14. Revelation
The trip with Charlie was a lot of fun. We did our sightseeing and tours. Also I went deep sea fishing with him, something he has wanted to do. I was very close to losing my breakfast. Then for what reason I am not sure we went for a day hike through the forest. It was slow going as I found every root in the forest to trip on. But Charlie had a really good time and we did go see a few museums and a couple plays. Over all I had a enjoyed my time with him, and it only rained a couple times for a few hours, total. This time when I asked about Forks he told me not much has changed. A few animal attacks in the area, but nothing unusual.
Once I got back from California I finished putting away my things I headed down to find something to eat. As much fun as I had with Charlie it was good to be home. There really is only so much sightseeing and tours and dinners out one can stand before you want to do nothing but lie on the couch and not move for four hours straight. Naturally the animal attack was only exciting news in Forks. Not that I really expected anything to be different. The biggest news in the last 16 years was a family moving into the area, voluntarily.
Mom and Phil were out tonight. So I made something quick and easy and watch a old classic. Heading to bed I was glad it was summer. I was looking forward to my summer routine, which now included a full time job. I agreed to more hours when I got back so I was working 40 hour a weeks. I enjoyed it, it kept me occupied. Now that I had a car I had a lot more freedom. But also was responsible for all the grocery shopping. I didn't mind, it was a comfort zone for me, my little space that I knew what I needed and where it was. I also had to make sure to do my own clothes shopping. I never really enjoyed shopping, it was always a necessary evil, but now that I had to, I liked shopping even less.
As classes were getting closer I felt change coming. I kept picking up things, the way my mom was acting, the way Phil was when he got home. A shiver went down my spine when I remember the nightmare of me living in Forks. And when I thought of my mom crying at the beginning of the summer when Phil was gone to his game.
On the first day of my junior year Phil had to leave for a double away game. He was also looking to get in with another team. Really didn't bother to find out how that worked, but I was pretty sure there were not a lot of teams around here for him to get in with. However there have been whispers of Florida. Not sure when that came about, but I am sure that is going to be a problem.
As requested my 17th birthday had the very smallest amount of celebration possible. For Mr. and Mrs. Dwyer's 1 year anniversary I went to stay with Susan again, Brenda was a little more occupied with her men these days, yes men, she was string along two at the moment and Susan and Gary were still together and very happy. The same time for the second year in a row I found myself talking with Susan about issues that I had. After a two hour conversation that touched on about everything from work to friends to guys to parents to my life in general I was ready for bed, mentally exhausted.
As I lie in bed and look at her ceiling I figured it was time to make a decision. I knew I didn't have to decide right away, it had yet to be brought up, but it was coming and I needed to be ready. I might even have to bring it up myself.
'Mom, I want to move to Forks to live with Charlie and finish out my high school days at Forks High', I cringed. That just sounds like something from a horror flick. 'Mom, I am staying here and you will just have to miss Phil when he is on his away games and if he does get to play in Florida you can go when I leave for college.' Wow, could I be anymore selfish. So let's boil this down to what it really amounts to, make myself unhappy by living in Forks, or make my mom unhappy by having her be away from Phil, a lot. Well when I put it like that, it looks like I am going to need a new coat.
That night I had my cursed Forks dream, but also had that field dream too. I was actually happy, I mean really really happy. I woke up with a start and thought about what I had seen. The field doesn't look anything like anywhere I have seen in Forks, but I remember the dream when I walked there, it was way out in the woods. I was sure that looked like the same type of trees by Charlie's, like the whole area actually. So I must be miserable in Forks then I will find somewhere sunny and warm with grass and a field and someone to make me happy. It was a long shot, but at least there is a small ray of hope that I won't completely hate it. I'll go second semester so I don't miss anything here. As I turned on my side to go back to sleep tears streamed down my cheeks. Decision made, didn't like it, but I was moving to Forks, Washington in January. I just hope it doesn't take me to long to find my angel in the clearing.
The next morning I woke up and got ready. I figure I will need to bring this up soon so by January Renée might believe that I really want to live with Charlie. Susan came in asked if everything was OK. I looked at her and nodded. She gave me the, you aren't telling me everything glance, but let it go. I was really going to miss her. She knew when not to bother me and when to talk or when to yell, if needed. She was a best friend of best friends, damn traitorous tears. She came over and gave me a hug and told me she is hear when I am ready to talk. I smiled and nodded and told her how much I appreciated her.
Once I got home I planned my first ambush when Phil was away. It would be easier to get out and get my mom on board without Phil. Phil would go for it if my mom agrees. If mom argues and says no then Phil won't want to hurt my mom, I guess that is way I needed to make sure this works. Phil can take care of my mom just as well as I can, if not better.
Phil leaves in two days, I need to start thinking of arguments and reasons and lots of rebuttals. Guess it is time to start both of my homework assignments now. For the next two day I do my homework, every time I am not working on school work or at the bookstore I was thinking about what I had to say and what my mom would come back with.
Phil left early in the morning so when my mom comes home I would start slow. I would talk about Charlie, and how he has been alone for so long and I haven't been to Forks in a few years now and kind of miss it. Talk about how Charlie isn't getting any younger and once I go to college, wherever that is going to be, I won't get much of a chance to see him. Besides, it would be nice to spend a birthday and Christmas with him, at least once. Here goes nothing, as I head down to get dinner ready.
