Chapter 17 (Nori)

I wake up early and stretch my arms out. With the mood Logan had been in last night, I'm surprised I hadn't been put to bed in handcuffs. As is, I can feel a dull ache in my ass that I know will only get worse when I sit down. I shiver a little at the memory. Logan's never hit me before, though sometimes I think he's wanted to. It had scared me a little, and it had hurt, but it had also been incredibly hot. Feeling Logan's hands on me, feeling his hard-on under me... it had been intense. It also felt... cleansing. I knew that I'd caused Logan pain, and I had felt horrible about it. Now I felt forgiven. It had been a wonderful distraction from the feeling of impending doom I've been having the last few weeks.

Logan wakes up and looks at me cautiously. I smile and kiss him. "Morning, anata," I say.

He smiles back, relieved. I guess he thought I might have regrets when I woke up to bruises. But at this point in our relationship, it's too late for regrets. "How you feel, darlin'?" he asks.

"Sore," I pout.

"Good," he says, practically growling. He runs a hand back over me and caresses my bruised ass through my pajama pants. My eyelids flutter and I try to keep myself from squirming. But I'm turned on, and I know Logan can always tell. He smirks. I turn and kiss him. He holds my face still and kisses me. Logan kisses confidently, possessively. He kisses like he's had a hundred years to practice.

He nibbles my earlobe and I can't keep myself from moaning. Remy stirs and watches us. Logan unbuttons my pajama top. I'm glad he didn't use his claws, because I really like these pajamas. Remy slides over and gently rubs the small array of bruises and bite marks on my shoulders and neck. My back is still streaked with dried come from last night, and he runs his hands over it before snaking his hands around to play with my tits. I reach my hands forward and start stroking Logan's cock. He moans against my mouth. I look up into his eyes.

He pulls away from my mouth and carefully pushes me forward. I wait on my hands and knees. Logan climbs over me and kisses the back of my neck. He presses his body against my bruised ass and I hiss in pain. He licks the tattoo on my shoulder and then slides back, puts his face between my legs and starts eating my pussy, his hands holding my hips in place. Remy roughly plays with my tits. The sensations are overwhelming and I shiver. I'm close to orgasm when Logan pulls his tongue away. I hear the rustling of a condom wrapper and then he slides in me without any other warning. I sigh and back up against him.

"Oh, God, pet, this is good," he says. While he fucks me, he runs his hands over my bruises, occasionally pressing down on one. The pain and the pleasure all bleed into one. He comes with a grunt, and pulls out of me with a light slap to my ass. I jump and whimper, and he laughs. I still need to come, and I look pleadingly at Remy. He smiles at me, encouragingly. He wants me to beg, and I will.

"Please, Remy," I start, with a sweet tone of voice.

"Please what?"

"Please fuck me," I beg. Logan's still behind me, tracing light patterns on my thighs and hips with his fingers.

"Hmm," Remy teases. "I'm not sure if that's really what you want. Maybe we should go get breakfast."

I bite my lip. I know he has a hard-on. I know he wants to fuck me as bad as I want him to. Damn him.

"No, please, Remy, now," I say. I spread my knees a little farther and I arch my back, showing him my breasts and my throat. I know I'm blushing, which embarrasses me, but I know they both love it when I blush.

He gives me a slow smile, taking in the view. "Please, Remy, please make me come," I say.

"Well, pet, you did ask very nicely," he drawls. "Logan, what do you think?"

I bite my lip. I hate when he asks Logan. Remy will usually just fuck me after toying with me for a little while, but Logan is inventive.

"Hmm," Logan says, tracing a circle on the small of my back. "I think you were right, Remy. We should go get breakfast."

"No, please," I say, squirming.

"Oh, don't worry, pet," Logan says. "You're not going down to breakfast. We are."

"Please, please, no," I say.

"Talkin' too much, pet," Remy says. He kneels in front of me and presses his cock against my lips. I pout but accept it into my mouth. I suck and lick and swallow, hoping that if I do a good job, they'll change their mind about leaving me here. With a small moan, Remy pulls out of my mouth and strokes my hair. "Very nice," he says.

