A/N: This is probably the worst chapter in the whole story...again, sorry. Back when it was being posted on Quizilla, it was a rush to get it out for April Fools day... as opposed to 8 months later like what happens with a lot of our other work...
"Guess what day it is today?" Zabuza said with such a large and enthusiastic grin plastered across his terrifying face.
"The day you actually get off your fat ass and go to the orthodontist...?" Kyouki asked, grimacing slightly. Of course, she and all the others knew that there wasn't even a snowball's chance in hell of Zabuza ever actually sorting out his face.
"...No." Zabuza replied, arching what would have been an eyebrow... were they actually visible on his face.
"Oh...then what?" Raiga asked with more than a slight hint of disappointment, the idea of Zabuza's face being modified into something at least vaguely acceptable was one of the few things that brought a tiny shard of happiness to the otherwise hate-filled and dreary organization.
"April first!" Zabuza exclaimed. Although from the sheer lack of reaction his team mates gave, he felt his enthusiasm was somewhat misplaced. "...April Fools day?"
"What about it, eh?" Mangetsu asked, still not quite grasping exactly what it was Zabuza was getting at.
"Well it... it's today?" Zabuza stuttered out, astounded by the vacant expressions and... lack of intelligence displayed by his friends "Okay look that's not important... I've thought of an amazing prank we can play on Tatsuya!"
15 Minutes Later
Tatsuya walked into the living room where all his team mates were. "You know what I just did? I almost fell down the stairs, but my super quick reflexes saved me. You could be doing with some better reactions, Charlotte" he said, looking at Choujuurou, who didn't even so much as blink in response "Maybe I'll teach you someday." After waiting a minute and getting no reply Tatsuya got bored and turned round to talk to someone else.
"Hey, you. Woman! Are you resting again? You are so lazy! LOOK AT THIS PLACE, IT'S A MESS! Now go on, get up and clean it!" It wasn't as though being ignored by Kyouki was something completely out of the blue for Tatsuya, but something about the way that she hadn't even acknowledged him with a rude gesture or a cold stare felt slightly off for Tatsuya, "...STOP IGNORING ME!"
"...So do we have any missions to go on?" Kyouki asked, turning to face Kisame. By now, Tatsuya had become so irritated from her lack of response that he was stood there, poking her shoulder as hard as he possibly could, and she swore that if she didn't focus her attention on someone else, she'd lose all restraint and punch him right between the eyes.
"Can you believe this? She's ignoring me! That is so immature!" Tatsuya yelled, attempting to find a balance between glaring daggers at Kyouki and looking at Kisame in the hope of agreement.
"Not today, we've got to go protect... some guy... tomorrow, though." Kisame said, in answer to Kyouki's question, averting his eyes from – the now highly offended looking, Tatsuya.
"So, you're both going to ignore me. Fine, you both be gay together...or whatever the straight equivalent of gay is! I'll just speak to Mangetsu!" Tatsuya turned away from them, now looking at his Canadian comrade.
"Hey Mangetsu, want a game of hockey? Winner gets some maple syrup!" Mangetsu however, followed in Kyouki and Kisame's footsteps and refused to give Tatsuya his much desired attention. Instead, he continued to play videos games with Zabuza. "Fine, FINE. If you want to act like little kids then you do that. I'll go watch TV. I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU!" Tatsuya shouted, trembling with rage.
Tatsuya turned to leave, the one thing he hated more than anything else was to be ignored, to be in a room full of people and not receive even the vaguest hint of attention. And he was now so fed up with everyone's behaviour that he felt the mere sight of them would hurl him into a temper tantrum. However, the whole prank would be wasted if he just walked out without another word, or at least, so Mangetsu thought.
"So, when's his funeral, eh?" he asked, looking at directly Zabuza, with a somewhat blank expression painted across his face.
"...What?" Zabuza was caught slightly off guard by Mangetsu's question.
"The funeral. When is Tatsuya's funeral, eh?" Mangetsu asked again, a huge, sinister smile cracked on Zabuza's face when he finally caught on to what the pseudo-Canadian was saying.
