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Peeks out hoping its safe…

Here's chapter 18

Chapter 18

BPOV

Leah has been given a traditional Native American burial and was set to rest next to Jacob. Leah's folks never even made an appearance. Edward and I handled all that was needed. We followed Leah's will to a 'T' and in three weeks J.J will be a Cullen. So I suppose he won't be a Jr. anymore. He will always be J.J to all of us though. We walked through the doors of the house and Seth stops in the hall and spins to face me and Jake.

"Mom, he clearly looks different what do we say to him when he is older?" Seth is not upset about us adopting Jake, in fact he says he will be more than happy to give any kids that lose their parents a home and a big brother, and that Jake is lucky to have a Mom that won't leave him. A super hero Mom is what he calls me. Little does he know, I will have to leave some day.

"We will tell him his Mother died but she loved him dearly." I answer with a nod.

"Mom, that's just crazy you can't tell a person their Mom, killed herself." Seth looks shocked.

"No, we will tell him his Mother died in her sleep."

"So we will lie to him." Seth crosses his arms in disagreement.

"Seth I am the Mother, you will do well to remember that" I take Jacob and leave Seth in the hall. I know he doesn't understand but I am in no mood to argue with a child.

I change Jacob and put him down for a nap. I have chosen to leave him in his Mother's room just remove all of her things. They have been moved to a storage unit so one day if he so chooses he may have them. The letter Leah wrote along with the one to his future wife, however are locked away in the office safe. None of the children know about it so Jacob will be safe from the truth. It may not be the wisest of decisions but I would much rather carry the burden than have him blame himself for his Mother's death.

I am still upset with Leah for acting in such a foolish manner. I know she knew I would take her son and love him as my own after all I do have his brother but I still wish she would have been strong enough to take care of him here on earth herself. As it is she is not, so with a heavy heart I kiss her son's head once for her and once for Jake then return to the rest of the family.

*Three Weeks Later*

Jacob is now Jacob Anthony Black Cullen today. The procedures are complete and now Edward is his Father and I am his Mother by law. We will never take what Leah and Jake were to him away, we are just going to do what they should have been able to do until he can be with them again.

I still don't see how I never saw this coming. I should have known when she hardly came out of her room, or when she would hold on to him so tight there at the end, or even when Esme said she dropped him off in regular clothes and said to send him with me. I should have been able to put it together with my gut feeling. If I had I would have known to come home first and maybe we could have saved her. Edward feels like he owes her for not being able to save her, which is why he agreed to adopt Jacob.

Sadly, he will not go to Edward that often, he looks for me. When Edward goes to get him from his naps or in the mornings the poor thing will cry until he is in my arms. I think it bothers Edward that he has a son that doesn't want him but I'm sure in time Jacob will come around. I do believe he knows his mother is gone, I just think he doesn't understands though. As a result he is latching on to the next mother finger he knows.

He needs reassurance right now and he finds that in me. Seth is convinced it's because he knows a strong loving heart. Edward has come to think it is the fact that he knows the bond his mother and I built over the death of her Father. Either way I will show him he will always have a home here in this house and in my heart. I will lay down my life for him, just as I would for his newly found brother and sister.

We have a little celebration with just us and our parents. Of course Esme and Carlisle have set Jacob up with a collage account so he will be set with what he wants to do in life. We have added an account in his name just as we have with the other children to give them a good start in life. Just because he didn't come from me, he is now considered mine and will have all the same things as the others do, all the money we can give him as well as love and a warm caring home. Just because Leah and Jake are not here does not mean he needs to miss out on all of that. He needs safe and caring arms to run to when he is hurt and a safe place to fall if the time should arise. He will need a Mom to kiss is scraps and a Dad to show him how to throw a football, and something tells me he will follow in his biological Father's steps and lead his team with pride. What will be interesting though is how he will live. Will he choose to embrace his heritage or continue on the path we provide? Whatever he chooses I will support him to the best of my ability, because that is what my friends would have wanted.

As everything winds down I see my new little guy is getting tired so I take him up and lay him down, kissing each cheek once for Leah and once for Jake. It is something I do for him now, letting him know they did love him and they will never stop.

