Chapter One: Nightmares

Word Count: 2, 017

His flesh boiled and bubbled with the intensity of lava that filled his veins. He could feel nothing but the heat and he felt as his skin melted away, leaving his fragile body exposed. The fire started to eat away at his muscles- leaving him bloody. Pain coursed through his body and he was held by chains the pulled him in every which direction. There was no way he could escape this even if he had the strength but all he felt was fire and smell his burning flesh. He could taste it in his mouth and he choked as he screamed out. There was no stopping it, he deserved it, the punishment, the pain. Yet, he couldn't help but call out- please, make it stop. He had been here for too long, forty years was too long to keep hope of escape. Sammy had given up him and he could feel it. There was no going back to his brother, there wasn't going to be no relief. Not even if there was, he wouldn't accept it- he deserved this, somehow he knew that he deserved this for all of the mistakes he made. He didn't protect Sam enough, he could have fought harder, lived better. That's when Alistair appeared to him, with that sick twisted smile he always wore. Clearly a man who loved his job way too much. Not that Dean could blame him, what else was there to do in Hell?

Gurgling from deep in his chest he spat out blood as his body was repaired quickly by the Demon before him, it was hot and tasted like copper. It came out in a rush and Dean couldn't stop it as it choked him. For a moment he felt whole again, felt alive until he saw the edge of the knife come close to graze the sensitive skin on his chest. There was split second where there was nothing, when the high of his newly repaired body stopped. He was no longer chained, he was simply strapped to a table, he had been on this table thousands of times yet his heart always sped up and his palms always sweat. He never came accustomed to it, at least his body didnt- his mind did. It came to the point where he welcomed the pain. Physically, the pain was too much to handle and as Alistair made cut after cut but mentally, his resolve started to fail. As much as he enjoyed the pain, he knew it was wrong and he disgusted himself. He just wanted it to stop, all the pain, all the memories. He just wanted it all to stop and he knew he could stop it. He just had to one thing- say yes.

It always came down to that didn't it?

So, after what seemed like days and he was repaired to perfect health so he could be subjected to this torture all over again in a matter of minutes. Alistair paused in his ministrations to study Dean. His lips turned up into a nasty smirk. He then looked at the special knife he held in his hand, looking back at Dean over the blade. Setting it on the table that sat just to the side of where Dean was sprawled out on. Alistair unclasped Dean's hands, and let the straps loose that held the hunter down. The knife was just within reach, all Dean had to do was wrap his hand around the handle and he could be free.

Taking a deep breath, he looked up. Above him it was a never ending sky of red and orange. It was smoky and hell wasn't really all it was cracked up to be. Screams could be heard, others crying out for their loved ones- much like he always did. They all asked for forgiveness, and for a second chance. He knew it was the wrong choice, but all he wanted was the torture to stop. He had lost so much and he was tired of being the hero, he just wanted out. So, when he met Alistair's eyes he grabbed the knife and held it firmly in his hand. He had made his choice.

He shouldn't have been surprised when Alistair brought out his Dad. He should have felt some sort of regret when he saw his Father's eyes fill with tears. He should have cared when he his Father cried out and asked him about Sam. What would Sammy think about what he was doing? It didn't matter. He was his own boss now. He didn't have to answer to anyone or protect anyone. He just had a job to do. That was causing pain, which wasn't all that different from his life before. All he ever did was cause pain.

He actually smiled when he made that first slice at his Father. In fact, he felt great. He guessed it was therapeutic. The man that had ruined his life from the start, took away his childhood. He never stood a chance because of the man in front of him. Now he would pay for causing his life to be so messed up, and for Sam. What he was doing was for Sam, he had convinced himself that he choice this for his brother.

Dean learned quickly, he knew exactly how the human body worked. He could formulate the best way to cause pain. It wasn't until much later that it occurred to him that he could cause Alistair pain. That he could get revenge for all the pain he felt at Alistair's hand. It didn't take him long to start dreaming about it. To practice all the different ways he would get his perfect, sweet revenge. Even with all this hate, with all this evil inside of him. It never occurred to Dean that it should feel as if he made the wrong choice, that it all meant something more.

It wasn't long until he was pulled out. There was a white bright light and then-

"Dean." Castiel's voice came from above him. "Dean, you are dreaming." A hand was on Dean's shoulder the same shoulder that hand the angel's palm scorched into his skin.

