A/N: Yay for update! I actually wanted to publish this before going on my little England trip (my first proper holidays in three years!), but something about this chapter just didn't sound right… It just refused to 'flow' at that point; and now – over a week later - I sincerely hope I was able to fix it (not too sure, actually… as usual ;).
Before I start complaining endlessly, I will just turn to the dedication, ok? This chapter goes to an amazing young talent, my beloved beta-writer (is there a proper expression for the person you beta-read for?) and friend who goes by the penname The Talented Mr Kipling. (If you want to read her story, you can find it on my favourite's list.)
My dearest,
Here it finally is: your chapter. It contains a bit of everything - drama, suspense, science and even traces of romance – and I really hope you like it.
Let me tell you once again that I'm endlessly glad we met (now even in person), and that I am so honoured and proud to be your beta. You have so much talent, sweetie, and I hope you'll continue to write for a long time.
Keep that inner light shining, it brightens everything – even London on a grey and rainy day ^_^
A big bunch of *hugs* - followed a piece of writing solely for you.
~°oOo°oOo°oOo°~
'Times'? No, that's not it… but it had something to do with time…
He felt the almost childish urge to do something with his hands in that moment, some sort of mechanic, repetitive gesture he normally would not even be aware of. Odd, but it seemed to help with thinking. Just like walking around, but he wasn't even allowed to get up yet.
Hours that are… 'years', maybe? Could be, but I'm pretty sure the word had two syllables. And it was more sophisticated than that...
No matter how hard he tried, his thoughts refused to cooperate. Just like his hand, actually. With a trace of anxiety he realized how much effort it took to move his fingers ever so slightly.
It shouldn't be that difficult at all… just like recalling that single missing word. For Gaia's sake, I never had any trouble with poems ten times as long…
Blue eyes flashed open and gazed upon the brightness of the plain white ceiling above, without taking in any of it. His thoughts still drifted, partially trying to concentrate on retrieving the missing word, the simple sequence of letters that would finally make the whole sentence valid and meaningful, partially already turning away from that futile effort. One of those neon tubes in the room seemed to have a minor defect, and another part of his mind had registered the low, irregular buzzing sound caused by it a while ago. Paying too much attention to it turned out to be irritating, almost painful, so he tried to focus back on the previous task while closing his eyes again, trying to eliminate all those outside influences.
Let's start from the very beginning once more…
For a few moments, his mind was completely blank and he felt sheer hot panic welling up like a flood wave of boiling water.
For Gaia's sake, stop behaving like a hysterical girl. Everything is fine. You can do it if you just concentrate hard enough, so get yourself together, will you?
He tried to calm and took a deep breath. And then suddenly, the words came back, one after the other, like a perfect string of pearls.
Stars, you are unfortunate, I pity you/Beautiful as you are, shining in your glory/Who guide seafaring men through stress and peril/And have no recompense from gods or mortals…
Here he paused briefly, but not because he had trouble recalling the next line. He knew it precisely, because it had always been his favourite passage in the whole poem, so he tried to savour it like the panoramic view over a beautiful landscape. Or a starry midnight sky, for that matter.
Love you do not, nor do you know what love is.
Another brief pause of not more than a single heartbeat.
Hours that are…
And he was stuck again. That one missing word was like a huge abyss he just couldn't get over. Annoying - but not something that had never happened before. Strictly spoken, it was a habit that went back as far as his childhood. Whenever Genesis had no idea what else to do, he would recite lines of poetry over and over on his mind, something that seemed to fight severe boredom just as well as nervousness. Today, he was more anxious than bored, although he was trying his best not to admit that, not even to himself. Lying here once again seemed like an odd déjà-vu of the first time he had been in that situation, almost exactly two weeks ago. However, all he wanted was to break that vicious circle, to avoid an exact repetition at any cost, especially the part with the panic attack, though the mere thought of it already seemed to increase the risk. Still this time, he would not fall asleep, no matter what. A difficult undertaking, as time seemed to refuse to pass in linear movements within this room. Once again, Genesis was unable to tell how much of it had passed already, but it seemed like he had been in this place for hours. Years. Decades. Aeons… A tiny smile appeared on his lips.
