Okay, so I hope I didn't turn away too many readers. Let me say that killing the son of Finn and Rachel was difficult to do. When you're as devoted a fan as I am, you bond with the characters, and Finn and Rachel are the characters I've bonded with the most. Killing their son was like killing a close friend's kid. I hated doing it, but I felt like that was what I had to do.
Like I've said before, this story will have a happy ending. The next chapter (which will be up soon) will have that happy ending. I also plan on making my next fanfic much happier.
Thank you so much for 25631 reads. Enjoy chapter 11 and don't forget to review :)

Chapter 11: The Last Goodbye

With tears forming in her eyes, Rachel looked around the church. She never imagined she would be sitting at her own son's funeral. It broke her heart to look at the casket as the priest began to speak.
"We are gathered to remember the life of Jack Christopher Hudson, son of Finn and Rachel Hudson, brother of Ryan, Emma and Sarah Hudson." Rachel put her arm around a sobbing Emma and tightened her grip around Sarah, who was sitting in her mother's lap crying. She looked beside her to see Ryan's face buried in Finn's stomach. As Emma snuggled into her, Rachel reached down to grip Finn's hand.
The past few days had been like hell for the family. Rachel and Finn had survived by being busy preparing for the service and the visitations, while at the same time being exhausted, attempting to recover from the shock and struggling to console their inconsolable children.
In the pew behind them were Burt, Carole, Ally, Hiram, Leroy, Shelby, Beth, Kurt and Blaine. Their parents and siblings had gone to the funeral home with them to plan for the visitations and the service. Beth had spent lots of time hanging out with Emma and Sarah, while Michael and Brendan had been with Ryan a lot.
Rachel struggled to hold back her tears during the opening prayer. Sarah's tears were already leaving wet spots on Rachel's black dress. The past few days had been crazy as they could have been. Rachel still didn't want to believe that in that coffin was her youngest son, never to be seen again. She'd stared at him in the coffin at the funeral home, trying to memorize every detail of him. She could barely stand to look at, much less talk to, any of the friends or family members who came to visit. The entire New Directions Class of 2012 had come into Cleveland. Kurt and Blaine, with Michael and Brendan. Sam and Quinn, with Adam and Maddie. Mike and Tina with their son Joey. Puck, with his wife Ashley and their daughters Lily and Molly. Artie and Brittany with their son Mitchell and daughter Alicia. Mercedes and Matt, with their sons Chris and Jared. The one who could have been Jack's savior, Santana, with her wife Michelle and their daughters Carly and Jenna. Even the freshmen Finn and Rachel had mentored their senior year, Jake and Kylie, were there with their two children Joshua Finn Cirino (Josh) and Abigail Rachel Cirino (Abby). Mr. and Mrs. Schuester were also there with their three children, James, Andrew and Monica. The New Directions family sat behind the Berry-Corcoran and Hudson-Hummel families.
The priest continued talking. "Jack was an incredible person. I had the pleasure of knowing him since his family first started attending this church when he was about five months old. Every Sunday I looked forward to seeing his smiling face in the pew where he always sat with his parents, brother and sisters. His presence will be greatly missed by everyone..." Rachel's mind began wandering again as she looked around the church. There were other families from Cambridge there whose kids were in the Hudson kids' grades. Staff and students from the schools where Finn and Rachel worked. Neighbors. Other cancer patients and their families. Staff from the hospital. The church was practically full. In high school Rachel used to dream about her own funeral. She wished she hadn't done that and never dreamed she'd be at her son's funeral.
"Mommy?" Sarah whispered in Rachel's ear.
"What is it, honey?" Rachel whispered.
"Why did he have to die?" Sarah asked as tears started falling.
"I'm so sorry," Rachel whispered, cradling her daughter. She looked over at Finn, who had his arms around Ryan and Emma. Both Finn and Rachel were crying, but these kids needed them. They had to be strong. Rachel had told herself that over and over and was having a harder time believing it. Would they ever truly be okay?
The readings ended and it was time for the speeches. Finn and Rachel would give the first one, then Jack's brother and sisters. Ryan, Emma and Sarah refused to share the words they'd prepared with their parents (well,the twins had probably written most of it). Gripping each other's hands, Finn and Rachel took the spot at the sodium on the altar to speak.
"Hello, everyone," Finn began. He gripped Rachel's hand tighter. Rachel looked up at him and saw that he was crying. She was crying too, but was thankful he was speaking now. She couldn't do it yet.
Finn continued talking. "When Rachel and I met in high school, she dreamed of becoming a Broadway star and I dreamed of becoming a pro football player. We ended up getting a better life in a quiet suburb with our children. We never dreamed that today we'd be saying goodbye to one of those children who brought so much happiness to our lives.
"When Jack was first diagnosed, we were optimistic. We decided we'd give it everything we had and push past everything and everyone. The three month battle took us all on a toll emotionally, financially and physically, but I know we could endure it even longer because we'd be so lucky to still have him with us.
"I don't think Jack would want us to remember him by his cancer. When we prepared this speech we tried to find the perfect story to describe our son. We struggled. As his parents we'd be expected to find just the right story but we were lost. Going through photo albums, we found a photo from his first day of kindergarten, about a week before he was diagnosed. When I found that picture I commented to Rachel that he didn't look sick. Then memories of that day came back. I think that day describes Jack perfectly. I remember how excited he was. When we dropped him off, he was running around the classroom, reading the books, playing with the toys and introducing himself to everyone. One of the other parents turned to Rachel and told us that our son wanted to know everyone and everything. I think that says alot about Jack. It's as if he knew all along his time with us would be limited, so he decided to make that time meaningful."
