Chapter 2

The Erroneous Interrogation


-:-:-:-:-:-


Kurt was the first one to break the silence after Mike stormed his way out of the house, addressing Blaine as Finn helped Puck from his well deserved position on the ground.

"I'm sensing a recurring theme here."

Blaine nodded, absently rubbing the arm Mike had shoved as he stared at the top of the staircase with an expression of slight fear. It was unfortunate that this was his first up close and personal meeting with Mike, considering the circumstances Kurt probably should have foreseen possible mental scarring, given how prone New Directions was to drama.

That would appear to include the less vocal members as well.

It figured, without the day-to-day pattern of school to interfere with their lives Kurt had assumed his summer would fall into three lack-luster months of Blaine, music, and relaxation. No school, no drama, no fighting, no secrets, no backstabbing, breakups, make ups, or overreactions. It would just be a vacation.

He might as well have instigated this whole mess himself with those kinds of wishful thoughts.

Puck coughed awkwardly, rubbing at his throat, and gave a nod indicating he agreed with Kurt's statement.

"Yeah," he hacked out, "that he acts like a-"

Kurt cut him off before the jock could overuse his favorite derogative description of Mike, opting to lightly belittle him instead of snapping.

"You don't learn, do you?"

Beside him Blaine rolled his eyes, but Puck frowned, clearly offended.

"I'm not the one who's tripping," he exclaimed, glancing briefly at Finn for backup and rubbing a hand against his throat again with a cringe. "He tried to strangle me in New York too."

Though Kurt had yet to determine the reason for this, and to be honest it had been slowly killing him inside for no matter how much he probed, or Blaine probed, or even Finn probed (in his awkward attempt at subtlety), Puck refused to divulge further details. Kurt had been hoping Mike could shed some light on the situation, stupidly presuming that the previous storm-out had been an isolated incident and that today's session would be pretty much open and shut.

Yeah, not the case.

Kurt hid his disappointment and took out some of his frustration with a sarcastic quip, staring blankly at Puck while reaching out to pat Blaine's shoulder, who was still throwing the staircase periodic glances.

"I wonder why."

Puck appeared to appreciate this second comment even less than its predecessor, perhaps because he was finally becoming aware of his role in both of Mike's emotional outbursts (though the odds of that were unlikely) and he took his hand away from his throat so he could glare at Kurt properly.

"You saying this is my fault?" he asked, hands against his sides in a casually threatening manner, but Kurt didn't back down.

Thankfully Finn stepped in, attempting to be a voice of reason.

"There's obviously something going on here dude," he said while still trying to be a good friend by reaching out an arm in support. "Mike wouldn't just-"

But Puck wouldn't have it and pushed the other teen's hand away before it could make contact. "He did. Like, three times!"

By this point he realized that none of them were really on his side, at all, and he took a moment to fume about it.

Blaine, now confidant Mike would not return, joined the conversation, disbelief etched into his face. "To you."

Because clearly, had anyone else provoked Mike to the point of strangling they might have recognized just a tiny bit of responsibility for rendering him in that state and attempted to resolve the problem. Only that wasn't how Puck's mind worked, not even slightly, and for a moment Kurt believed that the thoughtful look that crossed the jock's face was a good thing. That was, until words came out of his mouth and the illusion was shattered.

"Maybe not," Puck muttered, almost to himself, and Kurt could just tell that the gears turning in his mind were not going to lead to anything good.

For the first time that evening Kurt allowed himself to show some of his aggravation, rubbing a hand over his eyes as he gave a sigh, just foretelling the chaos that was going to come of this.

Stroke of genius worked out, Puck turned to Finn, plan in mind. "We need to talk to Tina, she'd know right?"

No, she won't, because Mike's not crazy.

This time Blaine was the one to voice their concerns, now that Kurt had become too tired, and he tried to pull Puck back into reality.

"I think you might be missing the point here."

Puck waved at him absently, already a lost cause.

