Tell me about New York?" Brittany asked quietly still making little shapes on the smaller girls skin.
"Mmm." Santana hummed forcing her eyes open. "I wish I could have stayed there and brought you with me. My Aunt Emesta says she wants us to go visit her and I told her we would." Santana smiled thinking about taking Brittany there. "I told her about us. I told her I was..I told her I was gay."
Brittany's eyes widened shocked. She never expected Santana to say that. Hearing Santana say the word 'gay' made Brittany realize that she'd only ever heard the Latina say the word on one or two other occasions. She remembers her saying something in Glee club about gay jokes and she remembers Santana telling her that she wasn't gay once.
"San..that's..." Brittany stumbled over her words feeling a lot of emotions at once. She was proud more than anything, proud that Santana had finally been able to tell someone other than her that she was gay. She was also shocked and happy and confused.
Santana sat up and scooted herself up so she could rest her back against Brittany's headboard. "She took it well. I mean, she didn't even care." Santana chuckled running a hand through her hair.
"Wow." Brittany grinned.
"Yeah." Santana agreed with a matching smile.
"So you did get brave in New York then!" Brittany jumped up excited, positioning herself so she was closer to Santana, who's smile fell as she remembered exactly what happened in New York. "Lord Tubbington bet me his mouse collection that you wouldn't but I knew you would, San!"
Brittany noticed and her smile left her face, too.
Santana took a deep breath, feeling guilty, not able to look Brittany in the eyes.
"What is it?" Brittany asked curiously. Her heart began to beat faster thinking that Santana was going to tell her that she didn't love her anymore or that she met someone in New York she was going to go back to. The blonde forgot all about Santana saying that she wanted to take her to meet her Aunt and she forgot all about her coming back early.
"Britt, I just..." Santana didn't know how to say it but she could see that the blonde was getting more and more worried by the second. "I met this girl and er...we kinda got wasted and...we..."
"Oh." The word tumbled from Brittany's lips before Santana had finished. She was afraid to hear the rest and felt the hot sting of tears drop from her eyes onto her flushed cheeks. She hadn't cried since Santana had sung her 'Songbird' in Glee club after crying because Artie called her stupid and she was embarrassed.
"Britt." Santana choked out, shocked. She shuffled quickly from the bed and swung her legs over the edge in the same position Brittany had moved into. "I'm really sorry. I'm so sorry. I swear I don't even remember I was that wasted and I would never have done it if you didn't say that I could before you left." The words were quick and full of guilt.
Santana didn't know what to do. She was afraid to reach out and touch Brittany, afraid to hold her incase the blonde pushed her away. Santana had never felt worse or more guilty or ashamed in her life.
"Brittany, please look at me." Santana felt tears in her eyes and she blinked them away quickly. "I promise you I would never have done it if you didn't say. Please, Britt, don't let this change what we're gonna be."
Brittany took in a long shaky breath before collapsing against Santana's shoulder. Santana turned her body around and held Brittany in her arms, shaking herself with Brittany sobs. A tear fell from her eye, landing in Brittany's hair and Santana couldn't believe what she had done.
"I'm so sorry, Britt. I didn't think you'd think it was that big a deal because you..."
"I just hate thinking about you sleeping with someone else, San." Brittany mumbled against the Latina's chest, her tears having stopped.
"What?" Santana frowned pulling back a little from Brittany and tilting her head so she could see part of Brittany's face which was still pressed against her chest.
"I just hate thinking about you sleeping..." Brittany began to repeat but Santana stopped her.
"No." She shook her head horrified. "Britt, I didn't." Santana pulled Brittany's head up and held her stare.
"I don't understand." Brittany pouted.
Santana brought her hand up and dried Brittany's still wet cheeks with her fingers before scooping blonde hair back from her face. "I didn't sleep with anyone, Britt. I would never..."
"Why are we crying then?" Brittany sat up straight more confused than ever.
"I don't know..." Santana laughed and poked Brittany in the ribs making her laugh too. "You started it!" She shouted playfully.
"San..." Brittany laughed and then pouted again. "Why are you saying sorry lots of times then?"
"Because, I did meet this girl." Santana started to explain, relieved that Brittany knew that she hadn't slept with someone. She couldn't believe how glad she was that she hadn't slept with Grace after all because she didn't think she would be able to take breaking Brittany's heart like that. "Her name was Grace and it was after I told my Aunt that I was gay and I suppose I must have been on a roll or something because I told her too and we...I don't know, we talked. And one night we went to this club that I definitely have to take you to if you come to New York, and I got so drunk and we ended up at her apartment and we made out a little bit..."
