The Best I Could Give
Chapter 5
Surprised didn't even cover the looks on Connie and Lula's faces when Stephanie walked into the bonds office with a baby in a carrier.
"White Girl, that's a baby!" Lula let out.
But before long, Austyn had all three women making faces and cooing over him. They had to promise not to say anything outside of this office about his existence and Lula threatened Vinnie with a body slam if he was listening and he quickly left saying he needed to place a bet. Stephanie was still hedging her mother's calls when someone called saying they spotted her around town with a baby. She told her mother there must be someone in Trenton who looks a lot like her who was married with a baby. Ellen Plum was miffed that her daughter missed lasagna; Stephanie knew she would get over it by the end of the decade.
The last two nights, Austyn only woke up once during the night. She changed him and the damp crib sheet sitting in her bedroom chair rocking him not aware she was doing it as he drank some formula closing his big eyes.
The searches had turned up no hits or a name even close to 'Chris' with a 'K". Tank told her with all the government regulations regarding patient privacy, not as much information was readily available in databases, and only what had consent could be published in the birth announcements, but Hector was working to get around the hospital firewalls.
Ella stocked a couple cans of formula, bottles, and 'Pampers' in a cupboard after her initial meeting with Austyn. Stephanie had a constant line of Rangemen coming by her desk to tickle or check on Austyn. If he was sleeping in his carrier on the small table someone placed by her desk, they would watch him sleep.
Ranger was hoping to finish up in Miami in the next few days unless his 'wimpy' employees had another client problem to hold him there he told Stephanie in their nightly telephone call. She felt like a teenager talking to her boyfriend at times. Could she quantify her and Ranger was boyfriend and girlfriend? Since the 'Morelli' show was permanently cancelled, Ranger had been more attentive when he was in town. They even had gone out to dinner and the movies a few times, so she did categorize them as dates. He even came willingly to dinner at her parents, talked hockey with Frank, told Edna Mazur he was impressed with her new stun gun and would let her know about watching porn with her, and Ellen was pleasant because he brought wine. When Ranger came back from 'in the wind', he came to her apartment first before Rangeman and fell asleep spooning Stephanie. They were getting closer little by little. She nicknamed it their 'un-relationship', because she didn't think Ranger would admit that it was one.
"Oh, he's one cute little white baby," Lula said holding Austyn up when Stephanie and her 'baby' stopped in on the third morning together. "Maybe, me and that Tankie of mine should think about makin' a Rangeman baby. I could be a Mommy. If My White Girl could, so can I."
"What is Ranger going to say about your baby?" Connie asked.
Shrugging her shoulders, Stephanie honestly didn't know, "Ranger told me he doesn't do babies or relationships, so Austyn and I could end up somewhere we don't know. I just wish." Stephanie stopped in mid sentence noticing a thin woman watching them through the glass and she turned away.
"Watch him!" Stephanie jumped up and ran out the door. There were a few people on the sidewalk but she noticed the woman walking slowly and despite the warm temperature, she had on a pale orange sweatshirt and grey pants like someone who was chilled because she was sick. She noticed a thin reddish brown ponytail under a baseball cap.
"Krys!"
She didn't acknowledge Stephanie.
"Krys, I need to talk with you about Austyn."
She did stop when the baby was mentioned then turned around slowly.
Stephanie hoped her shock did not register on her face. The woman on the sidewalk was pale, her dark eyes were sunken in slightly, and her neck was extremely thin like her hands. She had a baseball cap on her head, a few strands of brittle hair were hanging down and she appeared younger than the 'Burg' girl. Seeing her face, Stephanie remembered seeing a healthier woman looking in the 'Tasty Pastry' window she gave a couple of donuts to months ago, but because of the cold weather clothing, she didn't realize Austyn's mother was pregnant.
"Is Austyn OK?" she asked with a minor wheeze in her voice Stephanie detected.
All Stephanie could do was nod at the ill woman. "I'm Stephanie and Austyn is a really good baby. Can we talk?" She pointed back to Vinnie's.
"I'm Krystal," she said softly extending a hand to the woman she gave her baby to a few days ago. She walked slowly back to the bonds office with Stephanie.
Tears were falling seeing her son in Lula's lap drinking a bottle.
"Hi, Bubby."
Connie rolled her office chair over so the sick woman had something comfortable to sit on and once she was, her son was placed in her arms. Connie, Lula, and Stephanie sat quietly as she cried holding Austyn.
"I'm sick and I couldn't take care of him anymore. The treatments I don't think are stopping my cancer."
"Do you have any family to help you" Stephanie questioned. "Why did you leave Austyn with me?"
"No," Krystal shook her head. "My parents and older brother were killed in a car accident when I was seven. I didn't have any family who wanted me so I was placed in a foster home. I was in a few. When I graduated from high school, I left. The last family was nice, but when you do not really belong it's hard. I saved money from my summer jobs and working as a waitress."
Lula asked, "What about the baby daddy?"
"I'm not sure exactly. There was a guy Jay who I've never seen again and Tom from a coffee shop. He moved to Florida for his work and wanted me to come when I lost my job, but I didn't hear from him. I sound terrible, but it was only them."
