A/N: Why, hello readers. :)
First off, kudos for those of you that have made it this far. It's an accomplishment now consider it as much. ^.^
I did plan for there to be epilogue(s) to this story but I don't know if it would be better to post them both here and on LJ or just on LJ. Honestly I feel bad enough when I think of all the readers still holding a candle for me to return to ffdotnet and letting me know so! Darlings, you remind me why I keep writing and every day the leap back becomes shorter and less unimaginable. I'm posting the rest of this story aren't I? XD
This was the longest chapter to date. 36 pages filled with nothing but Hari-Aisu-Stubborness, which is worth a lot. :D And if you're expecting a boat-load of angst then you just haven't been paying attention to what this story is really all about. Really. REALLY.
Love ya babes. ;)
Warnings: Discussion of adult concepts, lime-ish yaoi of the yum-tastic kind, shounen-ai (boy-love), warm fuzzies/some type of fluff that I honestly didn't know existed in my writing world (sort of lol), a tiny bit of angst and issues dealing with addiction and withdrawal. I know, WHAT A HARDCORE CHAPTER! -.-;
Disclaimer: I don't own "Teeth" by Lady Gaga, "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga or any part of "The Fame Monster" album which, obviously, belongs to Lady Gaga. Death Note belongs to its respective writers/artists and I am just burrowing their characters to give them the mind-fuck of their love-lives. Obviously no money is being made off of this lovelies :-[ but don't I wish! Lol
"Got no salvation-
(No salvation)
(Got no salvation…)
Got no religion-
(No religion)
(My religion is you.)
Take a bite of my bad girl meat!
(Bad girl meat)
(Take a bite of me boy…)
Show me your teeth!
(I'm a tough bitch.)
Got my addictions
(My addictions)
And I love to fix 'em!
(And I love to fix 'em)
(No one's perfect)
Take a bite of my bad girl meat…
(Bad girl meat)
(No one's perfect)
Show me your teeth!
(I just need a little guidance…)
Tell me something that'll save me,
I need a man to make me alright!
(Man to make me alright)
(Just tell me when it's alright)
Tell me something that'll change me,
I'm gonna love you with my hands tied-
Show me your teeth-
(Just tell me when)
Show me your teeth-
(Open your mouth boy)
Show me your teeth-
(Show me whatcha got)
Show me your teeth, teeth, teeth, teeth!"
-"Teeth" by Lady Gaga
Title: Teeth
-Before Trauma-
"Dad? What are you doing?"
Soichirou blinked as he glanced up from the miniature piles of paperwork stacked neatly on his lap and desk, glasses hitched over the angular point of his nose. Golden-brown eyes identical to the officer's own narrowed in brusque judgment.
"Mom said you couldn't bring any work to the house this weekend." Light snapped head tilted back in a childish fit of defiance. "You're supposed to be spending it with your family."
A light sigh of resignation was Soichirou's only response as he pulled out a large manila folder from his suitcase and crushed straggling papers into its large mouth. Glinting glasses reflected Light's despondent face curdled with frustration, wrinkled displeasure highlighted by the youthfulness of the child's features blatantly ignored by the only adult within the room.
"Forget it! I… I'll just go tell mom you're not feeling well. Keep reading your stupid files if it makes you happy!"
"Light!" The older man called out, lifting himself off the chair as stray obsidian curls of hair fell over the older man's eyes.
Light stomped out of the spacious study, curled fists planted by his sides in resignation without another word.
'Why even try if you don't even want to be here…?'
"Light?" Tiny fingers grasped at Light's own small hand as he rushed down the hallway and attempted to make his way into his room. "Light, where's daddy?"
"He's busy Sayu, talk to him later."
Chubby cheeks puffed out resolutely. "But mama says his job is callin' him!"
"… … Study." Light murmured.
"'Kay!"
The door was shut with a gentle patience that belied the violent maelstrom of anger boiling within the 8-year-old's chest.
Part I
"You look tired." Sachiko absently commented as her son entered her room, her tiny figure drenched in sky blues and pure white. "Were you up all night because of work again?"
After getting the approval from his mother that yes, he was physically (and mentally) able to get back to work, Light had spoken to his boss and managed to procure his spot back in the retail circle, the new semester quickly approaching with only a certain amount of money in his bank account for the necessities necessary to exist while studying.
But with work came the abhorrence of late night hours, especially when you worked in a department store and the holidays were in full swing.
"Yeah… but I'll sleep when I get home. How do you feel?"
"Ecstatic. I will probably be discharged this coming week." The dark-haired mother grinned though the expression darkened as the doctor's previous words from earlier that morning slithered into mind. "But the doctor says that I shouldn't begin work until I'm finished with my physical therapy for my left leg and back and that could take up to six months, maybe even more."
"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it." Light quietly reassured. "Just concentrate on feeling better and I'll take care of the rest."
"Like always?" Sachiko muttered bitterly under her breath.
Tan skin rippled as Light sat next to his close-to-slumbering mother and nodded, not the least bit reticent in doing so.
"Like forever if need be…"
A large bottle filled halfway with a smooth golden brown liquid he knew to burn stared back at charcoal gray eyes, the contest winner long decided before the game had even begun.
L, who looked barely fazed as he blinked, shrugged his shoulders and grabbed the bottle, unscrewing the cap with a nonchalance that was tempered only slightly by trembling hands. The auburn-colored drink was swiftly poured down the drain, not even a wince or grumble escaping those thin chapped lips.
It was only as the empty bottle hit the counter did L fully realize just what it was he had just done, eyes widening even further than normal and mouth circling into a small 'o'.
Not even an hour later another bottle of golden brown liquid sat still on top of the table, L's hands folded neatly on his lips as he, instead of staring at the bottle, concentrated solely on the glass cup now sitting next to it.
"Ouch!"
"Mom! Stay there!" Sayu held up both of her hands in a caution motion, dropping the suitcases that had been gripped between thin fingers. "Light and I have got this!"
The only male of the group nodded solemnly as he opened the door and pushed both the luggage and his sister inside, lanky strides rushing towards the older woman waiting impatiently by the staircase they had just made their way up.
Sachiko smiled her thanks as she furrowed her way into Light's half-embrace and carefully hobbled into their apartment.
"So…" The crop-haired woman started as she made it over the threshold, legs quivering a small bit with each step they took. "Have you found a place yet that suits your needs?"
Light's mouth thinned as he shook his head.
"Is there any way I can help son?"
Another silent, if resolute, shake of the head.
Sachiko frowned, nodding her thanks as the now-taciturn brunet sat her on the couch as if she were made of glass and slipped off her shoes, laying her legs over the well worn cushions to give her room to relax.
