A/N: Just to be sure – this chapter takes place in December 2000 but I didn't exactly take in consideration all the episodes between then and the Tangent.
Thank you for your reviews! I will post the lyrics / author's notes chapter soon, I promise. Consider this story as finished… although I admit there is one little thing forming in my head, begging to be written as soon as possible, hehe… :o)
And I am sorry for the delay, I had some troubles with my internet connection… but as an apology you're getting an extra long chapter, haha :o) Yeah, it got a bit out of hand… but well… couldn't help it! So enjoy it! :o))
Weeks and months went by and suddenly it was December. And what a lovely December it was indeed! The weather had finally stopped playing tricky so it was one lovely winter in Colorado Springs. Snow everywhere, sky was blue through the day and really cloudy through the night, the breeze was light so the air was pleasant to breathe and besides the sun was shining almost every other day. And with temperatures being, well, moderate, this was one good winter! It was definitely better to be just normally cold that incredibly freezing, right?
In SGC it was hard to tell whether it was December or July outside the mountain. Every single person had the same outfit. Well, okay, maybe not the same, uniforms were green and blue, Air Force and Marines, then some white doctor's uniforms but in the end, sooner or later, they all would wear the same – the SGC uniform. Usually green, occasionally send-ish yellow or black but those were rare exceptions.
And so it almost happened! They almost missed the Christmas! Few teams stuck on other planets, some people voluntarily staying on the base because they had no families to be with and their friends were there with them – in the SGC. And some people just managed to forget that something like Christmas had ever existed!
However bunch of people with Janet leading them, had decided to do something about that. So little Christmas tree was in the commissary, there were small decorations everywhere, too small to bother and not small enough to be overlooked. And what more, there was one thing in the infirmary and another one placed in the elevator. It was Cassie's idea actually and people seemed to love it. SGC original Secret Santa. It was fun and it allowed all those people to see something pretty in their days, something cute and most of all, something that was just theirs.
Some nurses were trying to place few twigs of mistletoe into the corridors, into the elevator and then at some places where everybody would have to go sooner or later. However the rumor mill was too powerful to be fed with something like innocent kisses. Well yes, this was a military facility but some things were even more powerful and dangerous here exactly because of that little fact.
Fortunately nothing that would have to be reported had happened… or simply wasn't reported, that was hard to tell.
And so the time went on and the end of the year was approaching. And with that there was another event on the horizon.
Since the age of fifteen Sam had never actually celebrated her birthday. Maybe she was sixteen? She couldn't recall anymore. For a few years after her mother's death they had tried to pretend, to be a family but it didn't work out that well. So then she just stopped celebrating the birthday. It was just a day among others. She would remember her mom, her family, she would try not to be too sad or depressed. When she was twenty she had figured out something. Working was the best way how to survive the birthday. She would just bury herself in work, in something she loved and that could always give her some sense.
Working in the SGC had changed things a bit. The first year Janet had brought her a cupcake. She received a double-pack of blue jell-o in the commissary. She suspected that also was Janet's work. The second year was probably the worst one. While explaining things about the Earth culture, well, the American culture to Cassie she had mentioned the birthday. And so in order not to break the little girl's heart she had to celebrate them. Thankfully Janet had talked to Cassie and so in the end the celebration was just a cake and a movie over at Fraiser's place. But it was a beginning of one revolution in Sam Carter's life.
Somehow, slowly, Sam had come to agreement with herself when it came to her own birthday. But no matter what there were things she would always miss on her birthday. Her mother's smile, her special cake in bed, the birthday present she would always hide somewhere or leave somewhere so Sam would find it on her own… and not so surprisingly, among other things, there was one very important to her that was missing in her life and on her birthdays. Her father.
So just try to imagine her big surprise when they'd received the Tok'Ra IDC just few days before her birthday. Her hopes just kicked in when she realized that this had been scheduled by the SGC. They were cooperating on one project and their allies were supposed to contact them either now or in three weeks. Obviously, they managed now.
She went to the control room.
"What do we have?"
"It's confirmed, Ma'am, it's the Tok'Ra."
Hammond appeared behind them and smiled at her.
"Open the Iris."
"Sure, Sir."
She opened the Iris and soon one person stepped through the event horizon. And she couldn't help it. She had to smile. Genuinely. Broadly. It was her father!