"No, I think you might be missing the point," he lectured, the epitome of machismo. "What if Mike goes all psycho on her all the time, only she's too embarrassed to say anything."

And he honestly believed himself when he said this.

"Finn," Puck called, begging for his friend's support. "We've got to save her."

Blaine didn't bother hiding his laugh, and Kurt felt a little better about temporarily traumatizing him. "You are so wrong it's not even funny."

It didn't even faze Puck; his focus was all on his on-again, off-again best friend. Finn was still on their side, though it looked like he was about to give into the darkness, if only to make sure things didn't get out of hand.

Finn tried again anyway, "I think they might have a point-"

Puck cut him off with a hand, and began to walk away, taking the stairs two at a time. "Fine man, if you're not up for rescuing damsels I'll do it myself."

The three remaining sane people hurried to the top of the staircase, and Blaine was the first one to catch his breath, casting aside all gentleness and cutting to the heart of the issue.

"He's only mad at you!"

Puck halted on the stairs briefly, turning just long enough to declare, "No he's not."

Blaine and Kurt were completely in sync when they yelled back, "Yes he is!"

Though they might as well not have bothered because he was already gone.

Beside them Finn sighed, gave them a hopeless look, and went after him. Kurt nodded in approval. As entertaining as it was to have one Chang mad at Puckerman they sure as hell did not need to unleash the wrath of a second.

Blaine patted his arm as they stared at the empty staircase. "You have interesting friends."

Kurt sighed and rubbed at his eyes again; mind traveling back to the broken clipboard discarded on the floor by his bedroom door, foreshadowing the badness that was to come.

"This will not end well."

-:-:-:-:-:-

-:-:-:-:-:-

-:-:-:-:-:-

Apparently by "talk to Tina", Puck had meant "interrogate", and apparently "interrogating" was so very important that they had to rush over to Tina's immediately, not calling ahead (because Puck didn't want her to be prepared, even though that would have been important because she might not be home, or she might have company, or Mike could be there) and breaking most of the driving laws and all of the speed limits that stood in their way. It was like one of those actions movies, Finn mused as he watched Puck reposition some of Tina's furniture into "proper interrogation formation", only in those movies they never got pulled over because it was in the script, and they only shot for like, ten seconds at a time anyway.

Yeah, Finn would much rather be watching one of those movies right now rather than participating in one.

He was beginning to see how Puck could piss Mike off so easily.

Across the room Tina sent the unoccupied jock an amused look, allowing Puck to continue his work for what Finn guessed was entertainment purposes. To be honest Finn was surprised they were allowed in the house at all, once someone had answered the door Puck had declared that Tina was a "Person of interest, vital to their investigation" and then pretty much barged his way in past her mother. Finn spent several minutes apologizing before Tina came in and diffused the situation (who thankfully was home and without Mike).

Even after their close call at the door Puck hadn't toned down his "investigation" at all, he had just started prepping the room once Tina showed them to it. All things considered she was taking this rather well, though a majority of that had to be because 'crazy things that were never given an explanation' were kind of Puck's specialty, and you came to expect this sort of thing from him.

"Okay," Puck panted, pointing to the chair he had situated in the middle of the room. "Sit."

This was addressed to Tina, who gave him a cheeky smile before flouncing over to the indicated seat, happily complying. Puck rolled his eyes at her (probably for not taking this seriously enough, whatever this was) and switched off the light. They stood/sat in darkness while Puck negotiated the room, stumbling over random shoes and whatever else girls kept on the ground before he finally reached Tina's lamp, positioned to shine brightly into her face, completing the mood he was going for.

As crazy as this was, Finn had to appreciate Puck's attention to detail.

"So," Tina began, swinging her feet playfully. "What's this about?"

The question was mostly directed at Finn, but she kept her eyes glued on Puck so he would feel included. They wouldn't want him to feel left out of his own party, after all.

True to every cop movie he had ever seen Puck refused to take any nonsense (nonsense in this case being talking), and he pointed a threatening finger at their interogee.