"Have you heard from L then?" Sachiko gently prodded, knowing partly just what was on her son's mind.
A twitching lip about to stretch into a grimace shadowed over Light's face before a blank slate took over once more. The silence became heavy with misinterpreted intentions; it was obvious that Light wanted to forget the man existed (for right now anyway) and his mother was adamant about the both of them staying together, ruthless in reminding Light just what it was he was giving up in ignoring the older detective.
Almost four years…
There was just too much between them to contemplate right at this moment, not with his almost bed-ridden mother staring up at him with doleful eyes filled with hope and broken shards of love that Light still couldn't find it within himself to truly accept and his own insecurities biting at him one by one by one.
Their relationship was the last thing the 22-year-old man wanted to think about. It was just too painful to be forced into thought and this kind of pain was not something he was especially equipped to protect himself from.
"He… he called while you were at the hospital but I wasn't in any state to talk to him then." Light softly admitted, face obscured by reddish-brown locks as the suitcases were next to be put away in their proper locations. "He hasn't tried to contact me since then.
"Have you thought about calling him then?"
Brushing back shiny strands of auburn hair with scarred fingers, Light scoffed "Not anytime soon."
"Hmm…" The wise mother hummed, smiling brightly at her oldest child as he made his way up the stairs behind her, bags in both hands.
Though Light did not realize it, he had still left communication open in the future.
Because regardless of how much Light may have grimaced, scowled and growled, he had never actually said 'no'.
"Are you sure about this?" Mihael whispered.
"Yes."
"… You're really sure?"
"Yes."
"It'd be better if Light were here." Mail muttered. "He'd know what the hell to say."
"But he's not. And he shouldn't have to be." L sighed. Pale hands handed the large bottle over to his blond friend, eyes squinting in hesitance. "I'm giving this to you in hopes that maybe I won't be tempted to get more myself. I refuse to do this anymore."
"Ok… but what's to stop you from getting more juicy-juice?" Mail scratched his head. "Besides you've never had to deny yourself anything before L and I don't want to see what you're going to be like when you actually do. I don't think this is such a good is-OW!"
Mihael grinned as he lifted his foot from the redhead's now-flattened foot, one hand on the bottle just given to him and the other giving a rather awkward looking thumbs-up.
"This is good for you L. This is exactly what you need to do." The leather-clad blond cajoled.
Mail sighed, rubbing his foot with a half-hearted pout on his lips. Though he obviously did not approve of the method he agreed with his lover; L needed to get sober and pronto.
There was just little doubt in the younger man's head that tonight would end with L in either a bar or liquor store replenishing the supply he had just given away, drinking away whatever resolve he had left.
But he wouldn't burst either Mihael or L's bubble. They would just ignore the common sense he had to offer and continue to flitter away in their stubbornness.
No…
He'd let L do it all himself.
The man needed to be brought down a peg or two really…
Not even three hours later L found himself at the local bar, three drinks in and not quite sure how.
"Hey Light! You got a message from L!" Sayu chirped out as she held up his cell-phone, not surprised to see her brother roll his eyes in exasperation and motion the phone away with his hand.
"Don't care." Light muttered, the computer screen in front of him filled with numbers, numbers and even more telephone numbers. "Busy."
"But…" A forlorn frown accompanied a crinkled brow, dark brown eyes filled with misery. "I haven't seen him in forever. Can't you just listen to it and see what he wants?"
"Sayu…"
"You weren't the only one to get close Light." Sayu whispered. Pushing the phone to Light's ear, the high-school student didn't even flinch at the distorted snarl thrust her way. "Just… listen. Please?"
Snatching the phone out of the teen's hand and into his own, Light pushed 1 on his speed-dial and listened through his voicemail's introduction, his insides squirming even as his outward appearance was nothing but a picture perfect vision of apathy.
"You have one message; first message sent today at 3:45 p.m.-"
"Hello Light. I know you may not wish to speak with me at the moment but I have been severely worried since you left home last month. If Light could please simply call to let me know he is alright it would be much appreciated."
Light grit his teeth, knowing L had purposely spoken in third person to incite his softer side; a side only L and his family knew.
"I know… I know you know what happened and I'm sure me trying to convince you that I'm fixing it will not mean much but I am truly sorry and I will do what I can so that it may not happen again. Trust lost is not easily gained back but if you are willing I will fight for it just as I fought for you."
Biting the side of his cheek, Light wondered just what it was L was trying to fix. His non-existent infidelity? That was not something that could be fixed, and besides that they had not even been together at the time.
'He doesn't mean… his drinking?'
Light couldn't believe it if it was the truth.
"Tell Sayu and mother that I miss them as well please. I honestly don't know how I am lasting without all of you to remind me that I have… had a family. I abused it, Light, and it's only now that I realize that fact. But enough of my blathering. I think I have spoken more now than ever. If you deign it so please call me or see me. I would simply like some peace of mind."
"Light?"
A gaping mouth and bugged out stare certainly wasn't what Sayu was expecting as the phone dropped from her brother's ear and landed right on his lap. Tanned scarred fingers pulled at dark amber bangs, eyes downward and full of befuddlement.
"End of message. To repeat this message please press one, to save it in the archives press nine-"
Sayu shut the phone, tossing it on the table with a careless toss that belied the worry lines around her mouth. Shaking her brother's arm in an attempt to shake him out of his stupor, Sayu shrieked as she was pushed back and the phone was caught within Light's tight grip once more.
Five times Light listened to that message and the strange confusion slowly melted into a worriment that had even the younger girl gasping with worry, glad that she had pushed her brother to listen to what might've been a neglected cry for help.
L knew the signs of detox.
The pain.
The confusion.
The rage.
The sickness.
Staring down at the report with double vision really wasn't such a great idea…
"L?"
The distorted investigator blinked as he glanced over at the door through glassy eyes, a mop of silvery-white hair spun in recognizable curls and eyes darker than his own sleepily stared at the man he called a mentor. "Are you alright?"
"Fine…" Luckily the word had not been slurred or L was sure he would have been mobbed and pushed home faster than he could believe. "Just a bit tired…"
"Just let us know if you are feeling too sick to work." Nate, ever the perspective if not entirely socially-competent one, made his way out of the office after that, not one to play babysitter like Mail and Mihael were.
Staring at the door for a mite second more than what was considered appropriate, L attempted to decipher the mess of letters and numbers scribbled in front of him. Normally they were clustered together in a neat array that belied the sloppy detective's demeanor but no amount of legible handwriting was going to make it through L's nausea and migraine.
"Could we fix you if you broke?"