Seth has handles what he has seen with all the strength a child his age can. He has not had any nightmares; he has latched on to Jacob out of respect for Leah and Jake as well. In his opinion Jacob needs someone to look out for him and that is his job as the oldest. I don't think I have ever been so proud of my son in life.

*Four Weeks Later*

EPOV

Everyone seems to be getting back to life as normally as possible. Little Jake is adapting well and finally starting to warm up to more than Seth and Bella. For a while there I was starting to think he was never going to take to me. It wasn't until a couple of night ago when Bella was not feeling well and he needed fed that he finally figured out I am here for him too. He still hasn't said a word and he was starting to talk before Leah died.

We sat in that chair for what felt like hours while I waited for him to eat. He was stubborn as all get out but he finally gave in. I think he saw I wasn't going anywhere until he was done and that showed him I am in this for life. His Father was a good man and I will never do anything to tarnish his name that is why he still has Black in his name. His mother is a wonderful woman too, she may have chickened out in life but she did make sure their son was taken care of. In all honesty can you find a better mother than Bella?

I walk through the door after work never a happier man. "I'm home" I call out through the house. Just like every other day I am bombarded with happy children. The one that shocks me though is Jake; he is toddling up to me smiling brightly.

I bend down a pick him up, "hey there big boy, have you been good for mommy today?" he just giggles and hugs me as tightly as his little arms can hold me. Now I have had my fair share of hugs but this one makes my throat tighten a little. The other children prattle on about their days and I listen as well as I can with three children talking all at once. I caught something about math lessons, how that boy, I forget his name, is talking to Amanda again, and how Bella has started supper and Seth took care of Jake. I shake my head to clear it and send them up to get washed up, because if I know my wonderful wife she has supper just about done.

I walk over to the island bar where Bella is standing smiling weakly for some reason. She looks so tired I worry about her. "Welcome home angel" she says.

"Good to be home Love" I smile back hiding my concern for her.

"Supper is done, go ahead and sit down." She turns to the fridge "Beer or soda tonight."

"Oh, I only delivered one child today so a soda is fine" I laugh.

She brings out my soda and three cups and a sippy cup for Jake, along with a gallon of milk. Then returns with supper, and sets out some on a plate to cool for Jake, as the kids pile up to the table. She slowly lifts Jake into his high chair. Seth pushes in Amanda's chair for her and she smiles at him in appreciation.

Supper goes like any other, with nice quiet chatter and Jake making a mess of everything. I feel like I am watching some strange video as dinner winds down and Seth takes Amanda and Billy to the play room and Bella tends to Jake.

"What can I do Love?" I ask because if I do it and do it wrong it will not help her mood any and I may just come out without a head… if I come out alive.

She looks at me, so tiredly but smiles softly, "nothing Angel just go and relax you have had a hard day at work." She nods to the couch.

I do as she says, because I'm not stupid, and go sit down. After the house is cleaned back up the dish washer is running and the kids are all down for the night Bella comes in and sit down with me.

"So you only delivered one child today huh?" She says after staying silent for a while.

"Yes, a little boy" I nod once. "He was a big one too." I chuckle and she giggles.

We fall back into a comfortable silence then out of nowhere she gets up and leaves the room. After returning a minute later she returns and drops something in my lap and falls to the couch again.

I pick it up and look at it. It takes a minute to register it's a home pregnancy test and it had two pink lines.

"Bella…" I hold it up and look at her almost like I am asking her to explain the obvious.

"Yes Edward it's a home pregnancy test and its positive." She huffs a laugh through her nose.

"Is it…"

"Yes it mine and yes I have a doctor's appointment set for tomorrow. I took that this morning and called for an appointment." She sounds torn about this.

"Are you okay with this?" I hold up the test, like we would be talking about anything else at the moment.

"Am I ready? No. But we did say we were going to do this so I will deal with it…"

"WE will deal with this Bella. I'm here too." I take her hand. "We will be fine."

I know I should be worried about this, after what happened with Emmett's kids but I can't help but think of one thing.

Bella is a horny as hell pregnant woman and I am about to get laid…a lot…

Okay this one is going through so stay with me, and, see what the doctor says- it's a shocker. Leave me a review with your thoughts…