Brittany started to get sad again at the thought of Santana kissing someone else but she was glad that was all she had done. Brittany had given Santana permission but she never wanted her to do anything. She couldn't say it was a big deal if she had been the one telling Santana to do it after all.
"I didn't even know what the hell was going on but when I realized what I was doing I got up and walked away and I didn't see her again. I didn't want to see her again, I just wanted to see you. That's why I'm back so early because I wanted to tell you and be honest and to see you. And I'm sorry, I wish it never happened and I'll do anything to make it up to you."
"San, you're so silly!" Brittany giggled slapping the back of her hand lightly against Santana's stomach. "You were scared to tell me that?"
"Well, yeah." Santana said seriously. "I mean, I know you said we weren't together but we still were for me and so that means I cheated on you and I thought you'd hate me and I don't know what I would do... "
"You didn't cheat on me, Santana. You'd never do that to me and I'd never do it to you. And of course I don't hate you, honey. You scared me!" Brittany laughed and pulled Santana into her arms, holding her tightly.
"Fucking hell." Santana grinned, feeling stupid.
"Are we okay?" Brittany asked kissing Santana's hair and getting some in her mouth. She tried to flick it away and move but it wouldn't work. Luckily, when Santana pulled back from the hug her hair went with her and Brittany's mouth was free of Santana hair.
"Are we?" Santana shot back wanting to know the answer herself.
"Yeah." Brittany smiled after a few seconds.
The two girls laughed about it and settled back into Brittany's bed, leaning against the headboard with Santana's head tucked under Brittany's chin. They stayed silent, just wanting to be in each others company after those weeks apart. After a while, Santana dozed off and Brittany slid away from her and let the sleeping Latina rest in her bed. Brittany knew she was tired.
While Santana slept, Brittany went about tidying her bedroom as quietly as possible. She had been planning to do so before Santana returned but didn't get a chance to yet. When all of her things were put away neatly and Lord Tubbington was snoring by Santana's feet on the bed, Brittany got out the vacuum cleaner and wondered whether or not it would wake either of them.
Brittany decided that it would but also that Lord Tubbington slept most of the day anyway so he wouldn't mind. The blonde had an idea to keep Santana asleep while she vacuumed so she climbed onto her bed and straddled Santana's thighs, grabbing two of her favorite stuffed ducks from her chair and pushed them to the Santana's ears. Brittany was about to climb of the smaller girl and go find tape to hold them together when Santana's eyes fluttered open, alarmed.
"What are you doing?" Santana moaned groggily.
"Trying not to wake you." Brittany pouted. She had woken Santana up without even turning the vacuum on.
"Well it looks like you're trying to suffocate me with ducks!" Santana chuckled sitting up on her elbows looking up at the blonde.
Brittany rested her weight on Santana's thighs and looked at her confused. "What is suffocate?" She asked curiously.
"Doesn't matter. " Santana shook her head with a grin. "Do you know what else I've missed?" Santana smirked going back to the conversation they had only an hour or so ago.
"No." Brittany smiled, biting her lip but both she and Santana knew what she was talking about.
Santana brought her hands up as far as she could in the position she was in and rested them on the side of Brittany's thighs. Her fingers started trailing lightly up and down and she held Brittany's gaze as they did so.
"Guess." Santana smirked, drawing a little heart with her finger on Brittany's clothed leg.
"Did you miss..." Brittany looked up and to her left pretending to think. "Giving me massages?"
Santana shook her head smiling.
"Did you miss...practicing dance moves with me?"
Santana shook her head.
"Did you miss...reading my Disney books to me?"
Santana shook her head, her fingers going slightly higher up Brittany's thigh.
"Did you miss...Lord Tubbington?"
Santana shook her head and Brittany pouted. She didn't believe the Latina. Brittany knew that no matter how much Santana pretended to hate her cat, she actually thought he was super cute and she loved him deep down.
"Did you...?" Brittany began to ask again but she was stopped.
Santana pushed herself up with a grunt causing Brittany to jump back a little surprised so she was face to face with the blonde sitting on her thighs. Both girls grinned, just staring at each other.
"I missed our sweet lady kissed." Santana whispered and before Brittany had a chance to respond, Santana's lips were on hers.
It made Brittany's stomach flutter and her heart melt like an ice-cream cone left out in the sunshine, she thought. She could smell the smaller girl suddenly, the sweet scent of cherries crawled up her nostrils and then she tasted cherries on her lips. Santana always tasted so sweet. Brittany rose up slowly from Santana's thighs, never leaving Santana's mouth. She pushed the Latina back into the sheets of her bed and went down slowly on top of her. Santana's fingers tangled in Brittany's hair and she held her in place against her mouth, her free hand going to grip Brittany's hip.
