Of Wolves and Wizards

By ChaoticTeacup

Twilight/Wizards of Waverly Place crossover

Rating: PG13 currently. Subject to change.

Summary: When Alex gets dragged along to Juliet's family reunion, she thinks being stuck with her brother and his sappy girlfriend is the worst thing that could happen. Sorry Alex, welcome to Forks, Washington! Vampires, Wizards, and Werewolves, Oh My!

Disclaimer: Isn't it obvious?

Authors Note: I'm sorry about the amount of time this took. I had midterms. Anyway I was stuck as to how to write the next bit so I'm posting what's been written.

REVIEWS MAKE ME WRITE FASTER.

Chapter 6

Breakfast was a quiet affair. Edward sat as far away from Alex as he could, still fuming silently. Alex for her part was between Jasper and Rosalie, talking animatedly about the latest action movie she wanted to see. Alice was talking to Esme and Juliet and every-so-often sending happy smiles at Alex and Jasper and squeezing Jasper's hand. Justin sat next to Juliet and was trying to engage Emmett in a conversation about the landmarks around Forks. Unfortunately for Justin, Emmett wasn't much for conversation so he turned to Carlisle to engage the older looking man when he caught an odd look from Edward. Nudging Juliet he whispered quietly

"Why is he looking at me like that?"

Unfortunately for Justin, he hadn't taken into account Vampire's excellent hearing and everyone stopped talking except Alex, who only stopped when she realized everyone had stopped moving. Like clockwork the family's eyes slid smoothly from Justin to Edward, who was polite enough to look slightly abashed.

"It's his brain"

Jasper raised an eyebrow. The rest of the assembled just looked mildly confused.

"It keeps spouting NONSENSE!" Edward appeared slightly unhinged. "All MORNING and I can't TAKE IT!!! I don't want to KNOW how many peanuts you can shove up your nose at once! I don't care about the guacamole toxic sludge on your floor! I don't want to talk to DESKS!!! For god's sake IT WONT LEAVE ME ALONE!!!"

While Edward had not had such an outward display of emotion in nearly a century, and God knows he needed it, Esme didn't want their new guests thinking that her favorite son was a deranged lunatic. She was about to intervene when he whirled to face Alex.

"And don't get me started on YOU! Ms. Fruity-nut-popsicle-stick fashion designer! I've had it up to HERE with your insane ramblings about yourself! Do you always miss yourself so much?!? Your identity crisis is driving me UP THE WALL!" Edward stopped a moment to breathe. While he didn't need to, it is a biological fact that speaking is caused by air reverberating through the vocal chords, so he took a deep breath to continue his rant. "And Feel Good JUICE! Why do you have it?? And if you HAVE IT! WHY Won't you give me some! I NEED TO BE HAPPY DAMMIT!....." he seemed to falter for a moment, but something started him off again. "GODAMNIT I WILL NOT TRY THE MONKEY BARS!!!" With that Edward was gone; the whoosh of his speedy departure sending a slight wind through the room.

Nobody moved.

Tumbleweeds rolled by.

….

"Well that was weird." Jasper said to no one in particular.

"I swear he's not really a lunatic" Esme tried to do some damage control.

"I'll believe that when I see it" Rosalie's comment wasn't much appreciated by her 'parents'.

-------

The afternoon found the unorthodox family driving into Port Angeles for some retail therapy.

The weather had allowed so the remaining vampire's took the newcomers out to see the sights. They all bundled into Esme's family van. Rosalie took the wheel while Emmett called shotgun. Justin and Juliet took the middle row and Alice, Jasper, and Alex bundled into the back.

Esme and Carlisle waved as they set off.

"Why did I have to have the bitch seat?" Alex grumbled.

"Because your our new plaything, so we both want a piece of you" Alice smiled, her pointy canines showing. She grabbed one of Alex's arms and licked her lips.

Alex and Jasper both gave her wide eyed looks and staged a hastily retreat, both pressing into the other side of the car. Rosalie gave her 'sister' a look through the rear view mirror.

"Um...Alice? Dear?" Jasper asked hesitantly. "You....can't eat her"

"Don't worry love; I approve your new friendly. She will be....useful." Both Alex and Jasper looked at her, quite disturbed. She merely ignored them and tapped her fingers together giggling to herself.

"Jazz....you're girlfriend scares me" Alex nudged her new friend, still pressed against his side in an attempt to get away from Alice.

"Actually, she's my wife"

"She still scares me"

For her part, Alice merely took to leering at Alex every so often, causing the girl to shrink and claw at Jasper until Rosalie shouted at them to stop fucking around.

"Okay so that's the local grocery store" Emmett's voice distracted everyone. "And that's the local clothing store. And that's the local post office. And that's the local drugstore"

"....that's one building" Justin said flatly.

"Exactly. Welcome to Who-ville. Population laaaame"

"Doesn't that say more about your choice to live here than the town's obvious lameness?" Alex quipped.

"Weather's great for public life."

"Riiiiiight"

After the (very quick) tour of town, they set off for Port Angeles. Unknown to everyone in the vehicle, as they passed by Bella's on the way out of town, Edward fell over clutching his head and mumbling about cabbages.