After a three hour debate she gave in, but hasn't given up. She has agreed to consider it, but refused to call Charlie and get his hopes up in case I decided in the next few months to change my mind. She has all but convinced herself that it will happen. My decision was made a few days ago there is no going back now, but I let her have this small concession. For the next few days she pretends like the conversation never happened.
Then the night before Phil was to come home she started in again telling me that I really didn't need to go and that her and Phil were getting along fine and the time apart only makes the heart grow fonder and at that point I interrupt. Letting her know that this is something that I want to do and it has nothing to do with her and Phil. Then I pick out a few more arguments about how I don't have a boyfriend and only a few friends so I am not really attached to this area. If they do end up moving it would be easier for me to already be in stable house and settled in school. It is only a year and a half, it won't be that bad, besides I'll be able to come to Florida and dry off over the summer.
I saw a range of emotions on her face, happy and sad being the most prominent skeptical was a close third. I am sure she is ecstatic about being able to go on the road with Phil, but also sad about being without me for a long while. Other than my time with Charlie, we have never been apart for an extended period of time. I smiled and told her it is was I wanted to do, for the millionth time. I wasn't sure if I was trying to convince her or myself at this point.
She finally caved and agreed, but still was not calling Charlie or getting a plane ticket. She wanted me to really think about it before she brought it up gain and if I still wanted to then she'll make the arrangements. I agreed with the request, not letting her know that I had already done all the arguing and thinking in my head. So for the next month life was sailing along, with no gym, my accidents at school were cut by more than half.
Once Phil left on his next away trip I got the third degree, again. I finally convinced her it was what I wanted to do and she smiled, nodded and told me I could come home whenever I wanted. Once Phil came home she talked with him and as I suspected he agree with whatever she thought. Then she called Charlie, I had the feeling he was very calm Chief Swan on the phone, but as soon as he hung up he was Dad Swan. I would bet he would tell the whole town his daughter, Isabella, was coming home; I never liked the name Isabella.
One good thing about moving there is we're very much alike in our solitude. Neither one of us needs to talk or do something to keep from being uncomfortable. He also leaves me to my privacy, he doesn't hover, not that my mom is bad, but she is my mom and best friend. And overly observant, I suppose it was a good thing I was a good girl. I doubt I would have been able to get away with anything. If my traitorous blush didn't give me away, she would certainly have pickup up on something to bust me.
Well my plans were set and I would be leaving before the start of the second semester. With the hard part out of the way I was only left with the impossible; convince myself I made the right decision. For the rest of that year I constantly told myself this will be good, this is a good thing, this is for mom and even Charlie. The holiday season was about the same, a few sweaters this year though. I did get a CD from Phil, apparently one of his favorite bands, I never heard of them though and it was a little loud, more of a metal band and not something I had ever been into. As I was saying good bye to my friends on my last day I started crying. I really didn't want to leave. I didn't want to leave Susan, the sun, my mom, my car, OH god I was going to have to ride in the police cruiser, just kill me know. Before I got home I cleaned up and put on my smile.
After I had gotten home that day I cleaned the house and made dinner. The next day was Saturday and I had to go shopping for rain gear and more cold weather clothes. I made a list of what I had, it was a short list, and what I knew I would need and it was a long list. I got out my bags for the trip and started packing the things I knew I wouldn't need until I got there. I emptied my desk of all none essentials and cleaned out my bathroom of excess stuff. Mom and Phil went out that night and it was a good thing because I could not stop the tears from flowing. As I did my last load of laundry and put away my clothes I got into bed, with tears streaming down my face.
That was a very restless night sleep. I tossed and turn, was happy and sad, frightened and overjoyed, and I had no idea the details of the dream. I didn't like not being able to remember my dreams, it was very unusual, and it was almost like it was of something I couldn't imagine or believe to be true. The few times I couldn't remember anything from my dreams I would have déjà vu later. It was like a dream of the future, but couldn't really remember anything about it. I would later remember what the dream was about, when it happened. Like sitting in class with a book open to a certain page and the teacher telling us we were going to have a pop quiz or something like that, but it was always stupid stuff. However, this seemed different, felt different, and I was hoping to find out what it was before it drove me crazy.
The next day I moped. Not around mom or Phil, but took forever in the shower so the tears could fall freely, then spent hours outside reading in the sun. Looking up when the sun was highest in the sky so I could say goodbye to my brightest best friend. I cleaned out my car, but left the fuzzy dice in the glove box. Did a quick walk around and made sure I had everything cleaned and picked up. Then I got ready for dinner.
My last supper, the last night in Phoenix we went to a nice restaurant and ordered enough food for an army. After I ate so much I was sure I was going to have to be rolled out. We got home and I did a once over the house and made sure I didn't forget anything. Satisfied I had everything and was as ready as I would ever be, I went to bed.
It didn't help that night either when I was back in Forks. But it was different; I was happy, genuinely happy and had no idea why. I was reading in my bed like always but kept looking at the window like I was expecting something to just appear in it. The next scene was horrible, everyone in school was staring at me, but it wasn't just me, I felt the presence next to me again, couldn't see anything but there was something, someone. Last was the field, I was standing in the middle looking toward a dark area of the woods, waiting, expecting to see something or someone. I wasn't scared or nervous, I was curious.