Chapter 8 (Nori)

When I open my eyes, both Remy and Logan are already awake, but still lying in bed beside me. They've clearly been watching me sleep. Normally, I would find that to be a little creepy, but given that last night I'd apparently been possessed by Jean Grey's Phoenix spirit in my sleep, I don't blame them.

"Morning," I say sleepily.

"Mornin', cher," Remy says.

"Mornin', darlin'," Logan says.

Both men sound relieved, and I smile. "What time is it?" I ask.

Remy glances at the alarm clock. "'Bout ten."

"Ten!" I never sleep that late. "Hey. What about—what happened to my classes while I was gone?"

"They've been practicin' on their own," Logan says. "Rachael came down and worked with 'em some, too. They missed you somethin' fierce, though."

I smile. "I missed them, too." And I had—on those rare occasions when I'd been lucid enough to realize where I was (and where I wasn't). "And you, of course."

"Mmm. What'd you miss most about me?" Logan asks.

I roll on my side and gaze into his eyes, with a slight quirk of my lips. "Oh, Logan, I missed the way the light glints off your eyes and makes them look like sapphires. I missed your ruby lips. I missed your alabaster skin."

I bat my eyelashes and both men laugh. "Y'sure that was me you were missing?" Logan asks.

"Well, who else?"

He smiles and kisses my forehead. "My sweet girl," he says, affectionately.

I grin and sit up. "Hey. Uh. What's going on today?"

Logan's face goes abruptly serious. "Well. Looks like we're goin' t'look for Jeannie."

I nod. "I mean, when are we leaving?"

Logan and Remy both look at me. "Hey. I know I'm not on the team anymore but this is—I have to go." I know they're both protective, but they're not idiots. Nobody else has my powers. And nobody else has been—possessed—by Jean Grey. Or whatever.

Remy sighs. "Yeah, cher, I think you do."

Logan growls faintly and I say, "Logan, come on. You know my powers could be useful."

"I know, darlin', but that doesn't mean I have to like it." I kiss him gently. Remy pouts, and I kiss him too. I stand up and walk to my closet.

"Uh, what should I wear?" I ask, feeling awkwardly girlish.

Remy laughs. "Uniform, prob'ly."

"Oh, right, that." In the meantime I pull on black jeans, a blue Xavier's T-shirt, and a soft green sweater. I quickly work my hair into a French braid. "Anyway, let's go get breakfast. Or lunch? Whatever."

Remy says, "All right, cher, give us a minute."

Logan says, "If we're waiting for LeBeau to get dressed, call it dinner time."

Remy mock-pouts and gets dressed with deliberation. Logan slips next door and comes back in jeans and an Xavier's sweatshirt. We head downstairs. Once again, we've missed regular mealtime so we go to the staff kitchen. I make tea while Logan scrambles a huge number of eggs. He eats most of them, but Remy and I help. I cut up an apple. Remy steals slices off my plate with an endearing grin.

I take my tea into the living room and find some of the students. They smile at us and burble happiness and concern for me and Remy. It's the first time I've seen them since we got back from being with Magneto and Co. I can tell that mingled in with their happiness, they're a little cautious about us, but Remy and I smile and console them. They've clearly been coached not to ask me any questions, which is fine. I'm not in the mood for a panic attack. Logan perches on the arm of one of the couches and watches. We're fine. We're just fine.

Xavier mentally calls us down to the Sit Room. We make our excuses and slip out of the living room. Everyone else is already down there, and it's clear they've been filled in on last night's events. I try not to notice that everyone looks a little afraid of me. Scott gives me a tense smile, and I smile back. I think mine would probably also be described as a tense smile.

"So," Scott says. "We believe the—Brotherhood is at the remains of the lab that was working on developing a so-called cure for the X-gene. Our primary objective is to determine whether or not—whether or not Jean is with them. And, of course, to bring her back to the mansion with us, if she is."

Remy speaks up. "How are we going to do anything if Mesmero is there?"

Xavier says, "I will be traveling with you. I'm not certain, but—I think I can shield our minds against him. Especially with help from Nori."

I nod, happy I hadn't taken my Ativan this morning.

Remy presses on. "I hope so, but—look, he went through Nori's shield, though my shield wit' no trouble at all."

Xavier says, a bit patronizingly, "I believe my shields are a little stronger than yours." They are, but they aren't invulnerable. He was Stryker's puppet just as I was. Well, all right, Stryker had a little bit more trouble with Xavier than with me—but he still did it. But what's the alternative? We have to try.

Scott says, "I'll be honest. I don't think this is going to be easy. In addition to Mesmero, the Brotherhood has also been joined by Mr. Sinister. And—Jean herself may—may try to fight us."

Poor Scott sounds broken at the idea. This day is not going to be easy for me, but it will be harder for Scott. I try to project reassurance at him, though I'm not sure how convincing it is. He gives me a small smile.