Rachel could tell Finn was getting too emotional to keep going. She nudged him and stepped to the podium, fighting back tears as she continued reading the words they'd prepared.
"There is a huge hole in my heart, in Finn's, in Ryan's, in Emma's, in Sarah's. All we can do to comfort ourselves is to cherish our memories of him and trying our hardest to live each day to the fullest, expressing the joy he often expressed. Jack, we will love you forever, and you'll always be in our hearts."
Rachel looked at Finn, who was now full out sobbing. She gave him a tight hug as they walked back to the pew to listen to the words their children had prepared.
Seeing Ryan, Emma and Sarah on the podium, looking close to tears, hurt. They shouldn't have to do this.
After a few moments of quiet, Emma began speaking. "Hi. I'm Jack's sister Emma. This is his brother Ryan and his sister Sarah. Our parents asked us to say something today. Well, I guess the best thing to say is Jack was a really great brother. He was really nice and really funny. He was fun to play with. The four of us trick-or-treated and raked and jumped into leaves in the fall, made snowmen and put up Christmas decorations in the winter, planted in the garden and rode our bikes in the spring and swam at the pool and ate ice cream in the summer. It's going to be weird only having three of us."
Rachel sobbed into Finn's shoulder. She'd thought about that too. She'd just hoped they hadn't thought of that.
Ryan took over talking. "The four of us were so excited that this year we'd all be at the same school. Lots of our friends fight with their brothers and sisters, but we don't. I know Jack wants me and the girls to stay close."
Now Sarah started talking. "We'll try not to be sad but right now we are sad. One day I hope we can be happy again. We love you Jack. We miss you."
Rachel and Finn stopped their crying long enough to hug their children when they got back from the altar. Sarah sat on Finn's lap and started sobbing on his shoulder, while Emma and Ryan snuggled into Rachel.
The rest of the service was beautiful, especially when the New Directions alumni sang. When the service ended, Rachel and Finn got lots of hugs from their friends and family members before getting in the hearse to go to the cemetery. The ride in the hearse was silent. All Rachel could think about was how one of her children was dead and the other three now would forever have scars from it. All she and Finn had ever wanted was a safe, happy childhood for their children. Now that would never happen. Their childhoods would be defined by death, loss and grief.
The graveside part of the service was even more painful than the part at the church. When Jack's coffin was placed in the ground, that was it. Never again would he be seen. Rachel and Finn sobbed the whole way to the luncheon. As they sobbed, Ryan, Emma and Sarah gave them hugs, wiped their tears and told them they loved them. This only made Rachel cry more. She and Finn were supposed to be comforting their three young , the children were comforting them.
When they got to Cambridge for the luncheon, Finn told the children to go be with their friends, telling them it might help. He whispered to Rachel, "I think time away from their sobbing parents will be good for them. Besides, I think we need time with our friends, too."
Rachel stood on her tiptoes to kiss Finn's cheek.
"You poor things." Rachel and Finn turned to see Kurt, Mercedes and Tina approaching them. "It was a beautiful service," Mercedes said. "Your speeches showed how close the family is."
Rachel forced a smile. "Thanks."
Puck, Artie and Blaine walked over. (Artie could walk now, thanks to an operation he'd gotten six years ago.) "Have you two eaten?" Artie asked.
"Oh, we've lost our appetites," Rachel said.
"Please at least eat something," Tina said.
Rachel picked up a small cheese cube and put it in her mouth. "I ate something."
"She meant a real meal," Puck said.
Sam and Quinn joined the group. "We've said this before, but let us know if we can do anything," Sam said.
Finn started to respond as Brittany and Santana came over, followed by Mike and Matt a few minutes later, then Jake and Kylie. It was just like old days. "Really, you guys didn't all have to come into Cleveland," Finn said. "Especially when Christmas is less than two weeks away."
"Of course we did," Jake said. "You guys are too important to us for us not to come."
"Where do you think Josh and Abby got their middle names?" Kylie said. "We love you guys too much to watch you go through this alone."
"And when you get home, pack your bags," Kurt said. "You two and the kids are coming to New York with us to spend Christmas and New Year's there."
"Thanks Kurt, but we'll be as good in Cleveland as anywhere," Finn said.
"Please go to New York," Puck said. "A change of location could be helpful."
"If no other reason, for your kids," Quinn said.
Rachel sighed and looked at Finn. "Fine, we'll do it."
"And you're not going back to Cleveland until the day before the kids go back to school," Blaine said.
Sarah came over. "Mommy, Daddy, I want to go home."
"Wait a little, Sarah," Finn said.
Sarah pulled on Rachel's sleeve and slapped her stomach. Rachel had almost forgotten about the small bump that was forming on her stomach, where Sarah had slapped her. "Sarah, please leave my stomach alone," Rachel sighed. "I don't-"
Quinn shot Rachel a look, hinting she had the same suspicion Rachel had. Rachel looked back at Quinn and nodded before turning back to her daughter. "We'll go home soon."
x
Going to New York made things marginally better. Burt, Carole and Ally flew in too. Sarah was especially easily distracted by all the festivities in New York. Distracting Ryan and Emma was harder, but doable.
Finn and Rachel attempted to distract themselves by running around New York doing last minute Christmas shopping they hadn't done because they'd been so distracted back home. Nothing could really make them feel better.
Christmas morning came and Rachel figured it would be a good time to figure out if what she suspected was happening. After Ryan, Emma, Sarah, Ally, Michael and Brendan opened their gifts, Rachel snuck into the bathroom at Kurt and Blaine's townhouse and did what she had to do. When she looked at the results, she smiled for the first time since Jack's death, then called out to Finn.