Dean's reaction was to violently jerk up, much like the way Cas and gripped him and raised him. Blinking away the tears the were burning his eyes, he took in his surroundings. Right, another cheap motel- Northern Michigan.

"What time is it?" He yawned, trying to suppress his memories. Trying to pretend it never happened, wiping away his tears.

"You were having a nightmare." Cas said with a tilt of his head.

"Yes, Cas." Dean sighed and turned his head away from the angel.

"Were you dreaming about hell?" Cas asked, his brow furrowed.

"Would you believe me if I said no?" Dean sighed.

"You are in need of comfort." Cas stated sitting down next to Dean at the edge of the bed.

"No, Cas. I'm alright." Dean looked at his companion steadily.

"That is a lie." Cas spoke firmly causing Dean to sigh.

"Cas, really I'm fine." Dean said waving his head in front of him as he laid back down on the bed. "It was just a dream." More like a memory.

There were no words from the Angel instead, Dean felt the other side of the bed dip. Castiel had moved to lay next to him on top on the blankets. Dean turned his head to say something but Castiel looked up at the ceiling. His face was troubled and he seemed as if he needed the comfort as much as Dean did. The hunter half expected the angel's arm to wrap around him, much like how Sam used to comfort him.

Dean's throat swelled and burned as hot tears filled his eyes once more. Sam. Thoughts of when he first came back from hell took over. The first few nights he didn't sleep, he knew nightmares would come and when his body finally gave out. It was Sam who crawled into bed with him and held him until he stopped convulsing. It was his brother that wiped away his tears and quieted his screams. Choking back his tears, Dean turned back to look at the ceiling. He let Cas stay where he was because he knew that he would keep the nightmares away. Even if for only a little while.

The next morning, Dean woke up with Cas still looking up at the ceiling. His breathing was even and the hunter may have thought he was asleep if it wasn't for fact that the angel's eyes were open. He had patiently laid next to him all night, seemingly comforting him into a deep sleep. There were no more nightmares that night, and Dean could almost feel as if Cas had something to do with it. That there was something he was doing besides just laying next to him, he felt something like love settle deep in his gut. Yet, he was sure it wasn't coming from him but from Cas. Oddly, he was okay with that and it left a smile on his face as they drove out of town. There was a hunt in Southern Virginia, and Dean was sure he could get them there in less than sixteen hours.

Dean thought they weren't any closer to getting Sam out.

Castiel rode all the way to Virginia with Dean, music was streaming from the radio and the angel came to terms with it being the same tracks over and over again. He thought that maybe Sam also had to come to terms with that, he remembered the first time he got into the Impala with Dean. Driver choices the music, passenger shuts his cake hole. That brought a slight smile to Cas's lips as he looked outside the window, he wished there was a way for him to get Sam out. Looking over at Dean now, who had been pretty much silent the entire drive- unless he was singing along to the words of the songs, rather horribly actually. Yet, Cas could not deny Dean that small comfort, it distracted him from Sam even if only momentarily. Now he was silent, his eyes on the stretch of road ahead of them. He had turned the music down low and Cas was barely aware of what time it was. They had stopped along the way for only Gas and food breaks. The angel was still unsure of when Dean actually relieved himself but he shook his head at the thought. The light had left the sky and maybe Dean had done it out of habit but Cas was sure that the hunter had turned down the music because Sam would have fallen asleep by now.

He could imagine Dean sitting in the driver's seat, singing along to his music, Sam having been participating only moments before. As Dean would look over to the passenger side he would see that Sam had dozed off. His head fallen back along the back of the seat, his body slouched and his legs spread apart for some type of spacial comfort. Cas could imagine how uncomfortable it would be or someone as large as Sam to fall asleep in a car, but it would not surprise him if he did it for Dean. He could see Dean shaking his head fondly and smiling at his brother, mumbling things about how Sam was a girl- which Cas never understood how it fit into the situation. Nonetheless, Cas was sure that the quiet stream of music was not for his benefit.

Studying Dean, the angel was sure that he would be surprised and eternally grateful if Cas somehow saved Sam from the cage. There was always a danger when it came to these things but Cas had done it once before- saved someone from Hell.

Saved Dean from hell.

Castiel felt as if he could do no wrong, Dean would be pleased with him and that's all that mattered after getting Sam out.