Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Warnings: spoilers to the rest of Ai no Koto. There will be no more, after this.


Author's note: as noted…I'm not in high school anymore. I lost interest in this story, mostly due to some self-esteem problems, I should say…and then I got bored of Naruto altogether.

So. This is for those of you who want to know what the hell I was going to do with this story…

This is my rough draft; I had written it in my senior year of highschool, I think in the first half. There have been some changes made to the outline in general (that's going to be another chapter, labeled as "Outline." You can study it if you want, or ignore it, I don't care).

This is where I left you off, about. At the beginning of the school trip…

Chapter Nine

It's two weeks before they can meet again, and school trip is drawing close. The two of them start talking about what they're going to do in Kyoto and Nara, arguing loudly over what's worth seeing. They get into arguments in class just as often, Naruto still accuses Sasuke of not doing his homework, and Sasuke retaliates by saying that Naruto is an all around idiot. They glower at each other, and Naruto yells that the only things Sasuke's good at is writing worthless shodo, and annoying the crap out of everyone he ever meets. Naruto is sent out of class, and he's invited to Sasuke's house for dinner on Sunday. Naruto reluctantly agrees.

Before they eat, Sasuke teaches Naruto the basics of several kinds of martial arts, stretches and such.

Throughout the dinner, Sasuke seems to be rather possessive of Naruto, as if he's flaunting him to his parents. Naruto tries to talk to the mom and dad like they were similar to Kakashi, gets disapproving looks, and starts to talk less. Itachi shows up for dinner halfway through, and Naruto shuts up altogether. Itachi, amused, asks Naruto about school. He ignores Sasuke completely.

On the way back to the train station, Naruto argues with Sasuke on acceptance, annoying the general public, and isolating themselves. Sasuke accuses him of looking after only his own interests, and being ashamed of their friendship. Naruto gets annoyed, and says that holding hands is too girly. Sasuke, irritated, kisses Naruto rather roughly, and Naruto just laughs at him. "Nuh-uh. I'm not a chew toy," he teases, and demonstrates a little more subtle, less air-sucking way to kiss.

Time passes swiftly, and on the plane to Nara, the boys sit next to each other in the airport, arguing vehemently. People start whispering around them, but neither really notices. Naruto ignores Sakura, in Sasuke's group, and challenges Sasuke to almost everything he can think of. The teachers are exasperated. The kids laugh behind their backs in train stations and on buses, making snide remarks at every opportunity. The adults ignore the two altogether. Iruka ignores the situation altogether, and just asks Naruto about Kakashi, life, and what he plans on getting his family for souvenirs.

School trip passes with many arguments and stolen kisses, further isolating the two boys. On the return to town, people tend to ignore the two altogether, silent disapproval heavy in the air. Boys continue to laugh, girls to whisper. Shikamaru ignores the subject altogether, and tells Naruto simply to be careful on his way home from work. Sakura yells at Naruto for unknown reasons, and Ino just watches, cold and removed. She tends to try to keep Sakura away from the two. Lee is also rather distant, obsessed with defeating the genius Neji. He's often found after school, studying until late, attending every extra class offered and asking more questions than anyone. He's one of the few people who honestly don't know anything about Sasuke and Naruto's relationship.

Asuma splits up the partnership, and moves Naruto with Neji. Neji seems to blame Naruto for everything, and accuses him of cheating. Naruto grumbles, and says that Neji isn't the only special person in the room. He talks about how Neji refuses to shoulder any responsibility, and always blames something besides himself. He ignores the people who are better than him, and the people who honestly try. The things important to Neji are family, power, and fate. Naruto starts to lecture him on how the theories behind the math aren't important, knowing how to use them are. He comes up with several creative ways to solve problems faster than Neji, without appearing to know why infinity by infinity is unaffected.

Neji is annoyed at Naruto, and Naruto just smirks at him. "If you don't want to change the way things are, fine. But schools won't choose kids forever 'cause of test scores, family and money. . . things are gonna change. I'll make sure of it."

Chapter Ten

On his way home from work one day, Naruto finds out he's being followed by a group of boys. They taunt him from behind, sticking to the shadows and not really showing themselves. They accuse him of trying to be a girl, of opening his legs too wide, and being weak. Naruto gets fed up with them, and uses some of what Sasuke taught him to fend the boys off. They pull a few tricks, and Naruto is forced to think quickly to avoid being killed. The kids are outsmarted, but Naruto bears the brunt of the injuries. They find him swiftly, and seriously look like they're going to kill him.