L's eye twitched as he stared down at his cell-phone, wondering when Mihael would have time to tamper with it when usually he was so careful-
"And is your punch-line just a joke?"
When he wasn't detoxing off dangerous substances that completely decimated one's liver and brain.
"I'll never talk again… oh boy, you've left me speechless. You've left me speechless, so speechle-"
"This is L." The man whispered into the receiver after snapping it open, earpiece not even touching his appendage as milky-white fingers dangled the phone next to his ear.
"I gathered that from the number I dialed."
The slumped back straightened with a crack, office chair nearly whirling as L dropped down from it and stood up, the room spinning violently thereafter.
"Light I… don't feel so well." L slurred, burn of vomit stinging his throat as his eyesight dimmed at the edges before they blacked out altogether, L's body hitting the ground just as his consciousness flew away with it.
Light's voice carried over from the phone scattered on the cement floor, the sound echoing for a split second until the light of the cell-phone brightened for a split-second only to dim once again-
CALL ENDED AT 12:53 P.M.
-Mid-Trauma-
The plot was very deep.
That had been Sayu's first words once they had reached the space their mother had chosen to bury their father within, large dark eyes scarred but still so very impressionable for a four-year-old.
Light himself could only agree.
His dark suit was complimented on by all of the women and the men had patted his shoulder with sympathy; one had even dared to reach to ruffle his hair in the same manner his own father used to but had stifled the urge at the murderous expression the small child had lit their way once their hand's destination became clear.
No one would touch his hair like that.
Not the way his father used to.
Not ever again.
A group of faceless women circled the grieving widow and sobbing toddler as the coffin was finally brought over, the hearse's sleek and black doors parting like the gates of Hell, only Cerberus was not who awaited the spirit's entry but Light instead.
Spindly hands grasped the wide-eyed brunet by the shoulders and pulled him away from the plot as the men settled the coffin over the machine set in front of the marker, ready to lower the casket into its proper space.
Head tilted back, Light's dim amber eyes met bright blue.
"In times of grief and loss, moving forward does not necessarily mean letting go of what has been left behind."
The priest gave the tiny boy a timid smile and a pat on the head, eyes reflecting the bountiful sky above them. Grateful that no heavenly spiels ripened with abolished sins and cacophonies of misplaced blessings bloomed forward, Light returned his eyes to the lowered casket and held back his own despair.
In the face of misery apathy was his only shield and he would use it well in the coming years.
Part II
"-ear me, L?"
A strangled gurgle filtered the air, Mail's voice identifiable through the foggy blur of sound clogging the incapacitated man ears.
Tan fingers poked and prodded L's face, the feeling smothered by the numbness within his limbs which unsettled him yet could not truly incite him to move away.
"Shit, he… out li… a light!"
'Light…?'
"… balance?"
Worried blue eyes wavered in and out of focus, blurred by movement and what had to be vertigo. L's head spun unbearable as his body was moved upward, hands shaking even more violently than before.
Why did the ground seem so much closer than before?
"Get him out of here!"
Closing his eyes in an attempt to block out the headache-inducing light, L didn't even hesitate to lose himself into the comforting darkness. Panicked voices transformed into white noise which blessedly fell into instant quiet.
And then, there was nothing.
Those were his curtains.
Dim gray eyes blearily made out the atypical pattern of the tapestry, surprised that he wasn't surrounded by blinding white walls and annoying machines.
Luckily his migraine was gone but the nausea that had been plaguing the 30-year-old for the last two weeks was still (unfortunately) present.
Two fingers thumped his temples, the pale wrist in front of his eyes mocking him with the dark infinity sign plastered against it. L smirked as he was reminded of the recent acquisition of body art, the whim having been nonsensical and given into in a fit of loneliness and too much inward contemplation.
Clack
Turning his head to the side, L felt his ears prick almost instantly.
Clack
So attuned to the silence his apartment had manifested after Light's last departure, the sound of noise actually hurt.
Click click clack
Though his pair of legs felt like jelly and the feeling of numbness that accompanied the sleepy limbs began to prick with pins and needles, L managed to make it out of his bed and to the source of the odd noises soundlessly.
Past the bedroom and through the empty living room, blaring white lights spilled from the kitchen, the sounds becoming louder the closer L became to the source. Trying to keep his exposure and panic wrapped behind his usual apathy was harder than usual but not as difficult as the ill-begotten investigator expected it to be.
Though that illusion was shattered seconds later as a long thin form covered in skin-tight clothes stood in front of his sink taking care of the mountain of dishes left in L's wake, shiny crimson-tinted hair hanging a bit longer over broad shoulders as uncovered forearms scattered with old scars moved with the intent of cleaning, drying and putting away.
Mouth dropped open and eyes wide with shock, L couldn't hide the shock even if he tried.
"You…? You're really here?" The older of the two breathed out, causing the young student to spin around, hands still soaked and covered with soap. "Li… Light?"
"Were you expecting somebody else?" The familiar reproach was so unexpected it almost felt as if the last month hadn't happened at all. "What the hell else was I supposed to do when you, from what I was told, blacked out while talking to me and then got a screaming Mihael on my case not even five minutes after the fact?"
L felt his jaw become unhinged, quite sure that if it wasn't attached to his skull that it would have met the floor at this point.
"Get back into bed, L." Light rolled his eyes. "The doctor should be here any minute."
"Malnutrition along with dehydration… do you know if he suffers from insomnia?"
Light stared down at the body on the bed, silent and unaware.
"Sir?"
"Yeah." Tawny hands curled through raven-colored knots. "He does."
"Here's my recommendation; if he truly is detoxing he is going to need a program to go with his attempt at sobriety." The doctor stated plain as day. "Physically his body and mind are going to do whatever possible to get that substance back into his body since at this point it feels as if it cannot function without it."
Light opened his mouth to say something but the doctor quickly beat him to it, obviously not done with his tirade.
"Trying to quit without some sort of inpatient OR outpatient program almost always leads back to addiction. I can prescribe him something to help settle his stomach and any over the counter pain medication should help a bit with the headaches but the addict in him is what's dangerous here not the physical ailments." Keeping his eyes directly on the hand still wrapped within L's quirky hair, Light nodded in understanding, not wishing to make the doctor believe that he was not taking this as seriously as he was. Make sure to keep pumping him full of liquids and try to get him to rest as much as possible. Insomnia plus ailments plus detoxification always lead to disaster."
"Are you the only one looking after him?"
Light hesitated for a moment.
"Sir?"
"Y… yeah." Inwardly, he was cursing himself. "Yes sir."
