I lay over him, gazing into his eyes with a million and one questions shooting through my over-stimulated brain. He stares back, his chocolate eyes so secretive, yet...I could swear there's a hint of mischief there. The only responsible part of my brain left is telling me to move, and I would, I really would but I can't!

Warm hands are still on my back, slipped under the cotton of my shirt with no hint of them moving. Not that I want them to move, but I really should get off of him. Like.. really really should.

Or not.

Only when I feel the slight stroke of warm fingers at my back do I realise he's not scared. I look into his eyes and he looks content, even slightly amused... But shouldn't he be petrified? What is going on?

"Sy."

"Yes."

There it is, that glint again.

"What's-"

A sharp shrill ring of a phone breaks through my sentence and I'm left open-mouthed, presumably looking like an idiot. With a half attempt at holding in a laugh he reaches over to his bedside table. Only just about reaching far enough he picks up the phone, pressing a button and holding it to his ear.

"Hello?"

I wait... and watch as his expression changes in a split second. He sits bolt upright, taking me with him.

"Hello! How are you?" he bites on his lip nervously. I wonder who it is? I make to move off his lap to give him some privacy, but he doesn't let me, locking me in place with a rather strong arm around my back. "Yeah.. right, okay... uhuh..."

With his dishevelled hair and kiss-swollen lips he looks simply to die for. Edible. I could actually eat him.

His eyes widen suddenly, a look of complete shock on his face. "Oh that's fantastic news! Thank you so much! Yes of course. Okay, one second..." Leaning over to the side again he pulls open a draw and searches for a few seconds, pulling out a pen mere moments later and evidently looking around for paper that isn't there. Sitting back up again he looks at me for help, eyes wide and gorgeous. Without a second thought I hold my arm out to him. For a moment he looks confused, before understanding what I mean with a smile. "Okay, ready. Yep.." He takes my arm in his hand, not even pretending he isn't admiring the muscle, and scribbles something down on my skin, a number below. It tickles, but the warmth of his skin on mine makes me forget about everything else. Lip between teeth I don't think seeing someone concentrate this hard will ever be as hot to me as he is right now.

"Okay, all done! Thank you again. Great, okay I'll see you on Monday!" Hanging up the phone he takes a few seconds to breathe before dropping it to the bed in shock.

"What was that?" I ask, trying but failing not to be nosy. From his exited little face I don't think he really cares..!

"I... I got the job!" he says, as if he doesn't quite believe it.

Oh brilliant!

"Hey! Well done you!"

"I can't believe it..."

"Oh Sy that's fantastic news. Congratulations." Taking his face in my hands I let my fingers slide through those thick waves. "Knew you would."

His face moves closer to mine, nose touching nose. I want to get back to where we just were, only moments ago. With a slight lean forward he presses his lips to mine, warm and inviting, still smiling away. Who am I to resist? Lips never parting I push him back onto the bed, hands resting either side of his head. Through the quiet moan into my mouth I know he is as lost as I am. We search, touch, explore, his tongue making a hot trail of desire over my burning lips. His shoulders tense and I can feel his heart beat fast. He's not new to this, there's no way.

Mind racing I try to distinguish some of the blurry thoughts making their way to the front of my brain. From the rubbish day he's had he obviously is in need of some comfort and reassurance - me - but he's made it pretty clear this isn't what he wants us to be doing... yet here he is with his... fuck... tongue down my throat! and the only thing I can do is run my hand up his side and slip it under his shirt. The warm silken skin feels so incredibly smooth under my fingertips... he tenses, breathing heavily into my mouth as his groin presses into mine... Stop it Christian, stop it stop it stop it.

"Sy..." I mumble, resting my forehead on his. This is too hard. Too bloody hard!

"I have a job." He says, eyes shining and grinning away. My stomach actually flips a little at this. Once over his mini-celebration he calms himself, taking a breath. "Sorry, serious discussion." And trying his best to pull an 'I must be serious' face I can't help but smile and bring a hand to touch cup the back of his neck.

"Don't be sorry. It's just... can we talk for a second?"

A nod of his head and I roll off him, settling down on my side. He mirrors me, face pressed in to a cream coloured pillow and hair resting in unruly waves over his, let's be honest, stunning face. I certainly wouldn't mind waking to that every morning.

I actually wouldn't though.

The thought of me waking to him over and over isn't scary, the thought of me not waking to him is!

This is going to be difficult. I love that he's just had such good news, it's clearly a huge weight off his shoulders and he's looking at me like I'm a bloody God or something... but the need for discussion is becoming too great and as much as I'd rather not piss on his fire, things really must be said.

"I know what you're going to say so you might as well just say it." He says, taking me by surprise.

He does?

"Oh, okay... well," Sighing, I decide to just spit it out. It's inevitable this conversation is going to be awkward, but in any relationship truth is a main rule that must be followed, right...? "Have you ever slept with anyone before?" The question surprises even me and I regretfully wish I hadn't asked it...