Without waiting for the approval of her CO, she just went down there. And then she surprised everyone including herself by giving him one huge bear hug. Did she really miss him that much? She couldn't tell. She was just so damn happy to see him.
"Dad!"
He hugged her back, equally as surprised and equally as happy.
"Hey, kiddo. Everything okay?"
"Sure, I'm just really glad to see you."
He gave her a pointed look, obviously not believing her but not trying to question her. Hammond came down there to greet his old friend.
"Jake."
"Hey George."
"Good to see you."
"Yeah, it's good to be back on Earth."
"Ha, you missed your old good planet, dad?"
"Sort of…" And the grin spoke for itself.
"George, can we talk? I have some news and results…"
"Sure. Let's head upstairs."
And so together they went upstairs. And after some small talk Selmak took over.
"Greetings, friends."
"Selmak! Hi."
"Jacob believes I am more qualified to speak of this matter. As you are probably now aware, I was among those that had started working on this project many centuries ago. If I may, I shall ask for the presence of your Doctor, Janet Fraiser. Her view, opinion and bright mind had been of great help to us."
"I'm sorry but she's not here."
"She's not presented?"
"No, she's on vacation with her daughter. They left few days ago."
"Very well then, we shall continue without them and she will be given the report, if that is okay with you, General."
"Sure, that's great."
"Let's begin."
And so they spent the next hour, maybe more, talking about one project about a cure to some certain diseases that could be very dangerous to the host. Janet had been helpful indeed and the allies were grateful.
After the debrief there came the moment Sam would always dislike.
"So when do you have to go, Jake?"
"Actually if it is okay, I have few days…"
"Few days?" Sam asked, surprised, thrilled.
"Yeah."
"You know what, Jake? Lemme just get the papers ready so you can leave the base."
"Papers?"
"I'm sorry but you know how it is. Besides you could use some clothes. Can't let you walk around Colorado Springs dressed like this."
"Sir?"
"Just go, Sam and keep an eye on him."
"Thank you. And I will."
And with a smile the General had walked away. Jacob smiled at Sam. She asked him about a dinner and he could only agree. He was hungry!
And so they went to the commissary. It was half empty. They got their meals, Jacob took a bowl of red jell-o and Sam had her usual blue one. And so they talked and it was fun and they were more than just comfortable.
It used to be surprising to both of them. They could really talk to each other, they could be spending time together, laughing together, he would stay over at her house if possible and they would hug and share little secrets. It was difficult to grasp at first but now they could both enjoy it. Part of it was the whole Tok'Ra experience, part of it was the circumstances but the main part was them – both of them. Father had found a way to his daughter. And the daughter had found her way to her father. And it was one of the best things that could have happened to them.
"So… you have any plans for tomorrow evening?"
"Tomorrow evening? No, why?"
"Nothing planned? No mission? No team night?"
"No, guys are on Arta Ricordi."
"What?"
"That's a planet we've visited some time ago. They are peaceful, simple, very kind. They have some amazing ways of growing vegetables. We're trying to trade with them."
"So why aren't you there?"
"Oh… that." And she was sure that the wave of hot she could feel creeping up her cheeks was making her blush. Yeah, great.
"Sam?"
"They have this shield protecting the main city. It was a gift from their ancestors."
"Goa'uld?"
"No, definitely not. That technology is pretty advanced."
"And you are not there trying to study it?"
"No. There's nothing to study. We didn't find a generator or a control panel. We have nothing. Just the shield. And we had no idea about that till… ehm… "
"Sam?"
"It affects the brain chemistry of females from Earth…. Well maybe from other planets too but we cannot know that. The last time we went there my brain chemistry got a bit messed up. So now Arta Ricordi is labeled as one of those men-only planets."
And she knew her father would ask. Hell everybody would ask! And what was she supposed to tell him? That she hadn't realized a thing till it was too late? That she tried to walk around half naked dressed in a t-shirt she had found earlier in her CO's bag? Or that she had tried to dance in the middle of the biggest square in the city with flowers in her hair? Or that Daniel and the Colonel were laughing all the time, trying to figure out what to do with her? Or that in the end she had simply fallen down to the ground, giggling and that Teal'c had to pick her up and in a fireman carry take her to the Gate to salvage at least a bit what had been left of her dignity? Well yeah, explaining this to one Air Force General would be surely fun.
