Disclaimer: Me no ownie! Rawr!

A/N: I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I swear I didn't mean to wait that long! Gomen! It's just that school caught up with me, or should I say, passed me, and I had a lot of work to do! But here it is! The promised chapter! I know, things don't seem very funny yet, but trust me, this is a comedy. From now on things will be much more fast paced and you will have aches from laughing so hard. I promise! …pwease don't huwt meh! Oh yeah, I'm looking for a beta. Send me an e-mail at if you are interested. Oh, and I decided no real rape. It's too serious a topic for a lighthearted fic like this one.

Chapter 3:

Soubi looked at the large clock in the plaza. Hmmm…he thought. I'm an hour early. Ritsuka won't expect to see me this soon. A slight grin broke his passive face as an idea implanted itself in his head. Chuckling, Soubi made his way through the crowds, looking for a certain small, black-haired head with adorable ears.

…………………….

Kio stayed out of the trio's sight as long as he could. He was looking for a chance to execute his plan without causing a ruckus and drawing the attention of the authorities. So far he had had no such luck. The three friends seemed inseparable, and one was always with Ritsuka at all times. Kio was starting to get very flustered. Then, just as he was starting to wonder if it wouldn't be so bad after all if he simply ran out and grabbed the boy, the virgin stepped of into a side alley, alone.

Astounded at his turn of luck and thanking whatever gods were blessing him, Kio scurried after and snuck up behind the kid.

"Soubi…why don't you call, idiot…" His voice was quiet and hurt, and very, very cute.

No wonder Soubi has the hots for him, Kio thought bitterly. Kio almost hesitated. This was just a little kid after all. Would he really follow through with his plan? But Soubi would never take notice of him until he got rid of Ritsuka. He was Seimei's little brother after all! It stood to reason that the younger sibling would be just like that bastard. He couldn't let Soubi go through all that pain again!

So reasoning Kio stood up to his full height and took a step toward Ritsuka. Unfortunately, his foot was entangled in a garbage bag and he fell forward with a cry, knocking down the younger boy as Ritsuka turned, wiping his eyes.

………………………

Ritsuka was enjoying his day out with two of the people he loved most in the world. However he couldn't help his mood dampening every minute that passed without a word from Soubi. He blushed as he realized how lovesick he was acting.

"Ritsuka-san, are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, Yayoi, I just um have to make a call. Excuse me." Ritsuka hurried down the alley half to get away from Yayoi's curious stare. The other boy had some ideas about what the real relationship between Ritsuka and Soubi was, but thankfully, he hadn't said anything to anyone yet.

The other reason Ritsuka was down in the alley was to check his e-mail in private. He wouldn't call Soubi. That's just what the idiot wanted. But Ritsuka wished Soubi wouldn't make him feel so abandoned at times.

As expected, his inbox was devoid of any new messages. He sighed.

"Soubi…why don't you call, idiot…"

He sniffed and wiped away the tears threatening to fall. He was about to leave the deserted alley when he heard a yell and something landed on him throwing him back.

"Waah!" He landed in a pile of trashe with a heavy something pinning him down. Ritsuka tried to push whatever it was off of him and gasped when his hand met skin. His first thought was that it was a dead body but that was quickly dispelled when the thing wriggled and said in a muffled voice, "Ooof! Watch where your poking me!"

"Aaaah! Wh-who are you! What are you doing?! Get away from me! Mov- AHHH! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU PERVERT!?!?" Ritsuka panicked and yelled, his voice rising in pitch. Kio had no choice but to cover the kid's mouth with his hand, but in the darkness, his hand cupped around something much lower that definitely was not a mouth.

Kio felt his face burn and quickly withdrew his hand. He quickly sat up and tried to crawl away. "Sh-shut up! Someone will hear you!" He said, before his hand slipped on a stray banana peel and he fell forward. Whatever gods had "helped" him, were sly tricksters, because Kio's loss of balance resulted in an impromptu kiss.

Both males' eyes widened in shock. Ritsuka kicked Kio in between the legs and backed away from him yelling at the top of his lungs. Kio's eyes widened in shock and he quickly claimed the kid's mouth again to make him shut up before anyone heard and caught him.

Unfortunately for him, Ritsuka's panicked cries had already been heard.

Angry hands grasped the back of Kio's collar and pulled him up and around to see the last person he wanted to see at that moment glaring pure hatred at him.

"S-Souchan! I-It isn't wh-what you think! Re-really! I-eeep!"

A/N: Bwuahaha! Tish the ebil cliffie end of horrible doom! Ehhh…Yeah…I know, kinda sadistic of me to put a cliffie end to a chapter I know you've all been waiting for so long but…I must keep readers into it no? Heehee. And I really need to go to bed…hmmm…I shall not promise when the next chapter will be out so I won't feel guilty when it is abominably late and so you all can't flame at me for it o . Heheheh! I am so smart 8P! Ah, I almost forgot. I'm planning on doing a Fruits Basket oneshot, but I can't figure out what Shigure and Hatori will be like if they are uber drunk. Help/looks for the evil pies/