"Tell him what I told you and get this guy into rehab. I don't think you understand just how serious this is going to get-"
'I do…'
"Without the proper treatment-"
'Been there, done that…'
"And if he has been drinking for as long as I think he has then it's only going to be worse for his body and mind-"
'Why do I keep doing this to myself?'
"And God knows just what an addict is capable of doing to themselves and everyone around them just to get their next fix." At Light's impatient stare the slim doctor stiffened, offended at being so obviously dismissed. "Here's the prescriptions, monitor his usage of them and keep your eyes on him at all times. Other than that, good luck."
Wiping a cool wash cloth over L's head Light proceeded to inwardly kick himself repeatedly as the doctor made his way out the door.
Leaving Light alone with only his thoughts and an incapacitated twitching detective over his lap.
'Here we go again…'
The usually brightly lit living room echoed with shadows, the shades drawn down and all signs of light diminished completely.
Well, all except one.
Head buried within his hands and legs shaking with unease, Light honestly had no idea what he was doing nor why.
It wasn't his civic duty to be here, that was what common sense was screeching at him at the moment. One phone call and he could leave and no one would be the wiser. Mihael would have to suck it up and Mail would not say a word-
Just onephone call really.
Just one.
One that he knew he wouldn't really make.
"I must be out of my mind."
The words were creaky and old, dusty with familiar aches and pains but tinged with a new resilience that painted their speaker in a… whole new Light.
Light spent the rest of the night ruminating his fate, wondering why he wasn't as resentful (or regretful) as he thought he would be.
"I missed you." The words were garbled and barely coherent.
Light bit his lower lip as L stared at him, eyes obscenely large with sleep deprivation.
"L, that's the mental instability talking." The near-exhausted brunet murmured. "You just miss having a body in your bed and somebody to take your frustrations out on."
A moment of silence.
"… … did you even believe yourself just now?"
Bronzed fingers pulled against midnight-black snags of hair. A light sigh. More tossing and turning.
Nothing seemed right.
"No." The criminal-justice major whispered, voice aged far more than his 21 years of age afforded him with. "Not one bit."
"Is Light still angry with me then?" Childlike words tinkled with insecurity, L's own instability was crippling to even look at; this wasn't the man he fell in lo-
Light bit his tongue.
Those were thoughts he couldn't decode yet.
"Go back to sleep L."
Magically, the older of the two didn't even put up a fight, closing his eyes as sleep's laden arms wrapped him in their cold cocoon. The congested rumbling of breath was the only indication that bedroom was being occupied at all.
"Mmph." L gurgled as he turned his head, smothering his face within Light's lap. The college student rolled his eyes as he swept his gaze over the hundreds of words piled upon the pages of his text back, wondering why he chose such a taxing time to do his assignments.
"Stop moving around." The younger of the two commanded, the soft lilting voice warbling the demand and turning it into something much softer. "Can't concentrate when all I feel is you trying to blow raspberries on my stomach and tickling my thighs."
"Light can do his homework later," was the smooth reply "I demand attention now."
"I didn't realize you were the center of the universe, L."
L didn't even bother to comment, his response already expected and received. L, however, did not expect the accompanying fidget as Light turned the page, fingers twining around aged paper shiny from lamination.
"I have an appointment tomorrow." Fluttered eyelashes pulled upward in a coy fashion, bright brown eyes targeting the clingy detective with a warning stare. "I wanted to know if… you wanted to come home. I don't like the idea of you staying here by yourself when you're like this."
The grin that lit up the laconic man's face didn't seem to accommodate against his features as well as it should have but was just as blinding as it used to be. The years had been kind on L's eternally youthful visage but the past year's onslaught of problems had not. His age was finally showing and Light, who had at one point laughed at the thought of staying with a man so much older than himself, became endeared by the tiny laugh lines around L's mouth and faint crow's feet edging at the barest part of L's wide charcoal-colored eyes.
"Home?"
"Yeah," Light agreed absently "home."
After a near boisterous Sayu barreling him with all the "sisterly" love he could ask for and a quiet Sachiko staring at him with motherly glee, L felt drained already and he hadn't even been there for a half-an-hour.
Sayu, who had been appalled that Light had not informed him of their mother's accident and condition (secretly L had held his own tirade, promising a load of mental mind-fuckery on his part when he saw Light again after his cute little "appointment") proceeded to give him the whole story, filled with theatrics and wild hand gestures.
Sachiko's ever-exasperated sighs told L which parts were fabricated and which were clearly spot on, or in Sayu's case, as spot on as they could be.
"Sayu," the eldest in the room smiled as the youngest practically spun around in her seat and gave her mother her full-fledged attention. "Would you mind giving L and I a moment. I have something I wish to discuss with him without prying ears and eyes."
"But-"
"Now."
Without even an 'eep!' Sayu leapt to her feet and made it to her room in record time, knowing that when her mother used that voice that there was no arguing with her whether she was physically incapacitated or not.
"How are you dear?"
Sachiko's voice softened back to its original lilt, reminding L that though this woman was a caring mother she had also raised the rough-and-end individual that was Light Yagami. She would not tolerate lies and could smell deceit a mile away, if only because she had taught herself to do so. Rough around the edges after years of a raising a former gang member and trying to keep her daughter safely unknowing of that fact, Sachiko Yagami though not inherently tough had taught herself to be so, and that was worse than being born so.
L shoved his hands in his pockets, feeling absurdly naked in front of the ginger-colored gaze so similar to his ex-lover's.
The mother that L never got to have growing up was here, waiting for him to come apart when she was the one in pain (in more ways than one) and even though she was not perfect, she was still willing to be his.
"Ashamed."
"Come here son."
Holding off the scoff, L made it to the couch without hesitation and allowed her to pull him into her arms.
As much as he wished he could scorn the day Light came into his life he knew he couldn't.
How could L hate him when unknowingly Light had given him everything he had ever wanted?
"C'mon in Mr. Yagami!"
Light felt the corners of his mouth twitch as he entered the plush office, multiple chairs aligned along the room so as to promote as many options (and to most likely examine personalities based just on seating arrangements alone) as possible for comfort.
Discarding his usually arrogant gait Light carefully stepped into the room as if it were full of land mines; for once not moving in to manipulate and disregard but actually willing to say what he needed to say without any platitudes attached to those thoughts.
The pale-eyed man in front of him didn't even bat a lash as Light chose the chair directly in front of him (same as always) and stared right back into his gaze, direct and unflinching.
"Good afternoon. How can I help you today Light?"
"I have been coming here for awhile now and I just… I think something's happened but I can't figure out what."
"Light?"
"I just think that something's wrong with me." The psychiatrist smooth hands picked up their pen and immediately began to write as Light leaned back against the chair and closed his eyes.