Jacob was thinking… well more Selmak was thinking… "My friend, I've heard of that place before. It changes the female brain chemistry indeed. We haven't figured out which races are to be affected yet. And before you ask, no, I do not know how exactly the brain is altered. So I cannot help you think of something that could have happened to your daughter."
"So that means you are free tomorrow evening?"
"Yes, I think so… why?"
"Because I want to take you out." He said with a grin. And shocked her speechless.
"Dad…?"
"Well I missed Christmas…"
"Dad, it's okay."
And from her look suddenly he understood that she had had a nice Christmas. And from the gentle blush he could also tell that there would always be things he wouldn't be told. And surprisingly, it was all okay with him.
"Come on, Sam! It's your birthday tomorrow…"
"Oh… OH. So that's why you thought about … dad…" Of course he would ask about her friends and team first. But from the look he was giving her she could tell that he was excited about the idea.
"Are you going to tell no to your own father?"
"What? No, of course not."
"So…"
"Yes, sure, dad, tomorrow is just fine. But it's Friday and I gotta work to do… but is dinner okay?"
"Yeah, dinner is okay. I'm looking forward to some rest and oh TV would be nice… and I could kill for a steak with fries." And that grin again. Sometimes he would remind her of one other Air Force officer that was in love with steaks and fries.
They stayed on the base that night, it was better than the alternative. Besides this way Jacob could be sure that Sam wouldn't work late hours tomorrow and would meet him on time.
He was surprised that George had found some time for him. The two men spent main part of the day together, catching up on old times.
And it was a good day for all of them.
Sam was in her lab, working, thinking, smiling at her memories, enjoying every single minute of waiting for the evening. She was really thrilled that she would be with her father. And the fact, that it was her birthday, was just a little bonus, a cherry on the top of one huge cake. Oh and for some time now, she could definitely enjoy a good cake.
She was abruptly disturbed from her thinking by somebody knocking on the door frame of her lab.
SG-1 was back from their mission a bit early. All the possible talks had been made, new alliance created and there was nothing left for them to do there so they agreed on coming back early. This time not even Daniel had tried to protest. Oh yes, they all knew that one special person was having her birthday.
And so when he could, he went to her lab to see her. And he saw one happy woman, humming softly, tapping her fingers on her table, smiling. She seemed to be … content, no, more than that.
"Sir!"
"Hey, Carter…"
"You're back?"
"Yes, see this time it was no fun… so we decided to head back early."
"Sure, Sir." How dared he grin at her like that?
"And wow, Carter, lemme tell ya, we leave you alone for two days and you manage to find yourself a date?"
"Sir?"
"And shouldn't you be getting ready by now?"
"Sir?" And her eyes becoming wider and wider were too cute to resist.
"The whole base is busy talking about you and the mysterious date of yours… and you are still in your lab?"
And it took her a moment but in the end she had figured it out. He could pinpoint that moment to the exact second thanks to her shining eyes. She ducked her head for a moment but then gave him the famous Carter glare.
"How do you know about that? Really, sir?" For a moment he thought he was in troubles but she kept on smiling… that had to be a good sign, right?
"I met your dad."
"You did?"
"Yeah, I did. We had a nice little chat…"
"About?"
"Well he told me … in very few words that if we were planning on surprising you with cake, flowers and presents, we should wait till tomorrow's afternoon because you have some plans for this evening already."
And her giggles told him that he had just said the perfect thing. It was so easy to make her giggle and laugh sometimes. She was a constant surprise, sure, but some things had been pretty clear.
"You should go and change…"
"Sir…"
"Come on, Sam! This outfit is so not what you are supposed to wear for a date."
"They're not? What's wrong with the BDU?"
And that tone she used made him grin. He was a bad influence obviously. But with a nod and a smile Sam left her lab, went to take a shower and change and then met her father right on time.
The dinner was fun. Her dad had made reservations in her favorite Italian place. It was a small restaurant and she had fallen in love with it the second she saw it. Typical Italian place with white tablecloths, soft music, perfect wine, pasta, sauces, baguettes and oh their cheeses were delicious! And so they talked and so they had fun, it was a very nice evening.
"Sam, this is for you."
Jake said over the dessert, which was one special exquisite Tiramisu, and gave her a small box.