"Oh, I don't know, should we even bother having one? It was so funny when I found him, he looked like he had fallen down the stairs. I laughed for about ten minutes before I could tell anyone!" Zabuza replied with a gleeful look on his face. He had always fantasised about telling everyone the joyous news of Tatsuya's death, and although this may not have been the real thing, it was close enough to make him happy.
"But I love funerals! If we're not going to have one we should at least light some candles for him and then clean out his room...then bury him!" Raiga said, irrespective of whether he was actually dead or not, he – like everyone else, was all for burying Tatsuya.
"What? WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'FUNERAL'? I'M NOT DEAD, I NEVER FELL DOWN THOSE STAIRS, I... I SAVED MYSELF!" Tatsuya yelled, spinning round on his heels and flailing his arms around in a desperate attempt to get their attention. Not that anyone was actually planning on giving it to him.
"OK, someone go get the candles, then we'll burn all his crap." Kisame said, "...and we'll need to find someone to replace him."
"I met this really good ninja yesterday. She could really kick butt." said Choujuurou, as he stood up. Whenever someone was told to go fetch or clean up something, the duty usually fell upon him.
"You can't replace me, I'm not dead! Even if I was, you can't replace me with a woman!" Tatsuya said, now beginning to panic.
"On second thoughts, it wouldn't be right to burn his stuff." Kisame began, and for a moment Tatsuya's face lit up "We should sell it and give it to a charity for domestically abused women... and orphans!" and then it went dim again.
"YOU BASTARDS! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, EVEN IF I AM DEAD! I'LL...I'LL HAUNT YOU GOOD!" It soon became impossible to hear what the other swordsmen were saying, since Tatsuya was yelling so loudly. However, they still pretended they couldn't hear him, even if their ears were close to bleeding.
After exhausting himself, Tatsuya retreated to a corner where he hugged his legs to his chest. "Maybe I really am dead...why am I still here though? Surely if I was dead I would be in a world where the woman did the cleaning...what if I have to stay like this forever? WHO WILL MAKE HER CLEAN?" By now he was so busy with his insane ramblings he hadn't noticed that Kyouki had given up on pretending he didn't exist and was now cocking an eyebrow at him. "I'll have to watch as this place turns to chaos. I can't do it. I can't watch as the woman does whatever the hell she likes. I can't just sit here without anyone being able to hear me. Who'll take care of my Charizard? And all my digimon...they need to be fed..." His voice changed to a low mumble as he began to rock back and forth. After another five minutes or so Tatsuya began to pulling at his hair and let out a low chuckle. He then held out his right hand and gasped.
"...Oh god! I'M DISAPPEARING! Soon I'll be completely gone...but...but I WANT TO LIVE!" Tatsuya continued to yell, losing what little sanity he still had.
"Hey look, it's 12 o'clock, eh!" Mangetsu said.
"You're right..." Kyouki said, turning to Tatsuya and giving him a rather worried look, "...I think we broke him."
"WOMAN, YOU CAN SEE ME!" Tatsuya yelled, springing to his feet and clutching her by the shoulders, practically shaking her like a rag doll. "It's not ideal if it's you. But at least there's someone I can annoy!"
"Tatsuya..." Kisame sighed, "We can all see you, it was a joke!"
"WHAT?" Tatsuya had released his grip Kyouki's shoulders, pushed past her and was now screaming directly in Kisame's face. "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?"
"Because it's April Fools day, apparently..." Raiga said, making the whole thing sound obvious, even though he himself had no idea about it until an hour previously.
"Zabuza said it would be funny if we all pretended you were dead..." Choujuurou nodded.
"And frankly Zabuza, it wasn't as hilarious as you claimed it would be. You suck." Raiga finished off, folding his arms and leaning against the wall as he spoke.
"Hey, hey, hey! I said it would be funny if we ignored him! Mangetsu's the one who took the whole thing too far!" Zabuza pointed a finger accusingly and Mangetsu, pretending to be in complete ignorance of Raiga's comment.
"Yeah, but you all have to admit, watching Tatsuya go insane was pretty hilarious, eh." Whilst everyone else agreed with Mangetsu, Tatsuya spent the majority of the day crying... and glaring at Kyouki whenever she told him to "shut up and take it like a man"...and of course, no one felt sorry for him.