That's it. I knew it was something old fashioned and rather antique… Hours that are aeons urgently conducting/Your figures in a dance through the vast heaven…
The last line briefly created an image in front of his closed eyes, the image of the vast but empty midnight sky over Midgar. Maybe the still very present memory from the night of the Company Ball had caused him to turn to this specific poem in the first place. Because it was about stars. And about… He didn't even finish the thought, but an odd feeling of warmth took hold of his entire body.
What journey have you ended in this moment, /Since lingering in the arms of my beloved/I…
Suddenly, something else happened. Like storm clouds unexpectedly appearing in a clear sky, his mood turned from mellow to confused in the split of a second. The words no longer came up in a neat order, but fast and disturbing, like flashes of lightning.
I. Memory. Lost. I lost. Me. My memory. I…
It took all his strength to pry open his eyes again. Thankfully, the train of unconnected thoughts stopped immediately, like cut off. For some minutes, he had to concentrate hard to calm to frantic beating of his heart. Yet again.
Just like last time… Almost exactly like last time… but worse. Why is this happening to me? Why?
The thoughts seemed to spin in his head, close to getting entirely mixed up like threads of wool in a knitting basket after a playful cat had jumped in.
Ok. Calm down. Let's look at this rationally for a change. So when did this whole panic-attack thing start? Exactly two weeks ago, during my first appointment here? Or was it just my mind playing tricks on me? However, the second incident later that day definitely wasn't normal. So two weeks ago. What changed back then? It can't be the Mako. I've never reacted to Mako like this before. Nightmares, ok, but never in that intensity. So what is different this time?
Just like with the poetry before, his thoughts refused to cooperate. Yet he knew there had to be rational explanation, there had to be, because the alternative was just too frightening.
No, I won't lose it, I won't go crazy… There is a solution; I just haven't found it yet. But I will. Sweet merciful Goddess, I will.
And finally, he whispered the words, the missing last line, like a spell to fight off those demons around him: "I lost all memory of you and midnight."
Those words were met only by silence.
~°oOo°oOo°oOo°~
The next thing Genesis registered was the sound of footfall. Painfully ordinary, nothing unusual, yet the way it strangely echoed in his head was far from calming. What had happened to him anyway? Had he fallen asleep again? He decided that the answer did not matter, not at the moment being, and concentrated on opening his eyes instead. Annoyingly enough, the simple process still took an enormous amount of effort. For a few seconds, his vision was blurred, but then it focused with the extreme and almost inhuman precision of an expensive digital devise.
The eyes looking down on him were of a grey-brown colour, a pretty shade reminding of pebbles in a river bed.
"Congratulation, Lieutenant," Dr. Marco announced, far too cheerful and just a tad too loud for Genesis' taste.
"Congratulation? What for?" he returned, surprise by the raspy sound of his own voice. His throat felt dry, and speaking was highly uncomfortable.
"Well, first of all for your outstanding improvement during the last two weeks. And in addition, there is more good news this time: it seems like your fondest wish might be granted."
"Which would be?"
"To stay clear of the Science Department for the next few weeks. Even months, if we are extremely lucky. How does that sound?"
Genesis managed a forced smile. "Too good to be true, if you ask me."
"Well, you won't get rid of me that easily. I'll have a few more checks to run during the next days, but we can at least stay in the medical department for that. Isn't that what you secretly hoped for?"
"Am I that predictable?"
The man in the white coat just smiled back at him. "Actually, you are not. Not at all. But I just assumed you were not different than any of my other patients in that matter."
Finally, one thing that's not different about me. Wow. Genesis tried to turn down those bitter thoughts immediately. It worked, but only because he noticed something else right in the very same minute. Had the light of those neon tubes been that intense before? He suddenly felt extremely light headed, almost nauseous, and for the first time today, he was happy that he was still lying down.
"So how are you feeling, compared to last week?"
Worse. A lot worse. "Better, actually." It was such an obvious lie that he was scared his opposite could see right through it. Although his voice surely would not give him away, he was afraid his body would.
Dr. Marco looked at him a moment in intense concentration, and Genesis returned the gaze as calm and stoic as he could.