"Dad…."
"Open it." And his look left no space for arguments.
"Okay."
She was very unsure about what to expect. But she opened the small box and found a crystal there. She took it into her hand and noticed few things. It got warmer by her touch for example. And there was a little cut on the front of it, barely noticeable.
"Dad is this what I think it is?" She couldn't believe it!
"Yes and no… it is one of our crystals. But this one was changed. You can say that it … grew in the lab. It was actually Martouf's idea…"
"It's… oh dad…" She was near to tears.
"If you have the protein the crystal will get warmer in your hand. It's small enough to fit into one of the pockets in your BDU so you can have it with you whenever you want. And you can also use it as a photo holder so it won't get suspicious…"
Her eyes were shining with tears. She thanked him and put it into her purse. It made her happy and proud and feel things she wasn't sure she wanted to feel.
"I know it's not much but there is not much I can bring…"
"Dad, it's more than enough, it's brilliant. I love it."
And so they talked some more and had more fun. And when it was getting late, they went home. Jacob would be staying in her spare room. It wouldn't be the first time. And hopefully not the last one either. He had some clothes and toiletries there, all nice and set.
In her living room, in the middle of her table was a flower. And right next to it there was a small dark blue box. Small box. Jacob wanted to go and search the house but she calmed him down.
"It's okay, dad…"
"You sure?"
But she just smiled at him and sat down with the flower in her hand. It was a beautiful bright blue flower, like the summer sky, like a clear mountain lake water, something between lily and rose, soft and with a very nice smell.
"Do you know what this is?"
"I have never seen it before."
"I have… on one planet. I couldn't keep my eyes away, the flower had completely gotten me. And it had no name. Colonel O'Neill told the locals that they could name it after me because I had obviously fallen for it…"
"So…?"
"So this flower is called Samanthia."
"Somebody brought this from that planet and put it into your living room?"
"Yes… " And she knew he would deserve an explanation but she had a pretty good idea about the origin of her present.
She didn't tell him one thing. On their way from the planet she asked her CO why he had suggested her name. And after he stopped trying playing numb he just smiled sheepishly and told her "it's the same color as your eyes when you are excited about something…". And if she knew him at all her guess would be that her CO had brought it for her.
She took the box and opened it. And she gasped. She found a pair of earrings there. She wasn't sure but they looked like being made from white gold. And the little stone there could as well be a diamond. They were shaped as little stars. They were elegant, gentle and very light. They were delicate and absolutely … perfect.
"Wow… Sam… they are beautiful."
"They are… oh yes, they are."
And despite the fact that her hand was shaking, she reached for the note. And she could only smile then. She was near to laughing out loud and to crying as well.
"Sam? What's written there?"
"It says… it says happy birthday lovely little star named Samantha."
"Oh…"
And neither knew what to say. She kept on playing with the box, Jacob was watching her, trying to grasp the situation, to understand it all. But it was very difficult for him.
Sam was overwhelmed, shocked, happy and feeling some very inappropriate feelings, having some very inappropriate thoughts.
"Sammie? You okay?"
"What?"
"You okay?"
"Yeah, dad, I'm fine. Well, no, maybe I'm not… but yeah, I think… I don't know..."
He just glared at her with the "stop messing with me" look in his eyes. She just sighed and leaned back on the couch. In a moment she was laughing softly and crying almost silently. Jacob had no idea about what to do. His daughter was obviously confused and overwhelmed, thinking way too much, still holding the little box.
She looked at him then, knowing she should at least try to explain it to him. She didn't want him to get the wrong impression. She couldn't wipe the smile from her face and she couldn't stop the tears from falling down her cheeks.
"Dad…"
"No, shh… you don't have to say a word, kiddo." And he just caressed her cheek. He could smile at her, try to reassure her but he knew there was little he could actually do.
"Sammie, I'm not going to ask, okay? At least not yet. Right now I think I don't want to know a thing. But… just try to remember that I am not stupid, I am not blind and I am not deaf, okay?"
"Dad…"
"Sam I know it's hard to believe it but I know you, you are my little girl, my daughter. And I know you."
And she could only smile and nod and lean in for a hug. He held her and then after a moment decided to say the last thing he wanted her to know, for now.
"I trust you, Sam. I trust you."
