Note: If I owned MegaMan Zero, nobody would die. They would just get really big ouchies. Obviously that doesn't happen, so it's obvious I don't own it. *hit with pie*
Chapter 6: Mustard of Puppets.
"I am not crazy. I swear I saw Bigfoot trying to hitch a ride on a police car!"
-Cubit Foxtar.
~~~~(WELCOME HOME KIDDIES)~~~~
"Ugh..."
It was dark. Too dark.
"AGH! MY EYES!"
Now it was bright. Too bright.
Copy X cringed as his eyes adjusted to the light. Once they did, he realized he was tied, no, CHAINED, to a chair. In front of him, from his left to his right, were Elpizo, Ciel, and Zero. All three looked like they had been possessed by some unknown and unstoppable force. He failed to notice Mother Elf hovering around, looking ready to bring destruction upon the planet. Afterwards, the currently demented blonds narrowed their eyes, like they were digging into his entire being. Then they spoke:
"Welcome..."
"Copy..."
"X..."
Copy X felt very uncomfortable after that, and finally noticed Mother Elf. Or more accurately, Dark Elf, seeing how she looks so demented right now. "In this chapter..." she said darkly, "You're going to face your worst nightmare..." Copy X stared at her. "X has a new body?" he inquired, then mentally kicked himself.
"No, but I would love to arrange that..."
"NO!"
"It'll take time for me to enact my plan... Until then, my pretties will play with you..."
At this point, Elpizo, Ciel, and Zero jumped onto the table and tackled a screaming Copy X.
"What happened here?" Fefnir asked, "It looks like Master X has been kidnapped. But that can't be possible, because Master X is too awesome for that." Harpuia and Leviathan examined the crime scene, where a sugar-high and unstoppable Elpizo had ambushed Copy X and Phantom, then ran off with Copy X, declaring to Zero and Ciel that he captured the target. "I saw it!" Harpuia cried, "He was kidnapped! We gotta save him!"
"Yeah! But we need a plan!"
"Do you have a plan?"
"Yes I do, actually!"
"What is it?"
"I dunno but it's awesome!"
"Works for me!"
Fefnir and Harpuia then ran off to save Copy X. "Wait for me!" Leviathan cried, running after them. She ran by Phantom, who was just waking up, and thwacked him with her weapon, knocking him out. She then quickly caught up with her brothers. The cake followed them...
...in a wheelbarrow. That was moving on its own.
Meanwhile, somewhere near the prison seen in Chapter 4, a familiar female Reploid with a banjo was walking away, some of her circuits showing and subsequently sparking. "That Postman..." she breathed, "He put up a terrific battle, but the power of justice prevailed!" She then struck a very cheesy pose, and some random Mechaniloid ceased to function from the sheer cheesiness. Cynder then let out a heroic shout that shall forever be remembered:
"Cheese it's good!"
Cyber-Elf X watched her with concern. "If only your brother could see you now..." he started. "You're going to bring up the past of an OC?" Omega, who had appeared literally out of nowhere, asked, voice filled with curiosity.
"I was about to, yes."
"Don't you know that if you do that, some random reader who hates OCs goes insane?"
"...If you say so..."
"That said... DO TELL!"
The Cyber-Elf stared at the Reploid, who was now sitting cross-legged, waiting to hear the tidbit. "Well, during the Maverick Wars, Cynder had a younger brother named Ash..." Cyber-Elf X started, "He called his weapon the Fiddle of Truth...it literally was a fiddle. But moving on. During the Elf Wars, Ash unfortunately lost a fight with...a very sugar-high Reploid and was never found." He wasn't about to say that the Reploid was Omega. The last thing he needed to do was encourage the little beast.
"That's so sad..."
"Yes, it is... He has certainly been missed..."
The two then noticed the Gentle Judges at a distance, and decided to follow them for the heck of it. That had led them to a street where a telephone booth was lodged firmly in the center of. The Gentle Judges were staring at it, as if it was some kind of mutant that would try to eat their nonexistent brains or something of that sort.
"I'm telling you guys," Childre started, "It's a sign that the world is coming to an end!" Schilt rolled his eyes. "And what makes you say that?" he questioned.
"I know this because there's no way a Dunkin' Donuts and a Krispy Kreme can be across the street from each other without something crazy happening! And look! The telephone booth is in between them! This...this...THIS MEANS SOMETHING!"
"Has he lost it?" Flizard asked bluntly. "Don't ask me..." Mantisk replied, "I dunno." Childre looked desperate. "I'll prove it to you!" he shrieked, running up to the telephone booth, opening its door, "See...!" He was promptly pulled into a wormhole within the telephone booth, screaming the whole way. The remaining Gentle Judges were dumb struck, then were grabbed by some unknown force and pulled in as well. The telephone booth then disappeared.
"Well..." Cyber-Elf X started, "That was new." Omega nodded, looking very freaked out. After a long silence, he promptly said, "I sensed a disruption in the Force just now."
Meanwhile...
Zero, Ciel, and Elpizo were vicious...things, as they simply could NOT be Human or Reploid. Copy X had come to this conclusion when they had strapped him to the wall, and forced him to endure the most inhumane torture of all.
Banjos and fiddles. With the volume set to maximum. While My Little Pony was on the TV, which was in front of Copy X. And pink unicorns were painted all over the walls. And to add insult to injury, the three were singing every Alvin and the Chipmunks song known to Humans and Reploids through all of this...and were perfectly on-key.