"Are you sure? No other problems I should know about?" To see his patient hesitate for a brief moment was enough to tell the physician all he needed to know. "Even though it is part of my job, I'm not too fond of repetitions. Still, I'd like to point out once more that I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong. And we both know something is, don't we?"
Do I really dare to admit it? "I'm just a bit confused. These injections... they are not exactly like a normal Mako-update, are they?"
"That's right. Therefore, you might have realized that the medication you are currently on is not the usual as well."
And for the second time this day, there was an instant flash of 'that's it', like an illuminated sign on Genesis' mind. Angeal had once told him that intense concentration on the problem sometimes didn't help at all. 'Occasionally, you are just standing too close,' he had said. 'All it takes is a step back, and suddenly you see what was there all along.'
"So what exactly is different about that medication? Compared to the usual, I mean." Genesis knew that hardly anything a SOLDIER was given qualified as 'usual', including medical treatment. Not even the strongest ordinary pain killer would have had any effect on Mako-caused headaches. Joining the unit, you had to get used to many things, dealing with improved senses, Mako-treatments and their side-effects, to mention but a few of the most obvious ones. You also had to live with the fact that a lot of things were never explained to you, like the exact way Mako worked within your body, or how the initial treatment was done. Just as well, you were hardly ever told what kind of medication you received, or for what purpose. All those details were part of the Company's best kept secret, and only few people had a clearance level high enough to know more about it than just minor details.
"Actually, the only thing that really qualifies as unusual is one minor component." Stephen Marco took a minute to elaborate his options. He knew that he was not supposed to talk about certain things, yet at the same time, he had never seen the reasons behind this interdiction anyway. And talking about whatever gave him at least the chance to watch his patient for a few minutes longer. He was quite sure that the young man in front of him was not feeling as well as he had claimed to before, the feverish glance in his eyes, the pale face and the visible onset of cold sweat gave him away far too clearly. "As you know, you have a past history of reacting quite badly to changes in your Mako level. Despite all research and scientific effort in that direction, the Science Department has not yet come up with a way to lower the body's resistance to Mako; so some sort of natural tolerance is still one of the most important criteria in selecting candidates for SOLDIER. Anyway, even a person who has such an accredited tolerance can develop overreactions to the substance, most of the time due to a sudden overactive response of the immune system. Up to a certain degree, such effects can be limited in the classical way, by using immune suppression medication. The disadvantage is not only that this lowers the efficiency of the patient's immune system, which is not really a desirable fact, not even if we are talking about a very advanced immune system anyway, but also that it just suppresses the symptoms and does not eliminate the cause. There has been research for an alternative based on the effectiveness of antihistamines for a while, but scientists are not sure if this will be the breakthrough, or just another dead end. Anyway, I'm sure that sounds pretty boring to you, doesn't it?"
Genesis showed another weak smile. It got harder to concentrate on the conversation by the minute, still he bravely did so.
"To come to the point why this concerns you: Part of your current medication is a substance in its try-out-stage which is considered to lower the intensity of those side effects and proved quite effective so far." Although no one has an exact idea why it is working yet… He omitted that part of the story, because he was sure that the Science Department would not be pleased with him passing on such restricted information. Seeing the slight frown on his patient's face, he hurried to add: "Don't worry, that is not supposed to say you are used as some sort of guinea pig here. There was absolutely no risk involved, the dose is extremely low, so it would either be completely ineffective or turn out to be helpful. Since your case is rather severe, Science was convinced it might do good rather than harm you."
"So… does 'no risk' mean that there are no side effects?"
Stephen Marco hesitated for a moment. "Every drug has side effects. Usually, the positive effect outweighs the possible negative one though."
A thought started to form on Genesis' mind. "I don't intend to criticize or challenge anything you and your colleagues have done in that matter; I am in no position to do so and we both know that. Still, could you tell me what those side effects are? Honestly?"
"It's a lot less dramatic than what you might expect. As far as I'm informed, it is known to cause mood swings, dizziness, mild apathy - or in rare cases the opposite, something like anxiety fits. Very lively dreams and such, nothing too serious."
