A/N – Hello all, once again I apologise for the delay of this chapter, but I'm sure you can all understand the pressure of exams and work and all that fun stuff! Exam period is nearly over though – woo! – and I plan to be writing a lot more soon. Also, I totally wrote most of this chapter before exams started, went to look for it the other night and it had pretty much disappeared? I tried my best but couldn't find it, so this is basically all re-written from scratch. Anyway, I hope you like it, and I adore every one of your comments, so thank you x
Warm droplets of water fall from the shower head onto the sensitised skin of my back. It feels like hours I've been in here, carefully washing my body with the familiar honey scented soap, fingers running over hair, head leant back as the water splashes carelessly over my still smiling face.
Beautiful images flash on the inner lids of closed eyes; his face, nervous but so sure smiling up at me. His tongue nipping out here and there over secretly hidden skin, warm lips pressing delicate kisses all over my body, worshiping me like no other has ever done before. I remember with a smile the way he felt around me, the way his warm mouth wrapped around me with such patience, yet eagerness as my fingers tightened impossibly in the depths of his hair.
And then the feel of his skin beneath my lips, carefully nipping at the taught skin beneath my greedy gaze. Fingers working through tousled locks of his hair, running them down the smooth marble of his chest until they find their destination. Barely hidden moans filling the room, fingers clenched in ruffled sheets, knuckles turning desperately white as I take him all the way in, until the taste of him is forever imprinted in the back of my throat...
He looked gorgeous, felt gorgeous. Everything about him makes me greedy; I want him more now than I did before I'd even had him. Seeing him like that... it's something I won't forget. Don't want to forget; not ever.
Warm hands brush my stomach and I'm brought back to the present, looking into the brown eyes gazing up at me. It was his idea, this – showering together. It's been a long time since I've showered with someone, especially after the first time, but this is different. Dark waves lay flat under the hot stream of water and I reach to brush some stubborn locks from his eyes. The stubble of his jaw drags lazily over my shoulder, the way he did earlier that emitted a low groan from deep within my throat. He's definitely a fast learner.
A warm soapy hand trails down my chest, and he follows the move of his fingertips with his gentle gaze. The way he looks at me, examines my body makes me feel incredible. His eyes hide nothing, he doesn't even try to pretend he's not turned on right now. The golden glow of his skin radiates all the more against the white tiles of my bathroom and I place a hand at the dip of his back, resisting the urge to shove him against the tiles and have my wicked way with him.
We wash, me pouring the soapy liquid into his hand while he cleans my chest with caressing strokes, and then me doing the same for him. Every now and then he reaches out to touch my skin, almost as if he's showing himself I'm real, that this isn't a dream. In all honesty I wasn't expecting this, not at all. It's so... intimate. Nothing in the past has ever been like this.
Gazing into the depths of his eyes I take us away from the focus of streaming water, leaning back to press my skin against the cool tiles. He follows, pressing into my chest as he rests his head in the crook of my neck, soaking hair dripping over my heaving chest. He does this to me, makes me breathless in ways I never before imagined, the air I so easily breathe becoming harder to inhale with the constricting of my chest. It's uncomfortable, though I'd say far from unpleasant. It's as if I enjoy the feeling of that tight dip in my stomach almost as much as I enjoy running my fingers through his dark hair.
His entire body's covered with that dark hair, dusted all over his chest, his legs, his arms. That little trail pulling to a tempting v at his lower abdomen, calling me to lick it, bite it between my teeth. I remember the way he squirmed beneath me as I trailed just the tip of my tongue over every inch of his stomach, fingers clenching in my hair as I worked my way lower. Maybe he's sharing my thoughts, as he seems to grow warmer against me, face flushed as he gasps for air. The humidity of the shower's almost unbearable, but seeing his wet lips in front of me is too much of a temptation as I capture his mouth with mine, just for a second, before reaching out behind him to turn off the tap, the stream of water, and allow us some air to breathe.
...
"Where are your small towels?" Syed asks, wet hair flopped all over his face as he stands in the bathroom doorway in just his boxers and a blue top, looking a little nervous. I don't know why. He looks bloody good enough to eat.
"Just in the cupboard here," I point, but reach to get him one anyway. Unlike him, I chose not to get dressed, sporting only a loosely wrapped towel around my waist. Chucking the neatly folded towel carelessly in his direction I stretch out my arms, mouth opening on a yawn. I don't miss the way his eyes follow the tensing of my muscles. Mental note to self; Syed likes muscles. It's what got him so hot earlier, being able to touch and feel my muscles at his own leisure. He especially liked it when I tensed my arms, just for him.