"The team for this mission will consist of myself, the professor, Wolverine, Gambit, Echo, Beast, Storm, Magma, and Marrow."

That only leaves Kurt and Cecilia at the school. But I agree with Scott. We need a lot of people for this.

"Does anyone have any questions?" Scott asks.

Remy says, his voice serious, "Listen. The thing about Mesmero—if someone is under is influence—I don't think you can talk them out of it. At first, Aiko and I tried, with Nori—we shouted and waved and she did not notice."

Scott says, "We'll just have to hope that the Professor and Echo can protect us from him."

Hank says, "Also, I will bring some tranquilizer darts. If we have reason to believe that one of our teammates is—under Mesmero's influence, we can—well, tranquilize them."

"Hey," I say. "When I take anti-anxiety medication, it always shuts down my powers. Do you think—do you think that would work on Mesmero?"

"Or we could just tranquilize him," Logan says.

"Oh. Yeah. I guess that would be more direct," I say. I'm definitely not the best X-Man. That's fine. It's not really my life goal, or anything.

Hank nods, absently. "I… I'll be prepared with a variety of pharmaceuticals."

Scott glances around for any further questions or comments, and says, "We'll leave in thirty minutes. Suit up."

Should I say goodbye to Aiko? I feel a very real sense that I might not come back from this. But what can I tell her? I decide to write her a quick letter. I slip up to my office and write an apology, a goodbye, and whatever words of wisdom I can muster. Logan comes in without knocking (of course) and says, "What'cha doin', darlin'?"

"Just writing a letter for Aiko. You know, in case I die."

He flinches. "Darlin'—"

"Don't act like it's not a possibility," I say calmly. "I just want to be prepared." I finish the letter and seal it in an envelope. On the outside I write, "For Aiko. Open after my death." I sign and date it.

Logan gives me a slightly wild look. I smile. "Come on, anata, let's go put on some black leather."

"You know—you know I'll look after you, don't you?"

"Of course, Logan. I'll look after you, too. But—it might not be enough, is all I'm saying."

"You'll be fine, Nori," he says. I slip my arm around his.

"Love you," I say. I hope he's right. I don't want to die. I don't want to become another of Logan's slain loves. But if I die today, in this fight, well, there are worse things.

He sighs. "Love you too," he murmurs. We head down to the locker room in the basement and emerge looking like X-Men. Or leather fetishists. We join the others in the hangar.

Remy's already there, managing to look casual in his black leather jumpsuit. I smile up at him and he bends down to kiss me. I link the three of us telepathically and am unsurprised to see the thoughts these two are having about me in black leather.

Leather is murder, I think to them.

Cher, I think any cow would die happy knowing they were going to end up on a body like yours, Remy says.

Logan doesn't think anything in words, but he shares an image that makes me blush. He and Remy both give me slow smiles as the pink rises up my face.

Yes, Remy agrees. We'll have to put that on our to-do list when we get back. Don't you think, cher?

I duck my head and think, Yes. It's probably not the best idea to be so terribly aroused right before leaving on a mission. I bite my lip and try to calm down.

Remy strokes my shoulder soothingly. It's all right, cher, we'll have plenty of time later.

Logan glances at me. I force myself to smile and think, Of course we will. In truth, I can't shake a suspicion that something terrible is going to happen. I suspect they both know this, but neither of them knows what to say. We stand together quietly for a few more minutes until Cyclops emerges from the jet.

"We're good to go," he says, and we all climb on board. Hank helps Xavier up the ramp and straps his chair into place. I sit in between Remy and Logan. Remy looks moodily out the window, and Logan looks moodily at me. He hates flying. I squeeze his hand. I'm usually fine with flying, but I'm still overtaken by a sense of awful foreboding. I close my eyes and go through a guided meditation. Mentally, I invite Logan and Remy. I can tell Logan is paying close attention—anything to avoid thinking about the fact that we're thousands of feet in the air. I lose track of time, and when I open my eyes I'm standing in the aisle and everyone is staring at me with horror. Scott is sobbing, though the tears evaporate under his visor before they hit his cheeks.

"What?" I ask, warily. I'm afraid I already know the answer.

"You were Jean again," Logan says, his breathing rapid.

"You truly don't remember?" Hank asks. I shake my head no.

Remy murmurs, "You told us we should turn around. You told us—there was no point."

"Well—I mean, I didn't," I say. I feel drained and on the verge of tears. "I have a bad feeling about this," I whisper. I sit down and lean against Remy. He strokes my back. The remainder of our flight is extremely tense. When we're close, Cyclops asks Xavier and I to start trying to shield everyone. Remy kisses me and Logan squeezes my hand, and I rise to sit next to Xavier. I take his hand and focus carefully on trying to magnify his powers enough to be useful, but not so much as to wipe me out. I hum to myself. The jet lands and the team slips out. Magma, in her molten form, stays behind to guard Xavier and I from any potential physical attack. I settle in and wait, hoping my sense of foreboding turns out to be ill-founded.