I knew it. There is a solution after all, a really simple one. "I know how odd this might sound, but if I said I don't want to be on this specific medication anymore, would there be a chance to do that?"
Now Dr. Marco showed a frown. "I guess you'd have to tell me why first of all."
Genesis knew that he had no other choice. Even if it was damaging his pride, he had to admit the problem. Or at least part of it. "You just mentioned vivid dreams. I started suffering from those, almost exactly two weeks ago. As you said, nothing dramatic, but I keep waking up several times at night, which seriously affects my performance during the day. And if it's just for the Mako-level-side effects, it's not necessary, is it?"
"That's right. It is not an obligatory drug, so Shinra will not use its power to insist you take it. In the end, it is your choice; still, as your physician, I have to inform you that if you decide not to take it anymore, you might instantly start to suffer from the usual adverse reactions, like after any standard Mako-update. And judging from your medical records, it could get quite… let's say 'nasty'. Considering this, are you completely sure?"
No, I'm not. But at least those symptoms are something I'm used to. I have to get rid of these panic attacks, at any cost. "Truth be told, I am."
"You can sit up now." For a moment, it seemed as if Marco was trying to change the topic. While Genesis slowly set up – he had learned his lesson from last time well enough – the physician was taking something out of a drawer, a sheet of paper, which he carefully attached to his clipboard.
Meanwhile, Genesis carefully tried to access how he felt. It turned out to be yet another difficult task. His mind was extremely calm, satisfied that the problem would be finally solved and everything would soon be normal again. His body, on the other hand, felt extremely weak, and his hands trembled slightly. Every movement he made deliberately created the impression of something automatic and unreal, like sleepwalking, and was followed by some strange sort of pain, similar to the one caused by sore muscles.
He had been so concentrated that he hardly realized that Dr. Marco had returned to his side, handing him the clipboard. "If you are still sure about what you just told me, you should read through that carefully and sign it. Don't worry, it's just…"
"A standard procedure, I know," Genesis finished the sentence.
"Exactly. Invented by the caring Shinra Legal Department to prevent even the slightest chance of a malpractice lawsuit. In addition, you have to realize of course that you can't just stop taking that medication from one day to the next. We'll reduce it slowly over the next three days."
"Thank you."
"No need to thank me. Even in this company, there is still something like free will, you know." Speaking those words, Stephen Marco knew that his patient could only wonder where that trace of bitterness came from.
~°oOo°oOo°oOo°~
Without any noticeable sound, the automatic door opened and he stepped through it. Right now, he should have felt excited, relieved at last. But for some reason, Genesis was far too exhausted for any such emotions. He felt numb, a condition he normally hated more than anything else. After the door had slid shut again, he leaned against the wall right next to it and closed his eyes for a moment. Strangely enough, his breathing was heavy, as if he had been running a considerable length, not just walking down a single hallway at normal speed. He waited a bit longer before he slowly opened his eyes, and realized instantly that he was not alone.
Angeal's glance showed some sort of calm interest, combined with a hint of worry and a calculating expression as if he was trying to evaluate the best possible reaction to the situation. An unvoiced 'Are you ok?' was basically hanging in the air.
How can it be that the presence of every other person would feel endlessly embarrassing, but seeing you here does not? In fact, it's even comforting… Genesis forced himself to show a smile, before he pushed off and walked towards his friend.
The very way he did so would have looked normal to everyone else. However, Angeal realized instantly that Genesis' movements were extremely careful and even more weightless than usual, as if he was in pain - or severe discomfort at least - and trying to avoid anything that could increase it. Therefore, Angeal fought down the immediate urge to touch him when Genesis stopped only a few inches away. So close, yet oddly out of reach.
For a moment, neither of them spoke. Angeal concentrated on Genesis' eyes again, because he knew that no matter how hard his friend would try to hide it, they would give away his true condition. The pupils showed a standard Mako-related narrowing, a minor detail only a close observer or a person very used to those signs would have realized, and the surrounding blue seemed even brighter than usual, but in an unnatural way, like illuminated by a strange inner light. It was as if those eyes entirely consisted of stained glass; a sight of rare, intriguing beauty, but scary at the same time. Apart from that haunting glow, the eyes were terribly blank, reminding of marbles or gem stones rather than of something that belonged to a living being. All the fire, all the life that usually filled Genesis' glance had vanished.