"I'm the one asking the questions," he snapped, squinting his eyes in a manner that Finn supposed could have been intimidating were they interviewing a three year old.

"Now," Puck continued, after he had squinted for a sufficient period of time. "How long has Chang been crazy?"

The question hung in the room awkwardly for a couple seconds, Puck refusing to let up on his stare down while Tina's face revealed the same confusion Finn was balling up on the inside. She turned to him when she realized Puck wasn't going to elaborate.

"Did you let him chug a case of Mountain Dew again?" she asked, cocking her head in Puck's direction, and Finn couldn't help but shudder at the memory of the last and only time (if he had anything to say about it) that had happened.

It had taken Finn weeks before he could look at eggs the same way again.

The non-interrogator shook his head and refocused on the present.

"No," Finn sighed, "he's just in denial."

As Tina's look turned to one of interest Puck continued on, ignoring Finn's comment.

"Tina," the mohawked-teen began, bad cop exterior falling away, and he kneeled down next to her, going for more of a talk show host, Oprah kind of feel. "We're totally here for you."

He reached out and squeezed her arm in support, taking a deep breath before he continued, "If Mike's been going Hulk on you in private, you don't have to hide it anymore."

Finn felt his face light up in the embarrassment Puck should be feeling, and Tina sent him a more obvious, desperate look, practically screaming "Seriously, what the hell?".

Finn would have given just about anything to go back in time to earlier this evening and just tell Kurt "no", instead of agreeing to help him. It might have been better for the sake of the group if he had.

Tina wasn't letting up, and like Kurt, wasn't going to let this go, not if it concerned Mike, so Finn sighed in resignation, rubbing the side of his head wearily.

"Puck offended Mike's honor."

He was pretty sure there was a whole lot more to it than that but Puck wasn't saying anything useful and Mike wasn't saying anything period. Except that he didn't have a soul, which Finn had found really confusing.

He would have to talk to Rachel about that later.

Tina's mood immediately changed, indicating that playtime was over, and now it was overprotective girlfriend's turn to take the plate.

"What did you do to my Chang-Chang?" She asked, voice low and more threatening than it should be from a person so small.

Puck shook his head in dismissal, still under the belief that Mike couldn't just be mad at him. "This isn't about me."

Finn shrugged, gesturing to Puck in a "this is what I've been dealing with" fashion. "He refuses to talk about it."

The mohawked teen scoffed, glancing at him long enough to object to his accusations. "Because I didn't do anything."

Broken record, playing over and over again. The guy had said that phrase so many times on the way over Finn was beginning to think it was a new form of meditation or something. Not that Puck was the kind of guy who would meditate. If he did, stuff like this probably wouldn't happen nearly so often. Still, there was one thing bothering him.

"Mike hasn't told you about this?" Finn asked Tina, confused.

He knew Mike wasn't that big a talker to them, but Finn figured that with Tina being his girlfriend …

Apparently that was not the right thing to say at all, because if the look on Tina's face meant what Finn thought it meant (and it did because his two past girlfriend's had made him very familiar with it) then Mike was going to be thrown very deep into the doghouse. Finn winced at the sight and mentally apologized.

Puck, still trying to defend his honor, saw his opening to win sympathy and turned to Tina beseechingly. "He tried to strangle me."

And…not good. Not good at all. Finn had a feeling things were gong to go downhill from here pretty fast.

"He what?!" Tina exclaimed, her small anger at Mike transforming into a special kind of new rage at Puck because the overprotection was coming back full force, and Finn knew that he was going to end up pulling a second Chang intent on serious injury off of Puck today.

Puck, as per usual, misjudged her reaction, thinking he had actually succeeded.

"See, she agrees," he drawled, lazy smile crossing his face as though victory was his. "Mike's crazy."

