11. Permit
So I was 15, in the ninth grade and I kissed my first boy. I woke up the next morning happy and smiling. I would say it was a good kiss, at least I think so, I hope I was good, I had no comparison. What if I was bad and he was telling his friends about it? Was I bad? It didn't seem like he hated it. Was he just being nice, it was my first time after all? Maybe if we do it again he would tell me if I am doing something wrong, or maybe he won't talk to me again because I was so bad.
AHHHHH, get out of bed before you drive yourself up a wall, the kiss was good and you enjoyed it, even though it wasn't what you expected. He enjoyed it too now get in the shower and get to school. After that I was good. Once I got to school and saw Bobby I knew everything was OK. He had a grin on his face that went from ear to ear. He walked up to me when he saw me pulled me into his embrace and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. By the time he pulled back I was red from ear to ear. He saw the color of my face, chuckled and apologized. I playfully smacked him on the arm and curled up against his chest as he hugged me again. I asked if this means we were dating. He simply replied it is whatever I want it to be. Once the bell rang we headed to class.
For the rest of the day we didn't really touch, other than hands. In fact once he realized my reaction to embarrassment we didn't do much in the way of public displays of affection. We did have a date to go see a movie. It was one I had already seen, but he hadn't so I was OK with what I was pretty sure was going to be a Susan style make out session. Which made me blush, and I was kind of looking forward to it. So logically the rest of the week went by so slowly.
Finally date night was here, but I didn't want to be to temping because I didn't want to give him the wrong impression so I stuck with slacks and shirt, tucked in, just in case. I did fix my hair a little and wore kitten heels not sandals, but still shied away from makeup. My mom dropped my off at the mall entrance as we were going to walk around before we ate and then go see the movie. We hugged and did a quick pop kiss when he greeted me, then the rest of the time we just held hands.
Once we got our seats in the theater we held hands and chatted about school and homework that we had to get done for next week. Once the movie started we quietly started watching it. After the big beginning scene, about 20 minutes in, he turned toward me and started kissing me. As I expected we made out for most of the movie. He was a gentleman and didn't try and touch me anywhere he shouldn't. He had one hand on my leg, at my knee, with his other arm around me holding my shoulder and arm. Once he grabbed my waist, toward the end when it was about over, and pulled me into him. After that he did another quick kiss and sat back for the closing scene. As we headed out I was telling him about what all he missed, just in case anyone asked.
Not much change over the next few months. Phil would sneak me out when Renee was busy and let me drive around the neighborhood and for the first time I was not a fifth wheel at Halloween. I ended up at two Thanksgiving dinners and two Christmas celebrations and a New Year Eve party that was very enjoyable, the first time I was kissing a guy at the turn of the New Year. Valentine's Day was very nice; we did dinner, just the two of us and went to see a play, Phantom of the Opera, which I love. After the show Phil picked us up and we went back to my house where his mom was waiting. We kissed goodnight and he left.
As the year progressed and my mom's wedding was getting near the anxiety level was peaking. She already had most of the major things done so not sure what was going on there. But I just sat back and kept my head down and let her figure things out. As expected the Mexico idea was out, even though I had my passport already.
It was nice to get to school and be around sane people because my mother was driving me nuts at this point. After a few more months of my new routine I was glad to be close to summer. I was also glad that Charlie had agreed to San Francisco this year. Bobby and I were doing well; it was nice in such a big school because no one seemed to notice or care about anyone outside of their group. Not to mention a couple middle schools made up the High School so there had been a lot of new 9th graders and everyone seemed to stick to their pervious groups. Even in a school of 3,000 I really didn't fit in with anyone of the groups and had just my few friends. But, as far as school years goes, I am ranking this as the best yet, aside from math and gym, where I was barely passing and getting bruised, battered and beaten up, by myself.