"Do I have that scary look again?" A soft spoken question, in a tone that contained all the emotion the eyes seemed to be missing. And even before Angeal could answer, the voice continued: "Don't bother not telling, I know I have. No wonder, it's exactly how I feel like."
"So how do you feel like?"
"Dead. Dead tired, to be precise. Wasn't like this last time…"
That's true. Last time, you were so easily able to pretend that it had been just an ordinary medical check-up… "I'm not really a scientist, but I guess that's due to the fact that it was the second Mako-injection in such a short time, and those two separate doses combined come close to a regular standard update."
"Maybe, but after all, it's not comparable to one of those, because if it was, they would have kept me there for the next 12 hours. So this is no reason to break your promise." Genesis had assumed an absent expression, and his voice was steady, but slower than usual.
"Precious, you are drifting…" Angeal returned, out of habit. When Genesis was very tired, but still trying to keep up a conversation, it usually turned out like this. He'd jump from one topic to the next in the same way his thoughts did, a behaviour Angeal referred to as 'drifting'. In this case, he must be tired indeed.
"You said you wouldn't take the afternoon off just because of me," Genesis continued, as if he hadn't really registered the interruption.
"And I didn't. I'm still on duty; I just rescheduled a few things, so I could pick you up and make sure you were ok."
With any other person, Genesis would have felt uncomfortable in this moment, weak, hurt and uncomfortable, but with Angeal, it was different. So different. As a matter of fact, Genesis didn't like to be touched in general, and in a state like this, touch was the equivalent to pain. Yet right here and now, it seemed not only bearable, but actually more than welcome, even desired…
Angeal showed him a smile, which Genesis tried to mirror, so successfully that something like life returned to those empty doll-like eyes, a glimmer besides the artificial Mako-induced glow.
"Don't worry, if you want, you can return the favour right after my next Mako-update. As you know, I'm quite fond of having you around…"
It was that worried affection shown so clearly in Angeal's eyes that made Genesis finally understand what that strange sensation of warmth he had noticed for quite some time was all about. You should finally stop worrying about the question what love is supposed to feel like. Because the answer is: like this. Exactly like this. For a moment, all he could do was return Angeal's glance, and marvel at the miracle of it all, the sheer flawless perfection. How is it possible to fall so completely for someone, and get the same commitment in return? This is like something out of a novel, something that is not supposed to happen in real life. Not to me of all people, for I do not deserve it. And yet...
"Gen? Gennie? Are you ok?" This time, Angeal did not even try to hide his concern anymore, and as if to underline it, he raised his arm, not much, but enough to be able to react even faster in case of another breakdown. But that would not happen. Not this time.
"I'm fine," Genesis replied softly. He reached out to rest his hand on an Angeal's arm, before he added: "Don't worry… from now on, it can only get better."
~°oOo°oOo°oOo°~
It had been another very ordinary day in the Shinra Medical Department. No grave accidents, no urgent support requests from almighty Science. So when he heard the sound of the door opening behind him, Stephen Marco did not even bother to look up from the file he was reading. He was used to people simply dropping in either for a chat, to ask for advice or to report an emergency; and since the person who had just entered had not been addressing him so far, he assumed it was surely not a case of the latter. Still, he was in for a surprise.
"Have you any idea what have you done?" That simple question, foreshadowing it was not an ordinary visit at all, caused the young physician to spin around almost at once. Maybe it was the tone that did it, partly reproachful, partly sad and partly completely unmoved, as if the other was just stating a scientific fact.
And the same lack of emotion also filled the man's face. Looking at him, Marco knew at once who he was, there was no mistake possible. He just wondered what an elite scientist was doing in the 'lower spheres' of an ordinary physician's office, but he hid that surprise carefully, based on a very vague idea that surfaced almost immediately. There was just one single detail connecting the other's work to his own, and Marco would be damned is that suspicion was unjustified, but equally if he would show it that openly.
