Chapter 5

Los Angeles

Los Angeles General Hospital

June 2nd

1: 00 am

"Good evening, Ms. Bell. How are you feeling?"

Casey shrugged, looking at the doctor as he approached her bed. "Much better, thanks. Now, I really need to get out of here. I'm fine now, honestly."

The doctor smiled as he sat at the foot of her bed and nodded. "You're going to be discharged in a little bit, just as soon as the paperwork gets processed. Now, Ms. Bell, we ran some tests, and the results just got back. The stomach pains were due to some rather high stress levels, and you need to try and avoid stress-causing activities in the near future. Specifically, the next eight months."

Casey frowned in confusion, wondering why on the earth the doctor was smiling. "Eight months? Why? What's wrong with me?" She reached out instinctively to hold Olivia's hand for comfort, then retracted it, remembering that Olivia was in New York and had no idea she was alive. And, right now, Casey had no idea if Olivia was alive.

"Congratulations, Ms. Bell, you're pregnant."

Casey's eyes widened in shock, then horror. "Pre... pre... pregnant? What?" she whispered, struggling to breathe. "Me? I'm... pregnant? Me?" The doctor nodded and smiled again, as if this was the most glorious news in the world, but Casey didn't know if she was thrilled or devastated. She was in shock, she realized, complete and utter shock.

God. Pregnant.

The doctor was still talking, and Casey blinked and forced herself to listen. "...prenatal prescriptions, but that can all be worked out with your gynecologist. Can you give me her name, I can fax her the medical report from today's incident..."

"My gynecologist? Oh, her name's Dr. Zo..." Casey trailed off, biting her lip. Dr. Zorak had been Casey Novak's doctor. But Casey Novak was dead. "Um, you know what, I'm going to move soon anyway and have to get a new doctor, so why go to the trouble?" She chuckled lightly as if she didn't want to either cry or scream, then asked, "Look, before I'm discharged, I just need to make a few phone calls, do you know where the hospital put my clothes and stuff?"

He nodded as got up and headed to the door. "Yes, its just down the hallway. I'll get it for you."

The moment he was gone, Casey stared down at her hands in horror. God, pregnant. She was pregnant with her rapist's child. God.

And then she realized, worse than that, this child would be born with the last name Bell. Casey had never even thought about having kids, but this wasn't one scenario she had ever thought possible- bearing her rapist's child while wearing another person's disguise, far away from all the people she loved and cared for.

Abortion?

"God, no," she muttered out loud, shaking her head. No, not an abortion, God no. Casey blinked, surprised at how opposed she was to the idea. Before, she hadn't really been for it or against it. But just the thought of killing that innocent baby inside her, no matter how twisted or and screwed the events surrounding its conception and birth were and would be... she couldn't.

And that baby could be another Olivia.

The doctor walked back into her room, then, interrupting that last both hopeful and disturbing thought, and handing her a plastic bag with her clothes, watch, and cell phone. Casey thanked him and immediately dug into the bag, knowing she had to call Agent Harris about this new... development... but, first, she had a more important call to make.

Fingers trembling, she dialed the Manhattan SVU's number, praying someone would pick up, praying that their voice would send her back upon a whirlwind of beautiful memories and perfect days and nights spent with the people she loved.

"Detective Munch, Manhattan Special Victim's Unit," a tired voice answered.

"John!" The excited squeal escaped her lips before she could stop it, and she clapped a hand over her brilliant smile, trying not to scream in happiness, just at hearing the voice of one of her best friends for the first time in two months.

"Excuse me?" Munch asked, and Casey had to swallow back a sarcastic response, already yearning to jump back in at their old game and forget the nightmare that was now her life.

Clearing a throat and forcing herself to talk with an accent, Casey asked, "Um, is Detective Benson there? I need to speak with her..."

Munch hesitated, then said in confusion. "Yes, she is. Let me get her for you. Olivia! Over here!"

