Okay, I suck. Here's Chapter 2. I have VERY limited internet access at camp. I'll try to update at least once a week. Enjoy and comment if you want me to keep going.
Chapter 2: The Diagnosis
Finn sat in the living room, waiting for Rachel to get home. He'd barely eaten or slept all weekend. Not after hearing his son could have cancer. The fact that he had to fill both parental positions this weekend made the situation worse. He tried to act normal, but Ryan and Emma both asked if something was up.
He didn't want to tell anyone the news until he told Rachel in person that there was a possibility their youngest child had a life threatening illness. One goal Finn and Rachel had decided on right away was that they wanted their children to have as normal a childhood as possible. They both had major voids growing up.
Jack had spent most of the weekend in bed. Finn had tried to act like it was just a normal illness when he knew it was most likely more than that. He tried to pay equal attention to the other children but it was hard.
The kids brought Finn and Rachel more joy than anything, but at times having four young kids could be a challenge. This was the most challenging time.
After what felt like forever, Rachel unlocked the front door and came into the living room. "Hi, sweetie," she said, kissing Finn. "Good weekend?"
Before Finn had a chance to respond, Rachel began raving about her weekend in New York. Kurt and Blaine sent their love and their sons, six-year-old Michael and four-year-old Brendan, were getting so big. The people involved with Wicked had loved Rachel and the part was hers if she wanted it.
"Rachel, stop right there!" Finn shouted. He felt regret right away. He NEVER yelled at her.
"What?" Rachel asked, looking hurt.
Finn motioned for Rachel to sit on the couch and pulled her into his arms. "I'm so sorry I yelled at you, Rach," he said. "I'm really proud of you and I'm glad they liked you. But I have some bad news. This weekend I found a bruise on Jack's back. I took him to the doctor. The doctor referred us to an oncologist. It could be cancer." Finn felt tears falling almost right away. "I'm sorry. I had to tell you in person."
Rachel grabbed Finn's hand and squeezed it tight. "Maybe they just didn't know what they were doing-"
Finn sighed. "Rachel, this is one of the top children's hospitals in the midwest. As much as it scares me to think of this happening, I think they know what they're doing."
Rachel let a tear fall. "They probably know cancer when they see it. But how could this happen? Have you told anyone else yet?"
"I wanted to wait until you got home. I didn't want to have you hear from someone else."
"When do we find out?"
"The oncologist called earlier today. She wants to talk to both of us about the test results. Another sign it's not good news."
"When are we going in?"
"Tomorrow after school. I got a neighbor to watch the kids."
Rachel didn't say anything. She just pulled in close to Finn and gave him a tight hug. Finn hugged Rachel with all his might. Their hugs always felt so good, but at times like these, they had even more comfort and meaning than usual.
Finn and Rachel sat in the waiting room at the oncologist's office after school the next day, gripping each other's hands and with Rachel resting her head on Finn's shoulder.
A middle aged blond woman came into the waiting room. "Finn and Rachel Hudson?" she called.
Finn and Rachel stood up and followed her into her office. "I'm Dr. Sachs," she said, shaking their hands. "I have your son's test results. His white blood count is very low. We also found an abnormal fluid in his bone marrow. After many blood tests, we have confirmed he has Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia."
Rachel began crying. Finn put his arm around her.
"What treatments do you recommend?" Finn asked, not knowing what to say.
"I don't think we caught it early enough for treatment to really help," Dr. Sachs said. "Even with chemotherapy, he probably has six to eight months."
"And without treatment?" Rachel asked.
"Two months. I'm sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Hudson." She handed them information on the recommended treatment.
Finn and Rachel sobbed on the way home. "How could God do this, if there is a God?" Finn sobbed. "How could he do this to Jack? To Ryan, to Emma, to Sarah. How are we supposed to tell the kids this? They know what happened to Katie Becker's sister last year." Last year, a girl at the kids' school had a sister who died of the same cancer.
"It's not fair," Rachel said, now sobbing. They cried on the whole way home. Jack may not see his sixth birthday. He may not get to be with Ryan and Emma when they moved up to middle school this spring. He may not get to see Sarah's first musical this winter.
"After we tell the kids, we've got to tell our parents ," Finn said.
Rachel nodded. "We should also tell Kurt and Blaine. And Sam and Quinn."
"It's at times like this I wish we still lived close to everyone," Finn said. Finn's parents and sister, Rachel's dads and her mom and sister all lived in Lima still. Sam and Quinn also lived there with their kids, seven-year-old Adam and five-year-old Madeleine.
Before they were ready, Finn and Rachel pulled into their driveway. "I have no idea how to do this," Finn said.
"Neither do I," Rachel said. "Let's tell Jack first alone, then we'll tell the three older kids together."
Finn and Rachel went inside to find all four kids in the living room. Ryan was playing on the wii, Emma was reading a magazine, Sarah was drawing a picture and Jack was building a lego.