There's no warning towards the boys. The kids ganging up on Naruto are simply lessened one by one as an invisible force removes them. Finally, a short scream alerts the others to what Naruto already saw. A tall, dark haired, pale man laughs quietly, smile stretched across his face. "You seem to attract trouble," he notes. Naruto stares, and struggles to his feet. "Allow me to help you. . ."

"Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto."

Smile widens. "Naruto."

". . .no, thanks." retreats, with the man laughing in the background. Returns home, only to dream of blood on snow.

Chapter Eleven

Sasuke is lectured by his parents on attracting too much attention. He's expected to go to university, to get good grades and uphold the family name. Itachi is politely left out of the discussion, a genius who's graduated years before. He works somewhere, but Sasuke never really knew where. Itachi just laughs silently at his brother's plight, eyes empty and expression blank. His lips quirk once, but he shows no real interest in Sasuke. "Seems you'll have to give up your little toy," he notes, uninterested, and not really speaking to Sasuke. As if Sasuke's not even worth his time.

Sasuke throws a fit, runs off to visit Naruto. The New Year's season has come and gone, the decorations are being pulled down and everyone is making ready for school. He takes the train to Naruto's house, and doesn't notice Orochimaru in the background. Orochimaru's golden eyes glint, and he ponders the youth with black hair and unfocused eyes.

Naruto reluctantly sneaks out of his house, to meet with Sasuke. Sasuke kisses him over and over, barely giving him room to breathe, not explaining why he's there. Naruto, annoyed, and not certain he enjoys the attention, pushes Sasuke away. His birthmarks seem to cover his entire face, and as he starts to talk, he just forgets what he was going to say. It occurs to him, in a jolt, that Sasuke's leaving him, and all he can do is squeeze him too tight, kiss his face, and try to bring him back to his house, to talk, to convince him to stay. He gets astray, and as Naruto tries to find where they are, he loses Sasuke.

Sakura has snuck out of the house, also, to avoid her parents and to clear her mind. She does this occasionally, but suspects her parents are aware of her nocturnal behavior. She meets up with Sasuke, slightly sad, slightly angry, mostly confused. She tries to bring him back to the train station, when Orochimaru and a few others show up. They remember him from before, and are frozen to the spot as memories of utter and complete terror resurface. Sasuke saves Sakura, moving them out of the way at the last second. Sakura tries to convince him to leave with her, and he shuts her up, unable to think. Black hair, those eyes. . . he's shaken up by the attention of the older man. Wants to leave, wants to give up on finding Naruto and just go. Feels guilty, and tries to escape with Sakura, to protect her. Orochimaru appears again, laughing quietly at the retreating boy. Naruto appears from nowhere, yells at Sasuke, and uses a few of his own ideas to fend off Orochimaru. The boy is knocked unconscious, and Sasuke is driven to attack Orochimaru, to fight as if he had no time to live.

Sakura watches in amazed fear as her crush is defeated by Orochimaru. He talks sweetly to the boy, and marks him as his own. Sakura sees nothing for an instant but the hideous face of a monster from her memories. History class surfaces in her mind, about the Vikings who believed the world existed within a snake who devoured itself. Sakura pulls out her cell phone when Orochimaru retreats, and calls Lee, saying simply that she needs his help, and that she's in the forest. She sounds scared, and like she really, really needs him.

Chapter Twelve

Naruto and Sasuke are taken to Lee's house. His parents are out of town on a business trip, and so he only has Gai-sensei looking in on him in the morning. They're safe to stay until then, so the teens relax a little. Naruto wakes up, takes care of Sasuke's wounds that Lee and Sakura already bandaged, and holds Sasuke close. Worried, scared, and seriously disturbed. When Sasuke does wake up a few hours later, he starts to talk to him gently, asking about how he feels and such, but Sasuke is dazed, and unwilling to really respond. He gets scared, and starts yelling at Sasuke to wake up. Sasuke looks at him, eyes clouded, haunted. "What the hell did you think you were doing? You should have done something. . . for Sakura at least!" Sasuke gets up, and walks to the train station with Naruto, after saying good bye to Lee. Lee offers to accompany them, but they decline. Naruto waits with Sasuke 'till the train leaves, and walks home.

He dreams of blood and death, of friends betrayed and slaughtered.

A few days later, Naruto goes to visit Sasuke under the pretence of studying for exams. The house seems to pulse with thick silence, and as he nears the door, Naruto realizes he can hear Sasuke yelling. He opens the door, goes inside, not realizing at first that the door was unlocked. Habit lets him remove his shoes, and he follows the voices, pained and too loud, to Sasuke.

