Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Kai, Rei, Tala or Bryan but the others I have made up myself and belong to me.

3. How It Began And The Tears It Caused

Snow had started to fall again, making the air colder than before. Rei shivered and walked closer to Kai. The two were silent as they walked, but Rei had gone so far as not looking at Kai whatsoever. He was mad…yeah maybe. But mostly he just felt ashamed. It was as if he had run to Tala, sobbing and telling of how horrible Kai was. It's not like that happened, but that was how Kai made it feel to Rei. His crimson eyes glanced at Rei every once in awhile, but they were still foggy with alcohol. Rei could tell he had been drinking, though smelling him was a dead giveaway. His steps weren't totally in line for one, which was always quite a giveaway. They turned the corner to their street and Kai pulled keys out of his pocket, leading Rei to the door. The neko-jin kept a few steps behind Kai now, afraid of what Kai could be.

After the first three months of being together Rei had quickly learned that the Russian didn't just have an anger problem sometimes, but he was possessive. What was his, and Rei had to admit that Kai called him his, no one was to touch. They stepped into the warm house and Rei shut the door softly as Kai kicked off his shoes and walked in further. Rei stayed in the entryway as the Russian slipped off his coat and unwound his scarf, turning to look at Rei. The Chinese boy couldn't decide what to do. He could pretend the cold crimson eyes on him didn't make him nervous, that he was completely clueless as to what Kai had actually be doing. Or he could cry and run right back out the door. He chose the former, mostly because Kai unfortunately could outrun him.

"So h-how was the meeting?" Rei asked, avoiding Kai's eyes as he unbuttoned his jacket.

Kai was silent and watched as Rei slipped off his jacket and hung it, removing his shoes then daring to look up at the red orbs. They were cold but softened slightly when Rei finally looked into them.

"It was fine, our newest client wanted to discuss our future plans for the company to make sure he was investing in something worth his time." Kai said, and Rei almost cringed because it was so obviously rehearsed and ready to say when he had asked.

"Oh. I see." Rei said softly, forcing the corners of his lips into a small shaky smile. "That's…good."

And then he had to think: was Kai worth his time? Because obviously their relationship was far from perfect, even quite a distance from good, but Rei could still feel his heart beating faster when the Russian kissed him and those crimson eyes never failed to make him shudder in delight. He loved feeling Kai's eyes on him. But now…it was getting hard to act like none of it bugged him. It was hard to pretend like he believed his lover when he said he was going to a meeting, or pretend to not get upset when he heard those perfectly rehearsed lines.

"I don't like you going over to Tala's as much as you do." Kai said, calm but firm. Rei blinked.
"But it's quiet in the mansion when you're not here – I can barely get myself a glass of water." He responded. The Russian shook his head.

"There are maids Rei, and Marcus is always there once you call him." Rei sighed, he hated calling the butler. It made him feel bad that people served them so easily. Kai stepped forward to place his hands on Rei's hips. "But I don't want you spending that much time there. This is your home, I am your lover." Possessive. Always so protective over what was his. Did Rei even want to fall under that category anymore though?

"But Kai-" The Russian tightened his fingers on the neko-jin's hips and his eyes hardened for a moment.

"Rei, you are not allowed." He said sternly. Rei sighed, wishing that his throat wasn't so thick now. He slowly nodded and Kai's fingers now loosened and gently caressed his hips. "We should get some sleep Kitten." He said, much more gently. His words slurred more without that anger hardening them and Rei nodded again.

Bed was always hard for Rei. To feel Kai's arms tighten around his waist, his chest against his back as Kai laid his head above Rei's…it made Rei sob. And that night was no different. Rei's body shook with muffled sobs and tears spilled down his cheeks. But this time he hadn't been able to wait for his lover to fall asleep and, despite being drunk and nearly in dreamland, Kai noticed. He just sighed and didn't say anything. Rei knew, that much was clear. Rei knew he was cheating, Rei knew he had just slept with another, Rei knew that he was breaking his promise to never touch another the way he touched him. It was what Kai had whispered once after they made love, the time Rei had for some reason been scared Kai would leave him. That was before the other guys.

Kai had met Ren first. He had been an intern at the company, working as an assistant as a fill in for Kai's actual assistant. He hadn't hinted that seductive tone that Ren used around him, or the way he had accidentally spilled Kai's glad of water all over his neck and shirt – only leaving him with the option to take it off. Kai hadn't even considered looking at another the way he looked at Rei. Because he loved Rei. But one day Ren had tripped supposedly accidentally, spilling papers everywhere. And he had to conveniently fall between Kai's legs. Now it was a weird story for Kai though. The Russian had been talking to Rei who had been joking around on the phone – saying innocent things in the most erotic way he could. The neko-jin often did such things just to arouse, bug and play with his lover since it was so amusing to hear the older male's breathing speed, and then he'd gone so far to say he was going to touch himself.

So when Ren fell to come face to face with his boss's hard on, well he'd been quite pleased. Offering to help him, Kai had been too needy to say no. Back in the office Ren had begun like he was really just helping Kai, and then he had added in his mouth, which soon turned into his whole body. Kai had actually enjoyed the release and when Ren had offered another round two days later, he hadn't been able to refuse. Soon Ren moved, which hadn't exactly upset Kai but he had been disappointed that their sessions (which had gone on for about two months) would be cancelled. This led to one steamy night where Kai didn't leave until eleven the next morning – giving Rei an excuse along the lines of 'being held up in a meeting with other company's representatives'. Finding another hadn't been that hard though. Once his assistant came back, her nephew had come to bring her a lunch one day. Perfect size, great body, smoky eyes and a silky voice.

Kai had actually persuaded the male into coming into his office where things got heated pretty quickly; enough so that when the Russian was pleased and satisfied the boy was asking hopefully when their next time would be. Now that had pleased Kai. But every time he held Rei that guilt wore on him. His lover had been too clueless and sweet, still so willing and loving as he did anything and everything the Russian ever wanted from him. Kai would admit that it made his heart hurt when that gentle voice whispered words of love and gratitude. The worst part for him was when they had sex. Watching that flawless face as it flushed with pleasure, moans of Kai's name tumbling from those soft lips, golden eyes closing delicately…it nearly made him cry. And every time his body made itself pleasure Rei – almost selfishly wanting to hear that pleasured cry from the younger that signaled his release. And Kai released too, filling Rei and holding him tight.

Until Rei fell asleep, Kai held him. And he wiped the tears away, kissing his lips softly, crimson eyes gentle with affection. But he was drunk, and his mind was clouded. He knew Rei knew but he was too cowardly to confess like a man; he wouldn't mention a thing until the matter arose and there came no choice. So, holding Rei in his arms, cheek rested on top of his head, he slept.