Warning: I did change the rating on this story to M. Things get a little heated in this chapter, and there's some swearing, but nothing too graphic.
Ron didn't get escape retribution as easily as Hermione did. Lavender had him sleeping on the couch for at least three days before she 'found it in her heart to forgive him'. Lav had shared with Hermione that Ron was such a loud snorer that she had to kick him at least twice a night to get him to shut up, and was planning on using the three days to catch up on beauty sleep. Personally, Hermione figured that 8 hours of uninterrupted, kick-less sleep was more a gift for Ron than a punishment.
It was funny, though. She hadn't noticed any snoring on her birthday.
But she wasn't supposed to think of that.
Lavender must have come to the same conclusion as Hermione, though, because she signed them up for the thing Ron would probably hate the most: dance lessons. They needed to take them anyway for the wedding, so it might as well be now. But Lavender wouldn't tell Ron that- best to just remind him who was boss.
"Wow, Lavender. That's…rather evil." Hermione smiled and shook her head.
"I know. He'll hate it. It's perfect."
"Well it sounds like you'll have a good time at least."
Lavender's malicious grin suddenly turned a little guilty. "Oh…well…you will too, actually."
Hermione blinked. "Sorry?"
"I know I didn't warn you, but the offer was for two couples."
"Lavender, I'm not a couple." It almost physically pained Hermione to have to admit it out loud.
"Oh, I know. That's why I signed Seamus to be your partner. He's single too."
Hermione opened her mouth but no words came out. "Seamus Finnigan?"
"Of course, Seamus Finnigan. How many Seamuses do you know?"
"Just the one, but…"
"Oh come on, Hermione. He asked me to set you two up at your birthday. What could be more romantic than dancing lessons? Seamus is hot. You can press up against his body! He'd probably even let you grab his arse."
Hermione blushed violently. "Lavender! Like I'm going to do any of that! Alright, I'll do these dance lessons with him, but I can't promise anything will come of it. I've never really thought about him like that."
"Hermione, you probably haven't even really talked to the guy since Hogwarts. Trust me. He's… matured a lot since then. Besides, you can't afford to be choosey. You're thirty now."
Hermione decided to ignore the jab at her age and was surprised to find that Lavender was right. While Seamus still cracked the occasional perverted joke, he was funny and sweet (she never thought she'd say that about Seamus Finnigan), and she was generally enjoying the dancing lessons with him.
Good lord was the situation uncomfortable, though. It was the first time Hermione and Ron and really interacted since their ill-fated lunch date – not a date, Hermione corrected in her head – and they were horribly awkward around each other. Lavender didn't seem to notice, but to Hermione's amazement, Seamus did.
"What's up Weasley's arse today?"
She looked over Seamus' shoulder to where Ron and Lavender were trying to learn the waltz and shrugged. "I don't know."
"Really? Because you're acting a little weird today, too."
Hermione mentally took back what she had thought about Seamus being sweet and just crooked an eyebrow at him. He laughed.
"Oh you know that's not how I meant it. You two have never been this quiet around each other, even after Lavender and Ron started dating. Um, the second time. What's going on?"
Hermione spit out the first thing that came into her head. "We're fighting." At least it was believable.
"You seemed all right at your birthday party. What are you fighting about?"
"I don't even remember." Still believable.
"Well then, let's just forget about your fight and upstage the happy couple with our amazing dancing skills."
By the end of the night, Hermione was glad that she had trusted Lavender's judgment. Not that she'd really had a choice, but that was beside the point. She had a lot of fun dancing with Seamus, who, surprisingly, was quite light on his feet. He made her laugh with his jeers at Ron and Lavender's attempts, and it had felt good to be in his arms. While she hadn't pressed up against his body or grabbed his arse, she was definitely considering a second date.
If this even counted as a date.
Screw it. For the first time in her life, she wasn't going to fuss over details.
"Seamus!" she called toward his back. He turned and strode back to her with a grin on his face. "I was wondering if you'd like to get a drink sometime?"
"Why, Hermione! Are you propositioning me?"
"I would appreciate it if you wouldn't take the piss while I try to ask you out." She smiled.
"Love to. Go out with you, that is. I'll owl you? I'm late."
"No problem. We'll figure something out soon."
She was having lunch with Harry a few days later when she decided to bring it up.
"So guess who I have a date with this weekend? Seamus Finnigan."
"Jesus, Hermione, if I'd known you'd lowered your standards, I would have set you up with some of the blokes I work with years ago."
"Stop it. He and I were paired up as the second couple in Lavender and Ron's dance lessons, and I actually had a good time."
