Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I just play with them. \
She steps off of the raptor onto the docking bay of Temptation. Leoben stands as he sees her and walks swiftly up to gather her in his arms. He breathes her in and sighs. Knowing someone is alive and holding them are two very different feelings he thinks before releasing her.
"Nice work on the jump guys." She says. They grin at her.
"Wish we could have seen you fly." Skid comments. Kara looks at her, she rarely comments on any topic.
"Maybe you can come see the gun film. It should be developed by tomorrow."
"So what happens to all of us now?" Copper asks.
"I'm not really sure. Evidently there was a lady who was sworn in as the president so she and the admiral will be deciding what happens. For now we keep our haul but the fleet will be dry before long and that will sell for steep prices so I'd like the haul rationed."
"How was flying?" Hammer asks.
"Great. And on that note I need to talk to my husband." She says pulling him by the hand. There are cat calls and Kara grimaces wishing she was dragging him off for what they were thinking. When the hatch is securely closed she turns to him and he is on her. He presses her against the hatch, pressing his lips against hers. She responds and lets him carry her to the bed. After a moment she breaks away and looks at him, knowing if he continues she won't remember why they need to talk.
"Leoben, we need to talk." She says the four deadly words of any relationship.
"Uh-oh." He says moving to sit on the bed. "That phrase is almost never followed with something good."
"Well it's good in a way." She bites her bottom lip. His face falls.
"They've reinstated you." He says hollowly.
"Yes."
"And you said yes." He makes it a statement. She nods. He moves out of arms reach. "I understand in some ways, in other selfish ways I don't understand this at all." He moves back to kneel at the side of the bed. "I love you. I now flying makes you happy. I just don't want to wake up without you." He says softly and puts his head in her lap. She strokes his head and sighs.
"Well technically you can come stay in the bunk room but there will be about 13 other people there." She says.
"Um, no thanks." He says looking at their bed and around their quarters. "I can hold down the fort." His eyes drift in and out of thought. "How will I get to see you?"
"You're welcome to visit Galactica any time there is a raptor in the area. I should have one day off a week to come home."
"Kara." He admonishes knowing she'll never have a day off. After a long silence Kara speaks.
"I'll work to get us a place on Galactica if you'd like?"
"Yes, I'd like that." He pauses. "Why do you have to do this?" He asks suddenly lifting his head and taking her hands in his. She looks down into his grey blue eyes and sighs.
"You know why." She warns. She doesn't like where this conversation is heading.
"Say it." He pleads. "I need you to say it."
"Because I need to kill something to make this feel better. Because I need to hurt something for killing your family. Because I need to feed the vengeful side of my psyche right now." She grits her teeth as she admits to feeling murderous, even if they are just toasters.
"Thank-you." He says putting his head back down in her lap.
"Don't you feel the same way?" She asks pulling his head up so she can look into his eyes.
"Absolutely. I just don't know 15 ways to kill a man with a chopstick." He looks at her seriously for a moment then breaks into a grin at his joke. "Just bare with me for a while. It may take me a while to adjust to having you off ship again." She nods.
"I'll miss you." She says quietly.
"I'll miss you too." He moves up to kiss her and rolls them both onto the bed. They lay facing each other for a long while. Leoben moves his hand across her cheek absentmindedly as he tries not to think about how little he'll see his wife.
"Well I should go tell the crew." She sighs. Leoben joins her. It takes a while to round up the whole crew. They look at her expectantly.
"Well, this is really hard to say so I'll just blurt it out. I've been reinstated in the military." The crew collectively frowns. "I used to be a flight instructor, which is what I will be doing onboard Galactica. They don't have anyone else at this point."
"What happens to us then?" Hammer pipes up.
"Copper will be your captain. I will have more chances to interact with the admiral and president on your behalf than any other ship in the fleet. It could be a huge benefit, as long as I don't abuse it."
"What happens with Leoben? Will he go with you or stay here?" Music Man asks.
"I'll be staying here for now." Leoben says. They all look shocked at that. The captain and her husband were nearly inseparable since they'd been married.
"You guys can come visit every now and again."
"Will you get leave?" Skid asks.
"I doubt it, but maybe eventually." She sighs heavily. "Well I have to report back to Galactica in an hour." She turns to leave the mess. Hammer comes up and hugs Kara, then Skid and before she knows it her entire crew is surrounding her. She smiles and tries not to lose it. They eventually release her and move off to continue their jobs on the ship.