"Why do you think that?"
"I…" Hands clenching plush leather, the doctor nodded in encouragement. "I just do."
"This wouldn't have to do with your ex-boyfriend would it Light?"
Light's left cheek twitched, body sliding forward and mouth opening in explanation. "I've been… doing things with him I shouldn't but not regretting them… it doesn't hurt to look at him anymore and I don't know why."
'He makes me want to be a better man.'
L's face did not leave his mind's eye for the rest of his hour long session.
"Don't you three look cozy?" Light affectionately mocked. Three bodies sat comfortably against the couch's cozy pillows, staring at Light with varying looks of welcome. "Hate to break it up but I think it's time to go, L."
"May I… may I stay here a bit longer?"
Light smiled behind his hand, coat strung against the rack faster than either man believed as L's voice rumbled behind him.
"Move over!"
Sayu shrieked as Light plopped right on her lap, shoving him towards L who immediately wrapped his arms around the younger man's hips and kept him in position.
Light's lips caught L's earlobe in a teasing bite, playful in good nature. "You can stay here as long as you want."
The goofy smirk did not leave L's face for the rest of the night.
"Hello… my name is L and I'`m an alcoholic."
Those kinds of words just didn't seem to string together as well as they should have.
"I don't do AA." L snapped.
"And I don't do anybody who is fucked up and doesn't want to admit it. What a pity."
"I freely admit I am not the most balanced of people. Now come here and put out Light."
"Like that is going to happen." Light muttered unhappily, the new book strewn on the table seeming to be far most interesting than L's useless tirades. "You know you're about two seconds from going out and getting stinking drunk. Why not just go out and do that if you're not even working on bettering yourself?"
"… … I never thought I'd be getting this conversation from you of all people."
"I might be emotionally retarded but at least I have the proper backing to fix that. You don't even want to admit that you're an alcoholic whereas I am already seeing a doctor from my mountain of fucked-up-ness and trying to fix it."
"Touché."
Light smirked. "Thank you."
"On the other hand I have gone threeand a half weeks without drinking…"
"While I've been watching you like a hawk," Light meandered.
"And I think that deserves some kind of reward…" L continued as if Light's interruption hadn't occurred.
The fingers that had been running across the lines of the pages halted.
"Just what do you think we are?"
L blinked.
"Are we even together… I don't understand this at all. I don't…"
Light stood up and walked into the bathroom, door shutting with an abrupt snap.
L on the other hand stayed where he was, now utterly, utterly confused.
L cleared his throat as he felt a long fit body mold itself against his back, pointed chin tucked against the nape of his neck.
Instead of pulling away, he snuggled closer.
This was as close to an apology as Light would ever get and even though he didn't exactly get what Light was apologizing for or what the spontaneous freak out from earlier came from, things were a lot better now.
L would be damned if he missed an opportunity to hold onto something real for once.
"You, Mr. Yagami, are not that difficult to figure out."
Light's jaw tightened closed, eyes narrowed and dangerous.
"You keep people away from you by deluding yourself that you are the problem. Commitment terrifies you because your own father couldn't keep his own, not with his family and most especially with you. Having to rely on someone, anyone, is beyond your control and that's the issue isn't it? Control."
"You hide behind your well placed smile and speak pretty words to throw people off your scent. You hate to admit that your human, even when your scars are on display for everyone to see, but each time you survive you boost yourself as if you're more. Better than others because you've survived and continue looking for more. Pain is your drug."
"What are you trying to say" Close to standing up and walking out, Light held on. He needed to hear this, a voice pleaded with him. He needed to take these words to heart. He needed to not be oblivious for once! "That I like to get hurt?"
"You, Mr. Yagami, are a masochist in the purest form. You thrive off pain, both mental and physical but thread away from it emotionally. At least, from other people; you torment yourself emotionally enough as it is." The doctor in front of him didn't even blink as he said all this, the neutral expression far more useful than even Light could have anticipated. "That is why any relationship you enter will fail. The thought of someone else toying, even unintentionally, with your emotions terrifies you so much that you become a virtual wreck before the actual train wreck happens. You pick your partner apart; pluck out every problem until leaving seems like the safest option."
"Bullshit."
"How many relationships have you had in your lifetime Light? Not counting one night stands."
L stood out foremost in his mind.
The doctor's spectacles fell over the bridge of his nose in just the slightest of motions, hazel eyes growing darker at the image.
"What am I supposed to say? I'm-"
"Dangerous? Or just frightened?"
Light's mouth clicked shut after that comment, eyes taking a faraway gleam to them.
Knowing his point had landed a little too close to home for Light, Dr. Kurosaki ended the session abruptly. Though his patient was frustrating to the point of hair-pulling, he was also extremely sensitive and naïve to the point of ridiculous underneath all that built up hardness.
After this session, he knew he would have to proceed speaking with Light Yagami with extreme caution.
Light, on the other hand, wasn't even there anymore.
It seemed he had more to think about than he originally thought he did.
-Post Trauma-
Light coughed violently, small droplets of blood splattering beautifully against the milk-colored sidewalk alongside the muddy handprints left behind by his left hand.
Hand clutched to his side, the 14-year-old high-school student stumbled fretfully through the alleyways, vision clouding with pain and oncoming shock.
It was the first time he had ever been jumped by himself. Hell, it was usually him doing the jumping; the fact that somebody had gotten the start on him, that somebody had taken the time to target him and was successful…
This would not go unpunished. Not by a long shot.
Already putting the numbers together in his head and the list of suspects into order, Light stumbled onto his stoop, blood still dripping down his side in variable globs even as his hand shakily applied more pressure to his wound.
The blade had been a lucky strike but Light couldn't afford to let anymore "lucky strikes" pass through his defenses. His mother already suspected enough as it was, he didn't need her to see him like this…
Sitting on the highest stair of his apartment complex, Light sighed in relief as no doors opened or random neighbors appeared at the wrong time.
Though it was three o'clock in the morning so what did he expect?
Leaning his head on the pillar of the large staircase, Light closed his eyes.
Sleep came slowly, like the blood still dripping through his fingers and holes of his clothes and numbing cold settling on the fringes of his unconscious mind.
Part III
"You never answered me earlier. Where were you when I got home?" Light nonchalantly questioned as his body dipped lower into the cushions of the couch, the movie playing in front of him ignored in favor of just-returned company.
L sighed as he rubbed his temples, the words in front of him blurry.
Another migraine had come.
And of course Light picked just right now to have this conversation.
Where the hell was the Excedrin when he needed it?
"I didn't realize I had to." L snapped. The pen in his hands trembled within his perilous grip, raggedly scrapping lines all over his case-notes.
