DAY 6, Tree Next to New Trail
Physical assessment: Dirt-matted, oily hair from lack of washing; dirt and scratch-covered face; mud-covered clothing with my shirt all charred; shoes that are wearing out. At least I brush my teeth every night. I guess that small show of hygiene is a little comforting.
Mental assessment: Messed up. Seriously.
Morale assessment: Better. But still tired and cursing the name Remus Lupin for bringing us to a forest.
At least we'll be getting to the village soon.
DAY 6, New Trail
WE ARE ALMOST THERE. TAKING A QUICK REST BREAK SO WE DON'T FALL OVER FROM EXHAUSTION.
DAY 6, At the End of New Trail
We can see the village alright. It's a weird-looking village though. Doesn't matter. As long as we get home.
This is a lunch break. Eating the last cans of pineapples. We're so stupid for not bringing different kinds of food. Just pineapples, hot dogs, rubber penises, buns, and condiments. Remus said we were going to gather food and fish and stuff, but it didn't work out so well. Especially after the berries incident.
Doesn't matter! We're almost there! Forward march, men!
DAY 6, "Village"
I am in the bath. A bubble bath.
Usually, I never take bubble baths because I'm a manly man, but I am willing to make an exception for this occasion. Mmm… I am in heaven.
So the village turned out to be an ALL-GIRLS COLLEGE. Seriously. Heaven!
We looked pretty frightful, dirt-covered and all, but Remus led us to some administrative house and they just looked at us, listened to Remus explain our situation, then sent us to the Student Housing where they have baths. But we're being strictly guarded so we don't rape the girls. As if.
We've been promised a dinner in the Cafeteria after this and a bed to sleep in. We're expected to leave tomorrow though, but maybe we'll infringe on their hospitality a bit longer…
Mmm… Heaven on earth…
DAY 6, ALL-GIRLS COLLEGE!
At dinner right now. My mates are glowing with happiness although James looks uncomfortable. Probably thinking of Evans back home. Whatever. It's not they're married or anything. As long as James doesn't snog any of the girls, it's not cheating.
Girls are crowding us. And they're really hot, too. Sitting next to me is a girl named Emily. She has the sweetest smile. She's feeding me my mashed potatoes. Heaven, I tell you.
Remus looks a bit disgusted at that, but he has his own girl ministering to him. His girl has blond curls and her name is Anna. Peter has a brunette with the longest eyelashes I've ever seen. Her name's Rebecca. James has a redhead (funny how these things work) named Bella.
We are in heaven. I just pulled Emily a little closer to me. Hint hint?
DAY 6, ALL GIRLS COLLEGE!
Pitch black outside. I'm so happy.
I snogged Emily for most of free time after dinner. Then after the free time, other things…
Mmm, she was fine. I don't know what my mates were doing, but it doesn't matter. They didn't get to see Emily. She is hot. Best day ever.