"...It's a boat..." Tatsuya felt as though he was about to vomit. Not because of seasickness, just from his absolute disgust at their situation.

"Well spotted, we've only been here for a day." Zabuza rolled his eyes, as usual he found himself being the only person willing to pay any attention to Tatsuya. "What were you expecting?"

"I don't know... not this... I hate boats."

"Why?"

"They don't have electricity... how will I plug in my straighteners?"

"Your hair will be fine, now quit your bitching."

"But... but... it'll go poofy."

"Not unlike yourself then." Zabuza muttered under his breath, they had been away for little more than a day, and already he felt like strangling Tatsuya to death.

"Well yes, I do enjoy having my appearance match my perfect personality but I personally feel – and I'm sure you'll all have the sense to agree with me, that having unstraightened hair would ruin the fabulous image I have going." Tatsuya smirked, and ran a hand through his forelocks, as if over the course of his rambling he had actually managed to convince himself he was a supermodel. "Not that I don't appreciate you trying to cheer me up, you're always so kind to me, Zabuza. I'm glad we're friends, have I ever told you that? Let's be friends forever!"

"You know Tatsuya..." Mangetsu spoke up from one of the dark corners of the tiny room – where he had continued to spend hours crying on Kyouki's shoulder, his voice monotonous and his head held in his hands. "your hair has been looking a bit lifeless recently, if you just switch to a better shampoo, it'll be fine in no time..."

"...HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PERFECT HAIR, I'LL KILL YOU!" After the realisation had actually set in, Tatsuya attempted to make a charge at Mangetsu. However, all it really took to hold him back was for Zabuza to hold on to the back of his shirt.

"Just shut up and calm down, Tatsuya." Kisame rolled his eyes, he could have sworn that over the course of this one day everyone had been much more annoying than they had been over the entirety of their time in the organisation.

"Ok Kisame...I love you..." Tatsuya did his best to try and give a sickly sweet smile to Kisame, who was in turn doing his best to try and avoid eye contact with the other man. Tatsuya's pathetic attempt at seduction was quickly brought to an end when he felt the excruciating pain of Kyouki kicking him full force in the shin. "OUCH, WHAT THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT FOR, THAT HURT YOU-"

"I was just getting the point across, you stay the hell away from Mangetsu."

Tatsuya's lower lip quivered slightly, for a few moments he had contemplated screaming the place down, disrupting everyone with his very loud voice whilst at the same time putting the woman in her place. However, by now he had done it so often that it had lost all effect, and in his warped sense of social interactions, the only thing left for him to do was wrap his arms around himself and collapse on the floor, "...Kisame... hold me."

"Ohh, so you're getting all defensive over your man, again?"

"Shut. Up. Zabuza."

"...but...you and Kisame...? You can't do... Wait a second," Tatsuya pulled himself to his feet, thumbing his lip as if he were deep in thought, "...if you marry Mangetsu then I can have Kisame all to myself, and we won't need to sneak around behind your back... this is perfect!"

"No one said anything about marriage... she just wanted to sleep with him."

"What? No! Kisame is mine now, no one else can have him. I am the only one allowed to touch hi-" Of course, after being subjected to listening to Tatsuya ramble on about his imaginary love life for god knows how many times, Raiga was becoming a bit fed up. And as such, he couldn't resist an opportunity to take being creepy and annoying to a whole new level. Yet it was still nothing short of completely horrifying for the others, who had to watch the sheer horror creep up on Kisame's – now extremely pale face, as he felt Raiga's arms snake around his waist. "RAIGA!"

Although, Kisame himself found it rather difficult to say anything in this situation. Frankly, the only thing he could do was pass out, which played right into Raiga's hands. "...See, he totally just fell into my arms, has he ever fallen into your arms? No, didn't think so, he clearly loves me more."

"No, he loves me the most! You've just creeped him out. Now get your hands off my Kisame. I thought we were friends, Raiga... how could yo-"

"Bored now." Raiga sighed, releasing his grip on Kisame and letting the shark-man fall to the floor. Much to the disgust of Tatsuya, who immediately rushed to his side, muttering various things about being a doctor.