In a far too casual tone, he returned: "Good morning, Professor Hollander. It's an honour to welcome you in my humble study. As for the reason of your visit you just pointed out, I think you might have to explain that to me in more detail. It's not like I messed with any of your experiments lately, is it?" Even the last sentence sounded still polite, but topped with a hint of sarcasm.
Of course they knew each other, as it was downright impossible to ignore Hollander due to his key position in the Science Department, and Marco was not exactly an ordinary member of staff himself, not only because of his father's reputation. On a professional basis, their paths had never crossed so far, still Hollander could not help but notice with an uneasy feeling that the last sentence contained a hidden truth the other was surely not aware of. And he wanted it to stay this way. So he pulled himself together and refrained from theatrically throwing the computer print-out on the desk, but instead handed it over to the younger man without further ado.
Realizing that he would not get any answers for the moment being, Marco adjusted his glasses and studied the print-out. As it turned out, he had been right after all, this was about one of his patients, the young SOLDIER he had last seen three days ago. He knew already that Hollander has posed a file request, allowing him to monitor every single step of the treatment, but he had never contacted Marco about this before. So why the sudden interest?
"Well, I can see that this is a prescription order for a patient of mine, but I can't find anything wrong with it. As I said before, you'll have to fill me in on that matter."
"Then let me enlighten you: That patient had a previous prescription of substance coded TO 545, which you cancelled. I only found out because Pharmacy informed me they received no new order. Looks like you forgot to mention that tiny detail in your last report."
"I don't see what the point is really. So far, I followed the protocol to the letter: I discussed the case with Science, they issued a suggestion – which didn't feature your name, by the way – and since I agreed it was a promising combination, we went on with it. That was until the patient pointed out to me that he was obviously suffering from some sort of unwanted side effect, wherefore I decided to grant his wish to get rid of that one component. As it was not marked 'obligatory', doing so without asking for permission is in my sphere of competence."
Hollander became aware of the fact that this was going nowhere. Strictly spoken, his younger colleague was right. He had done nothing wrong, if anyone was to blame here, it was Hollander himself. This was a case that allowed no mistakes, not even minor ones, and broaching that issue any further would draw too much unwanted attention. In the end, all that could be done right now was to find a short and effective way out of it, and to pray that the damage wasn't done already.
So he tried to sound both calm and dictatorial at the same time when he returned: "Anyway, what's done is done. But we have to avoid such confusions in the future, and there is just one way to achieve this: From now on, every decision in that case has to pass my desk first, and measures are only to be taken if I agree."
Marco shook his head decidedly. "Sorry, Hollander, but I'm no one's puppet. I turned my back on Science for exactly that reason."
"Look, Stephen, I knew your father, and…"
That sentence triggered an unexpected reaction: "Oh right, now we are at that point. Of course you knew my father, everyone here did, I guess. And even if you wanted to point out that you even knew him personally, not just by name, that would only make me wonder how you can possibly think he would appreciate what the Science Department has turned into… But let's not go there. I am more than just my father's son, and I can count one and one together on my own, you know? Did you really think it escaped my mind that something was not right with that patient's Mako stats in the first place? Are you sure that when you noted down the initial value, you didn't forget to add a 1 in front of the comma?"
"What makes you think that I had anything to do with it?" The older man tried hard to hide his confusion.
"Oh please, I'm not some sort of laboratory assistant. We both know that the real files are inaccessible, which is strange enough, but not a big deal in this company. So my next step was to access the procedure's base data, only to find out that you were one of the attending scientists at that time."
"And? That's my job after all…" Yet another statement that came out a tad to defensive to be honest.
"Sure… you never attended a single initial procedure personally for years. If you needed data for your research, you had other ways to get them. Being there was never your job, even back then, you were too high up in hierarchy. So what was different all of a sudden? Why were you there that very day?" As Hollander did not reply, he added: "Could it be that all officially stated Mako levels up till now are in fact faked? That this SOLDIER did not develop an unforeseen intolerance to Mako out of the blue, but had a stagnant Mako level to begin with, and is now living with a critical overdose?"