Being possessed by Dark Elf didn't seem to make the blond-haired disasters any smarter. If anything, it had taken their insanity and made it malicious. Absolutely malicious. There was no other way to describe it. Copy X snapped out of his inner monologue when he heard three screams.
Namely, screams from Harpuia, Fefnir, and Leviathan.
The three Guardians were currently backing away from Perroquiet, who was holding the item they were absolutely terrified of. That item? A Furbie. Because as my dad would say, Furbies are scary. I have to agree with him. They're scary. Young children are immune to the scariness, quite clearly. But moving on...
"Back..." Perroquiet said threateningly, "Or face the wrath of the horrible Furbie!" The 'wings' on Harpuia's helmet were flat against his head like ears, and he promptly screamed, "Take it away! Have mercy! PLEASE!"
"Have you ever shown us mercy? Have you? HAVE YOU?"
"That's different!" Fefnir protested, as Harpuia was too paralyzed to reply, "We've never, EVER used something as horrible as a Furbie against you!" Leviathan nodded readily. "We can change!" she offered, "JUST PUT THAT THING AWAY!" The moronic Guardians failed to realize Perroquiet was backing them into a small cell which for some reason, no one knew why they had it or how they even got it. But I'm too lazy to come up with the hows and whys right now.
Eventually, the Guardians were forced into the cell, and Perroquiet smiled mischievously at this. "Now, I want you to think over every horrible thing you've done..." he said darkly, throwing the Furbie into the cell, "Have fun, kiddies!" He then closed the cell door, and locked it with a gazillion locks. Then he bolted the door in. Then placed a truck load of furniture in front of it. He then walked off in triumph, ignoring the pitiful wails coming from the Guardians.
Perroquiet stopped walking in triumph when he saw Alouette, Cerveau, and Hirondelle staring at him. Alouette was carrying bags of food and E-Crystals, Cerveau was carrying more bags as well as medical supplies, and Hirondelle was carrying various weaponry, including a machine gun. The three Reploids then ran into Cerveau's lab, closed the door, and began barricading it. Perroquiet could hear them also putting the weapons together. Perroquiet blinked, then shrugged and walked off. He failed to notice the awesome cake in the epic wheelbarrow, moving around the base and filming everything with expert precision.
...Maybe the cake really is a lie. That would explain why no one but Childre ( who is clearly a special Insane Person) could see it. Then again, he only partially saw it, which further confirms that it is, most likely, a lie as Portal has told us. Now my head hurts.
Copy X fought back the lump in his throat as the screams died down. On one hand, Harpuia and the other two probably would end up deactivated, and thus, no longer nuisances, but... If that happened...the real MegaMan X would have his power core. And he'd crush it with no mercy. Copy X knew this because Cyber-Elf X was very protective of the Reploids he called his children. He would not allow anything to hurt them, no matter what. And he'd thoroughly punish anyone who allowed them to be hurt. Plus, he blamed Copy X for everything, it seemed.
Copy X was torn from his thoughts when Dark Elf came into the room, holding a strange device. "W-what's that?" the Neo Arcadian leader asked shakily. "It's a brainwashing device!" Dark Elf declared, "It makes a Sane Person an Insane Person...permanently!"
"...You wouldn't...!"
"Of course I would! If I tried to control you, I wouldn't be able to do it forever. Besides, destroying yet another member of the endangered Sane People sounds more appealing! Also, I'm doing this for X, and for the old Zero that was once sane..."
Copy X's power core sank as the crazed Cyber-Elf approached him with the device, a creepy smile on her face. Zero, Ciel, and Elpizo watched her, not quite sure what was going on ( she had let them go, apparently, and they were dumb struck, suffice to say). Eventually, they gave up trying to figure it out, and ran out of the room, screaming something about the ice cream man. Dark Elf chose to ignore them completely, as she came closer to the unfortunate Reploid...
Now, if you think this is actually going to end as Dark Elf plans... remember, you're reading Cookie Cutter.
A telephone booth suddenly smashed through the wall, and the Gentle Judges came out of it while wearing inner tubes and riding tricycles. They noticed Copy X, grabbed him, and dragged him into the booth. It then disappeared in a flash of light. Dark Elf gritted her teeth, and muttered under her breath, "Incompetent fools... Just whose side do they think they're on anyway?" Suddenly, a devious smile came across her lips, and she flew to the cell the three crazy Guardians were in...
Meanwhile...
Phantom let out a groan as he regained consciousness. He rubbed his temples as he got up, while trying to remember exactly what happened. Cyber-Elf X and Omega watched from afar, knowing something was bound to happen to the poor ninja.
All of a sudden, Harpuia, Fefnir, and Leviathan fell out of a ginormous Plot Hole and squished Phantom flat, while Dark Elf could be heard laughing.
As that happened, Weil was busy staring at the Gentle Judges. After thinking long and hard, he decided he didn't want to know why they were wearing inner tubes, why they were riding tricycles, and why they were holding Copy X hostage until Neo Arcadia gave them one hundred chocolate muffins. It wasn't worth the headache.
Resistance: 4.
Neo Arcadia: Do I really need to say this?
Weil: 1.
Gentle Judges: 1.
Mother Elf: 1.
The Cake: 4.
The Incredible Furbie: 300.
This...is...NEO ARCADIA!
Note: Was this crazy enough for ya? :P On another note... Why must 'extra' punctuation marks get eaten alive? ;_; It kills the feeling I'm trying to convey when the exclamation mark after the question mark magically disappears...