DAY 2, Campgrounds

Even though I warned the pervert not to dream about Evans, he still did. I have a wedgie and a memory of an extremely uncomfortable and traumatic situation I couldn't get out of.

I'm going to piss in his breakfast.

"Think of it this way, Sirius," the pervert laughed. "At least I didn't have a wet dream!"

Oh, ha ha. You are hilarious. Peter has asked us to stop talking about this, so I'll stop. I'm still pissing in the pervert's breakfast though.

DAY 2, Campgrounds

Remus' Plan to Get Us Out of This Horrible Situation

Eat breakfast. Pack up camp. Follow the downhill trail. Look out for villagers (they have to come up to the mountain sometimes, right?). Sleep along the trail until we get to village/town/city/metropolis/etc. Hunt/Fish/Gather (as necessary). Bond. Survive.

My Response

Hell no.

DAY 2, Campgrounds

Remus ignored me. Said I didn't have a better plan.

…So? I still have opinions.

James managed build a decent fire. (Although the wood was wet? What?)

Apparently Peter managed to find a stash of dry sticks under a pile of moss. Or something. I wasn't really listening. I was busy trying to find a way to piss in James' breakfast but Remus is guarding the food like a hormonal mother dragon. Merlin.

We're having hot dogs for breakfast! Yes!

DAY 2, Campgrounds

Last time we'll be at this place. Bye-bye. We're packing up and heading down the trail.

DAY 2, Downward Trail

James thinks he's a "natural leader" which is sort of is. He was the main man in our seven years as Marauders although none of us were really insubordinates. We just led in different things.

So he says he has a good sense of direction. Remus is useless because he's never used the trail. He always used a Portkey. (Apparently it wasn't a stick in his day–it was a boulder, but the use of discontinued because Muggles kept accidentally sitting on it.)

Even with a pretty confused leader, the downward trail is okay. Everything smells good. Looks pretty, with the flowers and all. I'm kind of enjoying the nature part.

DAY 2, Wilderness

The downward trail disappeared.

We don't know what happened. The dirt-packed road is just gone. Disappeared. It's just like… I don't know…

We are now on break. Leaders (Remus and James) are trying to figure out an initiative. While Peter looks frightened. He doesn't like darkness. He keeps peering into bushes he thinks is creepy and screams every five minutes when a bunny hops out. I try to tell him this is a Muggle forest and there aren't any magical creatures like at the Forbidden Forest, but after seven years of Howarts, the ingrained part of our logic is "Forest = Violent Death". I see where he's coming from.

Remus looks really serious. So does James. I hope they're doing the leadership thing okay because I want to enjoy the nature stuff and not have to think about the Next Plan of Action like at Hogwarts. That's why we're even on this camping trip. So we can have a breather from having to think critically like at Hogwarts and celebrate our adulthood.

And I wanted to hire strippers, buy kegs, and have a rave. But no…

DAY 2, Wilderness

Made up a new ditty called "Ranger Jamesie".

Ranger Jamesie

We've been following Ranger Jamesie 'cause he thinks he knows the way;

We've been walking around in circles for the whole fuckin' day.

Unappreciated by all, by the way.

DAY 2, Next to Tree in Wilderness

Setting up camp. Have been hiking the entire day. Exhausted. Nobody wants to make fire and set up tent. We're eating rubber penises in salty sauce again except I'm not going to talk about it. Writing about this makes me tired.

We're all hoping it doesn't rain. And also that we find the downward trail again. Or end up at the bottom of the mountain even without a trail.