Harry practically spit out his sandwich. "When did Seamus Finnigan learn to dance?"
"Well he took Lavender to the Yule Ball, didn't he? She's not exactly the type to let her date sit down."
"That's funny, I never pictured her to be high maintenance."
Hermione laughed. She knew she shouldn't say anything. She shouldn't. But she couldn't stop the words from tumbling out of her mouth. "You're right, she is. I know she's my best friend, but it's the truth. That's why it surprised me when she and Ron got back together. I never thought he was the type of guy that was into girls like that." Hermione looked up at the ceiling. What was she doing?
Harry eyed her a little warily, but agreed.
Hermione could feel the questions coming. "Well he's happy now. That's all that matters."
Harry nodded again, but seemed a little unsure. He stayed silent for a few moments.
Hermione tried to pull him back into conversation. "So what was so important that we had to meet for lunch? Not that I mind, it's great seeing you, but usually you eat lunch with the Aurors."
Harry's expression brightened and he reached into his pocket. "I needed to tell someone and I know Ron can't keep a secret to save his life."
Wrong.
"Alright, so what is it?"
Harry handed her a velvet box. She opened it to see a gorgeous engagement ring glinting back at her.
"Harry, I'm flattered, but don't you think Ginny will be a little upset?" He snatched the ring back and she smirked. "I'm kidding. It's absolutely beautiful. I'm so happy for you!"
"I know it's a little soon since Ron just proposed a few weeks ago, but it just feels like the right time. I just want to be with her."
"Really, I think Ginny will be the only one that's surprised. We were all just waiting for you to grow a pair."
He scowled. "I think Seamus is already rubbing off on you."
Hermione thought she would never see the day. She was honestly enjoying her date with Seamus. They had gone to a Muggle amusement park, of all places. As Ron and Lavender were both purebloods, and since Harry had never really had the chance to experience fun in the Muggle world, it was rare to be on such an outing. She laughed as Seamus explained the difficulties of having a Muggle father and a mother who was a witch as they stood in line for the Ferris Wheel.
"Mam told him a few months before I was born. After they got married, though. I'm not sure how she managed to keep it from him for so long. That's why he was so upset. She says he disappeared for a few days after she told him, but he came back. Said he loved her and that they could move past it. I'd catch him waving her wand around every so often, trying to get something to happen. Poor bloke. Almost took his own eye out, once."
Their turn came and they clambered into the passenger car and sat down. She felt herself slowly rising as the wheel turned, the car swinging to a slow stop near the top. She felt Seamus looking at her, so she turned her head and saw him slowly lean in.
The moment was perfect. They were kissing at the top of the Ferris Wheel, and he was funny and handsome, and his eyes were a very pretty brown and the color of his hair didn't make her eyes hurt if she stared at it for too long.
And it was all so wrong.
She didn't feel anything. Nothing. Actually she felt a little pain because his five o'clock shadow was growing in with a vengeance and it was rubbing her skin in the most uncomfortable way. God, she was thinking too much. Maybe if she just relaxed, she could enjoy it.
Relax. Don't think.
Bloody hell, this wasn't working. She pulled away.
"Blimey, Granger, had I known you kissed like that at Hogwarts I woulda been all over you!"
She smiled back at him, unsure what to say. The Ferris Wheel finished it's rotation and they climbed out. "I'm feeling a little queasy… I think the food here might have done me in. Mind if we cut tonight short?"
"Only if you promise to make it up to me by coming out with me again." He smiled and they left the park.
Hermione had gone on two more dates with Seamus. She knew she was being a horrible person for stringing him along, but hell. She was a horrible person already, and she needed to get over Ron. Maybe spending enough time with Seamus would do the trick.
She and Seamus were attending Harry and Ginny's engagement party together. Harry had finally gotten the nerve to propose, actually being cut off by Ginny's resounding "YES" before he could even finish his prepared speech. Everyone found them to be the most sickeningly adorable couple.
"I'll go get you a drink." Seamus disappeared to Harry and Ginny's kitchen, leaving Hermione to fight her way through the crowd in an attempt to find a familiar face. It seemed the Chosen One's engagement was turning into quite a big to-do.
Ron and Lavender appeared in the crush and she pushed toward them. Lavender was talking with some of her coworkers at Witch Weekly and Ron was standing around looking bored. She tried to ignore how good he looked.
"All right?" she said breathlessly. "I had no idea there would be this many people here."
"Reminds me a bit of your birthday."
Hermione's eyes flashed to Ron's, surprised that he would make a comment so closely related to something they had promised to never speak of again.