"You know Raiga," Choujuurou said, pretty much startling everyone who up until this point had completely forgotten he had even come with them, "you really shouldn't upset Tatsuya like that, he-"

"SHUT UP CHOUJUUROU!" Tatsuya screamed, temporarily stopping himself from mummifying Kisame with bandages he had pulled out from god only knows where. "Why are you always picking on Raiga?"

"Yeah, you could really hurt his feelings..." Zabuza added in with a kind of mocking sympathy. Choujuurou then looked to Kyouki, as if – for some unknown reason, he thought that she would act like the voice of reason.

"You're just a bad person." She shrugged.

Probably the only thing which kept everyone from making an attempt at driving Choujuurou to suicide that very moment was the creaking open of the door. If it was anyone else's parents, they would probably have had much more to say about seeing their child unconscious on the floor. However, Erosame was a bit different from the average parent and so the others couldn't tell whether they were relieved or disturbed when the only thing he had to say was, "Too much excitement for one day, eh?"

"You guys, I have an important announcement to make," Mangetsu stood up, as if he had been summoned by Erosame saying eh, "whilst I was over there... crying my heart out I was, thinking about my life and trying to... I don't know what I was trying to do, but I discovered something enlightening."

"That you're in love with your best friend?" Zabuza asked, receiving nothing but a blank stare from Mangetsu in response, "Kyouki. That woman. Over there. The one who's glaring at me."

"...no, it was tha-"

"You're gay?"

Raiga let out a small smirk, "I wouldn't get your hopes up Zabuza, even if he was you wouldn't be his type."

"That's not what I meant, Gary Glitter. Besides who the hell else would he like? I'm way better looking than you."

"Oh please, you're terrifying. Your only redeemable features are the bandages which obscure your hideously unattractive face."

"I'm terrifying? I'm terrifying? At least my face doesn't look like a baboon's ass!"

"Well at least my hair doesn't look like it's been cut with hedge clippers. You-"

What Zabuza and Raiga hadn't realised whilst verbally assaulting each other, was that irrespective of whether they were paying attention to him or not, Mangetsu was going to carry on with his story. Thus, when Kyouki's yell of "KISAME YOU FATASS!" came, they found themselves being more than just a little confused.

"He's not fat! He's just very muscley!" Tatsuya muttered to himself, although now that Kisame had regained consciousness he was rather hoping that he would overhear... and then fall madly in love with him.

"No... no I'm fat..." Kisame said as he attempted to sit up, not even bothering to question why he was now completely wrapped in bandages, "honestly Tatsuya, you probably wouldn't want to be with a fatty like me... I will completely understand if you stop stalking me because of it."

"Oh Kisame, I'm not in love with you because of your looks... it's your wonderful personality that made me fall for you."

Kisame spent some time weighing up in his head which was worse – being on the receiving end of Tatsuya's affection or Kyouki's rage, and even if there were times when he found both to be absolutely unbearable, he still felt like a complete idiot for not working out the lesser of two evils sooner. "...So you were yelling at me?"

"How dare you treat Mangetsu like shit just because he doesn't love you back! You shouldn't act like such a tit towards the one you love!"

"He doesn't love Mangetsu... he loves me! Isn't that right Kisame? Tell them how much you love me...please."

"Look, all of you," Kisame attempted to think of a good enough way to get himself out of this situation, although the only excuse he could give made it sound as though he was trying to convince himself more so than anyone else. "I don't like men...or women... I like sharks."

"...so you're a furry?" Kyouki asked, narrowing her eyes in disgust. Which upon actually looking around, Kisame realised was the same reaction everyone else was having.

"No, no it... it doesn't count, I'm part shark!"

"It still counts!" Zabuza practically screamed at him, he had to admit that when someone else's sexuality came into question "Kisame's a furry~ Kisame's a furry~"

Amidst all the singing and disgust, all that Erosame could do was let out a heavy sigh, "I hope you all realise that we have deviated ridiculously from the plot. Yes, Kisame I am very proud that you have finally started taking an interest in sex, I would have prefered it if you had started with women... maybe even just people in general... but anyway, we've arrived at Canada."