Chapter 4

Fattening up for Central

Once more the two agents were awakened by the opening of the cell door. Instead of being removed, a doctor entered to examine them. After cleaning and applying a smoothing lotion, he gave them antibiotics.

Next they were given a full meal. The smell of the Bandeja Paisa made their stomachs growl. After not having anything other than brown bread for a few days, they were ready to dig in immediately.

The huge platter of grilled steak, fried pork rind, chorizo sausages on rice and red beans was topped with a fried egg and a side of sliced avocado and sweet banana chips.

After the guards and the doctor left, Illya looked at Napoleon. "I don't understand."

"I have a feeling someone else is giving orders now," Napoleon answered examining his food. "Smells and looks okay. Do you think we should try it?"

"They could kill us at any time, and have already tried drugs," Illya dug into the food.

Just after they finished eating, Restrepo entered the cell. "Why the change of heart?" Napoleon asked pointing to the empty dishes with a knowing grin.

"Don't gloat Solo. Someone from Central will be here in the morning and then neither of you will keep your secrets long," with this he turned as stormed out of the cell.

"Seems like Central would like our presence again," Illya sighed.

"One of the problems with being the best, everyone wants a piece of you. You do know that we need to get out of here tonight don't you?" Napoleon asked and then proceeded to outline his plan. Even when flying by the seat of his pant, his plans were generally successful.

"Why must I always be the one that is ill?" Illya complained.

"Cause Tovarisch, you play pitiful so much better than I do."

…..

Illya began to moan as he held his stomach. The guard only glanced in his direction.

"Illya, what's a matter?" Napoleon asked loudly as he knelt beside his partner.

"Napoleon, I think that I am having a reaction to the food. There must have had peppers in it, and you know how badly I react to them."

"Guard, unless you want a dead man you better get some help here," Napoleon yelled toward the door.

"What's the noise in here?" the guard demanded.

"He has a bad allergy to peppers. We were so hungry that we didn't even notice it when we were eating. If he doesn't get treatment immediately, he's going to die."

While Napoleon was explaining the situation to the guard, Illya feigned becoming short of breath and withered on the pile of hay. He held his stomach as he yelled out a groan of pain.

Escaping Again

This brought the guard into the cell. He ordered Napoleon away with his rifle. "One move from you and he gets it," as he bent over to check on the moaning Russian.

In a second the guard laid unconscious on the straw. Illya grabbed the rifle and led the way out of the cell. They ran along the halls, past the interrogation room and up the stairs to the exit. As the door opened the piercing sound of the alarm sounded.

Both agents continued running, Illya firing at the men coming their way. Napoleon scooped up a gun from a fallen guard following behind his partner into the rainforest.

Angry monkeys screeched loudly in the night, perceiving that they were being threatened by the human's presence. The calls of birds woken from their sleep joined the howls of the monkeys giving the trackers an audible trail to follow.

Thick trees and vines tripped them up in the darkness. They stumbled often as they attempted to stay ahead of the men following them but failed. Pulling up and glancing around, they knew that they were surrounded.

"Tovarisch?" Napoleon asked looking toward his partner pointing to his own mouth.

"We have no choice. Let's hope that the capsule is as good as research tells us. I hope to see you in an hour, my friend," Illya said as he dislodged the capsule from his false tooth and swallowed it. Napoleon followed suit.

Although it wouldn't work for a few minutes, both knew this could mean the end of their lives. They raised their hands and were silent during the beating that followed until they collapsed.

"They are dead sir," the guard said after examining them. "I smell almonds."

"I did not think UNCLE went for cyanide capsules. Leave their bodies, the animals will take care of them." He said and walked back to the compound. Restrepo would be angry, but what was he to do.

…..

When they arrived back at the compound Romeos reported to Restrepo. "I'm sorry sir, but who would have thought UNCLE would supply their men with a method of suicide."

"You were told to capture them," Reatrepo raged, "Not to beat them again."

"But sir," was all he managed to say before the gun blast hit him in the chest.

"Clean up this mess, and get me Central."

The discussion with Central didn't go well. They were questioning his ability to control his men. The project was finished unless the missing part was found, and with the dead UNCLE agents that won't happen. Restrepo drank himself to sleep that night.

…..

The night was darker when they woke. The fact that they felt every little pain, and had a headache that threatened to tear their heads off their shoulder was even desirable to death. They knew that they had fooled Thrush. Now the question was could they continue to a place where aide would be available.

Both had to admit their reserves and strength was almost gone. They helped one another get up and then moved along the well-worn path. Finally they saw a camp fire in the distance village's center. As they reached the outskirts of the village, they fell for the last time and slid into the unconsciousness.

Awake

Jo noticed as the two men began to open their eyes. "April," she called, "They are waking up!"

