"I'm sick of talking about this!" Kara vents at the onboard counselor. "I just want to be cleared for flight status."

"Is that truly what you want Capt. Thrace?" The older man asks serenely. His name is Gil Tantum, but everyone calls him Pops. Kara hates it and made it known she wouldn't call him that if it were the last thing she did. She was stuck under his evaluation for the next month before she could be cleared for flight. If I get cleared, she amends inside her own head.

"You know what I truly want? I want peace. I want a place to call home. I want my husband to not be a cylon. I want to fly. And I want to stop having to see you every frakking day for the next month!" She yells.

"Have you discussed your desire for your husband to not be a cylon with him?"

"Since it's at the top of his wish list too, yeah I have."

"Have you discussed with him what it was like to watch him die over and over?" This is the part of the conversation everyday that Kara shuts down and stops talking, which might be why she has to see Gil for the next month.

Today is no different. She crosses her arms and sits back in the chair, indicating with her silence and her body that this conversation is over once again. Now she just has to sit and stare at Gil for the next 2 hours.

Kara sighs with relief as she is released for the day. She returns to her small quarters to find Leoben on the floor with star charts all over the small space.

"What's all this?" She enquires as she takes off her jacket and boots.

"Comparative analysis of scripture and star charts."

"Ah." Kara says as she sits on the floor with him. "When you're done we need to talk."

"Uh-oh. Didn't I ever tell you those are the most dreaded words in a relationship?"

"You have. I still like the dramatic effect." She grins at him. "I'm going to take a nap." She gets up and makes her way to their bed.

A few hours later Leoben hasn't moved from the star charts but Kara feels better from her nap so she decided to approach the touchy subject that Tantum had brought up that day. She knew they needed to talk about it but for once the psychologist wasn't pushing the subject, probably because she'd scared him. He would avoid a subject if he didn't feel comfortable with the reason it was occurring.

"Leoben?" She reaches out to brush a hand through his hair as he sits on the floor a short distance from the bed.

"Hum?" He says not really giving her his attention. She tugs slightly at his hair and smiles sadly as he gasps and turns to look at her. "Sorry. What were you saying?" He asks realizing his mistake.

"I haven't said anything yet but I'd like your attention for this. Would you come sit next to me?" There isn't anywhere else to sit in the small room besides the bed. Leoben gets up and joins Kara. She lets out a big sigh as she starts.

"We need to talk about how I felt about watching you die over and over." His eyes widen at her statement. She never wants to talk about her feelings, he thinks. The thought must have come across on his features because she smiles ever so slightly. "I know. I'm volunteering for this."

"I must be rubbing off on you." He smiles a little too. She inhales sharply before addressing the issue.

"Having to watch you die the first time, when I thought I'd lost you forever, was hard but having to repeat that nightmare over and over and over…I'm not even sure I can express how it made me feel. " Leoben notices she's taking small short breaths. He inches closer and takes her hands in his.

"I'm here now. You can tell me."

"I started to resent you, for being a cylon. For putting me in this situation, even though I know it's not your fault. It made me feel helpless that I couldn't save you. I can still hear the noises your neck made when it cracked. I can't get some of the noises out of my head." She tries to move her hands away but he just keeps holding them.

"I'm sorry." He says after a long while, not knowing what else to say.

"It's not your fault. And I didn't tell you to make you feel guilty but I, we, need to address this before it eats me up inside and I can't function or worse I can't love you any more. I don't want to resent you."

"Do you resent me now that we're back with the fleet?"

"No but I do resent myself and you for not freeing us sooner."

"We also need to talk about that."

"One trial at a time. I don't want to try to deal with everything today. I saw the fear in your eyes, I know you need to tell me how what I did to free us made you feel but let me deal with this today and we can deal with that either later today or another day that you've predetermined."

"Wow, I don't think I've just rubbed off on you. I think I've become your patient now." He smiles sadly, and then nods. "Alright we'll talk about that aspect another day. Today we need to work on how to get you to not resent me for being something I can't control and I don't really want to be."

"I know you don't. That's part of what makes this all so confusing. I don't want you to be a cylon, you don't want you to be a cylon and the damn cylons keep chasing us."

"Well, I can't change what I am obviously, since I would have changed that immediately. So how do I help you get past what they did to you by using me? And I think part of the resentment is because you don't want to have anyone they can use against you like they were using me, am I right?" She just nods. "I can't predict the future, so I can't tell you that they'll never try to use me again." He watches a pained look cross her face, then her face sets into a scowl. "Oh no you don't. Don't you dare." He says realizing that he just crystallized the easy solution.

"Why not?" She damn near growls. He pulls her hands towards him wrapping her arms around his neck and crushing her to him. She looks angrily into his eyes and scowls even harder.

"Kara Thrace I did not die all of those times to make it back to the fleet to have you leave me."

"But it would protect you."

"You mean it would protect you." She starts to struggle against him. He tightens his grip fractionally before releasing her. She gets up off the bed moving as far away as the small room will allow. "I love you." He says as he stays sitting on the bed. She nods fractionally. "Please stay." He whispers. She doesn't move towards the door but she doesn't move back to him. "There's another way to ensure they can't use me like that again." She looks at him. "Destroy the master resurrection hub."

"That only solves the problem of them killing you repeatedly. They can still use you against me."

"You can't protect everyone you love all of the time." He states. "Believe me, I'd love it if you never flew a viper again but I can't ask that of you. But it makes my heart stop every time they launch the alert fighters."