Hollander's heart stopped beating. This simple physician, not even a scientist, way out of Hollander's league, was closer to the truth than anyone before. It could not be… He had to stop it, no matter the cost. "You know, some questions are not worth being asked. Remember your brother? It was sad really, a man in his position…"
Marco's eyes started to sparkle coldly. "Of course. First my father, than my brother. Has it escaped everybody's attention that I have three brothers, not just one? Not even to mention the fact that I'm neither, so there is no use in comparing me to them all the time…" He took a deep breath, before he continued in a calmer, yet very strained voice: "I recognize a threat when I see one, Hollander, and I know when I've lost… I have no interest to compromise you, the only thing I care about are my patients. So I just want to ask you to either give me the information I need, or to take over the case yourself."
"You know enough about the way our departments work to be aware of the fact that I can do neither. I can't give you information that is way above your clearance level, and I can't take over a case that would be considered far too ordinary for my position."
"So you prefer to let me stumble around in a dark room, without even handing me a single match? It's someone's life we are talking about, not just a bunch of data and numbers. Are you that professional, Hollander? That cold?"
The older scientist looked at him with a glance that was either very well acted, or showing a trace of remorse for the first time. "What makes you think I have a choice in that matter?"
~°oOo°oOo°oOo°~
"Seriously, Gen, what was that supposed to be?" Angeal asked, more amused than reproachful, while he reached out to pick up his sword from the ground.
"Come on, you could be a bit more positive. That was a totally unexpected, epic manoeuvre," his opponent returned in a playful tone.
"Agreed to the first part, it was unexpected indeed. But in my definition, epic is something else… What you just pulled off should be labelled 'cheap'."
They both knew it wasn't a serious argument. It was merely a competitive exchange of words, coordinated like the sword stances they had practiced before, something Genesis called a 'play fight'. As a fixed ritual of the game, he pouted, before he returned: "You are just offended because you didn't see it coming. Simply admit that."
"If you want to see it that way, you are welcome to do so. However, I don't admit anything." While he was still speaking those words, Angeal readied his sword for a counterattack. The following blow, however, as fast and as precise as it was carried out, was not successful. It was as if his opponent had literally disappeared from one second to the next, a situation that would have been more than unfortunate in a serious fight, but in this very moment, it actually put a smile on Angeal's face.
"You are stubborn like a brick wall," a well known voice purred in his back, and Angeal had to spin around right in the same second to be able to defend himself.
"Look who's talking… Isn't that the person who brought the 'I'm going to ignore you until I get my way'-stare down to an art? I'm just persistent, you are stubborn."
A familiar sparkle filled those light blue eyes. "I'm not."
"Sure you are."
For a few moments, the metal sound of their swords replaced the verbal exchange. Some people might have wondered why they still bothered training together. After all those years, they knew each other's strengths and weaknesses almost better than their own. Yet for exactly that reason, it was an enormous challenge.
Although their basic movements were sometimes so similar that they almost seemed synchronized, their general fighting styles were exact opposites. Angeal was a very direct fighter who rarely bothered concealing his intentions overly much and mainly relied on physical strength, while Genesis had learned very early on that the latter was not really a strong point of his. True, Mako tended to improve that ability, but only in relation to what it had been before, so in a contest of sheer power, Genesis would still not have stood a chance against his friend. Knowing that, he had found his way to compensate for that weakness, using his natural dexterity and the Mako-improved speed to his advantage. Faced with an unknown opponent, he very often relied on surprise effects, or tried to irritate his enemies until they made a crucial mistake. As Angeal put it: 'Not the most honest strategy, but highly effective.'
Some of Genesis' movements still seemed to miss the usual grace and lightness, but all in all, he was almost back on his normal level. Therefore, the fight was undecided for a long time, until Angeal finally got the upper hand. Panting heavily, but lowering his sword to recognize his defeat, Genesis voiced a dramatic: "I hate you." Yet his bright smile totally contradicted those words.
"Say that a few more times, and I might consider believing you," Angeal returned, lowering his own sword in a similar movement.