Napoleon woke up first, smiling as he saw the two women. Jo gave him a sip of water, "Slowly," she warned as he tried to drink more. "You have been out for two days."

"Angels of mercy, where are we? How is Illya?" he asked.

Jo grinned, "I have been called a lot of things but never an angel. My brother is right next to you. He is coming through a little slower than you. You are in a clinic outside the city."

"What are you two doing here?"

April pushed the hair off his forehead, "Waverly felt you two needed bodyguards, and the Columbian agents needed to follow up on another assignment. Balboa along with Restrepo is attempting to keep you here until they find out what happened in the forest—or so they've told the central government. Waverly's working with his political connections to have you released."

Illya woke coughing. April gave him sips of water and helped him sit up some, "Hi there," she smiled at him, "Have a nice nap?"

She repeated her explanation to Illya. "How safe are we?" he asked.

"I don't want to take bets on it," April informed him.

She could see both men were experiencing pain, so she drew two syringes; handing one to Jo.

"What's that?" Napoleon asked.

"Something for the pain," April explained.

Jo began to inject the medication into Napoleon's IV line

"Don't you want me to turn over," Napoleon teased.

"Cute, Mr. Solo," Jo told him, "I've seen a lot more than your bare butt that keeps me interested in you," and continued to push the medication.

Illya uncharacteristically accepted the medication without complaint; giving a clue to the amount of pain he was in.

"You two get some more sleep. I'm going to inform Waverly that you're awake and see how much progress he's made," April said.

After speaking to Waverly and learning that he was still working on getting them transferred to New York, the two women began to worry. Now that Napoleon and Illya were awake it was likely that there'd be a move against them.

…..

Later that day, Luis Alberto and Carlos Fernando arrived to check on the agents' condition. "Why do not you ladies take a walk around the village," Carlos offered, "After all you have been locked up in this room for the last two days."

Shopping

The girls looked at each other, "Shopping!" April said with a grin. If there was anything that April loved more than being an UNCLE agent, it was shopping.

They checked the men's IV fluids and after ensuring that they were comfortable; the women left.

The mountains were clearly visible over the forest that surrounded the small village, with perhaps only twenty-five families living there.

Children leaned in many of the doorways of their poorly maintained wooden houses, smiling and waving to the women as they passed on the dirt road. As they reached the general store, other children circled around them.

They walked inside, noting that the children stayed outside. "They aren't allowed in," April commented in answer to Jo's questioning look. "Not if gringoes are here. It's believed that if they're in here we might not buy."

"Eto smeshno (that is ridiculous) April," she said in Russian.

"But the way of life here," April shrugged.

"Da, YA taĭskiĭ eto ponimayut, no ne nado eto nravit·sya. (I understand it, but do not have to like it)." Jo smiled sadly at the children. She remembered being one of them. Wanting what others had, but not allowed to have it.

…..

April and Jo tried on some native clothing, which made the children laugh when the women turned modeling the clothing for them as they peeked through the door.

April finally selected a white top, while Jo predictably chose a black one, both sewn with brown yellow, white, orange and reds designs as well as brown full-length shawls with similar designs.

Before finalizing their purchases, Jo had the man behind the counter empty a large glass container of candy into a bag; paying for that as well. As they left the store, she sat down on the steps and passed out the candy out to the children.

"Can't wait to tell all the guys about the other side of Jo Kuryakin," April said grinning at her.

"I would suggest that you not follow through with that," Jo gave her a warning glance, "Remember April, I can always deny it and pay back will be sweeter than that candy."

April lead the way back to the clinic laughing. True Jo would pay her back, but it would be worth it to have one of the myths about the female Kuryakin dispelled; especially since she hadn't noticed April taking a picture with her camera disguised as a lighter.

…..

"Well, what did you buy?" Napoleon asked April after Jo had escorted Luis and Carlos to their car.

Both men seemed more comfortable and awake now. April pulled out the clothes and showed the guys them. "Jo brought things also."

"Rather decadent for a Communist; buying something absolutely without needing it," Napoleon teased her.

"Napoleon Solo, I will have you know that I buy things all the time that are not always necessary." Jo shot back at him.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her toward him kissing her gently on the lips. "Just teasing my love," he whispered in her ear.

"I like the way you have of quieting her down," Illya said, "Oh Jo, I do have one question," She looked his way, "Do you have any more of the candy April said you were giving out?"

"April!" she moaned.

"Couldn't pass it up, sorry dear." A big grin across her faces belaying what she said.

…..

After supper, Napoleon and Illya fell back to sleep. Jo laid down for some at the same time with April on guard. Before April could do anything, the window suddenly exploded and gas seeped into the room,

Within seconds, everyone was unconscious and never saw the Thrushes who were there to transfer them to the waiting truck.