And he was hoping she would get the point. And well, she got it. She held onto him and knew that she had her beloved daddy back in her life.
"I love you kiddo..." He whispered.
"I love you too, dad." She whispered back, surprised by her own emotions.
Jacob got up and was about to walk away but then he stopped dead in his tracks. There was one thing on his mind. He wanted to tell her but was unsure about all the 'ifs'. But then Selmak just nudged him to speak his mind and be faithful to his own heart. And so he turned back and looked at his little girl how she was smiling and crying and trying to survive her own pain mixed with hope and all the other feelings she had to be feeling.
"Sam… if there is a person on this planet … or in the universe, that deserves to know why you hadn't joined the NASA, the real reason behind it, it's the one who gave you the earrings, the one that knows your favorite childhood story and that can understand... completely." He knew he had emotions in his voice but for once he was not ashamed of it.
"Dad…"
"Good night."
He said, kissed her hair tenderly and then he left her sitting in the living room in her dark violet dress, holding an alien flower and pair of beautiful earrings. Crying.
"I'm proud of you, my friend." Selmak said.
"I just hope they know what are they doing…" He said back.
Sam had no idea about how long she had been sitting there, holding her presents but eventually, still with tears on her cheeks and smile on her face, she went to bed. Her heart was filled with hope and pride and some silly pain but generally she felt happy.
In the morning Jacob was up early, sitting in the living room, watching TV. That was heaven! Sam got up soon after him and they had a nice quiet morning. Around ten she was still dressed in her purple top and pajamas pants but she felt amazing! Well, and then somebody knocked at her door.
She went there to open and saw the craziest thing there. Well at first she was attacked by one tiny body.
"Happy birthday!" Cassie squealed and almost knocked the wind out of her.
"Cassie! Janet! What are you doing here?" Sam asked, too happy to keep the grin off her face.
"Surprising you, maybe?" Janet teased her.
Her team was standing there at her doorstep along with her best friend and the little girl. She couldn't believe it! Jacob came there and smiled.
"Hey! I thought I said around two PM?" He joked.
"We couldn't wait, General Carter. We wished to come sooner to have cake with you and your daughter. We decided to take you to lunch if you agree. All to celebrate her birthday."
Jacob just smiled and looked at Sam. She nodded and let them all in. It was a bit twisted but they had the cake in the morning. Jack promised another one for the afternoon which made Janet laugh and Cassie squeal. She had fallen for cakes as well. Talk about bad influence.
However Sam got a bit surprised by the one they were having now. She tasted it and it seemed familiar. And then after few moments it hit her. This was the cake her mom used to bake for her. The taste of white chocolate and almonds, the cream. She couldn't believe it! Her father seemed to be absolutely cool with it. She suspected he was the one responsible but… she wasn't really sure.
They spent the day together and it was fun. Watching TV, playing games, chatting, laughing, having lunch together… If Sam could have asked for a perfect birthday, this would be very very close. Some things had been missing… but she was grateful anyway. She knew she couldn't have everything. And this was more than she used to be hoping for.
She got lots of cute and funny presents and she was really happy about them. She was however surprised by the package the Colonel had for her. She thought there would be nothing given from his side… not after … well if it was him who had given her the earrings.
Anyway, he gave her large package of glow-in-the-dark stars. Daniel was thrilled about those, telling them his few childhood stories and making them all laugh. The second thing Sam found in the box from Colonel O'Neill was can of paint. Fluorescent paint. And new set of brushes and gloves.
"What's this?"
"It comes with the thing that looks like a map…"
"A map?" Cassie asked. Sam looked curious and reached for the paper.
"I'll be damned! It's one huge map!"
And when she unrolled it, she was even more shocked than before.
"Sir!"
"Sam what is it?"
"It's… geez it's the map of the Gate Network … among all."
"Cool! Can we paint with the color on your ceiling or something?" Cassie asked.
"Cassie!" Janet tried to warn her.
"She's clever…" Jack supplied.
"That was your intention?" Sam obviously couldn't believe it.
"Sure thing Carter! When you get hurt the next time and the lovely doc here forces you to stay home, you might have your Stargate System painted on your ceiling…"
And others smiled and laughed and joked…
"Is this against the rules?"
"Having painting on your ceiling? Naaaah..."
"Jack..."
