Author's note: I am sorry for the long delay, should be faster now...Huge thanks to everyone reviewing this fiction :D

"Will?" Ken who obviously decided to join me last night asks me form the other side of the bed.

I need to make sure this is not a dream. At first I look at my finger and it's okay but…

"Hit me."

"What?"

"Hit me."I repeat my demand but she only looks at me crazily. I run downstairs to the kitchen. Ken follows me.

I grab a knife, and everyone gasps. Faith comes to me.

"Whoa, Red stop it."

"Hit me." I repeat.

"Why?"

"I need to know this is real. " I say and twist the knife so I can cut myself with it.

Ouch.

Faith slapped me.

Buffy reaches us and she looks like she has been running.

"What? Faith are you crazy?"She asks Faith and punches her.

"What the hell? She asked for it B and she panicked. She would cut herself." She touches her cheek where Buffy hit her and her face shows a lot more pain than it should. Buffy still doesn't trust her especially not around us and for some reason it touches Faith deeply. Sometimes I wonder if that's the only reason why Buffy still doesn't trust her. Because she doesn't understand or maybe because she enjoys hurting Faith. Or maybe Faith is a new Spike for Buffy. Umm no Buffy wouldn't be using and sleeping with a girl. On the other hand I never thought she would sleep with Spike either. But most people didn't expect me to be addicted to magic either. Why is it that people act unexpectedly? We should be like computers, predictable, easier to deal with. We should be walking computers…

"Willow, you have to give me the knife okay?"Buffy asks me.

I flinch when she moves to me. The memory of her teeth flashing through me.

I let the knife drop so they know I don't want to anymore.

She takes one step closer and I take one step back. I move to the side so Faith stands between us. I know Buffy is not a vampire, but I can't help myself when I look at her I shiver.

She stops trying to reach me and looks helplessly at Ken and Faith. Like if they could tell her what's wrong with me.

"Where is Spike?" I ask them.

"Spike? Spike is dead Will, He has been since Sunnydale."Ken says.

If my dream was real and this is real, then Spike and Anya are in hell, but what about Buffy and Xander? Or maybe only victims are real and the others aren't'? Anya said that hurting is most effective when it came from the person you love. Maybe that's what it is they have hallucinations about people who love them hurting them.

"Red?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you hiding from B?"

"I am not." I say and go to Buffy. She takes my hand and I can't help but feel weak. If I am so weird about her how did I manage it with Xander yesterday? Oh yeah. That was 'cause I have been avoiding him all the day. I should do it again with her. No, they would notice.

"See I am fine."

"Willow I am sorry."

"For what?" I look at her numbly.

"For whatever I did to you. " She looks so sad.

"You haven't done anything. "

"But…" Now she just doesn't understand.

"I am sorry Buffy I just had…"an excursion to hell, where you were a vampire and you wanted to turn me evil.

"I just had a bad dream."

No one pushes me anymore and we all eat a breakfast that Andrew prepared. It's pancakes. They are pretty good, but again they remind me of Tara. At least she wasn't in my dreams, if they are real than she is not in hell. Not that I ever thought she would because she is an angel, but still it's a relief to know. I miss her.

The truth is not only no one pushes me but also no one talks. The tension is all over the place. Buffy stares at her plate and plays with the food, Instead of just eating it like always. Ken alternately reaches out her hand to me and pulls back. Faith looks like she doesn't know what to do. Xander is still upstairs so he missed all the drama and everyone else rather sits to another table. It's like they are afraid to ask, and I won't answer, not yet. I still don't know what's happening. It's too soon.

I stand up. "I have to go, I need some rest."