"It was just a simple question. I didn't realize that I would be bothering his majesty by asking!"
"Well, you aren't my guardian nor are you my keeper. Hell, you're barely my friend. I don't have to explain anything to you. Now let me do my damn work in peace."
Light peered over his shoulder, L sitting rigidly within the wooden chair scraped dangerously close to the dining room table, fingers ticking at all the wrong times and mouth trembling at just the right instances.
Inside, he was raging.
Outwardly, Light showed no emotion at all.
L turned to the next page of his notes.
Light turned his head back to the television.
They both passed the night without another word, endless conversations passing without a single sound being uttered.
"Have you thought about what facility you want to start your sessions at?" Light yelled out from behind his laptop, wincing once he hit a snag on his paper.
"I don't think I need it."
"And I don't think I need to be staying here but here I am… still here." Light smirked as he got back on his train of thought. "Seems you'll have to join the "I don't wanna but I have ta'" club once you start your sessions and suck it up like the other big boys that live in this hell-hole."
"Are you even giving me a choice?"
"Is that seriously even a question?"
"Can't you be a bit more ambiguous about it at least?"
"Would you rather the truth or a lie?"
"And here I thought you were the nice one."
Light gave L the blandest stare he could possibly muster.
"Nice… er?"
"You're getting warmer at least."
"Better hot than cold."
"Tell me about it."
"I've never seen him this worked up about something before." L quietly admitted behind his cup of sweetened tea, fingers quivering against the colored porcelain. "Light is quite adamant that I see some type of counsel if I wish to continue my sobriety. I don't see why, I've gone a good two months without a drink, I am absolutely positive I can continue to go longer without one as well."
"L, you are a detective correct?"
The dark-haired young man hesitantly nodded at the older woman sitting in front of him, short strands of graying black pushed back whilst the ever-present mothering smile disappeared from his companions aging lips.
"You, a man who works with research and has seen what addiction in any form can do to people who have at one time seen themselves in the 'highest moral standing' question how this can affect you? You? A man who has seen the worst of the worst and still manages to keep his wits about him except when it comes to alcohol?"
The tea cup met the small table with a loud clack, coaster vibrating from impact.
"If you pardon my saying so, I am not that weak."
"Then why are your hands still shaking L?"
The ever-present motion of trembling digits and palms took the younger man off guard, not having noticed the restless appendages till now. Light would always stare at his hands out of the corner of his eyes while in his company but L always made sure he had something to occupy his time so as to not have to question why that surly gaze was upon him again and again and again.
Obviously Sachiko was not above simply pointing it out, pushing forward where her son would only ceaselessly stall.
"It is not a weakness to be fluent in one's flaws," Sachiko whispered against the rim of her teacup, "but to ignore one's follies will always aid one's downfall."
"Hm." L hummed as he brought his thumb up to his lips, gently gnawing the appendage without a second thought.
Perhaps some re-visiting of thought would be necessary after all…
Sachiko hid her triumphant grin behind a dainty hand, eyes glowing with satisfaction.
"Perhaps you're right."
L felt his eye twitch as a set of plates hit the floor, Light's shocked countenance almost enough to make up for the over exaggerated (possibly) surprise.
"… What?"
"Perhaps," the pallid detective began as stoically as possible "it would be to my benefit to seek someone out to assist me with my… problem."
For a moment there was nothing but silence within the apartment as L waited for Light's response which seemed delayed by the still-there astonishment upon the college student's face.
"Do you want to see my list?"
L almost smacked himself in the face at the (satisfactory, manipulative, loving?) giddy smile dripping off the auburn-haired man's lips.
Something told him that Light was going to have too much fun saying-
"I told you so…"
Charcoal gray eyes met crystal blue as the stare down of the century seemed to take place within a second's time.
"Do you know why you are here Mr. Lawliet?"
"Because my ex-boyfriend cum roommate told me come here?"
Quillsh Whammy didn't even twitch as he marked something off on his notepad, the clinical setting reminding L eerily of his old orphanage.
"You are here because you wish to be. Any other reason and you might as well not be here at all." L almost snorted but held himself back… barely. "Do you think you have a problem Mr. Lawliet?"
Though L's mouth dropped open to answer, no sound was released from his lips.
The scratching of pen against paper echoed within L's ears as his mouth stayed open and yet no words were able to escape them.
In order for Light to come to terms with his relationship with L, there were certain things that needed to be established, certain questions to be answered and most importantly certain rules to be abided.
The only problem with that was that L had always loved to push Light's boundaries in return, so much so that those rules eventually were broken and a new set had to be constructed just so Light's sensibilities weren't ricocheted off the walls and L had a new game to occupy his time after the old game was won and became old.
Even though they weren't together, old habits were so very hard to break.
"L, get off ofme. Now!"
Rule Number One: Minimal to No Hugging Unless Absolutely Necessary. Meaning CRISIS AND CRISIS ONLY!
"But Light, I have had a stressful day. That doctor you had me see was relentless in his pursuit of information." L pouted (yes, pouted) as he held onto Light with a grip of steel.
"I'm sure with you being as defenseless as you are that you didn't give him a run for his money." Light snidely returned, his free arm slowly winding around to meet L's tight embrace.
L bit his lip, his thumb too far to contemplate abusing (and the way Light silently relented to his touches made the want to obsolete regardless) and curled around the lithe young man like a serpent trapping his prey.
Rule Number Two: No Groping of Random Body Parts. Period.
Hands, which were still very shaky, trailed up Light's sides, pinching and rubbing in certain spots that L knew made Light purr like a kitten and gasp like a maiden in distress until they reached their destination, one right at the small of the younger man's back and the other on the side of that gorgeous long neck.
Lukewarm breaths trailed over golden skin as lips barely caressed the flesh at its disposable, the hand that had been comfortably settled low on Light's back trailing even further down and pushing forward.
Rule Number Three: No Kissing. Just… No. None. At. All.
Light blinked as he found himself looking down at L instead of up, thighs straddling thighs, chest meeting chest, and most importantly, lips only centimeters away from lips.
Bleary gray eyes usually masked behind a cold façade warmed a tiny bit, trailing over Light's worn features, youthful but still full of strife age had nothing to do with. A tremulous thumb brushed the plump lower lip belonging to the younger man, pink flesh begging to be gnawed and suckled as they are plowed through over and over…
"Don't." The brown-eyed college student gasped out, fingertips brushing against L's lower lip.
Don't cross this line.
L didn't think of (or ignored) the meaning of the word and nipped at the end of the appendage, nudging it out of his way. Surging forward, opal pink lips latched onto that plump piece of flesh that had been taunting him and mentally gave a sigh of relief.