Logan attaches cuffs to my wrists and ankles. He gently but firmly presses me onto the bed, a pillow under my ass, and he ties me to the bed. Then he slips a small dildo between my legs. I arch up against it. It feels good, but it's not enough to make me come. Logan smirks. Then he covers me up to my neck with the sheet. He strokes my cheek with his thumb and says, "Be good, pet."

I sigh and say, "Yes, Logan." I don't point out that I can hardly be anything but good when I can't move.

Remy kisses my forehead. "Warm enough, cher? You want a blanket on you?"

"No, thank you."

He kisses my mouth and says, "You have fun, pet." I pout as they leave the room, locking the door behind them.

I know I could undo the cuffs with my TK easily, but it won't be worth it. Anyway, I'm sure Logan would be able to tell, even if I put myself back in them. So I lie there and squirm. I'm not quite so desperately horny. Now I'm bored. And I want to brush my teeth. And wash the come off my back. I feel slutty, lying here naked, dirty, and helpless under one thin sheet. And I am kind of cold, now that the flush of excitement has faded somewhat. I probably should have taken the blanket. It feels like forever, but I know it's probably only been fifteen or twenty minutes when Remy and Logan come back into the room.

"Oh, good, she's still here," Remy purrs. He is so fucking funny.

I lie still and wait for them to come over to me. Remy runs his fingers over my mouth. He slips a finger between my lips and I suck it. I feel the blush creep back up my face. He smiles widely. "Good girl," he says.

I look up at him pleadingly. I am a good girl, dammit. He smiles and pulls the sheet off of me. He reaches down and gently fucks me with the dildo, taking his fingers out of my mouth. I whimper and lift my hips up. He straddles me and kisses my lips hard.

"Please, Remy," I breathe. He idly traces his fingers along my stomach. I wriggle under his touch.

"Did you miss me, cher?" he asks teasingly

"Yes," I say. I did miss him, and suddenly I'm near tears. Remy freezes for a second, registering my change in mood. He kisses me and strokes my hair.

"Ma fille douce," he says. He reaches over and frees my wrists, and I put my arms around him. "Je t'aime." He holds me still for a long moment. Then he frees my ankles and undresses, and we make love. Remy's gentle and sweet and I feel overwhelmed with love. After we finish, I curl up against him and cry. Logan's sitting on the desk chair, looking concerned and uncomfortable.

"Cher, what's wrong?" Remy asks anxiously. "Are you hurt?"

"No, no. Just... I don't know, everything," I sniff.

"Nori, you know you can stop us if things get to be too much for you," he says. "You know we don't want to hurt you."

"No, it-this was fine. Fun. It's just everything else. I don't know. I'm... I'm..." I start breathing harder. Shit, I'm having a panic attack. Remy holds me and tells me how to breathe. Eventually, I settle down. The thing I don't know how to say is that I am absolutely certain I'm going to die very soon. Instead, I say, "Let's go shower."

"All right, cher." We climb out of bed. I look at Logan in invitation, but he shakes his head "no." I bend down and softly kiss him.

"I love you, Logan," I say.

He reaches up and strokes my cheek, a sad expression on his face. I look him in the eyes for a moment, and I'm sure my face looks as sad as his. Then I give him a small smile and head to the bathroom with Remy, who's a little confused. We clean each other and I cry a little bit more. Logan's gone by the time we finish showering. We towel off and I pull on leggings and a dress, thinking it might be more comfortable against my bruises than pants would be.

Remy smiles and says, "You look beautiful."

"Thanks," I say. "You, too."

He studies my face and says, "Cherie... what's wrong? What do you need? What can I do?"

His sweetness will be my undoing. I smile and say, "Oh, Remy, I don't know. I'm just... I'm just scared."

"We all are, Nori." He kisses me. He makes no attempt to tell me that everything will be all right, which I appreciate. "Oh! I forgot. You need to eat something."

I laugh. "You're so predictable, love."

He stands up and brings me a plate. Apparently it had been on the desk, but I hadn't noticed. There's a bagel with exactly the correct amount of cream cheese and a banana. Tears well up in my eyes and I say, "I'm going to miss you so much."