Kara trudges back to her quarters to pack up a little stuff with Leoben hot on her heels. She realizes she has hardly anything to pack. A deck of cards, a tooth brush, her scriptures, a picture of her and Leoben on their wedding day, a hair brush, and some under garments. Her bag looks woefully empty as she pulls the draw string shut. Leoben pulls her into a hug. She presses her face against his shirt and breathes him in.
"Can I have this?" She asks pulling at his shirt. He smiles.
"Only if you trade me."
"But mine won't fit you."
"So?"
"Alright." She strips her tee shirt off and hands it off to him as he does the same. She shoves it in her bag and moves to get another shirt.
They walk slowly back to the docking bay where the raptor is waiting for Kara. She hugs Leoben one last time and kisses him passionately. They both know that every time she goes out in her viper to kill cylons she might not come back; neither of them voice this.
She gives him one last lingering look before closing the hatch and moving to pilot the raptor back to Galactica.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two months later…
Kara stands at the front of the briefing room staring at the newest batch of nuggets. Frak they're young, she thinks to herself. They had started off with forty recruits and only ten had made it through boot camp. Lee hadn't wanted to force the nuggets to do boot camp until Kara pointed out how much force they would be putting on their bodies while flying a viper. Some of the recruits that hadn't made it to vipers had made it to raptors. They were in Athena's class.
She smirked as the nuggets sat and waited for her. Today they were going over the basics of how a ship flew. Some of them already knew but she doubted that many of them had ever piloted hands on since almost all ships were hands free. Some of the nuggets started to whisper between themselves.
"Excuse me? Would you like to share that?" Starbuck asks.
"No sir." The young man says seriously.
"I'm sorry did I imply you had a choice recruit?"
"I was just wondering when we were actually going to get to fly, sir."
"Petty officer Marker, can you tell me the four principles flying?"
"Thrust, pitch and roll, sir."
"I asked for four. And that's why you won't be near a viper in a very long time."
Most of the rest of the class was spent going over the principles of flight and how they affect the movement of the viper. After a few hours the class was dismissed so they could report for more basic with Commander Adama. She sighed and got ready for CAP. She was flying with Minus today. She smiled at the thought, he'd calmed down a lot since their initial meeting.
The first few hours of CAP were delightfully uneventful. Starbuck and Minus bantered back and forth about the up coming Triad tournament later that night. As they were completing a rotation at the far end of the fleet Starbuck picked up motion on her dradis.
"Galactica, Starbuck. We've got a squadron of cylon raiders inbound." She reports to the battleship.
"Affirmative Starbuck. Launching all squadrons. Two minutes to intercept. Fleet status green. Fleet to commence jump in one minute." Petty officer Dualla's voice chimes in her ear. "Hold 'em off as long as you can. Good hunting."
"Will do. Starbuck out." She says. "You ready for this Minus?"
"Always." He states moving to her right.
"Bet you I'll get more than you."
"What are you betting?"
"Latrine duty for the next week."
"You're on." Minus says.
They're on an even kill count when another squadron of cylons jumps in. "Oh frak." Starbuck swears as she is in the middle of the squadron. She barely has time to shoot the cylon right in front of her before it runs into her.
"I don't think they expects us." Minus comments blasting through a few more cylons. The raiders scatter as they realize the enemy is in their midst. Starbuck follows two as they sprint off towards the fleet with the last few ships prepping to jump. She swears and accelerates as fast as she can. She takes one out but the other has time to launch missiles before she gets it. She tries desperately to catch the missile. She manages to hit it and it explodes but is too close to the Olympic Carrier. The shrapnel slams into the Carrier.
"Frak! Galactica, Starbuck. One of the raiders managed to get a missile off towards the Olympic Carrier. I got the missile but the shrapnel still impacted the side. Send help when we've all completed the jump."
"Rodger that Starbuck." Galactica confirms. The other squadrons have now joined Starbuck and Minus. Two minutes later they're recalled to prepare for jump now that the fleet is away.
Once back on Galactica Starbuck and Minus report to the CAG's office to give report before they've even changed out of their flight suits. They'll have to write up their combat report later but with casualties they have to report verbally first. Starbuck grimaces knowing the casualties are her fault.
"Sir." Starbuck and Minus say in unison standing at attention just inside the CAG's office.
"Report." He says sternly.
"One squadron jumped in at the far end of the fleet. Engaged the enemy successfully keeping all raiders away from the fleet. Second squadron of raiders jumped right on top of us. Two jumped in behind us. I pursued and got both of them but not before the second one launched a missile at the Olympic Carrier. I managed to hit the missile but the shrapnel hit the Carrier, sir." Starbuck reported since she was the senior officer.