Not really understanding what's going on, Naruto forces himself between the two. Sasuke was attacking Itachi, forcing him to either move, block, or be hit. The older man made no attempt to defend himself, and unwilling to see Sasuke hurt family, Naruto intervenes. Sasuke accidentally knocks him out, and the last thing Naruto sees is the indifferent face of Itachi, and Sasuke's panicked, worried eyes.

The eight year old sat in his brother's lap, uncomfortable being so close, but relishing in the attention he was being given. His black eyes shown with pride, homework in hand. He looked up at Itachi, his smart older brother who could do anything. Itachi's hold tightens sometimes, seems to strangle the younger boy, who merely gasps a little. Their mother in the next room doesn't seem to notice, doesn't seem to care. She says nothing.

It's not dark outside. Naruto notices that first. There's no attempt to hide what goes on in the bedroom, besides the shuttered windows. Sasuke cries as Itachi murmurs something indistinct in his ear, as his brother's pants go down. One, two, three. . .one, two, three. . . it's as mechanical as a waltz, not real. Not happening.

Sasuke cries as his brother washes him in the bathroom. Itachi looks at their parents meaningfully, but neither says anything. Neither confronts him, just sharing private glances and putting on blank faces. Sasuke asks his parents, tells them "Itachi hurt me. . . I don't like it when he's with me. . ." but they ignore him, until he's crying at their feet, begging his mother not to leave Sasuke alone with Itachi. She steps away from him, smiles tersely, and shakes his shoulders a little. "Don't lie to me, Sasuke. Itachi would never, ever hurt you. He's your brother. He's family."

There's no more dancing in the halls, no more hugs from a beloved older brother. It's as if Sasuke has ceased to exist, ceased to mean anything.

Naruto wakes up, cold and sweaty. His skin is paler than normal, and his birthmarks stand in stark contrast to his skin. He shakes with anger, with fear, with sorrow. He reaches for Sasuke and pulls away, not wanting to touch him, hurt him, not wanting the hurt to rub off on him. He blinks in confusion, simply confused. ". . .that's why you hate him. That's why you want him dead. . . he hurt. . ." he trailed off, unable to finish. Sasuke stares at him in shock, and then his eyes cloud over. As before, indifference masks his face, cool arrogance that keeps him apart from everyone else. Everyone he couldn't trust.

"I'll just. . . go. . ." Naruto stumbles out of the house, chest hurting, stomach rolling. He wants to throw up. Sasuke follows him to the train station, without saying anything. "Come with me?" he asks, and Sasuke says nothing, simply watches quietly as Naruto boards the train, watching him in the distance. He sits at the train station, and wonders. Forty-five minutes later, he boards the train, to find Naruto waiting for him. His blond hair covers his eyes, face set in a sad, determined way. The three lines from the perimeter of his face to the middle of his cheek segregate Naruto as well as anything else, when it comes down to it. Society doesn't like things that are different. Three little lines mark Naruto as untouchable. . .

Chapter Thirteen

It's getting dark when they go home. The world seems confined to their street alone, and as they make their way down the street of shops and vendors, all closed, they say nothing at all. The sound of laughter, quiet, dark and smokey, is what alerts them to Orochimaru. He has others with him now, men dressed in dark cloaks. The red patterns could have been found on yukata and formal kimono, but they somehow knew these two, the snake who created and destroyed the world, were connected.

"Sasuke-kun." Orochimaru smiles his snake-like smile. He seems pleased with himself, to have finally gotten the two of them alone, hurting, and all too easily manipulated. They were surrounded easily. "Have you finally made your choice?"

Sasuke growled low in his throat, anger flashing in dark eyes that seemed red. "I have." he moved in front of Naruto as the boy stared from man to man.

"I see. . ." Orochimaru chuckles. "It upsets me, Sasuke, that you should desert those who love you so dearly. Myself. Your family. . . I had hoped you would not disappoint your parents."

Sasuke stiffens. "This isn't about them."

"Aaa. . . I see. It begins and ends with you, Sasuke?" the smile stays, but his eyes are no longer amused. "You seem so certain of yourself." Sasuke frowns. ". . .when pressed to unbelievable ends, even the most doting mother will throw her child to the wolves. Human nature simply makes them that way," he murmurs.

"It starts and stops with me." Sasuke reiterated, even as he assumed a defensive posture.

"Selfish child." Orochimaru purred. He licked his lips, and his smile widened. "You have two choices. Live, or die."

MAYBE Chapter Fourteen? -- I like 13 better. . . 'n one epilogue. . .