Remy looks at me. "What are you talking about, cher? Where are you going?"

Shit, I shouldn't have said that. I look down at the plate and he holds my chin, gently forcing me to look at him. "Nori? Why are you going to miss me? What are you talking about?"

I take a deep breath. "I... I guess this sounds silly, but... but I'm pretty sure I'm going to die. Soon."

"Why would you think that?"

I shake my head and tears fall down my cheeks. "It's just a feeling I have. A really strong feeling."

"Have you ever had a feeling like this before?"

I bite my lip. "No. Not like this."

He rubs my shoulders. "Cher, you've been through a lot lately. You've been having a lot of stress. It's normal that you would be afraid."

He doesn't understand. Well, that's fine. I tried to tell him. He looks at me and can tell I'm unconvinced. He sighs and says, "Eat your bagel, cherie."

"Okay," I say, because it does look delicious. I lay down on my stomach on the bed and slowly eat my breakfast. Remy lies next to me with one arm draped over my back.

After I finish eating, Remy says, "Cher, you think maybe we should go talk to Hank?"

"Oh, I'm sure he's busy right now, with the cure and everything. No, I'm okay," I say.

Hesitantly, he says, "D'you want some Ativan or anything?"

I shake my head. "I don't want to take anything that will fuck up my powers. I'll need them tonight."

Remy looks at me unhappily. "Are you sure you want to go with us tonight?"

"I have to go."

"I wish you didn't."

"I know." I kiss him and say, "I have no regrets, Remy, none."

"Me neither," he says, after a moment of reflection."But I want more time with you. This isn't enough."

"I know," I say lie together for a moment, and I say, "Remember that time when we lived with Magneto?"

He laughs. "Oui, cher, I do."

"That was weird, right?"

"Very weird. Especially compared to our very normal lives here." We both laugh. We gently caress each other and reminisce for the rest of the morning.

I'm delighted to see that we're having pizza for lunch. If I could choose a last meal, it would probably be pizza. I feel at peace, and I'm glad I had this morning with Remy. Even if I don't die today, I'm glad I had it.

That afternoon I seek out Logan. He's out smoking in the garden, and I put on my coat and hat (new winter clothing had mysteriously materialized in my room after I got back from Canada, though I still miss my old pink coat) and join him.

He gives me a distant, sad look, and I try to smile at him. "What's goin' on, darlin'?" he asks.

I chew on my lip. "I think I'm going to die today."

He exhales a puff of smoke. "You thought that last week."

"It's gotten worse."

"You know something you're not telling me?"

I shake my head. "It's just a feeling. A really strong feeling."

I wait for him to tell me that things will be okay, that it's all in my head, that I should stay at the mansion tonight and not go on the mission. Instead he just works his jaw and says, "I hate this."

"Yeah," I agree. We stand quietly. I wish I had a cigarette. I'm sure Logan would share his cigar but I'm not a fan of them.

After a moment of silence, I say, "I love you, Logan."

He nods and finishes his cigar, grinding out the butt under his boot. "Love you too, Nori. I..." he trails off. I hug him, and he squeezes me tightly, nearly cutting off my breath.

"Logan, can I ask you a favor?"

"Anything, darlin'."

"Don't leave Xavier's. Stay here. If... if anything happens to me, stay here. You and Remy can look after each other."

At that, Logan loses it. He sobs and holds me. Jean comes out into the garden, her eyes glowing. "Please, Jean, please not now," I say.

She stares at us warily. Logan says, "Jeannie, everything's... " he catches his breath. "Everything will be... it will be okay." He doesn't sound very convincing, and I laugh.

Jean takes a deep breath and shakes her head. "I'm sorry," she says. "I really am... I really am trying. To keep it under control."

"I know," I say. "I understand." Jean nods and leaves the garden, still shaking her head slightly.

Logan and I stand and look at each other. I know he's taking my claim seriously, unlike Remy. He bends down and kisses me gently. He tastes like his cigar. "I love you, Logan. I'm so glad we ended up together."

"Me too, darlin'. Me too." I stand there quietly with my face pressed against his chest, and he says softly, "Will you do me a favor?"

"Yes," I say. "What?"