Looking down he fiddles with the fabric of the duvet, smile fading, but not disappearing altogether. He's quiet for a long time, clearly working out the best way to tell me. I won't make this any harder for him then it already is, so placing a hand on his arm I offer him the little comfort I can. What if he has? What if he's in love with someone else and I'm about to be seriously crushed? No, no one else can have him. No one else will.

"When I was sixteen I met this guy..."

I look up when he starts talking, noting the beautiful features of his face scrunch up a little at the memory, like he's ashamed. "I'd had a crap day at school, I won't go into it, or we'll be here forever! but he was there for me, you know?"

I nod.

"Well he... he was only a few years older than me, and he started saying all these things..."

I take his hand in mine, squeezing gently. Please don't say what I think you're going to say..

"Oh, no.. it's not like that." Calm brown eyes meet with mine for reassurance. "He wasn't a creep or anything, I promise. It's just he was telling me how he'd been through the same thing, and we were talking for ages. He invited me back to his flat and we.." Holding his breath he looks at me, so bloody vulnerable. "It wasn't particularly nice, I didn't really enjoy it. Everyone always went on about how good sex was meant to be, how much fun it was... I knew that I was different to the other boys, I'd known for a while, but when.. it happened.." his eyes fall shut.

I cut in, I can't help myself.

"He had sex with you and you were sixteen." I am not surprised by the anger in my own voice. I can hardly talk though, I think my first time was when I was fifteen with some older bloke, but that's me, and this is him.

Syed nods, wary of my sudden change in temper.

"He did that to you knowing full well how vulnerable you were." Sick bastard!

"No, Christian it wasn't like that..." Resting a shaky hand on my arm he continues, "please don't be angry, it was my fault really."

"No. Don't you dare say that."

The sudden overwhelming urge to protect him from something that has already happened takes over me, fury burning fire through my veins. How could anyone do that to him? It's a miracle he isn't completely fucked up!

Sad eyes peer up at me through long lashes, he has clearly never exposed himself to someone in this way.

"I'm sorry." I say, wrapping an arm around his back, rubbing in soothing circles. "You don't have to say any more." Ignoring me, he keeps talking.

"After that there were two others. One night stands." He clarifies. "I was older then, I think about nineteen and twenty. But it wasn't what I wanted, Christian. They were nice people, yeah, but I felt nothing. I wanted to be with them and feel. I've never been with someone I've actually cared about, and that's why this is such a big thing for me." A sigh. "I want the next time to be something more, something that doesn't make me feel so horrible and... and disgusting afterwards... does that make any sense?"

It makes perfect sense.

"Yeah. Yeah it really does."

"You've been so great so far, Christian, but what if, and I'm not saying that you would, but what if afterwards you get bored, want to leave and-"

"I won't."

He shakes his head.

"You don't know that."

"I do. And I promise.. I won't just leave you."

He doesn't believe me.

"Listen to me," My hand brushes the hair from his eyes, "I will stop being so inappropriate, I will restrain myself, and I will wait until you are comfortable with it, okay? This isn't a big deal."

"You really don't mind sticking around with some idiot who doesn't speak to half his family, has a fear of commitment and can't even make toast without burning it...?"

"Hey now, that's no way to describe me."

He laughs a little.

"I'm serious, Christian."

"So am I."

Brown eyes gaze into me, searching for the signs that I'm telling him the truth, and I let him find them.

"With you," he traces the line of my jaw with a finger, "it's already different from the others."

"Yeah? In what way?"

Stopping his fingers he shakes his head, a blush creeping up his neck.

"Nothing."

"Tell me." Moving my mouth to his ear I lower my voice, practically purring, "Please."

He shivers, fingers twisting into the cotton of my shirt momentarily before releasing. Yep, still got it.

"I want to..."

"Want to what?"

He rolls his eyes.

"Sleep with you."

"Well that's a good start!"

"Shut up."

I grin.

"Your wish is my command."

Running my thumb over his lips I move my head closer, pressing my mouth to his, slowly this time, not hurried or rushed. We have all the time in the world.

Relaxing, he shuffles closer, allowing himself to be enveloped in my arms. As we lay there I hold him, listening to the gentle thump of his heart as it speeds up and slows down in correlation to my tongue. I could lay here with him all day, all night and not want to stop. There's one thing for sure, he's a damn good kisser, knows all the bloody tricks of the trade. He's a quick learner too, doing back to me what I do to him, teasing me just as much as I tease him, nipping my bottom lip between his teeth and sucking gently, so fucking gently...

...

Forever wrapped up in our kiss I don't even notice the time and how long we stay in this embrace. It could be mere minutes or hours later for all I know, but there's one more thing I need to ask.

"Can I ask you something?" I whisper into the warmth of his neck, his fingertips dancing delicately over the skin of my arms, answering only after his finger finishes drawing a little pattern.

"Yes."

"Am I... am I your boyfriend?" The words sound so strange coming from my mouth, so alien, and I feel like a complete and utter idiot, but his eyes meet mine with a smile and I know the answer.

"Do you want to be?"

A laugh.

"Well that's a silly question."