Ooh, reviews! Thank you all for reviewing! But somethings wrong with the sight so I can't see them and I already deleted the emails, so I can't address you guys personally. Except for you, Sean. PINK TIE AW. That's what I have to say to you.

Anways, the happiness ends now, but it WILL be back in the last chapter, I promise! I know because I've already written the whole story. :D

From here on out, spoilers for 'Loss' and 'Ghost'.

Warning: The first scene in this chapter is rated M for a rape scene. Do not read if it offends.

Chapter 2

Casey Novak's apartment

April 17th

9: 10am

When Casey finally woke up again, she was much colder then before, and much more uncomfortable. She shifted slightly with a groan, trying to pull her freezing arms closer to her torso, yet finding something was restraining them. Thinking Olivia might have come home and enveloped her in her arms, Casey smiled slightly and opened her eyes.

Being in Olivia's arms was always heaven, for Casey. But this was hell.

She was in her bed, handcuffed to the bed posts by her wrists and ankles. Her clothes were all gone, and she was pale, naked, and shivering on top of her bed, the handcuffs digging harshly into her skin, making her bleed. Casey tried to scream, but found herself choking and struggling to breathe through a gag. "Ah, she's awake," said a sickly warm voice from the corner of the room, and Casey started trying to struggle or fight her way out of this. She raised her head, but when she saw who was approaching her, she wished she hadn't.

Taylor Smith laughed as he walked over and sat next to her thrashing body on the bed. He seemed to be amused at her struggles. "Well well well, looks like this cat needs a little taming, doesn't she?" Casey tried to scream in terror again, but it only came out as a thin, quiet whine, and he laughed again. "Come on, honey, I want you, I want you now," he said before leaning over her and kissing her all over. Casey tried to pull back in disgust and was treated with a smack to the face for her efforts. "Don't act out," he warned coldly, "or you will be punished." Then he began kissing her again, but Casey couldn't help it. She doesn't want this, doesn't want him, and she can't just lie here and let him do this to her! She tries to scream again as she pulls away in revulsion, and he growls in frustration before getting to his feet and taking loosening his belt.

"You bitch," he snarled, "I told you to do what you're told. You are a pathetic, weak woman, you should know you're place. Never mind, I shall show you your place. And I'll do it again and again and again until you learn."

Then he began whipping her across the stomach with his belt, hitting her so hard she felt several of her ribs crack. Casey whimpered, trying to be strong, but, nevertheless, tears began leaking out of her eyes as he kept hitting her over and over again. She tried fighting him, but the pain grew to be so great it paralyzed her, leaving her motionless under her attacker. Satisfied, Taylor tossed his belt to the side and began his assault on her body again... but this time, he bit her, and squeezed her breasts and stroked the inside of her thighs, and Casey couldn't help it and she tried to pull back, the chains holding her place. Taylor saw her attempts to escape and was not pleased.

"I told you, I'll make you learn your damn lesson, bitch. I'll make you learn it." Then he whipped her again, beating her over and over and over until tears were streaming silently down her cheeks and she was praying for it to end. "Now," he asked, "will you be a good girl if I try again?" Casey, stubborn as over, closed her eyes tightly and told herself, 'It's a dream, it's a dream, it's a dream,' but her hopeful wishes were interrupted when he smacked her across the face and wrapped his hand around her throat, so tight she couldn't breathe. "Look at me when I am talking to you!" he snarled, squeezing her already mangled throat tighter as she struggled to get in enough oxygen to stay conscious. "Now, I asked you a question! Answer me!"

Casey let her walls finally crash down as she began bucking and sobbing, and gave a weak nod. Taylor nodded in satisfaction. "Good, darling. Good girl."

He continued to try and have sex with her, to force his way into her, but whenever she tried to fight him or pull back, she was in for another beating. The entire time, she was sobbing, wishing she was anywhere but here. She wanted so badly to wake up in Olivia's arms, to wake up from this nightmare and have Olivia embrace and soothe her and tell her it was all over now and that she was safe.

But Olivia wasn't here, and it wasn't over, and she wasn't safe!

And when Taylor finally entered her, raped her, and Casey felt pain like she had never known before, she found herself thinking only thing- 'Olivia! Olivia, where are you? Olivia, please come, please, OLIVIA!'

Taylor laughed in her ear, and with the pain from the physical injuries came the realization that she was dying. And she didn't care. All she wanted was peace. She wanted Olivia to come and take her softly into her arms and make her safe again. She wanted to cry her heart out into her lover's shoulder and for Olivia to give her peace. But Olivia wasn't here. And as Casey passed slowly into unconsciousness, feeling Taylor thrust into her over and over again, her last thought was, 'Olivia, I love you'.

SVU squad room

April 17th

6: 25pm

"Munch," Olivia said, rubbing her eyes tiredly, "I just told you, Casey wasn't feeling well last night and she was even worse this morning. That's why I'm not in a good mood. That's all. We didn't fight or anything."

"Right, and cell phones aren't a government conspiracy," he scoffed, rolling his eyes as he continued filling out paperwork.

"That's right, Munch, they're not." Olivia smiled slightly, then picked up her phone to try and call Casey- again. Third time today, and still no response. Truthfully, she was worried, and was about to say this aloud when she remembered that both Munch and Taylor Smith were in the squad room, though Taylor Smith was behind iron bars.

Elliot hurried into the squad room, eyes only for Olivia. "Liv, have you heard from Casey today?" he panted, trying to appear calm, but it was obvious he was panicking.

She frowned, immediately setting her paperwork aside and focusing on him. "No, why? Is she okay?"

Elliot stared at her awkwardly, then glanced over at Fin, who was standing rather pointedly in front of the TV. Fin looked at Olivia in sympathy, then glanced at the floor, biting his lip. "Elliot? Fin? What the hell is going on? What do you know about Casey that I don't?"

Elliot and Fin shared another concerned look, then Fin stepped aside and turned up the TV. It was showing a scene outside an apartment building... Casey's apartment building. It looked like there'd been an explosion of some sort; fire fighters were spraying water at the smoking remains of several cars and the flames inside the building while a reporter said, "After an explosion outside the West Side apartment building earlier today, police report one casualty and three others injured. The police will not be releasing the identities of these people until they discover the purpose behind the explosion and whether or not it was malicious. When..."

Olivia was out the door before the reporter finished that sentence.

Outside Casey Novak's apartment building

April 17th

6:45pm

"Let me through!" Olivia shouted as she fought to get through the thick crowd around her girlfriend's apartment building. She and Elliot finally managed to get through to the crime scene tape, to where several cops were working at the charred remains of a car. Elliot and Olivia showed them their badges and were finally allowed through.

"So, why are two sex crimes cops invading my-"

"Tell me who was killed!" Olivia shouted, interrupting the lead detective as she stared at him frantically. "The news said one person was killed and three people were hurt; tell me who they were!" The detective continued to stare at her in shock as she gasped, "Was Casey Novak one of them, that's all I need to know! Please, please, please, you have to tell me!"

The detective frowned, then nodded. "Yes, Casey Novak was the one killed, now, will you tell me why you're so interested in this?"

Olivia didn't hear the rest of the sentence. She was stuck on 'Casey Novak was the one killed'. It repeated in her head like a broken record, over and over again... it just wouldn't stop. But it didn't hurt. Everything was numb. She couldn't feel the pain she knew it would bring later... just total numbness.

She felt Elliot wrap his arms around her and lead her away from the crime scene, but she still couldn't think of anything else besides the fact that her lover was dead. Olivia would never see her alive again.

She heard Elliot whispering soothing things in her ear through his own grief, felt him kiss the top of her head, but none of it comforted her. The only thing that could do that would be Casey's warm embrace, which she would never feel again.

SVU Squad Room

April 17th

8:00pm

Everyone sat at their desks, Cragen standing by the coffee pot, staring at nothing. After receiving the news about Casey, Elliot had driven Olivia back to the squad room, where they told the others. Now, no one wanted to leave, no one wanted to stay. They all drew a sense of comfort from being together now, of all times, even though one of their group was missing.

They couldn't believe that Casey was gone. When she had first come to SVU, they had hated her. She could never have held a candle to Alex's ghost. Elliot and Olivia, especially, had resisted her.

But now, after three years, they loved her as one of their own. For a year, Casey and Olivia had been dating, and Casey had to be the best damn girlfriend Olivia had ever had.

And just like that, she was gone. All gone and never coming back. Olivia had often wondered if it would have been easier for her to believe Alex had died, if it wouldn't have hurt so much to know she was alive, but Olivia could never see her again... but no. It wouldn't have been easier. Even if it would have broken her heart to see Casey go into witness protection, at least she would have been alive. At least her angel could still smile and laugh and talk, at least she still had a slim possibility of a reunion. But now, with Casey... she could never have that. She could never hold that warm body in her arms again, and it was killing her.

She could not believe that Casey Novak was dead.

Topeka, Kansas

Bellevue Hospital

April 19th

9:30 am

Casey Novak could not believe that she was alive.

Given the amount of pain she was in, she had to be dead- but the afterlife couldn't hurt this much. She had to be alive.