"Where were you?" Commander Adama turns his attention to Minus.
"Engaging the other cylons in the squadron. Those two were the only ones that jumped in behind us. Starbuck was in pursuit. No reason to follow her and allow more raiders to get closer to the fleet, sir." He said, taking a tone with the uptight CAG.
"Sir, how many casualties?" Starbuck asks.
"Four civilians." He says clenching his jaw. "You're supposed to be paying attention, not betting on who can kill more cylons." He shouts at them.
"Sir, the cylons jumped in behind us. What exactly were we supposed to do?" Starbuck retorts. He's pissed her off now, which helps with the guilt.
"Be better pilots!"
"Frak you Lee Adama. I'd like to see what you would have done." He steps up nose to nose with her. "You think you could have anticipated that another squadron would jump in? You psychic now? Can you make your viper accelerate faster than mine? Can shoot straighter or better than I can? NO YOU CAN'T. So I ask again, what the frak would you have done differently?" She steps into his personal space more than he already has stepped into hers. They stare at each other for a moment.
"Minus, you're dismissed." Lee says quietly. "And shut the hatch." Minus leaves his CO and Starbuck, closing he hatch. He thinks about listening and then decides he might end up in hack if he gets caught so he goes to hit the head.
"You're grounded, Starbuck." He says just as quietly.
"Fine, you're the CAG."
"Damn right I am. You don't get to tell me to frak myself in front of anyone. No I take that back, you don't get to tell me to frak off at all."
"Then don't question my decisions in front of anyone. You know full well there wasn't a damn thing Minus or I could have done better, sir. You go watch the gun footage and tell me how close I came to running into a frakking cylon that jumped right in front of me. You tell me exactly what I was supposed to do sir. I was commanded to engage the cylons. It didn't say anywhere that I had to save every last person in this fleet." She was very angry now. "We're at war. I didn't do this. If you want to be mad at someone, fine just don't make me an escape goat."
There was a knock on the CAG's door. "One minute." Lee shouts. "You're on twelve hour maintenance starting, oh now. When you're not on maintenance, you'll be teaching. Is that understood, Kara?" He throws her first name out like it's a swear.
"Sir, yes sir." She steps back and salutes.
"I want that report before class tomorrow. Dismissed." He says moving around to sit at his desk again.
Kara passes by one of the raptor pilots when she exits. She doesn't bother to get cleaned up since she'll be elbow deep in grease in a few minutes. She stalks off to find the deck chief.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile Leoben finds himself listening over the wireless to a patient. When word got out that there was a psychiatrist on the Temptation calls started to come in almost constantly. He was writing down the latest problem one of the fleet captains was having with her crew when he was blinded by a sharp pain behind his eyes.
"I'm sorry Captain Julia. I'm going to have to cut this short, we're getting a transmission from Galactica." He lies. She hangs up as does he. He clamps his hands on either side of his temples and squeezes his eyes shut just before he blacks out.
Hours later Leoben wakes up on the floor of his and Kara's quarters on the Temptation. He flexes his body, feeling that everything is different. His eyes seem to move faster than usual. What the frak, he thinks to himself. He gets up off the floor and reaches for the glass of water sitting on bedside table. He flexes his grip around it and it shatters into little pieces, some of them embedding themselves in his hand. He stares down in shock as the blood starts to ooze out of the cuts. He pulls the shards out and goes to find some bandages.
Before he can find bandages, he starts to hear voices in his head. Thousands of voices. He can't concentrate. He sits on the bed, not caring that he's getting blood everywhere. Suddenly one voice becomes very clear.
"Come home to us Leoben." The voices whispers as though someone is right next to him. He flinches and looks around the room. No one is there. "We will come for you. You will be one with us again." He realizes the voices sounds like his own, when he's heard recordings of himself. He flinches inwardly. What had Kara told him last month? The cylons looked like humans now. His stomach churns and he empties the contents of his stomach on the floor. No! He thinks fervently. "Yes." Say the voices collectively inside his head. "I'm human!" He screams.
"No you're not. You've known all along." The voices chime.
"I'm hearing things. I'm lost in space, my wife is on another ship and the reality of the annihilation of my species is just catching up." He says out loud.
"You were a key part in that destruction. Or at least your model was, perhaps not you in particular."
"Oh gods." He whispers. "I wouldn't be part of it. My family, my friends. No, I don't believe it." He gets up to clean up the mess he's been making, trying to distract himself from the voices. He puts the bandages on and paces in the small space. "What am I going to do?" he whispers.
