15. Memories

The next morning I woke up to a very bright and warm morning. As I dragged myself out of bed I decided that I had better start acting happy or my mom would not be convinced when I went down stairs. After a very long shower, I was procrastinating, I got dressed in jeans and my favorite sleeveless shirt, a small gesture to my impending departure. I left my hair down so I could feel the heat of the sun on my head as I walked to the car. My luggage was by the door ready for my imprisonment; along with my rain coat, an essential there was laughed at here.

I was glad I lived here, it was a huge city. I could disappear without trying. I blended into the back ground and no one really saw me, I liked that, that was a good thing, I hated attention. I was a klutz, a plain, simple nothing special klutz and in Phoenix no one cared or noticed. However, in Forks there will not be enough people to allow me to blend in. I will stand out like a sore thumb, the Chief of Police's daughter returns to Forks after seventeen years. I just bet that was a headline in the paper this morning, right before deer spotted in town. AHHH, I flopped back on the bed and stared at the ceiling, why does fate have to be so cruel? I know I am doing the right thing, I can feel it, but it doesn't mean I have to like it.

So let me think of what I am leaving behind. No boyfriend, let's face it those never went to well. A really good friend, I will certainly miss Susan and a decent friend, Brenda I'll miss, but we had fallen out of touch here lately. My car, luckily I have been saving my money when I got that job, will need to use it and get a car as soon as possible, I don't want to ride with Charlie. The sun, which is the big one, the warmth and light of the sun I crave like breathing. I can't say I really like shopping, but at least with the big city there were things to do, place to go. Now I will be living in a town with nothing but a diner, a school, and a grocery store.

Can't believe what I have gotten myself into! Get a grip, this is a good thing. Charlie needs me; it has been a long time since he has had anyone take care of him. I bet he still eats out almost every night. I bet he doesn't have any groceries either, guess that will be the first thing to get done. I suppose I will be taking over the household cleaning and most likely bill paying duties as well. OK well this is as much for Charlie as it is for mom and Phil. I can do this, my family needs me. As I sit on the edge of my bed I wipe away the tears and take deep breathes.

With a soft knock on the door Phil asks to chat. Surprised, but I tell him sure. "You don't have to do this for us, Bella. I know you have never been a fan of Forks and I do miss Renée when I am gone, but it isn't that long and it makes our time together more special."

I smiled my best fake smile, "I know, but I am actually looking forward to living there. It is very odd place, like some other planet. Hard to explain, but I think it would be good for me to live with my dad. He needs me and once I go to college who knows when I'll get to spend some quality time with him. Might be the last chance we could sit down and have a decent meal together without me worrying about summer school or term papers or something."

He nodded, not sure if he bought it, but I thought it was almost convincing. He said that we would be ready to leave in a few hours. I nodded as he left the room and shut the door. You know when people that tell a lie have told it enough that they start to believe the lie themselves. Well that is never going to happen in the case. Squishy green blob that is permanently soaked through and will never dry covering the whole stupid area around Charlie's house on another plant and you should need a passport and a mental exam to even go there.

Speaking of I might need my passport, it is close to Canada, might as well get my birth certificate too, might need that for school or to get my driver's license changed. As I headed down the hall toward the little safe in the closet I decided I would go to a school that offers something where I can leave the country. No point in getting my passport for the big international wedding that never happened, but now that I have it might as well use it. It would be nice to be able to go somewhere with a long history or an ancient city, I would like to go to England or Japan; maybe to Italy they have lots of history and arts. It would be nice to visit another country. Of course if I wanted to go to Italy I would have to find a millionaire who could afford to take us both. I chuckled to myself, what kind of person would live in Forks if they had money.

As I open the closet I saw some old photo albums I haven't looked through in years. Checking the time I pulled them out and start looking through them. OK this should be illegal. Who in their right mind would wear clothes like this? I didn't know my mom's hair could get that big; I might have to accidently leave that out for Phil to look at. Not leaving this one, although my mom does look beautiful in her wedding dress and she looks so happy; my dad looks like he is on cloud nine. Well there I almost am, wow my mom was big with me. OH god! Stupid doctors get a blanket I'm cold. These should have been burned! I hate it when parents take pictures of infants naked. I don't see why they think it is cute. It is embarrassing once we grow up and have to look at them, I quickly turn the page. OH look, another naked picture of me.

Wow, Charlie has a really nice smile. I could see why my mom would have been so taken with him. I don't know that I have seen him smile like that since she left him. I always thought he was holding on to hope that she would come back. Guess I'm a little glad I am going up there now that there is no chance, since she just got remarried. Here is one of all of us when we got back to the house, my grandma looks happy. How sad, this is last picture of them together, the day before she left and neither is smiling and I am crying.

OH NO, she has all the school photos and those weird day care pictures in here. Wow I am a boring looking girl; I almost can't even make myself out in half these class photos. Well looks like I might not stand out at Forks. Hopefully the novelty will wear off in a day or so and I can blend in again. I certainly am nothing special so I doubt the new kid fever will last long. I can't believe how pale I am. The other kids look so tan, maybe that is one good thing; at least no tan is required in a sunless town. I'll kind of fit in right off the bat.

UGH, what am I going to do without the sun? Walk around town with a cape and drink blood. Who lives in stupid little town with no sun? HA HA HA, I am sure it hurt back then but seeing myself tripping and having it caught on film is priceless, especially when I can't tell what I am tripping over, nothing, I am sure. Ohh the pain I had to endure. Why would my mom keep photos from ballet when I hated it? Do parents really have no shame? OK, I have got to leave. Can't be much else worth looking at, that I can tell, I was getting older and my mom hasn't been taking pictures for a while. I really didn't do much to give her a reason, no camps, no sports, no dancing or theatrical endeavors, wow, I am a boring.

Now to my original purpose, I opened the safe and grab my passport and birth certificate and head back to my room. As I grab my one and only purse I stuff my passport in the pocket, I heard my mom call my name and knock softly on the door. "Bella, I know you've made up your mind, but if you ever want to change it you…" I cut her off.

"I know mom, but this is something I want to do, maybe even need to do. I just looked through some photos and saw one of Charlie smiling; I don't know the last time I saw him like that." She looked at me and smiled and nodded and slipped out without another word, I hope I didn't hurt her feelings.

I took one more look around the room to make sure I had everything and picked up my back pack. Noticing I was still holding my birth certificate I tossed the bag on the bed. As I opened it to put my birth certificate in I could not help but notice something scribbled in the bottom corner. As I looked at it closer, I slumped on the bed, in defeat, I know knew just how bad this was going to be because I noticed it was my mom's handwriting and there was only one word: Sunny.