They were standing close now, dangerously close. With a still present smile, Genesis repeated in a tone that was a confusing mixture of innocent sweetness and calculated defiance: "Angeal Hewley, I herewith declare that I officially, totally hate you. I just think repetitions are tiring…"
Whenever they were standing like that, Angeal became aware of the height difference between them. In order to look into each other's eyes, Genesis had to lift his head slightly, while Angeal had to lower his. It was a situation Genesis would have tried to avoid with anyone else, for he didn't like to be reminded of the fact that his height was below average for a SOLDIER, so it could be seen as a huge sign of trust from his side. Angeal was only too aware of that, and looking at the mischievous smile still playing on his opposite's lips that was underlined by the special sparkle in his eyes, he had to fight the temptation to reach out for Genesis in order to eliminate even the small distance that was left between them. Of course the rational side of his mind informed him remorselessly that this was once again neither the right time nor the right place to do so. They were in the right in the middle of one of the major training rooms, which included the chance of somebody walking in any given minute, not even mentioning the elaborated camera system that came with the VR training equipment.
So Angeal finally decided to turn sideways with his next forward move, making it look as if he was mainly walking past his friend. Still he could not resist touching the other's arm for a moment while he did so, and without turning his head he whispered: "Liar."
Genesis waited for another minute, before he turned around to follow him. When Angeal looked over, he continued in a small-talk tone: "Well, maybe I don't hate you, but the fact that if I want to beat you, I have to think really hard and come up with something unexpected, while you still manage to defeat me with the same old technique. I know what's coming, but I just can't avoid it. That's damned depressing."
"You have to consider that you were not on your normal capacity level for the last weeks, so what you just did was pretty amazing. I'd say your overall performance was the most unexpected move of all."
Genesis showed another smile, this time a perfect mixture of pride, satisfaction and commitment. "Better get used to it again. Next time, you won't beat me that easily."
"If you want to try, you're always welcome," his friend returned. "I have to admit though, losing never looked so sexy..."
Genesis suddenly stopped walking, which caused Angeal to turn around and cast him a questioning glance. In return, he got a conspiratorial smile, before Genesis reached out for his hand and slowly started to move backwards, until he stood with his back to the wall, and Angeal right in front of him.
"What kind of surprise strategy is that?" Angeal required, trying to disguise the fact that his heart was beating almost at the same speed as during the previous training session.
Instead of replying at once, Genesis pulled him even closer, until their bodies almost touched. "If you look up for a second, you'll see that we are currently standing right under the main security camera."
"And?"
"And... think about the range that thing has."
"Sorry, thinking is currently a bit... difficult."
Genesis chuckled softly. "This is a blind angle, my love. And I think we might be able to steal a moment until someone comes in here..." He looked at Angeal with wide open eyes, innocent, yet very determined. "So, are you going to kiss me now, or do I have to..."
There was no intention to finish that sentence, and no need to, either. For the next few moments, the world came to a standstill.
A/N the second : No comment at all on the last sentence ;)
Still, I wanted to add something about the poem I used right in the beginning: The whole thing started innocently enough - I was looking for a good way to start the chapter. Before, I had finally decided to put events into a chronological order, which meant I had to start with Genesis yet again, like in the last chapter. And similar to the last chapter, I tried to 'evaluate' the character's mood first of all. Since I always saw Genesis as a person who would turn to poetry whenever he was bored or nervous (just like other people start counting or make a mental to-do-list for the next day), I had the idea to integrate a poem into the opening part. But of course not just any poem, I wanted something that suited the occasion, something that could be related to recent events and at the same time used to hint on possible future developments. The crucial part was to find a piece of poetry that fulfilled all the requirements, and it was like looking for a needle in a haystack. I had almost given up, when I came across the perfect thing by sheer coincident. It's actually not an English poem, but was written by a person who is considered one of the most important German poets and playwrights. Strangely enough, I never liked the German version - too classical, too lifeless for my taste – but translate it into English and it sounds just right :)
The full poem goes like this:
Night Thoughts
(by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)
Stars, you are unfortunate, I pity you,
Beautiful as you are, shining in your glory,
Who guide seafaring men through stress and peril
And have no recompense from gods or mortals,
Love you do not, nor do you know what love is.
Hours that are aeons urgently conducting
Your figures in a dance through the vast heaven,
What journey have you ended in this moment,
Since lingering in the arms of my beloved
I lost all memory of you and midnight.