"Don't worry Jacob, Hammond knows. It's okay."
Jack had to assure him. The concern was actually nice in the end. But really, there was no need to worry. To strangers it would look like a ... jibberish.
Sam was happy, enjoying the time with her friends and family, and then she got it. It was not about paintings and about being bored while being injured. This was more. This was her childhood coming back to her, soothing her and making her feel better. And the worst thing? Well it was actually the best thing as well… the Colonel knew very well what this had been about. It was his intention… he knew her way too well.
The rest of the day went by and it was a good day. They had fun and more fun and more cake.
Janet and Cassie left early, they were both tired. Sam thanked them and hugged them and actually she was really happy to have them. Besides birthdays could be fun with the right people, that was for sure.
The next two to go were Daniel and Teal'c. Jack wanted to join them but Sam asked him to stay for a minute. Their friends just nodded.
"You have your truck here anyway… see ya on Monday, guys. And happy birthday, Sam."
"Thank you…"
Jacob was listening to this, trying to figure out what to do. And with the help of his friend, little Selmak there in his head, he managed to find the best possible birthday present for his little girl. Maybe one of his stupidest ideas ever but maybe, just maybe, one clever one.
"Good night, Daniel. Teal'c. I'll stay here in the spare room tonight, please can you tell George and your SFs that so nobody would be worried?"
"Sure, Jacob."
"Good night." Teal'c said and then closed the door.
Daniel was thinking really hard. Did just Jacob … ? Really? Just like that? Wow. He knew the man was a good one but this was a lot more than he would suspect. It was about his daughter after all. But well, as a birthday present it was good. It was better than good. It was brilliant.
In the meantime inside the house Jacob just left. Jack was still standing there, trying to understand.
"Carter is it just me or did your dad just…"
"He did."
"Oh."
"Sir…?"
"Yes?"
"If you are uncomfortable and want to leave, just go." She offered him a way out.
"And if I am comfortable?"
"Let's sit down…"
And so they sat down at her couch. The silence was a bit strange, filled with anticipation and something … thrilling. Sam kept on playing with the hem of her blouse while Jack kept on staring at his shoes.
"This is ridiculous…"
"I agree, Sir."
"Okay… so what's up?" He asked and she could just grin at him. Sometimes he just couldn't be patient. But well… neither could she.
"I just wanted to thank you…"
"Think nothing of it, Carter."
"No, Sir… Thank you." And she put a strong emphasis on those words. And then he understood. And his heart fell down to his feet. This was not right… he wanted to see her with those earrings, he wanted to tell her so much and he couldn't. And maybe he would never be allowed to. This was all wrong and he knew that they would have to do something about it. But not now. Not yet. Later.
"You're welcome, Sam."
And so she just leaned closer and put her head on his shoulder. For a brief second he was tensed but soon she could feel him relaxing. And so they found a comfortable friendly position on the couch. And this time the silence was the best possible one.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure…"
"Whose idea was the morning cake, Sir?"
"Hm… collective?" He tried...
"Yeah, and you think I'm gonna fall for that, huh?" She teased him.
"I was hoping so…"
"Sir, please."
"Well the cake, that was … geez, Sam."
"Come on." She couldn't believe he would be that nervous… or could he be?
"Two years ago we all got a bit … lightheaded from the spicy stuff from P9X something. And we were talking a lot."
"I remember that."
"You told me about some cake, about what you liked about it. And so when your father stopped me and wanted to talk to me, I asked."
"You asked?"
"Yes. And so he wrote down the recipe and yes he simply knew it. The rest was easy."
"And why did you bring it in the morning?" She had to know, she just had to know.
"Cassie was thrilled to see you…"
"Sir…"
"Okay okay… but just because it's your birthday party, okay?"
"Sure…" And she giggled. He was incredible. Just playing difficult…
"You told Cassie about the cake your mom used to bake for you. And that you would usually have it in your bed. And … I had the cake… so finding you at ten in the morning in your pj's was luck but a good one this time."
She looked at him and dared to kiss his cheek. His heart was beating faster but still it was in the perfect sync with hers. She leaned into him then again and snuggled closer.
"Thank you."
And he knew there was nothing left to say. They had done it. They had broken the rules. Maybe not by doing something … intimate but on the other hand right now he was feeling more intimate than he had been in his whole life. Having Sam in his arms and talking to her about something so personal made him feel really special. And foolish.
