Author's Note: Quick review reply because I was amused by the review-

Mario: Gracie Grace got a story because it was her birthday! Maybe if you tell me your birthday, you'll get a story dedicated to you then... Just a thought...

DAY 4, Some Part of Wilderness

Remus was Little Miss Sunshine this morning. He screamed into our ears and pulled us up, hopping around like a constipated leprechaun. He really wanted to wake me up because apparently, I "sleep way too much like a damn hibernating bear". Where did he even get that?

We had hot dog buns for breakfast then Remus pushed us onward. I guess he had some enlightening dream because he was whistling and pushing us down a path we never thought of. This path in the wilderness had a bit of a slope. I was all cheered up.

Then I had to piss. No one was very receptive.

This is how it went:

Heartwarming Conversation in the Forest

R: SIRIUS-BLOODY-BLACK! WHY DIDN'T YOU GO EARLIER?

S: I didn't have to go earlier. And you didn't even give us a piss-break, Mister Chipper-In-The-Morning. Just pull us up and whoop-di-doo. Now where's the loo?

J: We've established this. We're in the woods. There is no loo.

P: [laughs]

S: Shut up. I meant a makeshift loo.

R: [points] Go in the bushes.

S: Those bushes? They're thorny!

J: Thorny bushes are good for you. They put hair on your chest.

P: More like blisters on your penis. [laughs again]

S: [to Peter] Will you shut up? [to James] You too.

R: Fine, go in those bushes then. They're not thorny. They'll treat your penis well, you little bloated flobberworm.

S: Alright, alright. You all turn around.

P: Why do we have to turn around for?

S: So I can have my privacy!

J: What privacy? You've been blurting your secrets to us since first year! We all know who you slept with and all the rashes you've ever had in compromising places the past seven years.

S: That kind of privacy doesn't exist between mates. Naked privacy in the woods exists between mates. [responding to stares] Just turn around, alright?

P: Why?

R: Don't ask him Peter…

S: So you lot don't stare!

J: Why would we stare?

S: Perverted curiosity. And jealousy.

J: Of…?

S: You know what. Shut up and turn around.

R: Are you sure it's not because you're worried we'll mock you? We know it's tiny…

S: SHUT UP AND TURN AROUND!

P: Ooh, touchy.

S: [rude sign]

J: [whispering] Peter, how do you know how big he is…?

I care more about my bladder than maintaining my cover of sanity.

DAY 4, Some Part of Wilderness

As we headed downhill (here we come, village!), I thought I saw a bear and screamed. Then Peter freaked out, and Remus & James exchanged freaked-out looks but I realized it was a bush. I said sorry but everyone still wanted to throw pine cones at my head. Especially Peter since he almost started rolling down the hill and that could've killed him.

DAY 4, Some Part of Wilderness

Remus called for a break after lunch. He said we should do some normal camping things while we were heading downhill. (He said he knew this would lead downhill and to the village. Remembered some thing he learned from History of Magic or something. I forget what it was, exactly.)

So we took a break from walking after lunch. Then Remus took a nap on another boulder. What's with all these boulders in this forest? Peter started making rabbit traps. James and I decided to look around the forest to find something awesome to trick the other two with.

"Don't go far," Peter said in a Remus-like way. "We don't have our wands so if you get hurt or die, then we can't really do anything about it. We're going to work it out the Muggle way."

"Yeah, yeah," James said. "We'll be careful." Then we left.

Now we're collecting some of the berries we found in the bushes. First of all, they're not poisonous. I know what they are. They grew around the Grimmuald Place garden and I always tricked Regulus into eating them. He always thought they were blueberries.

We'll pick a bunch, give it to Remus and Peter, and laugh as they gag from the bad taste. James likes the idea.

He wants me to collect some berries, actually, instead of record-keeping. "You're becoming one of those pubescent girls who write down every little feeling and insecurity they have," he told me. "Get over here and help me pick these berries."

Whatever. I'm the official record-keeper. I have to write things down.

DAY 4, Some Part of Wilderness

LAUGHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW.

DAY 4, Some Part of Wilderness

Remus and Peter were totally not expecting bad-tasting berries when me and James handed it to them, totally innocent. We were all, "We tried these berries and they tasted okay so we brought them back. They're not poisonous because we're still alive." Remus looked like he believed us because he took a berry. Peter took a handful.

And the faces they made!

Remus looked like some mutated flubberworm and fire slug crossbreed. He twitched and made this awful expression. And gagged. Always a plus.

And Peter! He looked like a kneazle passing a kidney stone, complete with the grunting! He nearly did a flip, twitched, and barfed all the berries back up. Then he started whining, "Ew ew ew ew!"

James and I fell over laughing.

I guess they still don't forgive us because they're not talking to us. Aw, too bad. If they were talking to us, I would've found different berries for them to try. Ha ha.

DAY 4, Tree in Some Part of Wilderness

Around a fire. Remus almost pushed me into it, but restrained himself. He's still sore about the berry trick.

We're having "bonding time". According to Remus, it's important to be better friends and build trust in a survival situation, especially since James and I compromised that trust by feeding him and Peter foul-tasting berries. Whatever. They would've done the same thing if they knew about those berries.

Toasting marshmallows and more hot dogs. Delicious. Burnt all of my marshmallows and tried to give them to Peter, but he didn't want them. Then he smacked my arm. Jerk.