Chapter 4

My request

~Chimera~

I can't even try to explain how right this feels. It's like someone trapped me in a crystal ball fully equipped with my own personal library. I don't care what's beyond these walls. I don't care what people say or think. I want to keep this moment, seal it and guard it.

I want to say something. Anything. But I can't. I know I'll make him go away again. But I don't need to say anything, he seems to read my mind.

'I can't stay. You know that, don't you?'

I feel myself nodding. Do i? no, of course I don't. why? It makes no sense whatsoever. It feels right, it should be right, but somehow it's not. I deserve him, I know I do. I might not be the best looking witch out there…I might actually be far from that, and though he is a god I know he is mine and only mine as I am his. This is what I've been living for. for him. Somehow, deep down inside I knew I would find him. Somehow I knew that my days spent studying and figuring out riddles to help harry would pay off. I knew that some day he would come. I admit I never expected it to be so soon. No, I more or less imagined meeting him a few moments before I'd die, but even so it would be worth it. I'm not a fool. I know the darkness is approaching. And in the end Harry is just a boy. He might have love by his side, but knowledge is stronger when it comes down to wands. And we all know Voldamort has a lot of that. Sometimes I think he's a lot powerful than Dumbledore, but my heart and pride and Gryffindor courage tell me to stick with our Headmaster. On the other hand, like I said, I am no fool. I know that I will most likely die, and I won't lie and say I'm not afraid of dieing. That would be plain stupidity, or as Malfoy would say, stupid Gryffindor courage. He is right, just this once, it is stupid not to fear death. But this man's presence makes future seem more bearable. So how can I not fight his words? but even so, even if I am crying and cringing inside, I say nothing. Maybe somehow, if I say nothing, time will stop in this blissful moment.

'I'll never harm you.'

You're leaving… how can you say you won't hurt me when you plan on disappearing again?

'I will come back.' He whispers into my neck. I shudder and feel a tear making its way down my cheek. I didn't know I was under so much pressure.

'but you have to promise to trust me.'

I close my eyes and breathe, taking in his smell, deep, masculine. I focus on his arms wrapped around me, his white shirt clinging to my back as he keeps me pressed to his chest, his pale hands resting on my abdomen as my head rests at the bottom of his neck.

'do you promise?'

I nod once again. but he doesn't go on. Though I don't expect an answer, somehow I know he needs me to say it.

'Yes…' I breathe out. But he's still waiting 'Yes, I'll trust you.' The words come out in a harsh tone, my throat seems to be constricted.

'good.'

And that's the last thing. For an hour or so we just sit there. And then I feel him kiss my forehead and before I could turn around he's gone. Another tear rolls down my cheek. So unexpected, yet welcomed, so short yet desired.

I stand up. I took my dose, now life goes on.

'Mr. malfoy! I will have you know that this class is not optional. i advise you to take advantage of your night to dose off, not my lecture!'

i divert my eyes to malfoy. without the sneer or his face he actually looks nice. his hair seems to have taken styling lessons from Harry's, a lot better than his usually sleeked back locks. but what strikes me the most are his eyes. the dark circles underneath them makes the storm in them seem even more ruthless. he looks innocent. the irony of it all.

'yes, professor.' his husky voice says. i noticed this about him. he never says "sorry". don't ask me why i did that, i just discovered that i expected that from him. and somehow it suits him-his personality.

'Hermione!'

i turn my face to ron, and i realize he's been calling my name for some time now, judging by the scowl on his face. 'can you please help me with this before mcgonagall bites my head off.' i roll my eyes. same ron, always looking for the easy way out. i'm actually sick and tired of helping him, and even harry from time to time, with school related problems. but i can't find it inside of me to say "no".

'dismissed' mcgonagall says and we all rush out the door. i don't understand why everyone says i grovel at mcgonagall's feet. i mean i can't help but admire her. she's the best teacher in school and she always knows how to deal with difficult situations, she's calm and calculated. and that's not even half of it. did you know that she was the first witch permitted to enter the wizengamot? it seems like nothing now that most of it is made out of women, but that wasn't the deal when she was young. it's strange to even imagine that the wizardry world was so narrow minded. but they were, and back then the world was not only ruled by purebloods, but by men purebloods nonetheless. it's ridiculous if you think about it now, but not then, and maybe not in the future if the war keep on this path.

a hand grabs my arm and pulls me into a secluded corridor, but unlike most people i don't cry out or try to fight the person...i smile.

'you shouldn't smile' he says furrowing his eyebrows. 'you should fight back.'

'why would i do that when i know that you're at the end of that hand.'

he laughs a sad laugh, almost an angered one. he leans down, near my face, and whispers gently.

'don't let you guard down when with me. you should be afraid of me.'

'didn't you tell me to trust you?'

He smiles a crooked smile and engulfs me in his arms, taking in a deep breath. 'I did, didn't I?'

'where do you go?' I need answers. I held my thoughts back because I was afraid I would scare him, but I hope we're now beyond that moment. I can't keep seeing him without getting some answers first.

He shakes his head and lowers himself on the window ledge.

'what is your name.' again the shake. I bite my lip and feel my throat constricting at the thought of the answer 'are you a death eater?'

He doesn't shake his head this time. He looks at me with heavy eyelids. Oh god! All questions disappear from my head the moment he looks at my lips. There's nothing I would like more than to touch his, but I'm afraid, me, Hermione granger, the wits behind voldamorts destruction, me, the gyffindor princess (stupid nick name) is afraid of kissing this exquisite example of a man. He leans forward and I feel my breath hitch in my throat. No no no no no no no no! I move my face slightly and he gets the idea.

'sorry… I just…'

I blush from head to toe. How can a girl explain to a definitely more than less sex god that she's just a scared little kitten instead of a lion and that like the perfectionist she is, she needs time to stage the show, think about the out come, compare plausible results and measure pro and cons. Well that'll really be a turn on. So I decide to go for a more mature explanation.

'I need answers…'

He looks at me again. Why does he speak so little and so shushed?

'you're not going to give me any, are you?'

He bits his lip-pause for brain to start functioning again-and then he whispers 'no, I'm not.'

I sigh.

'but I do want to ask something of you.'

'that's hardly fair. You give me no clues and then expect me to help you?'

'it's not me you're going to help.'

I open my mouth to say something, but the moment he puts his index finger on my lips I don't give a rats ass about what I was going to say.

'I need you to tutor Draco Malfoy at transfiguration.'

Pause…you, tutor, malfoy, trans…hm…seems I got that right…wait, WHAT?

'what?'

His finger slides as he moves his thumb on my lips, his hand stroking my cheek. He draws the outline of my lips…suddenly malofy-me-trans doesn't sound that awful anymore.

'yes.'

As he lets go of me I feel my brain being resuscitated. Again…clear…again…clear….bip-bip-bip. All right people, we have a pulse.

'why?'

'I have my reasons.'

Before I could ask anything else: 'close your eyes.'

I listen and reluctantly close them. My hands start to shake a little. And then I feel…his lips on the corner of my mouth.

After a few seconds I open my eyes. He's gone.

A/N: i want to apologize for the text format (as you can see it lacks capital letters) i have a problem with my computer...or better yet, the absence of said computer. i write on some type of notebook that makes it really difficult for me to press that darn shift button. sorry