Casey knew she really should hang up, right now... but she couldn't. Just one word, that's how long she would wait, then she would hang up. Just one word... "Hello?" a husky voice asked, and with it came a million memories of love and peace and happiness, memories that both made her heart ache and swept her off her feet. God, she missed Olivia so much... God, she missed them all so much! "Hello, is someone there?"

Though her heart was begging her to stay on the phone and listen to Olivia, she had achieved her original purpose in calling, and quickly shut the phone with a trembling hand seconds before a sob escaped her lips. Casey allowed herself a moment of temporary release before forcing herself to become Olivia Bell once again. Ninth grade English teacher... soon-to-be single mother...

Still crying silently, Casey managed to dial Agent Harris's number, wanting to scream at somebody for getting her into this mess, and him being the only outlet available. Plus, he had to know about her pregnancy- yet another witness for them to add to their database. A sleepy voice answered, "Agent Harris."

"Um, hello. I'm one of your, ah... I'm one of your..." she hesitated, not wanting to broadcast to the whole hospital that she was in the witness protection program, when she heard a sigh of recognition through the phone.

"Ah, I understand. Go on."

Casey sighed, wiping furiously at her tears as she said, "I'm Ca... Oli... Casey... Olivia Bell? I'm the witne... person you, ah... helped after I was raped by..."

"Yes, yes, I remember. Can you please get on with it, its one in the morning!"

Swallowing nervously, she said slowly, "Well, I'm not exactly sure if you need to know this or not, but... I'm pregnant, and its... his."

There was silence, then a gasp. "Oh. Oh... listen, I'll be right down to your apartment. Stay where you are, don't move."

"Wait, I'm not-" Casey groaned when Harris hung up on her in the middle of her explanation. Oh well, he would probably call her when he got to her empty apartment, wondering where she was.

But that wasn't the problem. The problem was what the hell was she going to do now?

New York

SVU squad room

June 2nd

1: 00am

Olivia frowned, then set the phone back down on Munch's desk and yawned. "Hmm. I wonder what that was about," she said as she walked tiredly back to her desk, groaning as her arm began throbbing again.

"Who was it?" Munch asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he continued to browse through the evidence Elliot and Olivia had collected at the perp's loft.

Olivia shrugged. "Don't know, whoever it was just hung up." She sighed, and scratched at the gauze covering the gunshot wound on her shoulder. "Damn gunshot wound," she muttered under her breath. "Why the hell does being shot hurt so much?"

Munch just laughed as she trudged back to her desk. "You're a cop. You should know what it feels like to get shot."

Olivia glanced at her watch and sighed, shaking her head. "Look, I think I'm going to head on home. You'll be okay to finish up here by yourself?"

He nodded. "Yeah, sure. I think I can let you abandon me for one night- after all, you did get shot." Olivia chuckled and nodded her thanks before leaving the squad room. Munch looked after her for a moment, shaking his head. Ever since Casey's death, there had been something a little... off about her. He could tell she wasn't sleeping, and by the looks of her, her meals had consisted primarily more vodka than anything else. Sometimes, she would go pale for seemingly no reason and her eyes would shimmer with unshed tears before she regained control of herself.

It was clear she was hurting. Casey's death had devastated her in a different way then it had hurt the rest of the squad. They had all loved her, but not like Olivia had. And sometimes, when he looked at her, he wasn't so sure she was ever going to take a chance with someone again. If she would ever be able to date without feeling like she was betraying Casey.

With another sigh, Munch returned to his work, wishing he could do something to help Olivia.

New York

New Haven Cemetery

June 2nd

1: 30am

Olivia knelt down before her lover's grave, glad that it was so early in the morning. There was no one else here. She liked it that way, so she could be with Casey alone.

"Oh, Casey," she said sadly, tracing her girlfriend's name emboldened on the tombstone. "I wish you were here right now. Things suck without you, they really do. There's this new ADA, but she's nothing like you, Casey. She's a total bitch... I mean, we hated you when you first came along, but this girl... she's just annoying, Casey. She keeps popping up wanting to go with us for drinks when no one's in the mood and we would never want to go with her anyway, and she doesn't know the first thing about the law. Once, one of our perps didn't plead guilty or not guilty, he plead nolo contendere, and she didn't even know what it meant, she had to ask us."