"I've left you a toothbrush on the side when you need it, and just chuck the towel in the basket when you're done." Moving nearer to him I deliberately stand close to his body in the doorway, watching the way his throat contracts as he swallows. "Coffee?" I ask in my best husky voice, freshly minted breath washing over him.
A nod.
"Yeah, thanks."
Walking past him to the kitchen, a smirk plays on my lips. He comes across as the innocent, but such a tiger in the bedroom. It's like... once he gets going he really gets going. Always the quiet ones.
Though he's not like anyone I've ever had before. In fact, he's really quite different. Flicking the kettle on and grabbing two mugs from the shelf I look over to my unmade bed. I should probably change the sheets.
Halfway through putting the clean mattress cover on the bed and he walks out of the bathroom, hair a fluffy mess as he continues to rub it with the towel. Eyes look over to me, and a faint blush plays on his cheeks as he realises what I'm doing.
"Coffee's on the side." I nod in the direction of the kitchen.
"Thanks."
"You hungry at all? There's stuff in the fridge if you wanna raid it. Or bread on the counter. You know where the cutlery is." A smile, and he heads to the kitchen as I continue to make the bed. It smells like him. Even when the sheets are all freshly made I can still detect his scent in the air. It's warm, and a little sweet, but mostly musky. Not some shop brought cologne - I can tell when he wears that - and although it's never unpleasant I always, without a doubt, prefer his natural scent. And he seems to like mine. At least I think he does, as he always seems to inhale when he sticks his head in the dip of my neck and makes a funny 'mmm' sound. I don't think he knows he's doing it, and it's really quiet, but I hear him every time.
He's in the kitchen now, but I can't hear him moving. Turning around I find him close behind me, holding his steaming cup of coffee in his hands.
"No food?" I ask.
"Not really hungry."
"You sure?"
"Positive. Ow..!" Moving the mug from his lips he pulls a face.
"Sy, you okay?" Two steps and I'm in front of him, heart beating incredibly fast. "What happened, are you hurt?" The words splutter out stupidly and he just looks at me, almost amused, but winces again.
"I... I burnth my thongue." He says pulling a sad face, and I take the mug from his hands before it does any more damage and place it on the side, taking his face between my hands.
"Go 'aaaaah'" I instruct.
He frowns, then looks suitably unimpressed as I make a face, urging him to do as he's told.
"aaa" he rolls his eyes. The tip of his tongue is a much brighter red than the rest.
"You silly sod." I murmur, tilting his head into the light to get a better look. "Does it sting?"
"Yeah."
"Do you want some cold milk?"
"Milk?"
"Yeah, isn't that supposed to help with burns?"
"I thought that was just for spicy food..."
"Oh... no wait, that's yoghurt."
"And milk."
I laugh.
"So do you want any?"
"Yoghurt?"
"Milk."
"Nah, I'm okay thanks."
"You sure?"
He doesn't respond, instead making a face as if to say 'Christian, shut up'.
I realise I'm still holding his face, his partially damp hair brushing over my hands. My thumb starts to stoke his cheek, the stubble beneath it incredibly tempting to lick. Yes, lick. I want to lick his face all over.
"Do I have something on my face?" He asks, moving a hand to check, but as it rests on mine he stills, looking at me.
"No." I breathe, moving a little closer.
"Am I about to?" he says, at first surprising me but then making me laugh as he raises an eyebrow. He certainly knows how to catch me by surprise. And make me laugh. I like that.
...
"Comfy?" I ask, looking down at the ruffled, fluffy haired boy who's just managed to stop shuffling about under the duvet covers. At first it made me anxious, worrying that he was nervous and starting to regret everything, but the moment he settled down and turned to look up at me all that anxiety washed away within a second. His fluffy hair still a little damp from the shower leaves little patches of water on the pillow below his head and slightly on his shirt. I frown a little; why is he wearing clothes again?
"Sorry that I keep stealing all your shirts..." he says, biting on his lower lip.
"I think I can forgive you," I murmur, pressing a kiss to his cheek and stroking my fingers delicately over his arm. "You're still alright about staying, yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Do you need to be up super early or anything?"
We could spend the day in bed tomorrow. I could get up early and make him breakfast in bed or something. Yeah, I'll do that. Surprise him. That'll be nice. Though I have to find out how he likes his eggs done first...
"Yeah I do... I..." his eyes give away he's thinking quickly, "I'm meeting my mum tomorrow for breakfast."