Nothing made the older man feel better than kissing these lips that bought him great satisfaction yet simultaneously caused him equal amounts of strife.
'You are the sweetest poison I've ever tasted…'
Inadvertently, Light allowed the detective entrance after a particularly rough nip but managed to stifle his own moan as a familiar slick appendage caressed his tongue and followed its every movement in a slow drawl.
Breathing heavily through his nose, light brown eyes stayed open, charcoal gray impressing their own need as pale arms tightened their grip and kept Light as close as possible.
Even as their lips broke apart, bodies were kept intertwined, boundaries fully collapsed around them.
Burned bridges were never truly forgotten but the falling cinders kept floating around the two semi-able-bodied men, suffocating the remembrances of pain until the only memory was the one their forgetful bodies still kept close.
A passing thought about rules floated through Light's mind but a quick flick of a hand and a faraway moan brushed the empty words off until they were nothing but a flicker of a memory left to be ruminated another day.
Rules, especially Light's rules, were always meant to be broken.
"Light," L glanced around nervously, only recognizing half of the guests within his home "what is going on here?"
"I wanted to celebrate your first step towards real sobriety."
L gave the man a blank stare, the smirk on Light's face not fooling him in the least.
"What?"
A person L had never met before walked by them with a beer in one hand and a shot glass filled with gold liquid in another.
"You said you were doing so well that you didn't need any more of your therapy remember?" Light grinned. "I just wanted to give you the party you deserved in honor of your… quick recovery!"
Which translated into: Let's see how long you can last before you're doing keg stands by the window.
L internally gulped.
He didn't even give himself 20 minutes.
Light's grin faltered as he watched L disappear into the crowd, the usually spacious apartment obviously not used to accommodating so many people.
He didn't even give L 20 minutes…
But luckily for him Light would be there to catch him before he fell.
His thumb was going to be mutilated by the time the man in front of him was finished with the large glass of amber-colored liquid the same color of Light's eyes when he was exceptionally happy.
Either that or his brain was going to implode from the amount of pain reverberating through his skull, senseless whispers cooing into his ear.
"Just a little…"
"Who would know?"
"Just a... sip?"
"You know when… to stop…"
"Right?"
The gentle nibbling from before became an outrageous gnaw, skin peeling away from nail as droplets of blood hung from both his lower lip and the ripped flesh he was still feasting upon.
The man in front of him wrinkled their nose in disgust, setting the glass back on the mini-bar and backing away from the bloody display L was unknowingly giving the whole room. Ready to chomp down to the bone and not even realizing it, the pale-skinned alcoholic wondered if just one taste would really be so bad…
Golden fingers pried the hand away from L's mouth before any more damage could be done, the investigator jumping up in surprise. Light's chocolate-brown eyes (that color meant he was disappointed, but disappointed in what?) narrowed just a tiny bit, showing enough displeasure at the action that nothing need be said.
'Prove that I'm right.' Is what that gaze truly pleaded 'Look at yourself. Is this really what you want?'
L sighed.
"I suppose the party's over" The baritone-voiced man regretfully complied, "in more ways than one."
Within minutes the tawny-haired college-student evacuated the apartment of all drunkards and miscreants, some much more hesitant to leave all the free booze than others but still easily disposed of.
L stared at the empty glass on his bar-counter, absently wondering if one taste, just one taste was ever really worth the risk.
Although others would have lamented his position (and many more would have been ecstatic) L was not in either category.
Arms stretched out over his bare torso, golden skin still smoothed out with vitality, L contrasted his own features with Light's as the aforementioned man stayed quietly in his slumber.
The stale scent of sex was not present nor was the stickiness sweat afforded one with after a particularly vicious romp. Instead of the emotional haze that only clouded over the detective's mind after a passionate night of arguing and fucking he felt strangely relaxed, for once not numbed by any form of release but that of being as close as possible to the closest person L had ever known to really love.
But what was it to love? At times, it felt like a fantasy catching at the tips of his fingertips. Nothing was perfect and all the imperfect ions of their relationship didn't make him as ecstatic as those characters in the epic love stories his mother used to read so long ago or the movies that Mihael made him watch when he and Mail visited his home out of the blue (and who would have thought Mihael even liked romantic comedies anyway?). Trying to keep up with their romance was tiring, obnoxious and something most people couldn't take.
L even wondered how he managed to keep up with it most days.
There was nothing beautiful or grandiose about their love. No declarations of the "When Harry Met Sally" kind and most definitely nothing stringent or concrete. Everything about L and Light together was made up of maybe's and sort-of's. But for two people who knew what life was really like, what it was to lose so much and appreciate what little they still have, even something as wavering as emotion was analyzed and kept close.
Even on the first night, it had not really been about the sex. Sex was something you could buy, sell, offer, be given on a whim. But the electricity of compatibility and the equal want for something more (even if Light said otherwise, if he hadn't wanted more than he wouldn't have given L his number in return) was rare especially among two men so easily bored with everything and everyone around them.
Bonds were not easily made and L and Light's bond was especially difficult to break.
Dark gray eyes lazily blinked as the body on top of their own shifting closer to the warmth beneath it. Chilled fingers stroked the strong expanse of healed-over skin masked as ugly scars, wondering what others would say if they could see the ugliness Light hid within, both inside and out.
Smirking in satisfaction, L prided himself in being the only one to ever see each flaw meticulously hidden within that body in full, not to be disguised by clothing or some superficial lie Light could fabricate in response to what he considered to be prodding.
Quillsh Whammy blinked as he stared at the young men sitting in front of him, the planned intervention not going exactly as he had planned.
"I'm not getting what it is you are trying to say Mr. Lawliet."
"Exactly."
Light rolled his eyes, obviously not buying into L's "sound logic".
"You don't get it so how are you supposed to be charged with helping keep track of my sobriety because you don't get me?"
"Addiction, I am afraid, is easily identified between many people Mr. Lawliet because of the similar, if not exact, symptoms within people, and though there are different degrees of addiction withdrawal symptoms and the process of continuous sobriety is usually sketched the same as it is what most, if not all, go through in the same way." Glancing over at Light, Quillsh stifled the growing grin on his face as the smirk stretching across Light's lips signified that he had probably said the same thing before and more than once he could bet. "Mr. Yagami, L has informed me that you recently held a… party in his honor?"
That smirk became just a bit bigger and a lot more vicious.
"Indeed I did Mr. Whammy." The youngest man in the room leaned forward, obviously pleased with his actions. "It was certainly a learning experience for your dear patient."
"More like a torture session." L mumbled in between clenched teeth.
"That too!" Light chirped happily. "That… definitely."