They both knew what this meant. They had both fallen for each other. And they had decided not to do a thing about it. They decided to wait. They wanted to wait. But there were moments where they could only wish that the war would be over in few hours. Like now.
"Sir… there is something I would like to tell you…"
And he understood that this was it. It was her biggest secret, the number one on her list of deeply hidden truths. And he should have been thrilled about it, he knew. But he wasn't thrilled. He wasn't even happy. The level of her deep trust was hurting him, making him crave things that were out of his reach… and yet sitting next to him.
"Sam…"
"Please Sir, I want you to know. You don't have to say a thing, okay?"
"I'm not worried about that…"
"It will probably change your opinion about me… there is a reason why nobody knows."
"Carter, don't…"
And then she looked at him. And the silent plea in her eyes made him want to do something very inappropriate. He wanted to hug her, to hold her and to make all her pain go away. And that was just wrong! But he was her friend and he couldn't make himself just turn around and walk away. Deep down he knew she needed to talk about it. He knew it. He had his own deep secrets and he was aware of the tiny little fact that he had started to crave the possibility of sharing them with somebody that might actually understand.
"I'm so sorry…."
He said and brought her into his arms. And so he hugged her and she held onto him. And after some time she just made herself comfortable and told him. She told him everything. And he just held her. And it should have felt wrong and against the rules but actually nothing had ever felt better and more right in their lives than this.
Jacob was pacing the spare bedroom, trying not to think about what could have been happening in the living room. Did he make the right choice?
"You did well, my friend."
"You really think so, Selmak?"
"Yes. They are adults, they trust each other and they need each other. There is a strong bond connecting them."
"I know."
"It troubles you."
"It scares me."
"It should scare you. You are her father. You care about her well-being. You care about her life. And you also care about her heart."
"I should be concerned, trying to talk her out of this… where is the point in … this? How are the chances? It's just… crazy!"
"And yet you are comfortable around the situation well enough to give them the opportunity to talk."
"Because she has the look her mother used to have."
"She is in love."
"I know she is. And it's real, it's not just a crush or hero worship thing, it's deep and it's real... ergo the look."
"Jacob…"
"Selmak it's okay, really. I'm just worried about her. And about him too."
"He cares for her deeply."
"I know. Damn I know!"
"Oh friend…" Selmak was trying to be compassionate but there was only a little that could have been done.
"It will destroy them. It already almost had… I just…"
"I believe they haven't chosen the feelings for themselves."
"Yeah, I agree. I think that they had actually tried to bury them and to deny everything even to themselves."
"That seems probable."
"I just…"
"You just?"
"I just hope that this war will be over soon. They both deserve to be happy."
"With each other?"
"I can't say I'm thrilled about her … choice. But yes. Even with each other. And you know what? I have this distant feeling that they wouldn't be happy with anybody else."
"You don't think they will break your Air Force rules?"
"No, they are both too honorable and good to do something like that. As I told her… I trust her. And don't even dare to talk about it but I trust him too."
Jacob ended his conversation with Selmak silently, letting them both rest. Hopefully there would be no headache in the morning after this. He had suspected something… but he was surprised by the passion and power of their feelings. They were real. And they were what they both needed. It scared him. It troubled him. And it made him proud.
"Let's sleep my friend."
"I'm sorry, Selmak, I'm thinking too much."
"You will be sorry if you don't let us enjoy the comfortable bed and soft sheets."
"You like that, huh?"
Selmak didn't even bother with answering. Jacob lied down and after few minutes managed to fall asleep. He was hoping that allowing those two to talk he had done the right thing. He knew that Sam needed to tell somebody and he knew that if there was a person able to understand her fully, it was her CO. And so hopefully they would both find some peace tonight.
He missed his wife, now more than ever. Their little star, their Samantha, had made some wrong choices but right now he knew that they all led her here, to this program, under the command of his old friend and into one crazy team. But she would always be taken care of. And that was more than any parent could ever hoped for.
He just kept on thinking thinking about his little star. And he was so proud of her! He loved her very much... he was her father after all and it meant a lot to him, to both of them actually. He thanked silently Selmak for all the help and finally gave in and fell asleep.
A/N: So not the end I wanted but I can't figure out anything else… ideas?