Finn glanced at Rachel, who then sighed and said, "Jack, could you come upstairs with Daddy and me?"
"Am I in trouble?" the five-year-old asked as he walked up the stairs with his parents.
"No, of course you aren't," Finn said as he watched tears fall from Rachel's eyes. "Mommy and I just need to talk to you about something."
Finn, Rachel and Jack went into Jack's room and closed the door. "Remember when you and I went to the doctor this weekend?" Finn said, not really knowing what to say. He looked at Rachel and knew then and there that she couldn't do this.
"Yeah, they poked those needles in me. It hurt," Jack said.
Finn looked at the sadness in his son's eyes, remembering the needles. There were a lot more in the near future. "Well, you're sick," Finn managed to say.
"Sick?" Jack asked. "What do you mean?"
Finn fought back tears. "You have cancer."
"What's that?"
"There's something not quite right with your blood. So the doctors are going to give you medicine to help it get better," Finn said quietly. "You're going to be spending lots of time at the hospital over the next few months."
"Why can't you and Mommy just give me medicine?" Jack asked.
Rachel finally spoke. "The doctors know better than Daddy and I know what to give you. I am going to warn you, they'll make you sick."
"But Mommy, if I'm sick, why are they giving me medicine that makes me more sick?" Jack looked confused.
Finn and Rachel looked at each other. How were they supposed to explain this to a little kid? "It's very complicated," Finn said. "You are getting your first medicine in a few weeks. You might be in the hospital for a few days after they give it to you. Also, there might be needles to put the medicine in you."
"Needles? I hated those needles!" Jack shouted.
"I don't want them to put needles in you either," Finn said. "But it'll make you better."
"Anything else?" Jack asked.
"I think that's all we need to tell you now," Finn said. "We've got to talk to your brother and sisters now."
Finn put his arm around Rachel as they went downstairs. Talking to Jack had been the most difficult thing he'd ever had to do. Talking to the older kids would be more difficult. Especially the twins. They knew about illness and death.
"I'm not going to let him die," Rachel whispered to Finn. Her voice sounded strangled.
Finn leaned down and kissed the top of Rachel's head. He didn't say anything.
They went downstairs, where their three older children were still hanging out.
"Could you three sit down?" Finn asked as calmly as he could. "Your mom and I need to talk about something."
Finn and Rachel sat on the couch. Ryan and Sarah sat in armchairs while Emma sat on the floor.
"Listen, I never wanted to have to tell you guys this," Finn said. "I wasn't expecting this, and your mom and I are going to tell you here and now we don't know how to deal with it."
"What happened?" Ryan asked.
Finn sighed. "Jack has cancer."
Ryan and Emma exchanged a glance of shock. Sarah looked at her parents in confusion. It was silent for a few moments.
"What kind?" Emma finally asked, sounding concerned.
Rachel sighed. "Leukemia. We're so sorry. I'm not going to lie, the next few months are going to be hard for our family. We're going to be spending lots of time at the hospital. Jack's medicines will help kill the cancer cells, but they'll make him sick to his stomach and there will be other side effects."
"Will he be okay?" Sarah asked.
Finn bit his lip. He didn't know but he wasn't about to tell his kids that. "I'm sure he will."
"Another thing," Rachel told the kids. "We may have to leave town for some of his treatments. If we leave town, you three will go to Lima and stay with Grandma Carole and Grandpa Burt, Grandpa Hiram and Grandpa Leroy or Grandma Shelby."
"I don't want you to leave us," Sarah said, looking close to tears.
Ryan went and sat next to Sarah and put his arm around her. Finn could already tell this meant they were upset.
"I do not want you guys to have to go through this," Finn told the kids. "You're too young to have to experience cancer. I don't want people to make fun of Jack because he gets tired easily or gets sick in the morning. It pains me to think of him spending days in a hospital, possibly hours away from you guys. This is going to put our family to the test. I believe we will get through this." He didn't know if they would but he had to be strong for the children. He put his arm around Rachel, who was close to tears. Finn felt ready to cry, but the kids shouldn't see their parents cry. Finn and Rachel were the ones to comfort Ryan, Emma and Sarah.
"You three get to bed," Rachel said. "You look really tired."
Finn watched the three children head up the stairs. When they were out of sight he held Rachel in his arms as tight as he could.
His eyes fell on the family photo taken on their trip to the beach last summer. Finn and Rachel were in the center with their kids perched on the sides. Beside Finn, Jack was leaning on Ryan and holding up a starfish he'd found on the beach. Beside Rachel, Sarah was on Emma's back. They all had big smiles.
Rachel slipped her hand into Finn's, seeming to know what he was doing. "I wish the Hudsons could be a happy family like that again," Rachel sighed.
Finn sighed. "So do I..." They sadly looked at each other, neither willing to say that they both knew their wasn't much happiness in the near future for them and their children.