From behind, two men moved, pulled Naruto backwards. Surprised, Naruto tried to retaliate with a punch, kicking towards one as his head spun. He wasn't thinking. He never could think straight, after dreaming. . . not even Kakashi could keep him aware. Clumsily, he fought for control, fought for his life. His arms were pinned, held so tightly he could barely breathe.

Naruto was vaguely aware of what occurred around him, and his eyes half closed as the conversation continued.

"No. . ." Sasuke chokes, looks wildly from Orochimaru to Naruto. "I'll kill you, you bastard. . ." everything blurs together, Sasuke is running towards Orochimaru, is met in the middle, and turned around. The next thing he knew, they're directly in front of him. Slowly, Naruto blinks, and feels a searing pain on his face. Something warm dripped down, staining his shirt. Pain blossoms in his stomach, making him cringe. Everything fades, except Sasuke's dark eyes.

Bronzed skin was parted in an instant, a moment after a loud shot broke the chilled air. She had no time to scream, no time to cry out. She was dead, brown eyes not even recognizably closed. The young woman's head was half gone, and blood poured into the white snow. It was no pretty decoration, but a moving, melting stream of warm slush fast cooling. He cried, not understanding, too young to even recognize death. The smell would remain with him long after, however, and long would the sight of red on white haunt his dreams.

And now the man, blond of hair with brilliant blue-green eyes, held him close. As if he'd never, ever leave, the man whispered reassurances, the words blurring to young ears. "It'll be all right, Naruto. 'Cause daddy's here. . ."

But it wasn't all right, and would never be. . . he was gone, gone forever, within minutes. Placed on the too-cold ground, sprawled in an uncomfortable manner, the child only stared in confusion, too tired to cry. He was hungry, cold, tired. . . the snow was not the place for him, and he yearned for the tall man's warm embrace. He reached out towards him, cooing gently.

The young man, his father, put his hands together, and for a moment Naruto was warm, surrounded by blue light fast turning violet, and then red. He was far from cold now, and approaching unnaturally warm. He cried silently, and gently his father hushed him. They found him soon, but he was already dying. He had bound himself to something, someone greater that Naruto and beyond the scope of living things. Disemboweled by their cruel weapons, the blond man was dead within minutes, with the warmth going from his lean, almost starved form to the tiny child. The warmth surrounded him until the men left, and a little after. But slowly, slowly, it seeped from him, also, until it was only in his face, and then segregated to three thin lines on his cheek. . .

A birth mark, he'd thought. But no. . . something else altogether.

When he was seven, Jiraiya taught him to ride his bike. When he was fifteen, Kakashi taught him how to shave, though he'd never needed to. . . too immature, even then. . . body different.

Kakashi. . . Jiraiya. . .they loved me, too. Sadness engulfed Naruto, knowing his warmth would fade, too. His family, those dearer to him than his own life, would suffer for this. Pointless. Useless death. He'd always imagined himself dying for a reason, dying to save someone or the entire village. . . He would have become strong. The boy had said as much, had said he'd truly become strong. . . worthy of fighting? He wanted to prove his existence to everyone, to let them remember him by something. Not forgotten with the passing of snows. . .

Snow. Sasuke. . . he loved him, too. Loved him like he loved no other, not more, not less, but different. He would give his life for his family, but for Sasuke, he would give everything. Heart, soul. . . anything to keep the dark eyes from being sad, anything to keep the hope alive in his heart. He loved him in a way that filled his heart with joy, even as it pained him, forced him to exist in a lovely, terrible way. . . Love was no choice. It took you, swallowed you whole, and never gave anything back, except the knowledge of emptiness when your beloved was away.

Sasuke couldn't hear him, but he said it. . . couldn't see him, but knew. Sasuke. . . I love. . .you. . .

Blue eyes clouded over, all life gone after a few minutes. He felt the blood leave Naruto, felt the warmth drain away. He held the boy close, tried to keep him warm, tried to keep the poison from spreading from his cheek, tried to keep the blood from pouring out the stomach. How. . .? He'd no choice. Never had one. His neck burned, his face screamed with fire and pain, as the boy in his arms died. Why did you leave me? The only one to trust him, to love him, to cherish him, gone.

. . .my fault. . .

He can't be dead. He wouldn't leave me here. . . the monk hadn't left the fox, hadn't left his love, without saying good bye. No. . . he never left her. . . they were together. Desperately, he tried to bring the warmth back to Naruto's cold eyes, wiped the blood-- tears --from his face, and rocked him gently. Softly, he hummed a children's melody, a song to celebrate the new year. The boy didn't stir, his eyes didn't wander. Anguished, he kisses him, gently pushing against the partially closed lips, trying to get a response. He waits for the life to return to the frozen eyes, for Naruto's mouth to turn upwards in amusement. To tease him about kissing, to challenge him to a game. . .