"Come home."
"I am home."
"No you're not." He squeezes his eyes shut and tries to drown out the voices with his own thoughts. Thoughts about Kara, about his family, about enjoying Caprica. It doesn't work. He lays down on the bed and curls into a ball.
He stays that way for days.
Finally Hammer calls Kara.
She notices the smell first as she enters the room. He hasn't moved for days, not even to eat or go use the facilities.
"Copper, Hammer. Help me lift him so I can get rid of these sheets." She says pulling two of her old crew into their quarters. The hold him up as she pulls the sheets off and takes them to the incinerator. "Thanks." She says when she returns. "If you'd leave us now?" she makes it a question instead of a request. They frown but leave nonetheless. She pulls him into a sitting position and pulls his shirt off, then works his shoes, socks, underwear and pants off. She puts everything in a bag and ties it off leaving him naked on the bed while she takes the clothes to the incinerator. When she returns he is curled in a ball again. She sits him up and slips an arm around his waist as she pulls his arm around her shoulders. She stumbles to the bathroom and leans him against the cold wall as she turns the shower on.
She tries not to think about the fact that she'll enjoy a hot shower. Its too hard with him as comatose as he is. He blinks at her, and that's the only way she knows he actually isn't in a coma. Once the water is warm, she steps into the shower, holding him around the waist. She can't hold him up and wash him at the same time so she lowers him to the floor of the shower, leaning him against the wall. She kneels down with a wash cloth. She moves the wash cloth up and down his body, scrubbing every place she can reach.
At some point she begins to cry and she's not even sure what happened to him. He's usually so strong and steady, the thought chases its way across her mind. What the hell happened? She thinks. She moves to sit in front of him in the shower. He blinks at her.
"Leoben?" She tries, no response. "What happened?"
He is looking at her and hears her but the voices in his head drown out so much of what she says. The look of concern worries him but still he cannot force his body to react. He's numb. Completely numb. He blinks as the water is getting into his eyes and says nothing. His body screams for hers and still he cannot move. He feels broken, hollow, empty, lost and even the site of her does little to comfort him.
She places her hands on his shoulders and shakes him. Still nothing. She washes his hair methodically, keeping the bubbles from running into his eyes. She stands him up to make sure all of the soapy residue slides off of him before she turns the shower off. She sits him back down and steps out of the shower to find a towel. She comes back and towels his hair off first before moving the rough cloth around his back and down his arms. She lifts him again and moves him out of the shower. She manages to make it to the bed before collapsing. She moves the towel down his legs and dries the rest of him off.
"You're still wet." He comments absentmindly. She's not even sure he's aware that he just said something.
"I don't care." She whispers. She slips pants and a shirt on before moving him to the floor so she can flip the mattress. She moves to the closet to get another set of sheets before she moves him back to the bed. He stays sitting and she nods noticing the slight improvement. "I'm going to go get you some food." She says smoothing her hand down his neck. She leaves him naked on the clean sheets and goes to the mess.
"How is he?" Hammer asks. Copper and Floyd try not to pay attention and fail horribly.
"I'm not sure. He doesn't respond when I speak to him. I'm hoping a little food and water will help with that." She moves around the mess. "Do we have oat meal or something he doesn't have to chew?" She asks. Copper moves to get a pack of rationed oatmeal. She sighs and prepares it, then takes a glass and fills it with water. "Thanks for calling me. I've told the commander I'll be here until further notice."
"They let you do that?" Hammer looked at her incredulously.
"Let might be too strong of a word." They all look at her with their mouths open.
"What are they going to do? Kick me out? Fat chance. I might end up in hack for a few days. Been there, done that." She moves back to their quarters.
Leoben is still sitting up on the bed when she enters. She almost smiles until she realizes that he has tears streaking down his face. She moves onto the bed and behind him, wrapping herself around him.
"Tell me what happened." She whispers stroking his hair. "You can tell me." She says soothingly, moving around to face him with the bowl of oatmeal in her lap.
"Too much, too much. Can't say." He rambles. She takes the spoon and pushes it past his lips. She watches as he swallows the oatmeal and tries another bite. After twenty minutes she has forced most of the bowl and all of the water on him. He begins to cry afresh as his eyes focus on her. She notes that he is actually taking notice of her.
"I love you." She says.
"I l-l-love you." He says between sobs. She nods and moves her arms around him.