"Tell me about it." Harry appeared next to them. "I just wanted a small party. Friends and family only. People just keep showing up!" He made a frustrated sound in his throat and took a sip of his drink.
"Well just imagine how the wedding itself will be! You'll need bouncers!" Hermione laughed.
"Believe me, I plan on it. I'm going to go search for my fiancé. If you don't see or hear from me in two hours, I'm stuck in a corner somewhere with some complete arse-lickers who won't let me leave the conversation. Come save me."
"Anything you need, Chosen One!" Ron called after his retreating back.
"Hermione, you look so pretty in that dress!" Lavender had finished her conversation with her coworkers and had turned to say hello.
"Thanks, Lavender, that's nice of you to say."
"…Well? How do I look?"
Hermione rolled her eyes a little. "Gorgeous, as always, Lav."
Lavender smiled and patted her hair. "So I heard you and Seamus went on your third date. How'd it go?" She nudged Hermione's arm and winked.
"Fine…stop it, Lav, why do you keep elbowing me?"
"Oh, you know. How'd it go?"
Hermione felt Ron stiffen slightly. "The date was fun. I don't know why you keep looking at me like that."
"Come on, Hermione! It was your third date!"
She slowly glanced toward Ron and then back to Lavender. "I'm not following."
"Good lord, Hermione, how would you have ever survived dating without me? The third date rule. Where you put out at the end of the date. So how was he? I heard he has a huge cock."
"Lavender, cut it out," Ron broke in.
"Ron, I am her best friend. I have the right to question my best friend about her sexual experiences…"
Seamus finally found her – what perfect timing – and together they abandoned the arguing couple.
It wasn't until a few hours later, when Seamus had run to the loo, that she saw Ron again.
He walked up to her, frowning. Unfortunately, at the same moment, someone behind her jostled her so hard that she spilled her drink all down the front of her dress.
Ron grabbed her hand and dragged her to the kitchen. "Come on we can wash it out."
"Ron…I have my wand. It'll be fine." He ignored her and continued pulling her behind him.
The room was almost empty except for a few stragglers who were wandering around in search of drinks.
He started frowning at her again, and she felt a spark of irritation. "What? Why are looking at me like that?"
"Did you sleep with him?"
Hermione was taken aback, cocked her head, and decided she wanted to be angry. She was going to ignore the little thrill she felt- he was jealous! "Excuse me? What right do you have to ask me that?"
Ron looked around, noticing as some of the people around turned their way as her volume increased in preparation for an argument. So he grabbed her wrist again, this time pushing her into a broom cupboard.
"What do you think you're doing!" Hermione was livid.
"Did you sleep with Seamus, or not?" Try as they might to keep their voices low, they were Ron and Hermione and their arguments were not meant to be had in hushed whispers.
"No. Is that what you want to hear? Are you happy now? I can't even kiss him because of one stupid kiss in a cab with you that had no meaning because you're engaged..."
He cut her off. He seemed to be making a habit of it
And she absolutely loved it.
It was the complete opposite of that first date with Seamus. They were in a broom cupboard, and she had a drink stain growing cold down the front of her body and he was engaged to her best friend. Everything was wrong. But this feeling was irresistible and she just couldn't stop.
Suddenly, her knickers were down and Ron's fingers were inside her. The breath caught in her throat as she lost all feeling in her legs, and all she could concentrate on was how fucking fantastic it felt.
"Oh God." She wasn't even sure who had moaned it. There was a frenzy of activity as they attempted to shed their clothing as quickly as possible.
Someone giggled outside the door and they froze. The handle slowly turned and Ron unceremoniously shoved her into the darkest corner of the cupboard. She tried to silently dress without drawing attention to herself.
"Shhh…we have to be quick. The people here are going to start noticing if we disappear for too long…" The door opened and Ginny was cut off by the sight of her brother, standing in nothing but his pants with his trousers bagging around his ankles.
"What are you doing in here?"
"Bleedin' hell, Harry, what are you doing here?"
"It's our flat! We can be wherever we want to be!"
"Jesus! You two were going to shag in a fecking broom cupboard! That's disgusting!"
"Bloody hypocrite! You were halfway into shagging in a fecking broom cupboard!"
Ginny piped up. "Be quiet, you lot, or we're all going to get caught. And now none of us will be getting any. You can come out now, Lavender, there's no use hiding- we caught you."
Hermione had no choice but to step out of the shadows.
Author's Note: I really wanted Hermione to respond with "That's what she said" after the last line of her and Harry's lunch conversation, but I thought she'd be the kind of person who would turn her nose up at such undignified bile. So I put it here, proof that I am not. McEs.