A/N: Ch3... oh, the humor... ;) lol!!
Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ
Piccolo was meditating over a large boulder, and Gohan stared at him with a transfixed gaze. Gohan knew that Piccolo didn't like being interrupted during their training sessions, but a question was bugging the back of his head, he just add to ask him before his brains blew up.
"Uh... um... Piccolo?" he murmured nervously.
"Moments passed, and he looked at the demi-Saiyan with one eye. "What is it kid?"
"I've been... meaning to ask you a question... for quite some time..." he murmured, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.
"And the question is?" he asserted.
"Where do babies come from?"
Piccolo shouted, and fell of the boulder. Gohan advanced him, and stared at the slightly shaken Namek. "Was it something I said?" Gohan murmured, very confused.
"Why are you asking me that!!??" shouted Piccolo, large veins now appearing on his forehead. "Ask your parents, not ME!!!"
"My parents?" Gohan repeated. "Why can't I ask you? Is there something wrong?"
The Namek shook his head silently, "There's nothing wrong, it's better for you to talk to your parents about this kind of stuff... personal stuff..." he said gruffly.
"Why is it personal, Piccolo?"
Piccolo growled silently. "Just... go ask someone else, okay kid??"
"Okay, sure... gees..." he took off into the air, and thought about Piccolo's answer for a while. Gosh... why couldn't he tell me where babies come from? What's so wrong about trying to know where babies come from? Maybe they're just trying to hide something from me... but what? What are they hiding from me?
He blinked rapidly, and saw Capsule Corp nearby. He smiled, and flew towards that direction. "I know what I should do now!! I'm going to ask Bulma!! Maybe she could tell me where babies come from!!!"
He landed about three feet from the main entrance, and when he was about to knock, Vegeta opened the door, the usual scowl crossed over his features, his arms crossed over his chest, strict posture, etc...
Gohan backed away, and felt his legs trembling. "Oh, uh... forgot you lived here... hey... erm... Vegeta."
"What do you want, brat??" he snapped.
Gohan twiddled with his fingers nervously. "Well, uh... I... um... I wanted to speak with Bulma."
Vegeta lifted his chin up, and averted his eyes to the Gravity Room. "The woman is busy... repairing the Gravity Room," he clarified.
"Oh... that's too bad... I needed to ask her something really important!!!" he argued.
"Ask her when she is not busy," he said sternly, as though finishing the conversation there. As he began to close the door, Gohan came up with another great idea.
"Vegeta, wait!!"
"What is it this time, brat!!??" He snapped, opening the door again, impatience crossing over his hard features.
"Well... maybe I can... ask you..."
"Spit it out already will you!!??"
Gohan rubbed the back of his neck, sweat no pouring from his forehead. "Okay... where do babies come from??"
Vegeta froze in his stature, and a huge sweat drop appeared on the back of his head. "Uh... excuse me?" he stammered.
"Do you know where babies come from, Vegeta?? I tried to ask Piccolo, but he went berserk, and told me to ask my parents, but they're out shopping for clothes, and I don't want to bother them, so I came to ask Bulma, but since she's so busy fixing the G.R, maybe you can tell me where babies come from," he smiled up at the Saiyan Prince.
Vegeta shivered, and pushed him towards the Gravity Room. Gohan was confused. "Hey, where are we--"
"I'm pretty sure the woman has time to speak with you. You could talk about... you're issue."
"My what?"
"Just talk to her for crying out loud!!!" he dropped him off, and flew back inside the mansion. Gohan just shrugged, and knocked on the door hastily. There was a slight hiss, and smoke as the door opened, Bulma's head peering through the crack. "Oh, Gohan, it's you... I thought it was Vegeta about to tell me to hurry up or something. What's up, dude?"
Gohan did the same nervous gesture, and blushed slightly. "Nothing, I just came here... to ask you a quick question."
"Sure, what's on your mind?" She asked, returning her attention to a couple of wires sticking out of the wall.
"Well... do you know where babies come from?"
Bulma's face went as pale as did Vegeta's when he asked him that same question, and the tools she was holding in her hands were now scattered all over the floor. "What... what did you say... G-G-Gohan?"
"I said... where do babies come from??" Gohan raised his voice at her. Bulma frowned at him, and shook him on the shoulders.
"Tell me...where have you been, what have you been watching, who have you been talking to, and does Yamcha, or Master Roshi have anything to do about this??!!" Bulma said all in one breath.
"Umm... I was training with Piccolo, I watched digimon last week, before mom blew up the television... I was talking to Piccolo not too long ago, and I just talked to Vegeta right now, but he told me to talk to you, and no, Yamcha, and Master Roshi have nothing to do with me trying to find out where babies come from.." he said in one breath.
"Why don't you... ask your parents??" she chuckled nervously, now picking up the tools from the floor.
"That's what Piccolo told me to do, but they're out shopping right now, and I didn't want to bother them, so I tried to talk to you, then I saw Vegeta, and he said you were busy, so I asked him instead, but he kinda freaked out on me, and told me to ask you instead."
"Oh... I see... well... Piccolo's right. You should ask your parents."