"San." Brittany pulled back from the kiss for a quick second to whisper the other girls name.
Santana bent her left knee and Brittany's body rested between her legs, the blonde pushing down onto her.
Brittany could feel Santana's hand on her hip holding her tightly against her body and she wondered why the smaller girl hadn't tried to switch positions so she was on top yet. The Latina's tongue swept past Brittany's lips and then she was in heaven. There was nothing better than kissing Brittany, Santana decided. Having sex with the taller girl was so unbelievable that Santana still hadn't come up with a word to describe it yet but just kissing her was that feeling times a million. Santana couldn't control the way her hips rose up from the bed to connect with Brittany's and she couldn't help the soft moan that escaped her lips when she did.
Brittany tore her mouth away, gasping slightly for air.
"What's wrong?" Santana asked quickly unsure of what it was she did wrong. Both of her hands came up to the back of Brittany's head to play with the soft blonde hair there as she waited for an answer.
"We can't, Sanny." Brittany sighed staring at the Latina underneath her who rolled her eyes and then frowned.
"Why not, Britt? Didn't you miss our sweet lady kisses?" Santana felt herself smile.
"I did miss our sweet lady kisses." Brittany whispered. "But my mom and dad are right downstairs and they always come in to check on me, you know that. Also, I'm supposed to be vacuuming. They're going to wonder why the vacuum cleaner isn't talking yet."
Santana couldn't help the giggle that came out. Brittany was adorable.
"Fine, okay." Santana sighed, still smiling. "What time is it anyway?"
Brittany slipped out from between the Latina's legs and made her way to her bedroom window. Santana watched with a frown and raised eyebrows as Brittany pushed the window open and stuck her head out. After a few seconds she came back in and closed the window again, turning to Santana.
"It's about..." Brittany looked up to her left. "A quarter to 10."
Santana opened her mouth to say something, ask why Brittany knew but instead she sat up and reached for her cell phone on the bed a few inches away from her.
It read: 21:44
Santana's eyes went a little wide. "How the hell did you know that?" Santana asked amazed.
"The owls." Brittany answered with that familiar look on her face that said 'duh' and 'what the fuck' at the same time.
Santana knew better than to question what Brittany had said. She had no idea what the blonde was talking about and asking Brittany to explain would only confuse the smaller girl further.
"Umm...anyway." Santana got off the bed and found her shoes, putting them on. "I better go."
"Okay." Brittany smiled at her and walked towards her.
When Santana's jacket and shoes were back on, she leaned towards the blonde for a kiss but Brittany tilted her head away.
"My mom and dad are going to Uncle Fred's girlfriends charity thing on Friday." Brittany told the Latina.
"Ew." Santana scrunched up her nose, disgusted. "Perverted Uncle Fred?" She asked.
Brittany nodded and pulled the same face. "So...anyway he lives like 2 hours away."
Santana didn't catch onto what Brittany was saying and just shrugged.
"So..." Brittany sighed, smiling. "They will have to stay there until tomorrow because it doesn't finish until like 11."
Santana was about to shrug again when she realized what Brittany was trying to say. "Oh." She smirked.
"Yeah." Brittany grinned and took both of Santana's hands in her own, pulling her closer.
"I'll see you Friday then?" Santana asked. "I have to do a lot tomorrow. My mom wants us to spend time together or something and Quinn and I are good again, so we thought we'd hang out for a while. You can come if you want?" Santana offered pressing her forehead against the blonds with a smile.
"No, it's okay. I have to look after PJ tomorrow for my cousin and I think you should spend time with your mom and with Quinn." Brittany shrugged.
"Okay, can I have you for the rest of the summer starting Friday then?" Santana bit her lip.
"Definitely." Brittany beamed and leaned forward to kiss Santana.
"I found my cell, by the way." Brittany said when Santana pulled away. "Lord Tubbington was hiding it, I didn't take it to the pool after all. So, will you text me tomorrow?"
Santana smiled, glad she finally knew what happened to the cell phone and she nodded.
"Okay!"
"Love you, Britt." Santana said quietly leaning back in Brittany's open bedroom door.
"Love you, San." Brittany giggled and gave a little wave. "Wait." She called before Santana disappeared. "We're like girlfriends now then?"
"Yeah, B, we are." Santana nodded. Brittany laughed shyly and Santana smirked before heading off down the hallway, happier than she had been in a very long time.
In her bedroom, Brittany flopped onto the bed squealing, hugging Lord Tubbington tightly to her chest. She was happier than she had been in a long time too.