"I didn't say this was a rational fear. And I'm not even sure how to face it. It's not like being afraid of snakes so someone tries to desensitize you to them. This is a fear of you dying. A fear of being alone in the universe."

"Falling for me was a big step." She looks at him puzzled. "You opened yourself up again. To be able to love again was a big step." She sighs and looks at him. She can't honestly think of leaving him but it makes some sort of sense to her addled brain. She unfolds her arms and moves back to the bed. She reaches out to touch him.

"I don't know what to do."

"Give it time." He says moving closer to her. "Give us time. We've made it this far." He wraps his arms around her waist.

"Alright, but only because I find you unreasonably attractive." She laughs as he begins to tickle her. They leave the other part of the conversation for another day.

A few days later Leoben's analysis of the star charts turns up something interesting; by connecting the vague references to the thirteenth tribe to constellations there seemed to be a path. Kara convinces the Admiral and President to listen to his analysis. By the time he is finished the admiral looks skeptical and the president looks pensive.

"Thank-you." The president says tightly. "We will of course have to check these findings with our own scientist and theologians."

"I understand." He says. "Thank-you for listening to the ranting cylon." He smiles and turns to leave. The marines don't shackle him any more when they move him through the halls.

"Captain Thrace, a word." The admiral says as she turns to leave. Kara turns and stands at attention.

"Sir?" She asks.

"We have decided to allow you to transmit the jump coordinates and we'll see how long this armistice lasts."

"Thank-you sir."

"Did they have a plan for beginning any treaty talks?"

"No but I told them that the president was looking at peace talks before we jumped to Ragnar. If they don't attack for a while I would suggest allowing us to begin peace talks."

"Kara, please sit down." The president offers Kara a chair. Kara sits, looking and feeling a little confused. "I have a few off the record personal questions." She inclines her head and looks at Kara before speaking, "Captain, how do you feel about the cylons?"

"Um…I hate them." Kara shrugs.

"But you love your husband?"

"I do."

"How do you differentiate them?"

"Leoben's never exhibited any profane behavior like the cylons. He isn't creepy or forceful. I just don't think of him as a cylon most of the time."

"When do you think of him as a cylon?"

"When he resurrected close to 20 times. Watching him die and keep coming back definitely engrained in me that he's a cylon."

"How do you deal with that?" The president looks very confused.

"One day at a time Madam President. It's very difficult sometimes. Other times it's just like it never happened. I dunno. Why sir?"

"If we want to open up peace talks we'd like it to be you." The admiral says directly.

"What? Why?" Kara is completely shocked. "I'm not sure I could do that."

"But you can look at your husband and see a man. We're hoping that you're able to at least see the other cylons as humanoid enough so that you can convince them to stop attacking us." The president elaborates. Kara just gapes at the two leaders of the fleet. "Please think about it Kara." The president says touching her hand lightly before getting up to leave. They leave her there gaping.

After a few minutes Kara gets up to return to her and Leoben's quarters. He's asleep when she enters but the door doesn't really close quietly, so she accidentally wakes him when she closes the door. He wakes with a start and rolls over to look at her smiling slightly.

"What did they need of you?" He asks not getting up, just lounging in bed by himself.

"They want me to be the cylon ambassador." She states. He looks as shocked as she feels.

"That's odd." She nods in agreement and pulls her boots off before climbing into bed with him. He curls his body around hers. "Do you think you'll accept it?" He whispers against her neck.

"I'm not sure. I'm not sure I could be peaceful…ever. Not just to the cylons. I think they've put too much faith in me because I've adjusted to you being a cylon."

They fall asleep like that and Kara misses her appointment with Tantum. When she wakes she realizes she missed her appointment and swears but doesn't get up from bed.

Leoben wakes to the sound of a soft "frak" that falls from his angel's lips. He smiles to himself realizing that she's missed her appointment. He holds her tighter, letting her know he's awake.

"Kara?"

"Mmm?" She says closing her eyes.

"We need to talk." He says softly. Her eyes fly open and she glares at him. "Ok I need to talk to you and I need you to listen." She snorts softly. "Please." His eyes beg her to listen. She nods slightly rolling on her side towards him. "When we were leaving the base ship, when you managed to get us out of there, you really would have killed yourself wouldn't you?"

"Yes." She whispers as though it's a secret. He closes his eyes and rolls onto his back. She reaches out to touch him.

"Don't." He says loudly. He opens his eyes and rolls his head to look at her. "Don't try to make it go away."

"Tell me how it made you feel." She states withdrawing her hand. She wraps her arms around herself.

"It made me feel hurt and lonely and like I don't know my wife after four years together. It scared me that you'd take it that far with me watching. It made me wonder if you truly could love me if you could kill yourself to end your own pain."

"That's not fair." Kara whispered. "I love you."

"Then live for me. If I, no, when I die promise me you'll live for me." He makes it a statement, leaving no room for argument.

"I Promise." She sighs heavily. "But you need to promise me the same thing."

"Absolutely. You know it's much more likely I will go first."

"We don't even know if you can die permanently."

"If I'm not near a hub I won't come back."

"But if you are you can come back to a new body even after your current body dies of old age."

"There's no point to me sticking around if you're gone."

"Now how is that any different than what I did?" She pouts.

"I said of old age. I'll have led a full life by that point."

"But..." He rolls towards her and places a finger over her lips.

"I love you. And you promised."

"Fine." The one word falls like a swear from her lips.

TBC...

A/N: The story is finished and onto editing. I will try to post it all as soon as possible.