Stephanie's friend huffed, "Well, sometimes a man is only good for one thing. I used to be a 'Ho' so I know. Some of mine were best at sayin' 'Hello' and "Good-bye'."
Both Connie and Stephanie rolled their eyes at that.
The bond's office manager spoke up, "Why Stephanie?"
"Social Services introduced me to two families to take Austyn, but they were so desperate to get him, they didn't listen to me when I talked about him and my hope of his future, they just continued to tell me how he would grow-up to be ignoring me. I wanted Austyn to be with someone kind and Stephanie is the kindest person I know. She always would say 'Hello' even if I wasn't dressed the best, she gave me her scarf on a cold day, and even doughnuts. I've seen how she is with people, she treats them as people. That's how I want Austyn to be."
"She don't even know if she wants kids?" Lula blurted out.
Krystal seemed to get frailer at the words. "Oh, I guess you won't want him!" The mother was quietly sobbing against his hair and went to get up, but she struggled with the baby's weight.
"No! Yes!" Stephanie's hands went around him. "I'm sure we can figure out something until you're better. I have baby stuff at my apartment for him. What about Social Services, don't they want to know where he is?"
"Carol, my case worker wants to know. I said I placed him with a friend until I can make a decision. The Chemo leaves me very fatigued, so she accepted it because I've been so sick. If I'm strong enough I like to take a walk in the sunshine."
"Do you live close by?" Stephanie asked
Krystal pointed down the street. "Around the corner in a group home for women."
"Let me drive you there and how about Austyn and I visit you everyday so that mother-baby bond isn't broken when I go to lunch. When you're better, I'll place him back with his mother."
"I may not get better."
Stephanie knew it deep down seeing her weakened condition, but she could overlook that for the moment. "If you know Austyn is well cared for and my friends, Lula, Connie, and Mary Lou, who lent me all the baby stuff, will be able to watch over your baby with me, then you can concentrate on your health."
Looking at her two friends, they were nodding with tear stained faces like Stephanie's.
Helping Krystal in her SUV and buckling Austyn in the car seat, Stephanie drove around the corner to a white washed building with some of the red bricks showing. White and yellow daisies were planted in pots on the small front porch with a small sign "Women's House. "
"Thank you," Krystal hugged her before she slowly opened the back door and kissed her son. "Bye, Bubby. My brother, Austyn, would tease me with that name. I know I am asking a lot, Stephanie, but you're exactly the one I want to love my baby as I do. You're so kind and the best person I can give Austyn. Don't doubt yourself."
"We'll see you tomorrow, Krystal," Stephanie gently hugged the sick woman back and watched her slowly walk up the three steps waving before she went in the front door.
Driving immediately to Rangeman, Tank informed Stephanie getting off the elevator they hadn't found any on 'Krys. She then related the information she learned. Krys's full name was 'Roberta Krystal Meyers' named after a grandmother and she went by Krystal or 'Krys'. Stephanie began her search and found everything she was told was true. Her family was driving to Wildwood for vacation when a drunk driver going the wrong way struck their car. The only one to survive was Krystal. She was thrown from the fiery collision. None of her extended family offered to give the orphan a home because her parents didn't have much. A grandmother wanted her but she died shortly after her daughter, Kathryn, the girl's mother, was killed, and before Krystal was released from the hospital from her extensive injuries. She became a ward of the State of New Jersey. From age 8 to 18, she was in five different foster homes. It wasn't for bad behavior, but because she was very quiet and introspective, not really participating with the family. She attended some college and worked for a number of years at a small newspaper in Hackensack until it folded. Her unemployment exhausted without finding a permanent job. There wasn't much after that other that she worked at a print shop Stephanie recognized near the courthouse for a short time in Trenton and a listing of her son's birth as February 2, 2010 making Austyn just over three months. There were some similarities in their lives. Her father worked as a letter carrier in Camden. Her mother stayed at home and her brother was two years older than she was like Valerie was to Stephanie. What tore at Stephanie, Krystal was almost twenty-eight, two years younger than Stephanie and the 'Burg' girl's life was a piece of cake compared to Austyn's mother.
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When Ranger stepped into the dark apartment, he heard Rex running in his wheel. His eyes picked up the outline of something new between the living room and dining table. His hand gave the seat a small push and it swayed back and forth a few times before it stopped. His eyebrow was up in the dark room except for the light coming through the window
He picked up Stephanie's voice, it was low but he knew her well enough to know she way crying. Noticing her laptop on the table, he hit a button for the screen to come on. There was her home screen with Trenton weather, pictures of doughnuts, and the latest local and world news. Curious, he opened the browser window seeing she had been on websites about babies and cancer. He closed it and started down the hallway wondering what had been going on since he was in Miami.
Stopping outside the bedroom door not making a sound, he listened to Stephanie. "I'm sorry, you Sweet Little Boy. Your mother should be here giving you a bottle and tucking you in at night. What if your mommy is wrong and I can't give what you need?"
Ranger stepped into the bedroom watching in her comfy chair moved by the window, a baby was in her arms drinking a bottle. "Babe."