The quarterback retreated back a step, slowly edging towards Puck, making sure not to make any sudden movements as he attempted to warn his friend, "Dude…"

Tina had become rigid, tense with…Finn didn't even want to know, he just wanted to grab Puck and get out of here because girls could be scary and-

"What," She ground out, voice barely controlled, and she took a slow, menacing step forward, hands outreached towards her prey, "did you do?"

Finn didn't have a chance to warn him.

"I didn't-" Puck began, intent on proving his innocence, and Tina lost it, throwing herself forward and latching onto his sweatshirt. In a way, it eerily reminded Finn of Mike.

Puck did not appreciate the sudden change in decorum. He tried to pry Tina's arms off of him and soon they were moving around the room in a spastic kind of voodoo dance that Finn really should be trying a little harder to break up but he kept hoping, despite knowing better, that maybe Tina could succeed where they all had failed.

"She's crazy too man!" Puck yelled, managing to push one of her arms off of him only to have her change her tactics and go for his back, jumping on him, causing him to let out this strange gurgle. "Get her off me!"

"What did you do?" She yelled again, clawing at Puck's face, and soon they were making enough of a ruckus that Finn was surprised the rest of the house hadn't come to see what the commotion was about. Puck staggered around the room, knocking over his interrogation chair as he tried and epically failed to pry the antagonized lady goth off of his back.

"Abort mission!" Puck yelled, spinning around madly only to cause his attacker to tighten her grip. "Abort! Abort!"

Finn was torn, he really was. He should be trying to help Puck, or at least look like he was trying to help his friend, or something, but he didn't want to make Tina mad at both of them, and he really had no idea what was going on. Meanwhile, the sounds of crashing and breaking and strangling continued, and Finn gave up and pulled out his phone, starting his video in time just to get Tina shouting, "Tell me!" into Puck's ear, and Finn figured that at least they would get a really great YouTube video out of this mess.

"You're crazy!" Puck spat out, finally losing his balance, and the two wrestling teens fell onto the bed sideways with a loud omf.

And…

Puck and Tina…

…on the bed

That was a combination Finn should probably put a stop to.

The quarterback pulled his phone down long enough to reevaluate the situation, trying to convince Tina that this looked all kinds of things that weren't good, but she didn't seem to have the time for it. In Puck's defense, he was doing his best to get away from her without actually doing any damage, trying to block his face from Tina's enraged slaps.

"Get off!"

It was totally déjà vu, or maybe it was just how all angry Asians tried to express their…anger, but like Mike, Tina was going for the throat, attempting to succeed where her boyfriend had failed. Finn gave up being a neutral party and intervened, pulling her off before either one of them could get hurt. When her mother finally got to the door to see what the commotion was she found a flailing Tina in the arms of the tall quarterback, a few toppled pieces of furniture, a broken lamp, and a certain half-strangled, stupid-but-loveable mohawked jock gasping for breath on her bed.

It came as no great surprise when she asked them to leave and never come back, though Finn hoped that once Tina calmed down she would clear up that they were merely trying to ask some questions and not, he repeated, not attempting to kidnap/torture/legitimately interrogate her.

As they walked away, Puck still sulking and trying to figure out another lead for this conspiracy he was creating in his head, Finn couldn't shake the feeling that this, whatever this was, was far from over. And whenever it finally got to over, it would not end well.

That, he could almost guarantee.


-:-:-:-:-:-


Endnotes:

My thanks to all of you that read/reviewed, the first chapter of Effective Communication, specifically Mathias, Morkhan, Rogue Ranger, and Gabwr. Your feedback is always appreciated and, as usual, it got me thinking. To be honest, I was going to make this strictly a friendship fic, but after y'alls reviews I've been entertaining the idea of adding a slight slash element. I'm not sure though, I'm still thinking about it.

I think this ship is Puckerchang, because that make's me smile and the only other option that doesn't remind me of dirt or a fish is Changerman, and that's not really much better. Also, I appreciate the extra syllables, makes it more fun to say.

What do you guys think?

Next update is going to be 1-2 weeks from now, I'm going to be a little busy, just a heads up.

Until next time.