"Tell me what happened." She says again. He nods then falls back onto the bed, taking her with him. Before she realizes it, he is asleep. She sighs and snuggles close to her husband, taking in the scent of his clean skin. She closes her eyes and tries to sleep; it doesn't come for a very long time.
Leoben wakes the next morning staring at his wife. The voices have a hush over themselves. He sighs, and accidentally wakes her. Her eyes fly open at the sound of someone in bed with her. She looks into his blue eyes and smiles, then frowns remembering the previous day.
"Hi." She says.
"Hi." He says back.
"How are you?"
"Better." The silence stretches on. Kara doesn't want to push him back into the comatose state he was in.
"What happened?" She asks moving her body closer to his. He feels her warmth and wonder if he gives off the same warmth. How could he? If he's a machine, how could he give off heat?
"Can you feel the heat of my body?" He asks.
"Of course." She states, puzzled that he would ask such a question.
"Kara, I…I don't know where to start."
"Ok." She says shrugging. He looks into her eyes and stroke his hand across her face, afraid that it will be the last time he's able to do so once he admits what he has come to understand about himself.
"A few days ago I got off the wireless and a migraine hit me. I blacked out for a while."
"Oh." She says, not knowing where he is heading with the story.
"That's not the end." He states. They lay in silence for a very long time. He sighs and continues. "When I woke I went to pick up a glass and it shattered in my hand."
"Ok." She says unsure of what response she should have.
"And then the voices started." He gasps out.
"What voices?" She looks suspicious. Perhaps the head shrinker has finally lost it, she thinks briefly before squashing it.
"My voice, only a thousand times over." She looks puzzled still.
"What did they say?" He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, not prepared to admit this yet but knowing he has to.
"That I'm a cylon." He says opening his eyes, looking her in the eyes the whole time. She gasps.
She lays there feeling as if he had stabbed her in the heart and pinned her up on the wall like people used to do with insects. She gasps as the impact of his words fall on her. He's a cylon; she tried in her own head. She shivers and convulses. She gets up off the bed and out of his grasp.
"No!" She whispers. "You can't be. You cry, you laugh, you love me, you married me, you want kids." He doesn't even sit up. He just lays in the bed, still numb. She climbs back onto the bed and rolls him over to face her. "You can't be." She whispers shaking him slightly.
"Why?"
She bends over and hugs him and whispers against his neck. "Because I love you."
"Even now?" His voice holds wistfulness but not hope. Hope would be too much to ask. She clings to him, a million thoughts coming to her. She has to report this, has to. The voice inside of her screams. She holds him tighter.
They lay there for hours and at some point they both fall asleep. He wakes up after a while to find her staring at him and tracing the lines on his face. He smiles briefly before the voices invade again.
"She is part of your destiny." They say.
"I don't believe in destiny." The thought comes.
"That's alright, we believe it for you." They say.
"Leoben." Kara says, noticing his eyes are unfocused. He looks at her. "I have to go back to Galactica." She pauses and bites her bottom lip. "And I have to take you with me." She breathes.
"What, why?" The voices in his head cry.
"I understand." He says solemnly.
"You do?" She asks.
"I'm a security risk. Who knows what I am capable of doing without my knowledge." He looks lost. "I can break a glass with my bare hand; I have no idea what else I could do." She nods and realizes that she is scared of him. After all the years they'd spent together fighting, loving, getting on one another's nerves she's never been afraid he could do anything to her she couldn't handle, until right that second.
"I have to contact Galactica." She sighs as she pulls a new shirt on. She goes over to the wireless and picks up the phone.
"Stop her. Stop her before it's too late. This isn't foreseen in your destiny. STOP HER!" The voices bellow inside of his head. He grimaces but moves to the closet to get dressed.
"Yes Galactica I need to speak to actual." She confirms as she watches Leoben move back to the bed. He sits with his hands in his lap and his head down not looking at her.
"Galactica actual." The admiral's voice comes over the wireless.
"Sir, I have a military situation that has arisen over here."
"Could you be more specific?"
"Sir," She starts and falters. "Sir. I found a cylon sleeper agent." Just saying it out loud gives her chills. Leoben lifts his head and looks across the room at the woman he loves, tears springing to his eyes. "I need an escort back to Galactica but I don't want to alarm the crew here."
"The marines can stay in the raptor." The admiral says. "As long as you can get the agent on board without a fight."
"I don't think that will be a problem sir."
"Who is it?" The admiral asks.
"My husband." She states.
"Oh gods, Kara." He breathes. "We'll send a raptor out immediately."
"Thank-you sir."
"Galactica out." The admiral says.
TBC... Getting angsty here.