Oh. The disappointment isn't well hidden from my face.
"Okay.. how early's early?"
"Quite early. I mean I'll probably be gone before you even wake up, don't worry about it."
Don't worry about it? What?
"but... you will say goodbye, yeah?"
"Yeah."
I don't believe him.
"Look," sitting up slightly I continue, "Sy if you've got somewhere you need to be then you can tell me you know." I sound more pissed off than I actually am, I'm more worried than anything, worried at how quickly the mood has changed.
Brown eyes look at me, a slight frown above them.
"I told you, I need to meet my mum."
A few seconds of a staring match and I drop back down.
"Fine." I sigh.
"Fine."
We lay there in silence for a few minutes, listening to the quiet tick of the clock on my bedside table. It started off as uncomfortable, but as the minutes ticked by I slowly nudged my fingers against his palm, and we ended up loosely holding hands under the duvet, him stroking his thumb over my palm absent mindedly. It's only a couple of minutes later when Syed rolls his head to the side to face me and speaks.
"Christian..." any hint of annoyance in his voice is gone, instead replaced with slight worry.
"Yeah?"
"You don't... mind, do you?" he says quietly, lip nervously caught between a perfect set of teeth.
"Mind what?"
"That we didn't... never mind." He quickly cuts off, turning away from me. Well I'm having none of that.
"Hey," using my forefinger and thumb I tilt his chin to look up at me, "you can tell me, Sy. You can talk to me about anything, you know that don't you?"
I expect a nod in return, but instead he looks down, almost afraid to meet my gaze.
"You can tell me anything, I will never ever judge you okay? I promise." In this moment when he's being so secretive – and I can tell he's keeping something from me, I just can – I will him to be honest with me. The thought of him not being able to talk to me about anything makes me annoyed. He's my boyfriend for god's sake. My boyfriend... I smile.
I still don't get a nod, but he looks up at me again, brown eyes burning with something I can't quite put my finger on.
"We didn't, you know..."
My head slowly nods up and down trying to get the gist what he's saying, but eventually results in me shaking my head. I didn't 'know'.
"You know... do it."
"Do it?"
He looks uncomfortable.
"Sleep together." He says quietly and immediately looks as though he regrets it, cringing at the sentence that's left hanging in the air.
"Well, by my calculations we appear to be 'sleeping together' tonight.." I joke. He doesn't laugh.
"You know what I mean."
"Does that bother you?" I ask eventually, eyebrow slightly raised.
"No..."
"Then it doesn't bother me."
"...really?"
"Really!" I almost laugh. "You think that because we didn't have sex sex that I'm somewhat unsatisfied, is that it?"
The silence answers that question, and I can't help the chuckle that escapes my lips.
"You really are silly, you know that?"
A confused and somewhat offended expression plays on his features, only for me to kiss away the frown lines.
"Sy, what we did was... pretty amazing. I don't know about you but I was certainly satisfied. You've got to stop worrying about everything, okay? You'll get frown lines." I add at the end, rubbing away the tense muscle between his brows with my thumb. "What makes you think that part of sex is the be all and end all of it anyway?"
A frown.
"I... dunno, I just thought-"
"It's really not like that. Not for me, anyway." Well that's slight lie. It was like that before, when I used to pick up anything I could get my hands on, before he came along. It isn't the case now. It didn't even occur to me before but.. I wasn't even expecting to go there with him tonight. He made it perfectly clear he's not ready for that, and that's fine with me. If he's happy, I'm happy.
"If you're happy, I'm happy."
He smiles a little at this, and I'm glad of the relief that settles over him as he seems a lot more relaxed now, shuffling closer to me in the bed.
"I'm sorry," he starts, but I silence him.
"Shh..." Soft, warm lips meet mine halfway. "Let's just... lay here, okay?" I contemplate asking him to talk, but honestly we're both too tired for that. We will though, and soon. It's obvious there's a whole load of stuff going on in that head of his, and I need to work some of it out before we can go any further. Perhaps it's because I'm so tired that this is becoming a lot more confusing at the moment.
Nodding once, he settles into my embrace. I feel as the anxiety leaves him as his muscles visibly relax, and he exhales what seems to be a long held breath. This is what I wanted, just to hold him in my arms all night, forget about everything and just be with him. It feels odd to me to be holding someone so close to me for what will be an entire night. I don't even remember the last time I did this. But I'm enjoying it. A lot. And not just because someone's here with me, but because Syed's here with me.