"Will you sing for me?"

I smile. "Of course, Logan. What song?"

"Oh, anything."

I hum for a minute and then sing a favorite of mine. It seems fitting.

Don't run back inside, darling,

You know just what I'm here for

So you're scared and you're thinking that

Maybe we ain't that young anymore

Show a little faith, there's magic in the night

You ain't a beauty, but hey you're all right

Oh and that's all right with me

After I finish, I smile and say, "Did I ever tell you about the time I sang that song with Springsteen?"

He raises his eyebrows. "No, darlin', you didn't. How'd that go?"

"Honestly, when I try to remember it my brain just turns to white noise, but the video looks good," I say with a smile. "When his manager called me to propose it I made him repeat it like five times. I think he thought I was brain damaged. Or drunk."

Logan smiles at me. "When was that?"

"Couple years ago. We were both scheduled to perform at the same music festival. I mean he was like a headliner and I was definitely second tier, but, you know, whatever. But I-I used to play 'Thunder Road' in concert a lot and I guess he heard about it." I know I can't help a smile off my face. I can't help it. Playing at Bonnaroo with the Boss was one of the coolest fucking things I've ever done. One more reason why I can die happy, I suppose.

I stand on my tiptoes and give Logan another kiss. "I'm going inside. Too cold out here for me."

He holds my face and looks at me intently before nodding. "Seeya later, Nori."

I wave my fingers and head inside. I go up to my office and quietly put my affairs in order, writing letters to the people I care about and sealing them. I put them in the top drawer of my desk, alongside the letter I'd written to Aiko. It's emotionally draining work, and when Remy materializes in my office I happily curl up on his lap. We sit and kiss and cuddle until Xavier telepathically calls us down to the Sit Room.

"Cher," Remy pleads, "Let's not go. Let's leave. Let's run away."

"Oh, Remy, you know we can't," I say sadly.

He holds me tightly. "I know." We hold hands as we walk down to the elevator. I barely pay attention as Hank and Jean talk about the cure, the vaccine, whatever. I feel like I'm watching the situation unfold from above. I watch myself put on that black leather jumpsuit and that black parka. I watch myself get on the jet and sit between Logan and Remy. I watch Scott and Jean. Scott watches Jean with wonder, like he's never seen a woman before. Jean watches Scott like she's afraid of him, like she's afraid of herself.

I watch as we land the jet over the ice. I try to focus. I find Mesmero and I frown. His energy feels strong, confident. If I try to block his power, he'll know we're coming. I decide just to try to shield us and hope it works. I kiss Remy before we get off the jet, and then I turn and kiss Logan too. I don't care who sees.

Nightcrawler takes us down into Sinister's base. I feel so much foreboding. We prowl through the base and find Mesmero and Sinister in the lab. They're both fine, and they smile upon seeing us. This is not good.

"Ah, welcome back," Sinister says. "I did hope we could have a reunion." I take shallow breaths and focus my shields as tightly as possible. Sinister tilts his head to one side and smiles.

Kurt tries to teleport over to Mesmero, but ends up flying back against the wall. "Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice... you know the rest," Sinister says.

"Jean, why don't you come join us?" Mesmero says.

"No, I..." Jean says, trailing off.

"Jean, aren't you hungry? How long can you hide from what you are?" Mesmero asks.

"No, Jean!" Scott says. "You're not the Phoenix. You're Jean Grey, you're a doctor. A teacher."

"I..." Jean says.

"Aren't you hungry?" Mesmero says. "Look how much power there is here. It could all be yours."

"No," Scott says.

I focus as hard as I can on Jean. Maybe I can block her power, since it doesn't look like I can do anything about Mesmero's... or is it working? Oh, God, what to do? I stick with Jean. She wheels around and transforms into her fire form.

"Stop that," she says.

"Jean, please," I say. "Please stop. Remember who you are."

"I AM THE PHOENIX."

"No," Scott says. "You're Jean Grey. Stop it, Jean."

Jean glances at him, and then back at Mesmero, and she flies at me. I feel an intense burning pain, and then I feel nothing at all.

NOTE: The song quoted is "Thunder Road" by Bruce Springsteen.