The tears fell, mixing with the blood, watering it down. It wasn't enough. The blood didn't wash away.

Epilogue

Jiraiya stood motionless against the sunset. Kakashi is seated, staring into the distance. They both watch the sun set, wait for the stars to show. As the last rays of light fade from view, Jiraiya sighs, and looks at Kakashi. "He didn't belong here," he murmured.

Kakashi's eyes shift, focus on Jiraiya, challenging. Pained. "No. He belonged. . . we just aren't. . . weren't. . . ready to accept him," he murmured, face hidden in shadows.

Jiraiya looks at him. "No, Kakashi. He belonged with his father. . . to be a normal, happy kid."

"Neither of them were normal."

"No. But it's what they wanted. . . to be accepted by everyone, to be loved by anyone."

"It's in human nature, to desire those things."

"Yes."

They are silent for a while, and Kakashi looks up at the stars. He sighed quietly, and closed his eyes. "He was born in the summer, wasn't he?" Jiraiya says nothing, stares into the distance as they remember Naruto's father. "A happy, summer baby. . ." he mused, and wondered what he'd been like, what he would have been like, with his father around. He would have smiled a lot, he decided, and laughed. He would be determined. . . would need the love of everyone, but not so desperately. Maybe. . . he would have been content to gain their love slowly, not force them to acknowledge him.

"He would have been. . ."

"Perfect." Kakashi struggled to keep from sighing again. "No. . . but he'd be. . ."

"Your teacher's son. A sort of nephew, not your own. . ."

"Child. He was. . . is. . . my child."

". . .yeah. . ."

They're silent for a moment longer. "He knew he wasn't born here, didn't he?" Kakashi wondered, and closed his eyes, remembering the day Naruto had flown in, heart racing, tears streaming. "He knew he was a child of war." The unspoken thought, a child of broken promises. They both knew. ". . .it might have worked." The fourth might have succeeded in his mission, might have saved everyone from a terrible, bitter fate. It had, and it hadn't. So much died with him, and again, with the death of his son.

"He figured out that we knew his dad, and that you adopted him because of obligations, not good will." Jiraiya noted, pipe in hand.

"But he forgot. Clean slate."

". . .so he did. . ."

They stare into the distance a while longer, the silence between them less intrusive, less painful. "Do you think he. . .?" Kakashi began, but stopped. It wasn't fair to Naruto to question his love for them.

Jiraiya looked at Kakashi, and raised an eyebrow. "He loved Sasuke." he noted, and glanced at the trees. "Probably."

Kakashi's eyes wandered to the place behind them, towards the glowing lights in the distance. "And Sasuke loved him." they both shift gazes uncomfortably. They know he's upset, that he needs someone to love him. The Uchiha family was. . . unforgiving. Sasuke was with his parents no longer, and Itachi had disappeared. His first love had died, had been killed violently with him in company, and now he was alone. Kakashi wondered. . .

"He can take care of himself," Jiraiya murmured. Maybe. . . love was too harsh.

Sasuke pondered what to write, brush in hand. Naruto had always liked the poetry. . . old fashioned. . . He wanted his life to mean something. Or had. He wanted to. . .

He wanted Naruto.

The words wrote themselves, almost, but they didn't. It was too wordy, too complicated. . . it didn't sound like Sasuke. . . it didn't sound like himself. Maybe I'm not. . . myself. . . It was too cold. The weight on his lap was unfamiliar, distracted him as the brush moved smoothly across the paper. It wasn't heavy, not really. It was small, compact. He wondered what kind of a noise it would make if he pulled the trigger, and how much of the poetry would be covered in blood. There were those who said guns were beautiful. It seemed bulbous to him, clumsy and slow, and far from painless. It was not beautiful. . .

Naruto. . . had called him beautiful. . .

Sasuke stood up, the gun at his side as he walked across the room. The sun had set an hour ago. He closed his eyes, and wished.

Nothing happened.

The End.

End notes: if I had the time, courage, or ambition, I'd flush this out (this is the rough draft, as you recall, and not the final). But I'm not going to. Sorry; I really have no desire to finish this…despite all the dreams I once had for it.

Thanks for the comments. You gave me a lot of what I wanted to hear, and helped me out. There have been a number of betas along the way, many of them originally commentors, and I enjoyed long conversations with them. I hope to always have fond memories of this story, even if it is a HS student's wandering, overly dramatic attempt at writing a novel...

Maybe we'll meet again? Maybe not. Be well, and good luck to you.