"But why?? Why can't anyone tell me where babies come from?? I just want to know, what's so wrong about that??"
Bulma smiled, and played with his hair. "Listen, kid... it's better to hear this... coming from your parents, besides... Chichi might rip off my arms and legs off if I told you... so just wait till your parents come from shopping, and ask them whenever you're ready."
"Whenever I'm ready?"
Bulma winced inwardly. "Yeah... when they come back home, Okay kid. And don't ask Yamcha, or Master Roshi about this, okay??"
"Why not?" asked Gohan.
"Well, because... they... just don't ask them, okay??"
"Okay."
Gohan took off into the air again, and when he saw his house nearby, he landed, and kicked off his shoes as he entered the house. He could tell right away that Goku was home, because he could hear him talking. He sounded a bit weird though... like he was screaming, and shouting at the same time. He could also hear Chichi's voice, and her voice sounded weird too. Like she was screaming for help, or something. He didn't know why they sounded like that, but he had to check it out.
He peered through the bedroom door, and saw his mom on the bed, and his dad was on top of her, moving really fast above her. They appeared to be wrestling, but why were they wrestling on the bed?? And why were they naked?? He shrugged, and went outside, until they finished their wrestling, but no one came out of the house, so instead he went back in the house, and picked up a book to read. It was his favorite book. Moby Dick.
As he flipped through the pages, Goku finally came out of the bedroom, and paused when he saw Gohan sitting on the couch with a book on his lap.
"Oh, hey Gohan!! Were you there?? All this time??" he asked nervously.
He looked up, and saw Goku peering down at him, his face filled with preoccupation. "Nah, I just came right now, and I wanted to ask you a question, but since you were shopping all day, I went to Piccolo's then to Capsule Corp, and I came back here, but since you and mom were wrestling, I waited outside until you guys finished. Oh, and by the way, who won?? You looked like you were winning!!!" Gohan grinned giving him a thumbs up.
Goku smacked himself in the head, and sat next to Gohan. He thought Gohan had stayed over at Master Roshi's place, so he insisted that he and Chichi get some alone time... but he didn't know Gohan was there the whole time... It was finally time... to give him the talk. He just wished Chichi was awake to explain it all, not him!!!
"Hey dad, I wanted to ask you a question." Gohan said, putting the book aside.
"Okay, ask away son."
"Where do babies come from??"
Goku fell out of the sofa, and staggered on his feet to get back on the couch. "Oh boy... listen Gohan... what I am about to tell you... you keep it in the house, you hear. And don't tell any of your classmates." Goku warned him.
"Okay dad. Tell me where babies come from."
"Listen... when two people are in love, they...err... make love to each other."
"I don't get it. What does that have to do with babies?"
"I'm getting to that, Gohan, just give me a minute." Goku sat up, took in a deep breath, and exhaled. He threw several punches into the air, and sat back down on the couch, staring down at Gohan with a lot of confidence. "Listen... ever wonder why your mom and I sleep in the same bed?"
"Because... we're poor, and you can only afford one bed?"
Goku shook his head. "No, well... you see when a man loves a woman he puts his..."
As Goku continued to explain the facts about life, Gohan's face turned into a deep shade of blue as he continued to explain.
"And that's where babies come from, Gohan." Goku said, heaving a sigh as he said all this in one breath. Gohan shook his head, and flew out of the house, drilling a hole on the roof of the house. Goku stared up, and arched his eyebrow. "He was going to hear about it one day from Master Rosh... it's not like I messed up his life... hopefully not..."
Later that day, Gohan told all his classmates about the facts of life, and Goku was sent a letter to have a personal conference with the teacher herself. Goku was wearing his best suit, and Chichi was also wearing her best clothes too, but she was in a very prissy mood. She couldn't believe why he had taken away his innocence like that!!!
"He was bound to find out about it anyway, Chichi!! It's not my fault!!"
"Oh, nothing's ever your fault!! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU TOLD HIM SUCH A THING LIKE THAT!!! HE'S ONLY SEVEN YEARS OLD FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!! NOW IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT ALL THE KIDS ARE TRAMATIZED!!!"
"But I told him not to tell his classmates!!" defended Goku.
"OH, LIKE THAT'S GONNA HELP!! WHAT GOOD FATHERING SKILLS YOU HAVE!! YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD FATHER!!!" Chichi shouted at the top of her lungs.
Gohan, and a couple of his classmates were all hiding behind the window, staring at the ongoing battle. Gohan bought his fingers to his lips, careful not to make a sound. "Listen... that's how they sounded like when they were doing it."
"Hey maybe they're gonna do it now." whispered the boy.
"Let's go play hide and seek!!"
"Okay, you're it!!"
Gohan finally learned about the facts of life, and where babies really come from. But the fact of the matter was that this event had marked his life forever, and now he was afraid of getting near any girl... Find out what happens next on the next exciting chapter of The Life Of The Z Warriors Uncut!
A/N: yay, I got two reviews!! thanx so much, i'm happy!! XD oh, and if you noticed, i stole a couple of lines from the simpsons. so, i don't own that either... oops...