"House, I know you want me to lay off, but this is ridiculous."
"What I want has never stopped you before," House said, staring at the TV in the corner.
"Have you looked in a mirror this morning?"
"Mirrors are for wimps."
Wilson sat in the chair across from House, slamming his tray down on the table to make the other man flinch.
"Look, I feel fine," House said, almost groaning. "I am 47 years old, you know. Ugliness kind of comes when the years pile up."
"Is this about your last patient?" Wilson asked, ignoring House's lame excuse.
"A homeless kid with Lupus who died of anaphylactic shock. Boo-hoo. Runaways die every day and I don't lose sleep over them. I don't know why you keep bringing that up."
"Because I think it might be affecting you, especially since his death was so mysterious. All of this started the other day when he died."
"What do you mean by 'all of this'," House said before taking a slow bite of his burger.
"Oh, let me think," Wilson said sarcastically.
House wanted to retort, but was interrupted when he noticed a familiar face getting food with a couple of other women. Wilson noticed House's distraction and turned his head to investigate.
"Oh no," he groaned as he spotted the object of House's stare. "House, don't do anything. Please, for once, leave Lucy alone."
"Don't worry, Jimmy. She's used to it by now. If she were as normal as you say, she'll be fine."
Wilson put his face in his hands and let out an audible groan. "Now I'm convinced. You were emotionally stunted at 17."
The medium-sized young woman with brown hair and aquamarine scrubs was walking and talking with a few other nurses while carrying her empty tray. Even though she did seem to know House was there, she was trying her best to ignore him and carry on with her companions.
As soon as the trio got within a close enough proximity to their table, House shouted, "I thought you nurses had your own cafeteria to go to."
Lucy gave the man a confused look, trying to hide her worry that he was telling the truth.
"Didn't you use that little joke last week?" said the Asian looking girl who was with her.
"It's not a joke, it's a fact. Hospitals still think 'separate but equal' is constitutional, you know."
"Did you get any sleep last night, Doc?" said the other girl who seemed to be shielding Lucy. "You look like Death Incarnate."
"My words exactly." Wilson confidently said. "He had a nightmare."
House furrowed his brow and gave Wilson an "I'm gonna kill you" look before turning his attention back to Lucy.
"Aww," Lucy said in a babyish voice, trying to push past her friends. "Are there monsters in wittle Gweg's cwoset?"
House brought an open hand down to the table with a bang, one that startled Wilson and made Lucy nearly jump out of her skin.
"I had a creepy dream and when I woke up, my leg hurt," House said with a very forced calm in his voice. "Like I told Wilson, it's no big deal." The last three words came out of his mouth very slowly, as he began to stare down Lucy's gray eyes. "I'm pretty sure there is a special place in hell for people who make fun of cripples."
"Hey, I was just asking," Lucy said nervously before giving an "I'm okay" nod to the other girls. "I have to get back to work. I'll see you guys later."
After she pushed through the crowd and scampered off in the direction of the exit, the two nurses gave the older doctor icy stares.
"What? Is it wrong for me to get upset when people offend me?"
"Asshole," said the Asian nurse before they both ran off in the direction Lucy fled. After Wilson saw them leave, he turned to House and gave him an even icier glare.
"House, you didn't have to…"
"Your new nurse has Asperger's Syndrome," House interrupted.
Wilson could not help rub his face in frustration. "Not this again. She does not look like she has AS."
"Everybody acts. You know that Jimmy."
"I thought everybody lied."
"Acting and lying are one and the same, especially when you have a mental deficit. Besides, she wouldn't be able to lie for fear of God striking her down, so she has to act."
Wilson rolled his eyes before deciding to humor the man "What did you see her do this time?"
"It was the way she flinched when I banged the table. She is definitely more sensitive to loud noises than you and me."
Wilson started shaking his head. "You scared the crap out of her just to test your theory?"
"She also is failing to tell when I'm messing with her, even though I have done it many many times in the past several weeks. Plus, even when people do get angry they don't run away like they're about to meet the fate of Bambi's mother."
"You are such an ass," Wilson said as he began to gather up his tray. "You're just trying to turn her into one of your puzzles for one of your twisted reasons."
"What do you care about her, anyway?"
"Because if you let yourself, you just might like her. From what I can see she's practically a shy version of you."
"She 'practically' autistic."
Wilson sighed and stuck up a middle finger, slightly shocking the other man.
House would never consider Lucy a knockout, even though he would never say she was ugly. Her olive skin seemed to be immune to acne when seemingly every other nurse in the building had it. Her auburn hair was always tied back in an uncomplicated ponytail, a sign that her hair was not a huge issue in her morning routine. She rarely wore makeup except for a dash of mascara and occasional lip gloss, and she did not wear jewelry, with the exception of studded earrings and the small purity ring on her left ring finger. Her fingers were long (and in House's opinion, perfect for the piano), but the area around her fingernails was red and irritated, probably from a bad habit of chewing the skin. Also, judging from her seemingly endless supply of gum and aptness to knaw on every pen she held in her hand, the chewing habit did not stop with her own body parts.
She was smart, though. Of course, not nearly as smart as him, especially judging from her blank looks in any non-medically-related conversation he saw her engage in. However, she did know her stuff about religion. House's initial disdain for her beliefs gradually turned to something resembling respect as he began to become acquainted her point of view, which was not really different than that of his Presbyterian mother. The difference was she could definitely defend herself logically, and all of his objections did get acceptable answers from her. It was the one thing House had ceased to pick on her about, mostly because he got no pleasure in being shot down or finding a reason to give her respect. House never thought he could respect anyone who was religious and relied on blind faith to support their beliefs, but Lucy did not rely on blind faith. She relied on what she saw as "evidence" of her faith's validity. To House, that was certainly an improvement on most religious people, but he still thought she was crazy. In his opinion, the Ku Klux Klan could also give good evidence for what they believe. It did not mean it was true.
"I'm probably going to go catch up with Lucy so she knows you're not really mad at her." Wilson sighed.
"She shouldn't need you to figure that out," House said.
"Everyone is different, House," Wilson said. "But one thing we all have in common is that we deserve respect."
"Aww. I think I feel a tear coming on." House said while making a few over-exaggerated sniffs.
"Hey, you lay off Lucy, and I'll think about laying off you about the leg."
House sighed, nodded, and started to place his own garbage on Wilson's tray. The younger man sighed before surrendering to his friend's laziness and helping him gather more waste.
"Ow," House said as he jerked back his hand.
"What happened?" Wilson asked, confused. "All I did was brush your hand, unless you've now willed yourself to be physically allergic to human interaction."
House rubbed his hand, lost in his thoughts and completely ignoring Wilson.
"House? Hello?"
"Huh?" House said looking up to meet Wilson's concerned eyes.
"What's the matter?"
House looked back down toward his hand, which was now starting to turn red. It was also beginning to sting, almost as if he had touched a hot kettle rather than his best friend.
"Nothing." He finally said, knowing he was not convincing at all.
"Sure," Wilson sighed, knowing he was not going to get any more out of House right now. "I'm going back to the hotel tonight, but do you want to watch movies or something later?"
"And give you more opportunity to play either Freud or Mr. Rogers? I'll pass."
"Suit yourself." Wilson sighed before walking away from the man whom he was now more worried about than ever.