"And did that not show you how severe your addiction could be Mr. Lawliet?"
L's eye began to twitch erratically in response.
"Mr. Yagami, I feel as a clinician that you staying with Mr. Lawliet is a good move at the moment but there will be a point of time in which I assume you will want to leave. Have you thought of how that might affect L in the future?" This time it was Light that looked distinctly uncomfortable instead of L, who though still irritable looked a bit better now that the focus wasn't directed entirely on him. "Do you plan on staying there indefinitely or is there a time table that you wish to have in place? I can't guarantee that I'll feel comfortable leaving L alone after say, a month or two, but you seem to have a positive influence on his want for sobriety and I'm sure that even just seeing you would be beneficial to his continued abstinence to alcohol."
"I… haven't really thought about it." Light reluctantly admitted.
"It is a lot of take in at once. I have to say, you've done a fantastic job up until now." The white-haired old man smiled congenially, eyes closing absently as a sign of comfort. "I just want to make sure that L will be stable even after you're gone Mr. Yagami. You are a strong influence on how he continues his work ahead of him after all."
Fingers clenched tightly over rough jean material.
'After you're gone…'
"Right." Light muttered, nodding absently. "Right…"
Light was almost afraid to look at the paper.
Dr. Kurosaki smiled.
"Seriously?"
"You act as if you're leaving jail after years of confinement." The psychiatrist wryly grinned. "You are free to go if you think you are. And honestly, you won't hear any complaints from me."
Skepticism was sketched all over Light's face.
"My number is right there," thin fingers traced the line of numbers, not even shaky with indecision "and if you need a recommendation for a certain program, I have a series of numbers for you to contact right here. As of right now, however, you are a free man Mr. Yagami. It's been a long journey but I think eight months is more than enough in your case."
"Ah… yes. May I… may I ask you something before I leave? It may seem silly but… it's been bothering me for the last couple of weeks and I need somebody else's input that isn't my own."
"Of course."
"Do you think it's possible to be in love with someone but still not believe in it at all?"
Dr. Kurosaki snorted a bit but smiled.
For a man so well-versed in pain and loss Light's confusion when it came to love was childish but understood.
"If it was, you would be doing a wonderful impersonation of it Light."
Light, who had been strangely quiet since his last trip to his therapist's office just a week back, managed to take L off guard once he found the voice he had suspiciously "lost".
"L? Do you think we're compatible?"
L blinked as he dropped his case-file onto the table, feet hanging precariously off the couch cushions whilst Light's head was perched awkwardly on his right thigh, pen twirling absently through his fingers.
"Compatible as in relationship-compatible or personality-compatible?"
Light thought about the question for a moment. "Both?"
At Light's question L heaved a breath, taking a moment to collect his thoughts as the torrent of information and, most importantly, memories, sputtered forth to provide an answer that L was both comfortable with and supplemented as much truth as he could muster.
"I think personality-wise that we are both always likely to bump heads because we are so much alike but, graciously, we like that about the other. Stubborn, always want to be right and need to have the last word in regardless of the fact of whether we are right or not. We both like to manipulate other people and do so well; honestly, if I weren't so attracted to you I could have seen myself as your best friend and vice-versa." Dark strands of hair fell forward as L leaned in and brushed a tiny kiss on Light's forehead. "Relationship-wise, I think we falter a bit. I choose to be more introverted about my emotions until I burst whereas you choose to lie and deceive in order to keep people at a distance. We argue but it is not the arguments that bother us but the big things we try to hide…"
"Why do you think we can't seem to get over each other?" Light turned onto his side, face closer to L's crotch without really realizing it (and L really couldn't find it in him to complain).
"Light, we never choose who we love." L deadpanned. "Do you think I really would have chosen you?"
"Well do you think that I…" The exclamation fell short, Light catching exactly what L had intended as the offense fell to the wayside. "That isn't going to make me say it."
"Today, Light." Humming under his breath, L preened. "Tomorrow, however, is always another day."
Light quieted down immediately, mumbling to himself every now and then.
Threading his fingers through Light's auburn-colored locks, L couldn't hold back his smile.
'Tomorrow is always another day…'
"Stop it!"
"Light, I just want to see!"
"I think the both of you may be distressing your mother…"
"Give it back!"
"Mom said I could look!"
"No she didn't!"
"Light… just let her look."
"Since when are you on her side?"
"I did not say I was on Sayu's side, I simply think that as you are older and much more mature you should not sink to her level."
"What does that say about you then?"
"And what are you trying to say about me L? That I'm immature?"
The sound of an older woman's chuckling the distracted the two men and young girl on the couch from their argument, the camera that had been the cause of all the trouble tumbled out of both Sayu and Light's lax hands and onto the carpeted floor.
"I'm thirsty." Sachiko patted her throat to add to the statement, voice slightly raspy from dehydration. "Would one of you-"
"I'll do it!" Sayu and Light stated at the same time, getting up and marching into the kitchen without so much as a second glance back.
"L, would you please follow them and make sure they do not break anything?"
The now-healthy and normal-looking (or as normal as L could ever look) detective nodded once before following the two siblings into the kitchen, exasperation dripping from his expression as easily as the smile he attempted to veil behind a well-placed thumb to his lips.
"I can get it, Sayu!"
"No, you'll just make it all fancy and expect her to care! Get her some freaking water and that's that!"
"Well I'm not getting it from the damn tap!"
"Um, seriously? How do you live with this L?"
"Oh, I'm sorry! How did you?"
"The both of you are going to drop the glass if you keep fig-"
CRASH!
"-ting."
"…"
"…"
"That was totally you're fault."
"Hey!"
Sachiko smiled as she stared out the window in front of her, bathed entirely in the rising sun's bright glow.
Broken dishes aside, it was nice to have her family back.
-Repose-
Steel-colored sheets pooled down Light's waist as the body spooned against his back shuffled closer to his person, left leg curled around his own as the accompanying arm squeezed the lithe body closer than before.
Instead of feeling suffocated or abhorring the loss of freedom to his limbs this afforded him with, Light smiled and dug himself deeper within the older man's embrace.
Minutes passed and Light, who couldn't recall a time where he did not fight his slumber, allowed his unconscious to sway him into the world of his dreams and hoped that when morning came this same swell of comfort carried him back into the land of the living.
Just this once he wanted to know what it was like…
What it was like to sleep without the worry of waking up to the echoing sound of his past screams and tears.
"I want your love and
I want your revenge;
You and me could write a bad romance.
(Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!)
I want your love and
All your lovers' revenge;
You and me could write a bad romance.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-
Caught in a bad romance…
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-
Caught in a bad romance."
-"Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga