A/N: Actually, I swore to myself not to start this chapter with apologies again. Although I'm late with updating once more (blame life and its many unforeseen developments), I still think I'd rather have a late update than a bad update… (as usual, I'm not too sure about the latter anyway.)

Well, back to this chapter: In the beginning, it was considerably shorter, almost too short. Then I added a little scene, and another one, and another one... In the end, it became a lot longer than expected. Still, since it took me quite a while update, I thought a long chapter would be justified somehow. And because long chapters are often a bit of a pain to read, I decided (just for once) to break it down into 'bite-sizes' and upload it in two parts (which is the reason why there is a '4.1' and a '4.2'). Right after that decision, I added a few more details I excluded in the beginning, 'because everything was too long anyway'. So now you have a really huuuuge chapter (in two instalments). Hope you enjoy ;)

By the way, there will be a few words of Spanish in one following scene (and more in some future ones). The reason for that is not that I want to show off my language skills (in fact, my Spanish is not worth mentioning). It's done solely for the purpose of characterization (as I happen to have OCs born close to the Costa del Sol, which sounds clearly Spanish to me, although I will never refer to it as such in the story) and realism (even in a world as 'unified' as the Planet of FF VII, something like different languages have to exist, although most people use a standard referred to as 'Continental' here. And even if you are completely fluent in a language, there are situations where you will automatically 'fall back' into your native tongue). Just a final remark: although the few words I use here are pretty much 'guessable' in terms of meaning, I added a translation at the very end of this chapter.

As usual, bear with little imperfections and mistakes. It's quite late over here, and I'll deal with that as soon as I find time. Promise :)

And finally, to another reason why finishing this specific chapter took me so long: the dedication.

This chapter is dedicated to a person that has grown incredibly dear to me in a very short time. I rarely use the expression 'soul mate', because only a very limited number of people fit the true meaning of that word in my eyes, but I have a pretty strong feeling saying that this person and I have a deeper connection in a way I'm still struggling to define exactly.

However, before I start ranting endlessly, I just want to add the following:

Dearest Rene

Over the last months - ever since we met, to be precise - you became a pillar of support in my life, patient, dependable, caring and inspiring. You were 'always there' for me in more than one way, and I want to thank you so much for that. Every single line I got from you so far means more to me than I can express in words. In return, all I can offer you is a sign of my love and gratitude, a piece of my writing. I said that this is 'your chapter' for more than one reason, yet all those reasons are very, very subtle and not always easy to define.

However, darling, this goes solely to you. Thank you for everything.

~°oOo°oOo°oOo°~

The Annual Company Ball was still in full swing. A mixture of low music, talking and occasional laughter filled the air like the sounds of a gigantic ocean, coming and going in waves. To the hasty observer, all the different participants seemed to be nothing but a huge, faceless crowd, a single monstrous individual; yet looking closer, one was able to split the mass into smaller elements again, independent persons moving in their own circles. Still, their every movement seemed to belong to a strangely coordinated dance. Looking at Genesis, Angeal wondered once again how he could stay so calm in this organized chaos. Was he that untouched by everything, or simply that used to it?

"Well, now all there's left to do is to find you the right lady to dance with," Genesis announced cheerfully, focusing back on the task at hand, as if he was ticking off items on an imaginary list.

Angeal frowned. "Can't we just organize a dress for you? That would save us - or me at least - a lot of hassle…"

"What is it with you that you always want to get me into a dress?" The question carried just a hint of playful reproach.

"Dare to try and find out?"

Obviously surprised, Genesis looked at him with that kind of expression saying 'You can't be serious. Please, tell me you aren't.'

Normally, Angeal would have found this reaction amusing, if it hadn't been for that onset of panic that seemed to be hidden somewhere beneath it. "Calm down, Gen. It was a joke. Just a stupid comment, ok? Even I do that occasionally…"

Surprisingly enough, Genesis' mood flipped back into the original position in less than a heartbeat. "Joke or not, let me make that point perfectly clear: There's hardly anything I wouldn't do for you, but cross-dressing is definitely past it. I'll be hanged first."

It must have been something special in the way he said it. For a reason totally out of his control, Angeal found himself just doing something he would have thought over twice on any other evening. Courageously, he pulled Genesis closer for a moment to whisper in his ear: "Maybe all I really wanted was to see that expression on your face again. You're so cute when you're angry."

Judged from a rational point of view, it was an incredibly sappy situation, but tonight, different standards seemed to apply. Genesis was obviously caught up in the same sort of mood, and with a gesture that was rather playful than depreciative, he gently pushed Angeal away. "Don't distract me from my mission… not right now."

"Not right now? In that case, I'll note it for later…"

Chuckling lightly, Genesis focused his attention on the groups of single female guests again. Angeal couldn't help but register the fact that he had never seen his best friend that concentrated on any female person before. Genesis had claimed once that girls made him always feel slightly uneasy: 'Even if they are nice and pretty and perfectly ok most of the time, in case they start going on my nerves, I'm not even supposed to tell them. So what should I do?' The actual translation for 'going on my nerves' here would have been 'if they start flirting with me in a very obvious way', and confronted with such a situation, Genesis usually switched to the 'cold and arrogant' mode in the split of a second.

But right now, he suddenly pointed to a girl with hazel coloured hair and a dark green dress. "That one."

The green attire she was wearing looked almost modest compared with her friends', still Angeal was absolutely sure that it had cost more than what a hardworking citizen of Midgar earned in three months. "Why that one?"

"Because she is quite ok for being a typical little rich girl. And she can dance well enough, yet not too well, so she will neither step on your feet nor push you around too much…"

"How do you know? Mind reading?"

Shaking his head, Genesis replied: "Not really. Let's just say, her parents and mine used to attend the same kind of parties; and people don't change that much in a few years."

"So you were… friends?"

"That would be too much. We were not competitors, that's all."

With a kind of worried attention, Angeal expected another one of those dark mood swings, as always when such issues came up, but this time, it did not happen. Instead, Genesis looked up at him with the expression of a cheeky little boy. "Should I go and talk to her for you?"

"Not necessary. I'm old enough to ask for a dance myself, and that's what I'll do. Even if it's just to follow an order."

Watching him making his way over and addressing the girl, Genesis found himself smiling again. 'Innocent' would normally have been the least suiting word to describe Angeal, yet tonight, it was somehow fitting. In this crowd of people, innocence is a rare, precious thing. I really hope you'll keep it...

~°oOo°oOo°oOo°~

Looking back later, Angeal would recall a lot of vivid memories of that night, but the actual dance was not one of them. In the end, it was like one of those exam situations: before, you spent all of your time panicking and thinking of all those things you could possibly do wrong and all those reasons why you were highly likely not to pass, but in the end, you stood there with your positive result in your hands and no memory of what you did to achieve it.

So the next scene he vaguely remembered later was standing right next to Genesis again after the official opening dance was over, stealing a glance of the VIP guests of tonight's event.

Although Angeal was usually not impressed by outward appearances alone, he couldn't help but feel slightly uneasy whenever he caught a glimpse of President Shinra himself. This was surely not due to the fact that the President was such an impressive looking man. Quite the opposite, people usually stated that the Planet's most influential industrialist was in fact a man you would not have remembered after your first meeting, if he hadn't had a special way to make a lasting impression.

At the very moment, the president was obviously trying to be charming and impress the young girl he was talking to with his social skills.

"I will be damned if that is really his niece…" Genesis whispered scarcely audible. He had felt surprisingly well tonight, compared to the last weeks, right until now. Unable to tell what exactly had caused it, he registered the slight feeling of nausea with a mixture of acceptance and irritation. It must be the dancing, it has to be…

"You doubt it?" Angeal returned equally low.

"I hope for her sake she isn't. For the way he looks at her makes me sick, seriously."

Those words came out surprisingly harsh, and Angeal intuitively turned to look at him. To his surprise, he was unable to read the expression on Genesis' face. It vaguely resembled disgust, but there was something else hidden beneath it.

Yet in this moment, Angeal chose not to ponder on it. "Anyway, I doubt anything could ruin my mood tonight. I survived so far, thanks to you, which means you are officially my very personal hero."

Genesis returned a very flattered version of his famous 'you got to be kidding me' glance. "Oh please, how many times did you try to teach me something? It usually takes ages or I still can't do it properly in the end. Either way, that's endlessly more effort."

"But you really saved me. Let me make up for that. Name your price."

The reply came with another amused chuckle. "If you insist… You could get me something to drink."

"That's all?"

Once again, Genesis' eyes actually seemed to sparkle. "Sometimes I can be pretty modest… Better don't get used to it, though."

"Noted. So, what would you like? Please make it something I can actually pronounce properly."

"The sort of drink that is hardest to get on a fancy gathering like this: plain water."

Angeal frowned in return. "Now you are kidding me..."

To his surprise, the smile playing on Genesis' lips vanished. "I'm not. As a matter of fact, I'm still on medication, the kind you should not mix with alcohol. And besides, I never have been fond of overly much champagne. It has the nasty habit to get into my head too fast..."

"Well, your wish is my command. Water it is then." He gave Genesis a smile, an actual effort to get the same expression back in return. "Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back."

It worked. With a tiny curl of his lips, Genesis returned. "Take your time. I have no desire to go anywhere else."

~°oOo°oOo°oOo°~

"Just water? Are you sure?" The barkeeper looked at him as if he had demanded something out of President's Shinra's private too-expensive–to-be-true collection.

Angeal raised an eyebrow. He wanted to return something, but a voice from the background was faster: "Are you saying you have trouble getting this officer here something that every run-down night club in Sector eight would serve for free?"

The barkeeper assumed an arrogant expression. "Are you trying to compare tonight's event to an ordinary bar visit in downtown Midgar?"

"Not at all. For I never discussed my orders there before. I always got what I wanted straight away." David Garcia sighed audibly, before he said in a lower voice, as if he was talking only to Angeal: "I wonder if President Shinra knows how hard it is for a First Class to get a simple glass of water here... Maybe someone should mention that to him."

This remark was followed by an instant, very obedient: "Excuse me, Sirs. I never said that. Just a minute..."

"Es de lo que no hay," Garcia muttered in his native language, while he slowly shook his head. Then he looked at Angeal with a slightly teasing expression and added in accentless, standard Continental: "Tired of the fancy stuff already? Not that I can't understand, but water? Honestly... That's not like you at all."

"Well, I guess this whole event tonight isn't exactly like me. But if it puts your mind at ease, the order is not for me."

The other SOLDIER cast him an appreciative glance. "I hope she's pretty. If you get in this kind of trouble for her."

Pretty indeed, but if 'she' was here right now, you would be the one in trouble...

Before Angeal could reply, the bartender returned with the promised glass of water. He handed it over almost demonstratively, and Angeal thanked him politely, before turning back to his fellow SOLDIER. "Anyway, I'd like to thank you for helping out earlier. Muchas gracias."

With a wave of the hand, Garcia replied: "No hay de qué." He looked at Angeal for a moment, before he added: "And any friend of Dean's is still my friend. Though I don't suppose you have heard anything of him either?"

Dean. Damián Fernando Marquez, more precisely. The very name Angeal hadn't heard, spoken or even thought of for quite a while now… "Not a word. But after all, he was never the type to write letters in his spare time, was he?"

"That's not an acceptable excuse. A man of honour doesn't simply forget his friends, no matter how massive his workload is."

'You and David Garcia, you are friends, right?' – 'Not really. We come from the same town, so that makes us something like brothers.'

'Isn't that even more than friends?' –'No, it isn't. You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your brothers. Think about it.'

Garcia interrupted Angeal's thoughts again: "How long since they promoted him to commander of that goddess-forsaken place in the middle of nowhere?"

Ages… "Two years, if I remember correctly."

"His sister told me she spoke to him on the phone about a month ago. By the sound of it, he's not counting the days yet."

"Now that is exactly like him…"

~°oOo°oOo°oOo°~

Meanwhile, Genesis was still waiting for Angeal. Lost in his thoughts, he had turned to the wall to study one of those large paintings President Shinra's interior decorator was obviously quite fond of.

Trying to recall the situation later, he had no idea where that feeling had suddenly come from. It was the eerie impression of being watched, of feeling another person staring at him so intensely that it was neither an abstract idea nor a hallucination, but some sort of dark knowledge. As soon as he turned around, he would face that pair of eyes, he knew it precisely, but for some reason, he could not. He was frozen to the ground, unable to move, unable to breathe even. And finally, the initial feeling was replaced by something else…

Genesis had no real experience with breaking into a frozen lake. He had been much too scared by all the stories of drowned children and even grown-ups who didn't live to regret trusting the deceiving security of a newly formed ice surface. Still, in a phase of morbid fascination, he had spend hours standing next to a small pond in early winter, looking at the still dangerously thin ice cover and the dark water beneath it, imagining what it would be like. And for some reason beyond his control, this was the very illustration his desperately searching mind came up with in this moment.

It felt exactly like being drawn under water without being able to move or to even try and struggle against the dark mass closing above his head. His body was sinking deeper and deeper, he could feel it, the cold, the void, the way his very being was screaming for air. All other sounds seemed to have vanished, there was nothing but deadly silence around him. The claustrophobic feeling reached an almost painful intensity, and in that very moment, there was a sound. A low grating sound, like a breaking mirror, or splitting ice, a sound that belonged to the image of creaks starting to form on a smooth surface, extending and multiplying like a giant spider web, until everything would turn into an explosion of vicious, tiny shards. With a frightening certainty, he became aware of the fact that the sound seemed to be located in his head, actually being more a sensation than an audible event. Something inside his mind was about to break, right now. Oh Goddess, no…

But the world around him did not explode. And than, suddenly, as unexpected as it had started, the feeling disappeared again. Only now Genesis realized that his left hand rested against the wall, as if he had reached out for some sort of hold, some sort of anchor to reality in sheer desperation. What's wrong with me? Not a single panic attack during all of last week, and now that?

Before he could come up with an answer, a familiar voice asked the very same question: "Gen? What's wrong?"

Looking up as his best friend, Genesis tried to show a reassuring smile. "I just… feel a bit dizzy, that's all." He tried to ignore the raging feeling of sickness that had taken hold of him again, proving this sentence untrue in an almost painful way. For a few seconds, Genesis tried to come to terms with the fact that he was actually close to throwing up. That's not going to happen, not here, not in front of all those people. I'd rather die…

In a voiceless command, Angeal handed him the glass of water.

Genesis took a few slow sips. The ice cold liquid running down his throat was strangely calming, despite the fact that it reminded him of what had happened just moments ago. That vision – for the lack of a better word - still had a frightening hold over him, like some kind of nightmare that can't be erased completely by turning on the light.

Apparently, his expression gave him away far too clearly, as Angeal cast him a slightly worried glance, before he reached out for his arm. "Come on; let's get out off here for a while."

Before Genesis could voice any word of protest, Angeal had lead him across the hall, out off the door, into another room and out on a balcony. When Angeal let go of his arm, Genesis walked up to the balustrade, leaned slightly against it and took a few deep breaths. With a close to embarrassing sort of relief, he registered that he could actually breathe, much easier than inside the crowded hall. The air had become chilly, indicating that the colder time of the year was slowly approaching. Feeling cold was actually one of Genesis' most hated sensations, but in this very moment, he did not seem to mind.

The balcony on this high level of the Shinra tower offered a great view over the city, lying there bathed in the artificial greenish-white glow of the Mako-created lighting. But right now, Genesis ignored that sight and threw a glance up to the sky above them, followed by a soft sigh of disappointment. During all those years he had seen the dark grey night sky over the metropolis by now, he still hadn't gotten used to the fact that you couldn't even see the trace of a star in it, due to the brightness of the city lights underneath and the fact that the steam from the Mako reactors veiled it like a thick cloth. If you were lucky, you could make out a very pale moon, but not more.

Still looking at the empty sky above them, Genesis hadn't even realized that he had put his hands on the cold steel construction, not until an intense feeling of warmth suddenly covered his left hand. There was no need to look down and find out where this sensation had come from. In return and almost without thinking, Genesis let go of the balustrade to turn his hand around and close it lightly around Angeal's.

"Actually, this is like something out of a very bad romance novel. Balcony, night, you and me alone… The only thing that's really missing here is some stars."

With a tiny smile playing on his lips, Genesis returned: "My thoughts exactly. This would be so romantic if it wasn't Midgar. How I hate that city!"

Neither of them spoke for a while, until Angeal suddenly voiced an unexpected question: "Are you happy?"

Genesis looked at him with a slight frown. "What do you mean?"

"As in: Are you happy with the current situation? With… us?"

"Of course I am. Why do you ask?"

"Sometimes, you seem so..." Terrified. Scared. "... insecure." Angeal waited for a second, before he added: "If there is a problem, you know you we can talk about it."

Turning his head back again, Genesis took another deep breath. "Actually, the whole problem is that I'm still thinking too much."

"Mind sharing those thoughts with me?"

"Most of them are... weird."

"I don't mind."

"I keep asking myself all those questions... What if we have this relationship and it doesn't work out? Say, we get fed up with each other. What then?" Genesis still kept his eyes focused on the city and the faint greenish glow hovering above it.

After another moment of silence, Angeal stated calmly: "If you really want to approach that topic rationally, let me ask you a question in return: We have known each other for over twelve years now. How many times in these twelve years were you fed up with me?"

"Well, actually…"

"I mean fed up as in 'I never want to see this guy again, as long as I live', and that state lasting for more than a few days."

A tiny smile appeared on Genesis' lips. "I guess never…"

"How many other people do you think could say that?" It was a rhetoric question. Still, Angeal paused, before he added: "If there one thing I always knew with absolute certainty, it is that we were supposed to be friends forever. In case this goes wrong, I think we will simply go back to being friends again."

"Are you sure that's not easier said than done?"

"All I'm sure of is that I don't want to lose you, and that I can't imagine a life without you by my side. Only time will show if we were meant to be friends or lovers, but it's one or the other, I just know it. And as a matter of fact, I can live with both options, although I would clearly prefer one of them."

Genesis trembled inwardly. The intensity of the situation made him feel extremely light headed. Maybe this was right time to voice something that had been bothering him for quite some time now, ever since they 'officially' got together. "I can feel that, too, you know. There is a connection between us, something that was meant to be, just as you said, and I'm about to try and find out how deep that runs exactly." He looked at Angeal with a shy smile playing on his lips that made him look like a little boy again. "It's like I'm standing right next to a very old well and just threw a stone in. I've been waiting for the sound long enough to know that it is really deep, deeper than I expected…" He paused.

"Does that frighten you?" Angeal inquired into the silence.

Genesis still seemed completely lost in his thoughts, so when he replied, it wasn't to answer the previous question. "However, there is something else you should know." He swallowed hard, before he decided that it was now or never. "Angeal, I…"

In that very second, the pager function on Angeal's mobile set in.

Now that's really something taken straight from a bad novel… "Hold that thought, precious. I'm right back." He studied the number on his phone briefly, before pressing the redial button. It was short conversation, just a few words were exchanged, but Genesis realized how Angeal's frown deepened. He sighed and shifted his gaze once again to the city lying beneath them.

"Ok, then I'll see you in five," he heard Angeal say.

"Trouble?" A lightly thrown-in question.

"Not worth mentioning actually. Incom is playing up again, no real expert around and no one has the desire to ask the Turks for help." 'Incom' was the abbreviation for 'Internal Communication', the radio system allowing the military forces on duty to keep contact with each other. "So they decided that Austin should go and reset the main server. But he is obviously not allowed to leave his position, or he can't be bothered and used a not very creative excuse to ask me. Unfortunately, I still owe Austin for taking over my last night shift."

"So what are you waiting for?"

Angeal looked at him slightly reproachful. Isn't that obvious? "You wanted to tell me something."

"It's not that important." Genesis tried to keep his voice steady and convincing. Maybe I should never have raised that issue in the first place. Maybe this was a sign.

"Neither is that task. It's not a phase-red-emergency."

"We both know that sadly enough, our job will always come first."

"Am I supposed to hear a trace of bitterness here?"

"Not at all. I knew what I was signing up for; and I guess the same goes for you." He looked at Angeal with an honest intensity. "Besides, I prefer to wait until I have your undivided attention. You know, I'm a very possessive person."

Well, so am I. "In that case, I will make it very clear to those guys that I won't be available for the rest of the night, unless there is a real emergency, of course. You will get my undivided attention, as fast as possible." He paused. "Are you coming inside, too?"

Genesis shook his head. "Not yet. I need a few more minutes."

"Don't make it too long. It's starting to get unpleasantly chilly. I know: superior immune system, just another Mako-derived advantage, so catching a cold is pretty unlikely. Still, quite a few things happened recently, and I don't want you to take chances."

Surprisingly calm for the fact that Angeal was trying to 'mother' him again, Genesis returned: "I promise I won't. Now hurry, before those guys get all upset." And with an even softer tone, he added: "And the sooner you go, the sooner you'll be back."

That sentence earned him a very affectionate glance. "I so adore your logic."

Genesis watched him leaving. Before he reached out to open the door, Angeal turned around to look at him again. The light from the inside floated around him like a halo, and for a moment, Genesis was far too mesmerized to smile back.

When he was finally alone, Genesis leaned back against the balustrade again, tilted his head back and sighed softly. No stars. That looks so depressing. So… cold. And empty. Just like my life before I met you…

He remembered that Angeal had picked him up at night quite a few times, back then when they were still children. There had been times when his parents had not allowed him to leave the house during the day, so he would sneak out at night, the only chance to meet with his best friend. Despite the chill of the air around him, he could almost feel the soft gentle breeze of those warm summer nights, when they would just sit there, talk about nothing and everything, looking up to the stars, to the sheer vastness of the sky above them. Sometimes, Genesis had felt so unimportant and small that he had been unable to breathe. Occasionally, Angeal would point out the different constellations to him, and tell him about their meanings, and at very rare occasions, he would reach out for Genesis' hand, point towards a falling star and say: 'Look, Gennie. Another chance to wish for something.'

If there was a falling star right now, what would I wish for? He had no idea where that question had come from so suddenly, and why he came up with an answer virtually out of nowhere, without hesitation or thinking: I wish I could be the person you deserve.

Translation: As promised for the Spanish bits… I don't have to translate "Muchas gracias", have I?

"Es de lo que no hay" means "He's incredible." and "No hay de qué." something like "You're welcome." or "Never mind."

Final-minor-by-the-way: Because someone really wanted me to add that… (satisfied now? ;) I'm not a fan of Paramore, but there seem to be a few parallels between a song of theirs and a scene in this chapter (which was not intended. I didn't even know that song when I wrote it. However, I pointed out the – in my eyes – most obvious parallel down there... if you want to look for more, listen to the song...)

You know I'm suffocating
But I blame this town

Why do I deny
The things that burn inside?
Down deep I'm barely breathing
But you just see a smile

(Paramore, "Adore")