Olivia smiled slightly and shook her head again. "But its not just that she's a complete idiot...You were good, you actually cared for the victims. She just doesn't, plain and simple. We had a rape victim last week; she withheld information about the fact that it wasn't just a man who raped her, there was also a woman, too. It didn't screw up her god damn court case at all, but she still made us arrest for obstruction. Big surprise, afterwards she changed her mind about testifying and when Walker threatened her with jail, she disappeared and we still don't know where she is."

With another sigh, Olivia started tracing patterns in the dirt, remembering other times they'd had with the new ADA. "I know we didn't like you when you first became our ADA... but you were just inexperienced in sex crimes, and we missed Alex. This new ADA... she's like nothing we've ever seen, Case. We're never ceased to be horrified at each new plan she has to make our lives miserable. And the victims aren't comfortable at all with her; they always come back to me or Elliot after a long talk with her for comfort. And closure rates are down 8%, and you've only been go... I mean, she's only been here about a month. I just... I really wish you here.

"And I know you wouldn't be happy that I got shot. I know I used to get annoyed when you got so protective of me, but, now... well, I kind of miss it. If you were here now, you'd make sure I followed the doctor's orders exactly and tonight you would hold me and use your magical ADA powers to make the pain go away." She sighed, wiping away an errant tear as she stared at Casey's grave.

"Oh, Case. I wish you were alive. I miss you so much."

Los Angeles

Olivia Bell's Apartment

June 2nd

1: 30 am

Casey stormed into her apartment, arriving at the same time Agent Harris. The moment the door was shut, she turned on him and shouted, "How the hell is this possible?"

Harris blinked in surprise, then asked slowly, "Um... I don't-"

"I was out for two days after that bastard raped me, you should of made sure I got the morning after pill! How the hell did this happen?" she demanded, glaring at him furiously. Under normal circumstances, she would have been pleased by the fact that she was obviously intimidating him, but now she was too riled up to care.

"Um..." he said nervously. "Well, I did some thinking while I was driving over here, and the hospital in New York must not of taken care of it before I got you transferred to Kansas, and-"

"Isn't it your god damn job to protect me? How could you not make sure I got the morning after pill?" Casey shouted, resisting the urge to strangle the bastard right then and there.

"I didn't think about it at the time, and-"

"And now I'm pregnant! Nice job, Agent Harris! Now, if you don't mind, I want out! I want to go back home, screw Taylor Smith! I'm going to get on a plane and go back to New York, because I'm not going to give birth to my baby in this god damn program, and don't even suggest abortion or I will slap your face off."

Harris's eyes widened, then he raised his hands and said quickly, "Wait, wait, Casey, don't do that! We know Smith is somewhere in Connecticut, he won't get out of the state and-"

"Oh, he won't get out of the state, will he? So there's no problem with me going back to New York? Wonderful, I'm on my way." Casey got up and started to leave, but Harris grabbed her wrist and pulled her back, glaring at her.

"Casey, you know it doesn't work like that. But going back to New York now won't change anything. I promise, you'll get to go home, just... not right now. Please, just give us some time," he begged.

Casey hesitated, then grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and snarled in his face, "You know how long I'm giving you? Eight months. Then I am going back to New York with my baby, and nothing you say can convince me otherwise." Harris opened his mouth to reply, but Casey cut him off. "No, Agent Harris, you don't even try to stop me. You and your fancy agents can hide me so well, then you can find Taylor Smith- and I don't care if you can't. If I give birth to this baby and you haven't found him yet, I'm going back home." She glared at him for another second, then tossed open the door and practically threw him out. "And stay out Olivia Bell's apartment," she sneered before slamming the door in his face.

Casey remained standing in the middle of the empty room for a second, then hung her head and trudged slowly back to the bedroom. God, pregnant. God.

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