The last day of class was great, we all ran out as fast as we could, well I walked swiftly, as running is never a good idea for me. My mom wasn't there yet so Bobby took a moment to kiss me goodbye, even though we were going to the pool in like three days. He was still being a gentleman and not doing anything I didn't want to do. I couldn't believe my luck when you think about it. Brenda had gone a lot further than I, not sex, I don't think, but close. I learned Susan had gone all the way with Gary, but decided not to tell us all about it, like she seems to do everything else. I don't bring it up and she doesn't talk about it except the few times it slipped, like the pain of her first time, which was the only reason we actually knew she had. Besides that we haven't talked about our relationships much, or at least they haven't to me. Maybe because I have only kissed a guy, but whatever, nothing can bring me down right now as I see my mom pulling up.
Big news for this summer, I was getting my permit before I left for California. I had passed the driver's ed test and have been driving with Phil in the neighborhood. He is actually a very good and patient teacher. He is good at motivating me and teaching me what I do right and wrong, but also helping me improve; parallel parking, it should be outlawed.
The next day my mom took me to get my permit and I passed, I was so excited, so I was licensed to drive. I ran out and stood by the driver's side door with my hand out. My mom looked at me and laughed, but handed me the keys so I forgive her. I was a very cautious driver. Kept close to the speed limit, there is no reason to go faster than what is posted. And made use of my turn signal, even if I was just changing lanes and when we got home safe and sound my mom was impressed. I know she knew I was taking lessons from Phil, but she has never really seen me drive. Apparently I drive better than I walk. So for the next few weeks I drove everywhere. Went to Brenda's and Susan's a couple nights, the pool, the mall for some clothes for California, dinner dates with Bobby, it was great.
The night before I had to go visit Charlie, Bobby and I went to see another movie we had both watched. I was nervous because we were making out all the time and he seemed to be getting a little more anxious, or restless might be better, like he wanted more. So I bit my lower lip and looked in the closet, I picked out my nice shorts that I just bought and a new button down. The movie has been out for a while so I was hoping it wouldn't be crowded. I am not sure I was ready for this, but I did like Bobby and we had been together almost a year now. I was ready for this; it is just second base and not like much could happen.
I jumped in the driver seat making my mom my passenger again and headed to the theater. Once we got there Bobby was waiting, tickets in hand. Damn, now he is two up on me. I better get a job at a bookstore when I get back so I'll have some extra money. I headed over to him and as my mom pulled away he leaned in to kiss me, "You look amazing!" I blushed, no I don't I am not really that pretty just another girl who's face would get lost in a little crowd.
"Thanks." Was all I could manage.
We found some seat that were in a little shadow and sat and talked till the movie started. As the lights lowered I felt his hands touching me leg and I turned to meet his lips. After that we were kissing and the movie was forgotten. After about three quarters of the way through I chickened out. I told him he could touch me, but not go up my shirt, if he would like. I should have saved my breath at the last part, he was there almost before I finished saying it. The rest of the 'movie' was pleasant not rough, but enough amount of pressure, I kind of enjoyed it, I suppose. Though I don't understand the male's obsession with second base, I mean they are for baby's milk. But he certainly seemed to enjoy it as the kisses were deep and long. It was good, but as much as I enjoyed kissing Bobby, I still had a nagging feeling it was suppose to be better. I never felt a connection, a spark, not really.
After the movie ended I straightened my clothes that twisted and he seemed to do the same then we kissed once more. I applied a little lip gloss as my lips were a little chapped and lightly kissed him, which he thanked me, but rubbed in the gloss. Once we left, mom and Phil were waiting; mom was in the back and Phil in the passenger seat. I hugged and kissed Bobby and told him I would miss him and call him when I got to California.
I drove home and headed to my room; I was already packed so I jumped in the shower and went straight to bed. That night I dreamt about that damn grass area again. I hope I didn't call out Edward again, but couldn't tell. I keep thinking it is suppose to be a scary place or a place with something scary, but I never got that feeling when I was there. When I wake up I feel a shiver, that is always how it has been but in recent months I have dreamt about it a couple times. Prior it was less than once a year so I never put it together with the dream. Oh well time to see Charlie so I'll put that thought on the back burner and get ready for my vacation.