She remembered everything that had happened, up to the point where she passed out. It made her want to burst into tears, but she didn't. Not yet. Though she was too tired to open her eyes, she could hear that she was in a hospital, and that meant Olivia was with her. Olivia could comfort her. Olivia could make her feel better, she could make it all go away.

But when she opened her eyes, there was no one in her hospital room besides a man in a suit, sitting in the corner and reading the paper. She couldn't see his face and started breathing faster, terrified that it was Taylor Smith, back to finish the job. But when her heart monitor started beating faster, the man noticed and put the paper down, hurrying over to her side. "It's okay, Ms. Novak," he said soothingly, trying to calm her down. "I'm Agent Samuel Harris, I'm not going to hurt you."

Casey stared at him in a panic, trying to calm herself down, but with little to no success. "Wha- what are you doing here?" she asked shakily. "Where's Olivia?"

Harris gave her a small smile and said, "Ms. Novak, I don't know who that is, but I need you to listen to me very carefully for the next few minutes. Taylor Smith escaped from the 1-6 by trading places with an identical twin and put a bomb under your car. My partner and I were on our way up to ask you a few questions about Taylor Smith when we saw it. It had all the signs of Smith; he was intending to kill you with it. We found you in your apartment unconscious; my partner brought you to the hospital while I set off the bomb. To everyone in New York, you are officially dead. We are putting you in witness protection, until we find Taylor Smith and bring him to trial. His other rape victim was almost killed by a car bomb as well, but she is already in the program. As of now, your name is Olivia Bell. We had to get out of state as fast as possible, so once you were stable we moved you to a hospital in Topeka, Kansas. After you get released, we'll be moving you to southern California."

Casey stared at him for several seconds, eyes wide with shock, unable to believe this. "Wha... what? No! No, I... I can't! You can't make me! I won't go!" she shouted, tears starting to burn in her eyes.

"Ms. Novak, it really is for the best..."

"No!" she screamed back, her hands balling into fists. "No, no, no, no, no!"

The federal agent was about to reply when a nurse came into her room, then smiled at her patient. "Oh, Ms. Bell, you're awake." Casey opened her mouth to shout that her name wasn't Olivia Bell, it was Casey Novak, but the nurse quickly moved over to her bed and said, "That's very good." She sat next to her on the bed and quickly shone a light in her eyes before she could protest. "Good, good..." she murmured, then made a note about something on her chart before looking back up at her and asking, "Ms. Bell, do you remember what happened?"

Casey was about to scream, 'Stop calling me that!' when Agent Harris intercepted quickly, "No, no, she doesn't."

The nurse nodded, and before Casey could say that she did remember, the nurse said, "That's fine, I wouldn't expect her to. Ms. Bell, you were in a car accident. Your car's brake failed and you skidded off into a tree- very lucky that you survived. You have a pretty serious concussion, a couple broken ribs, several dozen stitches, and a sprained wrist. You can be released in a couple days, but right not, just sit tight and try and relax, Ms. Bell. You're on some pain medication, and your brother here gave us all your medical info, so you don't need to worry about anything."

When the nurse had gone, Casey turned to Harris and snapped, "My name is not Olivia Bell and I won't go into witness protection! I want to stay in New York, not god damn Kansas! I want to see my friends! And you are not my god damn brother!"

Harris sighed and shook his head. "I'm sorry, Casey. but this is to save your life. And I had to lie about my relation and what really happened so the doctors wouldn't know you were in witness protection."

"Can I at least... can I at least tell them goodbye?" she practically begged, tears coming to her eyes again at the thought of just letting Olivia think she dead. "Please? One of their friends went into witness protection a couple years ago and she said goodbye! Can't I?"

He shook his head again. "You're already in Kansas, Casey. We can't risk bringing you back to New York. Anyway, you've been out for two days. You're not stable enough to be transported back to New York for at least several days, and by then, your picture will have been all over the news. We can't risk you being recognized, especially just so you can say goodbye. And, speaking of being recognized..." Harris pulled a wallet out of his pocket and handed it to her. Confused, Casey opened it, then stared at the picture inside with shock.

It looked exactly identical to her driver's license- though the information was Olivia Bell's- but she had blonde hair in the picture- and was wearing glasses. "What the hell?" she muttered, then looked down at herself and realized she had blonde hair too. "What the- how- you dyed my hair?"

"We had to. Redheads stand out, and you have been in the news too often to blend in. We dyed your hair blond and now, you wear glasses, Ms. Bell."

"Stop calling me that!" she demanded, closing the wallet and glaring at him. "My name is Casey Novak, not 'Olivia Bell'! Don't you dare call me that!"

The fed sighed sadly and gave her a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry, but you won't be going by the name 'Casey Novak' for a while."

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